WOT'S BIN MENDED--NAME OF MISS JULIER PEARLASH!"
_Old Lady._ "MISS!!!!!?????"
_Voice from the Area._ "OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, MUM. IT'S ME!"]
[Illustration: _AN IRISH HOTEL._
_Traveller._ "HOLLO! WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU ABOUT WITH THAT GRIDIRON?"
_Chambermaid._ "TO BE SURE, IT'S YER HONOUR'S BED I'M WARMING; AND
AIN'T OUR WARMING-PAN ENGAGED FRYING SAUSAGES?"]
[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. IV.
_Servant Gal._ "WELL, MAM--HEVERYTHINK CONSIDERED--I'M AFRAID YOU WONT
SUIT ME. I'VE ALWAYS BIN BROUGHT UP GENTEEL; AND I COULDN'T GO NOWHERES
WHERE THERE AIN'T NO FOOTMAN KEP'."]
[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. V.
_Servant Gal (who has quarrelled with her bread-and-butter)._ "IF YOU
PLEASE, MA'AM, I FIND THERE'S COLD MEAT FOR DINNER IN THE KITCHEN, DID
YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT IT?"
_Lady._ "OF COURSE I EXPECT YOU TO EAT IT, AND AN EXCELLENT DINNER,
TOO."
_Servant._ "OH, THEN, IF YOU PLEASE'M, I SHOULD LIKE TO LEAVE THIS DAY
WEEK."
[_Exit idiot._]
[Illustration: _AT ASCOT._
THE ONLY "PARTIES" WHO ENJOYED THE WET DAY.]
[Illustration: _MAKING THE BEST OF IT._
Enthusiast. "THIS IS REALLY ADMIRABLE!--I GET MY SWIM--AND A SHOWER
BATH IN!"]
[Illustration: _SMALL BY DEGREES, AND BEAUTIFULLY LESS._
_Shopman._ "OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR--BUT THE LADY LEFT HER PARASOL
ON THE COUNTER!"
_Swell._ "HAW! YA--AS--NO! THAT IS, IT'S MY UMBRELLAW. THANKS! BY JOVE!
HAW!"]
[Illustration: _A DRAWING-ROOM ENTERTAINMENT._]
[Illustration: _THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._--No. II.
"MY EYE, TOM, WHAT A 'ORRID BORE IT MUST BE FOR THE HORFICER
SWELLS, NOW WE'VE TOOK TO WEARIN' OUR MOOSTARCHERS. THE GALS CAN'T
TELL US FROM THEM, NOW!"]
[Illustration: _BATTLEDORE AND SHUTTLECOCK._
THE POPULAR AND AMUSING GAME AS AT PRESENT PLAYED IN THE PRINCIPAL
THOROUGHFARES.]
[Illustration: _A PLEASING DELUSION._
_Smith._ "HOLLO! POSTER, AIN'T YOU PRECIOUS DRUNK, RATHER?"
_Post Boy._ "DRUNK! NOT A BIT OF IT."]
[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. VI.
_Lady._ "WISH TO LEAVE? WHY, I THOUGHT, THOMPSON, YOU WERE VERY
COMFORTABLE WITH ME!"
_Thompson (who is extremely refined)._ "HOH YES, MAM! I DON'T FIND NO
FAULT WITH YOU, MAM--NOR YET WITH MASTER--BUT THE TRUTH HIS, MAM--THE
HOTHER SERVANTS IS SO 'ORRID VULGAR, AND HIGNORANT, AND SPEAKS SO
HUNGRAMMATICAL, THAT I REELY CANNOT LIVE IN THE SAME 'OUSE WITH
'EM--AND I SHOULD LIKE TO GO THIS DAY MONTH, IF SO BE HAS IT WON'T
ILLCONVENIENCE YOU!"]
[Illustration: _THE SEA-SIDE HAT._
WHAT IS ENOUGH FOR ONE IS ENOUGH FOR TWO.]
[Illustration: _HOW TO ESCAPE FROM A SCOLDING WIFE._
_Patient (inhaling Ether)._ "THIS IS REALLY QUITE DELIGHTFUL--A MOST
BEAUTIFUL DREAM."]
[Illustration: _A BIT OF HIS MIND._
_Edward (to his Military Cousin)._ "NO! I SHAN'T! I SHAN'T GO AND SHOOT
BLACKBIRDS; AND I TELL YOU WHAT, MASTER CHARLEY, YOU DRAGOON SWELLS
WON'T HAVE QUITE SUCH A PULL UPON US CIVILIANS NOW, FOR WE ARE ALL
GOING TO GROW BEARDS AND MOUSTACHIOS."]
[Illustration: _HOW TO GET A CONNECTION._
_Shopman (to Ancient Party)._ "YES, MISS--THANK YOU, MISS--IS THERE ANY
OTHER ARTICLE, MISS?--CAN WE SEND IT FOR YOU, MISS?"
[_Old Lady thinks it SUCH a nice shop, and SUCH well-behaved
young men._]
[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. VII.
_'Ousemaid (from Town)._ "IS HANN JENKINS AT HOME?"
_Suburban Cook._ "NO, SHE HAS JUST GONE TO HER MILLINER'S!"
_'Ousemaid._ "THEN GIVE HER MY CARD, PLEASE, AND SAY, I 'OPE SHE GOT
HOME SAFELY FROM THE BALL."]
[Illustration: _AN ALARMING MESSAGE._
"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MOTHER'S TOOK THE LOTION, AND RUBBED HER LEG WITH
THE MIXTURE!"]
[Illustration: _A MISTAKEN IMPRESSION._
_First Young Lady._ "OH, DEAR. HOW DULL THE OLD TOWN IS, NOW ALL THE
OFFICERS ARE GONE ABROAD!"
_Second ditto (a trifle older)._ "H'M--FOR MY PART, I'M VERY GLAD
THEY'RE GONE, FOR THEY WERE ALWAYS FOLLOWING ONE ABOUT!"]
[Illustration: _TOUCHING SIMPLICITY._
_Little Wife (eagerly opening the door for dear Edwin)._ "OH, SEE,
DEAR, WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU--I'M SURE UNCLE HAS GOT YOU AN APPOINTMENT
UNDER GOVERNMENT AT LAST--FOR HERE'S A LETTER MARKED IMMEDIATE, AND
'_ON HER MAJESTY'S SERVICE!_'"
[_Poor little soul! what does she know about Rates and Taxes?_]
[Illustration: _AN AGED JUVENILE._
_Miss Flora Macfungus._ "I DARESAY YOU THINK ME A VERY ODD GIRL; AND,
INDEED, MAMMA SAYS I'M A GIDDY, THOUGHTLESS CREATURE, AND"--
_Partner._ "OH, HERE'S A VACANT SEAT, I THINK."]
[Illustration: _JUDICIOUS!_
"STAND ON MY HEAD, MARM, FOR A PENNY."
"NO, LITTLE BOY--THERE IS A PENNY FOR KEEPING RIGHT END UPWARDS."]
[Illustration: _GOOD REASONS._
_Railway Official._ "YOU'D BETTER NOT SMOKE, SIR!"
_Traveller._ "THAT'S WHAT MY FRIENDS SAY."
_Railway Official._ "BUT YOU _MUSN'T_ SMOKE, SIR!"
_Traveller._ "SO MY DOCTOR TELLS ME."
_Railway Official (indignantly)._ "BUT YOU _SHAN'T_ SMOKE, SIR!"
_Traveller._ "AH! JUST WHAT MY WIFE SAYS."]
[Illustration: _POULTRY FANCIES._
NAUGHTY LITTLE BOY A "COCHIN" IT FOR THROWING STONES AT THE FOWLS.]
[Illustration: _INDISCRETION._
_Lydia._ "DON'T, HORACE.--LOOK AT OLD TOMKINS SITTING AT HIS WINDOW."]
[Illustration: _QUITE A NOVELTY._
_Amiable Experimentalist._ "MAKES A DELICIOUS SIDE-DISH, DOESN'T
IT? BUT IT IS NOT THE COMMON MUSHROOM; IT'S A LARGE FUNGUS CALLED
THE AGARICUS PROCERUS. IT GROWS SOLITARY IN HEDGE-ROWS, IS CALLED
COLUBRINUS, FROM THE SNAKE-LIKE MARKINGS ON ITS STEM. THE PILEUS
IS COVERED WITH SCALES, WHICH ARE FORMED BY THE BREAKING-UP OF THE
MUD-COLOURED EPIDERMIS. AND----
[_General panic takes place._]
[Illustration: _CURIOUS MODE OF CONDUCTING A RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT._]
[Illustration: _A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES._
_Old Gentleman._ "WHY, FREDERICK, WHAT A DISGRACEFUL STATE YOU'RE IN,
SIR!--WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
_Frederick._ "COULDN'T--GET A SEAT--SO--I'VE BEEN--TO--TH'--CLUB."]
[Illustration: _AQUATICS._
_Small Boy._ "NOW, THEN! ALL TOGETHER!"]
[Illustration: _OVERTAKEN BY THE TIDE.--MARGATE._]
[Illustration: _EFFECTS OF SALT WATER, AS OBSERVED AT THE REGATTA BALL._
_-- Weatherspoon, Esq. (of the Oriana, R.V.S.)._ "I SAY, TOM, WHAT'S
THAT LITTLE CRAFT WITH THE BLACK VELVET FLYING AT THE FORE, CLOSE UNDER
THE LEE-SCUPPERS OF THE MAN-OF-WAR?"
_Honourable Binnacle (of the Matilda, R.V.Y.C.)._ "WHY, FROM HER FORE
AND AFT RIG, AND THE CUT OF HER MAINSAIL, I SHOULD SAY SHE'S DOWN FROM
THE PORT OF LONDON; BUT I'LL SIGNAL THE COMMODORE TO COME AND INTRODUCE
US."]
[Illustration: _TERRIBLE ACCIDENT._
"WE KNEW HOW IT WOULD BE--GIRLS HOLDING THOSE GREAT ROUND HATS OVER
THEIR EYES, SO THAT THEY CAN'T SEE WHERE THEY ARE GOING.--WHY HERE'S
FLORA PLUMLEY RUN RIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF THAT YOUNG HORACE SPANKER, WHO
HASN'T A PENNY."_--Extract from our Aunt's Letter._]
[Illustration: _OFF THE FORELAND._
_Old Lady (loquitur)._ "NOW, MY GOOD MAN, I HOPE YOU ARE SURE IT WOULD
REALLY DO ME GOOD, BECAUSE I CANNOT TOUCH IT BUT AS MEDICINE!"]
[Illustration: _THE NEW ARRIVAL._]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. I.--_CROWDED STATE OF LODGING-HOUSES._
_Lodging-house Keeper._ "ON'Y THIS ROOM TO LET, MEM. A FOUR POST--A
TENT--AND A VERY COMFORTABLE DOUBLE-BEDDED CHEST OF DRAWERS FOR THE
YOUNG GENTLEMEN."]
[Illustration: No. II.--_YOUNG ENGLAND._
"DOOCED GRATIFYING, AIN'T IT CHARLES, TO SEE SA MUCH IN-DASTRY?"]
[Illustration: No. III.--_PUZZLED VISITORS._
"MON DIEU, ALPHONSE! REGARDEZ-DONC. COMMENT APPELLE-T-ON CETTE MACHINE
LÀ?"
"TIENS, C'EST DRÔLE--MAIS JE NE SAIS PAS."]
[Illustration: No. IV.--_WONDERFUL OBJECTS._
A GENTLEMAN FROM THE COUNTRY MISTAKES THE CRYSTAL SENT BY THE DUKE OF
DEVONSHIRE FOR THE KOH-I-NOOR DIAMOND.]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851
[Illustration: No. V.--_THEATRICAL DEPRESSION._
_Manager._ "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--A--I MEAN RESPECTED INDIVIDUAL,--IN
CONSEQUENCE OF THE GREAT ATTRACTION OF THE EXHIBITION OF CRYSTAL
PALACE, I BEG TO ANNOUNCE TO YOU THAT THIS RIDICULOUS FARCE OF OPENING
MY THEATRE WILL NOT BE REPEATED; AND YOUR ORDER WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU
ON APPLICATION AT THE BOX-OFFICE."]
[Illustration: No. VI.--_A STAGGERER FOR AN EXCURSIONIST._
_Foreigner (with profuse gesticulation)._ "PARDON, M'SIEU!
FAUT-IL ALLER A DROITE, A GAUCHE, OU EN FACE, POUR ME RENDRE À
PEEK-A-PEEK-A-DELEE?" (_Piccadilly._)]
[Illustration: No. VII.--_HOTELS ARE QUITE FULL._
_Waterman._ "VAT TIME WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR HOT WATER, SIR?"]
[Illustration: No. VIII.--_AWFUL RESULT OF GIVING A SEASON TICKET TO
YOUR WIFE._
_Mary._ "PLEASE, SIR, COOK'S GONE OUT FOR A HOLIDAY; AND MISSUS DIDN'T
SAY NOTHING ABOUT NO DINNER, SIR. MISSUS WENT EARLY TO THE EXHIBITION
WITH SOME LUNCH IN A BASKET, AND SAID SHE SHOULDN'T BE HOME UNTIL TEA
TIME."]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. IX.--_THE LOOKING-GLASS DEPARTMENT._]
[Illustration: No. X.--_A DELICATE ATTENTION._
AN OLD GENTLEMAN, ANXIOUS THAT HIS WIFE SHOULD POSSESS SOME TRIFLE FROM
THE GREAT EXHIBITION, PURCHASES (AMONGST OTHER THINGS) THE STUFFED
ELEPHANT, AND THE MODEL OF THE DODO.]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. XI.--_NEW FASHIONS._
_Hatter._ "YOU COULDN'T HAVE A MORE BECOMING HAT, SIR--AND THEY'LL BE A
GREAT DEAL WORN AT THE OPENING OF THE EXHIBITION."]
[Illustration: No. XII.--_SINCERE GRIEF AT THE DESTRUCTION OF THE
CRYSTAL PALACE._
_Omnibus Man._ "OH, WHAT A HORRID SHAME TO PULL DOWN SUCH A
B-B-B-BE-AUTIFUL B-B-B-UILDING!"]
[Illustration: No. XIII.--_THE LADIES AND THE POLICE--THE BATTLE OF THE
CRYSTAL PALACE._]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. XIV.--_AN INTERESTING COUPLE._
THEY CAN'T THINK WHERE MAMMA CAN HAVE GOT TO--THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING
FOR HER EVERYWHERE.
[_N.B. The most remote Refreshment-room selected._]
[Illustration: No. XV.--_REFRESHMENT ROOM._
_Visitor._ "PINT O' BEER, MISS, PLEASE."
_Miss._ "DON'T KEEP IT. YOU CAN HAVE A STRAWBERRY ICE AND A WAFER."]
[Illustration: No. XVI.--_THE NORTH-AMERICAN LODGERS IN 1851._]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. XVII.
_PERFIDIOUS ALBION LETS HIS DRAWING-ROOM FLOOR TO A DISTINGUISHED
FOREIGNER.--THE RESULT._]
[Illustration: No. XVIII.--_DINING-ROOMS._
_Waiter (to Chinaman)._ "VERY NICE BIRD'S-NEST SOUP, SIR?--YES,
SIR!--RAT PIE, SIR, JUST UP--YES, SIR!--AND A NICE LITTLE DOG TO
FOLLER--YES, SIR!"]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. XIX.
HERE YOU HAVE A REPRESENTATION OF THAT NOBLE CHARACTER, THE
BRITISH MERCHANT, TAKING LEAVE OF HIS SENSES--AND HIS BUSINESS--TO
LOUNGE ABOUT THE CRYSTAL PALACE.]
[Illustration: No. XX.
THE TRADESMAN AT THE WEST END IS OBLIGED TO GIVE UP HIS TRADE,
AND BREED POULTRY.]
[Illustration: No. XXI.
_BRITANNIA HAS THE INDUSTRY OF ALL-THE-WORLD AND HIS WIFE, TO SPEND
A FEW MONTHS WITH HER._]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. XXII.
_THE CRUSH ROOM AT THE OPERA.--"MR. CHAWBACON'S CART STOPS THE WAY!_"]
[Illustration: No. XXIII.
_MR. CHAWBACON "COMING DOWN."_]
[Illustration: No. XXIV.
_FANCY PORTRAIT OF THE GENTLEMAN WHO HAS BEEN HONOURABLY
=MENTIONED= BY PRINCE ALBERT!_
"HONOURABLY MENTIONED, INDEED! IS THAT ALL? SCANDALOUS!"]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.
[Illustration: No. XXV.
_DINNER-TIME AT THE CRYSTAL PALACE._]
MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION--1851.
[Illustration: No. XXV.
_THE GREAT DERBY RACE FOR EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE._]
[Illustration: _FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS._
_Assiduous Young Curate._ "WELL, THEN, I DO HOPE I SHALL HAVE THE
PLEASURE OF SEEING BOTH OF YOU NEXT SUNDAY!"
_Miner._ "OI, THEE MAY'ST COAM IF 'E WULL. WE FOIGHT ON THE CROFT, AND
OLD JOE TANNER BRINGS TH' BEER."]
[Illustration: _WHAT WILL HE DO WITH THEM?_
_Youthful Costermonger._ "NOW THEN, GUV'NER, 'AVE THE LAST ROPE FOR
A PENNY!"]
[Illustration: _RAILWAY MISERIES._
_Porter._ "IS THIS YOUR LUGGAGE, SIR?"
_Piscator._ "CONFOUND IT, NO! WE WANT SOME FISHING-RODS, A CAN OF
LIVE-BAIT, AND A HAMPER."
_Porter._ "OH--DO YOU, SIR? WHY, THEY'RE GONE ON TO BRISTOL."]
[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE
MISSUSES?_--No. VIII.
_Cook._ "WELL, TO BE SURE, MUM! LAST PLACE I WERE IN, MISSIS ALWAYS
KNOCKED AT THE DOOR AFORE SHE COME INTO MY KITCHEN!!"]
[Illustration: _THE ST. BERNARD MASTIFF. A HAPPY DOG--RATHER!_]
[Illustration: _PRUDENCE AND IMPRUDENCE._
_Old Gentleman._ "A VERY NASTY JUMP, THAT! I SHALL GO ROUND BY
SHUFFLER'S BOTTOM."
_Juvenile._ "COME ALONG, OLD MAN! FOLLOW ME, AND I'LL SHOW YOU ALL THE
SPORT."
[_Exit_ YOUNG HOPEFUL _over the palings_.]
[Illustration: _COUNTRY RACES._
GENTLEMEN RIDERS, WHO ARE SO LIKE PROFESSIONAL JOCKS, YOU CAN HARDLY
TELL THE DIFFERENCE!]
[Illustration: _FRIENDLY, BUT VERY UNPLEASANT._
_Lively Party_ (_charging_ ELDERLY GENTLEMAN _with his umbrella_).
"HULLO, JONES!"
[_Disgust of_ ELDERLY PARTY, _whose name is_ SMITH.]
[Illustration: _AN EASY FORECAST._
_Gipsy._ "HAVE YOUR FORTUNE TOLD, MY PRETTY GENTLEMAN?"
_Pretty Gent._ "OH! LAWK! DON'T MENTION IT!"]
[Illustration: _GOING OUT ARRESTING._
"VELL, AARON, MY TEAR, 'AVE YER 'AD ANY SPORT?"
"PRETTY VELL. I'VE BAGGED FOUR ALLOTTEES AND TWO PROVISIONALS."]
[Illustration: _A GREAT MISFORTUNE._
_First Juvenile (in Cab)._ "WELL, CHARLEY, HAVE YOU HAD IT OUT WITH THE
OLD BOY?"
_Second Juvenile._ "YA--AS; AND--AW--WHAT DO YOU THINK THE UNDUTIFUL
OLD GOVERNOR SA--AYS?"
_First Juvenile._ "HAVEN'T THE LEAST ID--EAW."
_Second Juvenile._ "WHY, HE SA--AYS I MUST DO SOMETHING TO GET MY OWN
LIVING!"
_First Juvenile._ "OH LAW! WHAT A HORRID BAW!"]
[Illustration: _WHERE IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS._
_Engineer._ "DON'T BE ALARMED, MA'AM, IT'S ONLY A DUMPY LEVELLER."
_Old Lady._ "LAW! DEAR NOW! WELL, I'M SURE I THOUGHT IT WAS A
BLUNDERBUST. BUT DON'T FIRE IT OFF, YOUNG MAN, TILL I'M GOT BY, FOR I
WAS ALWAYS TERRIBLE FEARED OF GUNS."]
[Illustration: _MARCH OF LUXURY._
_Customer._ "HI! JAMES."
_Potboy._ "NOW THEN, WHAT IS IT?"
_Customer._ "JUST POP MY ARF-AN-ARF IN THE HICE FOR A MINIT. THAT'S A
GOOD LAD."]
[Illustration: _COMPLIMENTS._
_First Cabby (who is run up against)._ "NOW, THEN! 'VHERE DID YOU PICK
UP THAT OLD STRAWBERRY POTTLE YOU CALLS A CAB?"
_Second Cabby (who retorts)._ "SAME PLACE WHERE YER FOUND THAT BIT OF
OLD RAG YER CALLS A 'ORSE."]
[Illustration: _VISIT TO THE ANTEDILUVIAN REPTILES AT SYDENHAM--MASTER
TOM STRONGLY OBJECTS TO HAVING HIS MIND IMPROVED._]
[Illustration: _A HORRIBLE IDEA._
_First Languid Swell._ "GOOD GWACIOUS, ALFRED! ARE YOU ILL?"
_Second ditto, ditto (gasping)._ "ILL! AW! YES! NO! I SHALL BE
ALL RIGHT DIRECTLY. BUT--I--CONFESS--THE--SIGHT OF THAT FEMALE'S
UMBRELLAW--COMPLETELY--FLAWED ME--MY DEAR CHARLES--CONCEIVE BEING
OBLIGED TO CARRY--BUT NO, THE THOUGHT IS--TOO HORRIBLE!"
[_They shudder, and walk on._]
[Illustration: _FINE BUSINESS, INDEED! THE WRETCH!_
_Master of the House._ "OH! MARY! WHAT IS THERE FOR DINNER TO-DAY?"
_Mary._ "I THINK, SIR, IT'S COLD MUTTON, SIR."
_Master of the House._ "H'M!--OH! TELL YOUR MISTRESS, WHEN SHE COMES
IN, THAT I MAY POSSIBLY BE DETAINED IN THE CITY ON BUSINESS, AND SHE IS
ON NO ACCOUNT TO WAIT DINNER FOR ME."]
[Illustration: _THE SEA-SIDE HAT--A HINT TO MATERFAMILIAS._]
[Illustration: _A FRESH MORNING._]
[Illustration: _IMPUDENCE._
_Horse Guard._ "NOW, YOU BOY! YOU MUSN'T HANG ABOUT HERE."
_Boy._ "OH! YES, MR. HANGABOUT. I SUPPOSE I MAY SET MY WATCH BY YOUR
CLOCK, AS WELL AS ANY OTHER GENT."]
[Illustration: _GORGEOUS SPECTACLE._
_Sarah Jane._ "OH, BETSY, COME 'ERE, AND BRING HISABELLER! WE CAN SEE
THE 'OOFS OF THE 'ORSES!!"]
[Illustration: _NATIVE POLITENESS._
_Boy (to be-witch-ing Old Lady of Fashion)._ "WAS YOU A LOOKING FOR A
BROOM, MARM?"]
[Illustration: "_YOUTH AT THE PROW, AND PLEASURE AT THE HELM._"
"THE HAPPY PAIR THEN STARTED FOR THE CONTINENT, VIA FOLKESTONE, TO
SPEND THE HONEYMOON."]
[Illustration: _VERY ACCOMMODATING._
_Cabman._ "WANT A CAB, SIR? TAKE YER ANYVERE, ANY DISTANCE, ANY PRICE,
AND WHEN YER PLEASE. TROT YER DOWN TO VITECHAPEL OR 'ACKNEY, OR SPIN
YER ALONG LIKE ONE O'CLOCK TO HEGHAM, STAINES, OR WINDSOR."]
[Illustration: _PROBABLE RESULT OF THE COCHIN CHINA FOWL MANIA._]
[Illustration: _TOO POPULAR BY HALF._
_Boy (singing)._ "LOVER-LY LUCY NEAL, OH LOVER-LY LUCY NEAL, HIF I 'AD
YOU BY MY SI-I-HIDE, 'OW 'APPY I SHOULD FEEL!"]
[Illustration: _TASTE IN THE DRAWING-ROOM.--VILLIKINS AND HIS DINAH._
_Young Lady (who ought to know better)._ "NOW, WILLIAM, YOU ARE NOT LOW
ENOUGH YET. BEGIN AGAIN AT 'HE TOOK THE COLD PIZEN.'"]
[Illustration: _THE BATTLE OF THE PIANOS._]
[Illustration: _FAMILIARITY._
"NOW, THEN, THOMAS, TELL YOUR OLD MAN TO PULL ON A PEG, AND LET ME GET
UP TO MY PAWNBROKER'S!"]
[Illustration: _APPROPRIATE._
_First Citizen._ "I SAY, BILL--I WONDER WHAT HE CALLS HISSELF?"
_Second Ditto._ "BLOWED IF I KNOW!--BUT I CALLS HIM A BLOATED
HARISTOCRAT."]
[Illustration: _MIGHT VERSUS RIGHT._
_Navigator._ "WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?"
_Policeman._ "WHY, I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE STATION HOUSE, IF YOU DON'T
MOVE ON."
_Navigator._ "_YOU_ TAKE ME TO THE STATION-HOUSE? TEN ON YOU MIGHT!"]
[Illustration: _A HANSOM OFFER._
_Cabman (condescendingly)._ "HAMPSTEAD! LET'S SEE--THE FARE'S ABOUT
NINE BOB, AS NEAR AS MAY BE; BUT, AS I WANT A DRIVE IN THE FRESH HAIR
MYSELF, SUPPOSE WE SAY THREE 'ARF CROWNS?"]
[Illustration: _POULTRY FANCIES.--THE PETS._
_Old Lady._ "WELL, HE _HAS_ GROWN; AND, REALLY, I THINK HE MIGHT LEAVE
OFF THOSE FROCKS, AND HAVE A SUIT OF CLOTHES LIKE HIS BROTHERS."]
[Illustration: _TRAVELLERS' REQUISITES._
_Railway Porter._ "ANY LUGGAGE, SIR?"
_Traveller._ "YAS--CARPET-BAG AND CIGAR-CASE."]
[Illustration: _MOST DISTRESSING._
POOR STUBBS!--JUST AS HE MEETS THOSE NICE GIRLS HE ADMIRED SO AT M.'S
PARTY, AN ENORMOUS BLACK SETTLES ON HIS NOSE. HE LOSES ALL PRESENCE OF
MIND.]
[Illustration: _HOW TO FLATTER A GENT._
_Mr. Noses._ "GOT ANY OLD CLOTHES, SIR? (_whispers_) ANY LEFT-OFF
UNIFORMS, CAPTAIN?"]
[Illustration: _EDUCATIONAL MOVEMENT._
_Man of Refinement._ "NOW DON'T, MY GOOD MAN--PRAY DON'T!--I KNOW WHAT
YOU ARE GOING TO SAY. YOU ARE GOING TO SAY 'YA!--HA!--SPARRERGRASS.' DO
ALLOW ME TO PERSUADE YOU TO CALL IT ASPARAGUS--AND HERE IS SIXPENCE FOR
YOU."]
[Illustration: _AN EXCITED NIMROD_,
HAVING BEEN THROWN OUT, IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE HAS COME UP
WITH SOME OF THE TAIL HOUNDS--"HUIC FOR-R-A-D-E--FOR-R-A-A-D THEN!"
[_Great demonstration of disgust on the part of Old Gentleman
out shooting_.]
[Illustration: _FLY-FISHING._
MR. BUNGLE ALWAYS MAKES HIS FLIES ON THE BANK OF THE STREAM. HERE IS
ONE OF HIS MOST SUCCESSFUL EFFORTS.]
[Illustration: _"ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE," &c._
_Young Lady (whose birthday it is)._ "OH, YES! I HAVE HAD A GREAT
NUMBER OF NICE PRESENTS; BUT I WONDER WHO SENT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL
BOUQUET?"
_Handsome Party (with moustaches, presence of mind, and great
expression of eye)._ "AND CAN'T YOU GUESS?" (_Sighs deeply._)
[_N.B. Poor_ BINKS, _who was at all the trouble and expense of
getting the said bouquet from Covent Garden, is supposed to be
watching the effect of his gift with some anxiety._]
[Illustration: _PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING._
THE INTELLIGENT READER IS REQUESTED TO IMAGINE THAT THE GATES IN THE
ABOVE CARTOON HAVE JUST BEEN THOROUGHLY CLEANED, AND FRESH PAINTED.
ON HIS RETURN FROM THE CITY, MR. BRIGGS FINDS THAT RUDE BOYS (TOTALLY
REGARDLESS OF HIS FEELINGS) HAVE BEEN FARTHER DECORATING THEM.]
[Illustration: _WHAT'S THE MATTER?_
MAN IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TAKEN THE WRONG TURNING--THAT'S ALL!]
[Illustration: _A ROUGH COUNTRY._
_Boy._ "NOA, SIR! THERE AIN'T NO OTHER GATE OUT O' THIS VIELD, YOU MUST
FOLLER THAT GENTLEMAN ON THE GRAY HORSE."
_Fox Hunter._ "WHAT, THAT GENT? OH! THANK YER!"]
[Illustration: _SUGGESTIVE OF A PICTURESQUE FIGURE._
_Stout Old Gentleman._ "A SHOWER-BATH MAKE YOUR HAIR IN A MESS! NOT A
BIT OF IT, IF YOU WEAR AN OIL-SKIN CAP LIKE THIS, AS I DO."]
[Illustration: _THE RETURN FROM A MASQUERADE._]
[Illustration: _DOUBTFUL._
_Boy._ "COME IN, SIR! YOU'VE NO CALL TO BE AFRAID! I'VE GOT HIM QUITE
TIGHT."]
[Illustration: _A CAUSE FOR REPROOF._
_Lady (severely)._ "JANET, I MUST DESIRE YOU TO GO AT ONCE AND DRESS
YOUR HAIR IN A BECOMING MANNER, AND NOT TO IMITATE ME SO ABSURDLY."]
[Illustration: _AWKWARD CONSEQUENCES OF REMOVING THE SOLDIERS FROM
KNIGHTSBRIDGE._
_Housemaid._ "IF YOU PLEASE 'M, ME, AND COOK, AND MARY, WISHES TO
LEAVE, THIS DAY MONTH, MA'AM."]
[Illustration: _REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES._
_Mary._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, IF YOU'VE DONE WITH THE INK, WILL YOU LET
WILLIAM HAVE IT TO CLEAN YOUR BOOTS? BECAUSE IT'S ALL THE BLACKING
WE'VE GOT IN THE HOUSE."]
[Illustration: _THE CONSTITUTIONAL WALK._
_Lady._ "DEAR, DEAR, IT'S COMING ON TO RAIN! RUN, JAMES! QUICK, AND
FETCH AN UMBRELLA, AND TWO PARASOLS. I'M AFRAID MY POOR DEAR COCHINS
WILL GET THE RHEUMATISM."]
[Illustration: _THE DOCILE HUSBAND._]
[Illustration: _A MAN OF OPINION._
_M.P._ "DID YOU SEE THIS ADMIRABLE SUGGESTION IN THE PAPER, TO PULL
DOWN THE TEMPLE BAR?"
_Swell._ "PULL DOWN THE TEMPLE BAR! A MOST EARNESTLY HOPE NOT--WHY,
GOOD GWACIOUS! IT'S THE PWINCIPAL BARWIER BETWEEN US AND THE HORWID
CITY!"]
[Illustration: _JEALOUSY._
_Chorus (of Nice Young Ladies)._ "OH! OF ALL AND OF ALL I NEVER! ISN'T
IT THE DARLINGIST, SWEETEST, PRETTIEST, LITTLE DEAR DARLING DARLING!
OH! DID YOU EVER!!"
_Solo (by horrid plain-spoken Boy)._ "H'M! I THINK IT'S A NASTY, UGLY
LITTLE BEAST, FOR ALL THE WORLD LIKE A CAT OR A MONKEY."
[_Sensation._]
[Illustration: _A NICE TEAM._]
[Illustration: _A BRILLIANT IDEA._
_Matilda._ "OH, LOOK YE HERE, TOMMY! S'POSE WE PLAY AT YOUR BEING
THE BIG FOOTMAN, AND ME AND LIZZERBUTH'LL BE THE FINE LADIES IN THE
CARRIDGE!"]
[Illustration: _AN EXPERIENCED VETERAN._
_Managing Mamma._ "MY GOODNESS, ELLEN, HOW WRETCHEDLY PALE YOU LOOK!
FOR GOODNESS' SAKE BITE YOUR LIPS AND RUB YOUR CHEEKS."]
[Illustration: _EXTREME DELICACY._
_Exquisite in Cab._ "AW--BE KIND ENOUGH, IF YOU PLEASE, TO
FETCH--AW--AN--AW--UMBRELLAW, AND HOLD IT OV-AW ME WHILE I--AW--GET
OUT."]
[Illustration: _THE WELLINGTON STATUE._
AWFUL APPARITION TO A GENTLEMAN WHILST SHAVING, IN THE EDGEWARE ROAD.]
[Illustration: _THE POULTRY MANIA._
_Miss ----._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, EMILY. WHAT HORRID FRIGHTS!"
_Emily._ "FRIGHTS? MY DEAR? WHY THEY ARE LOVELY COCHIN CHINA FOWLS, AND
WORTH--OH! EVER SO MUCH."]
[Illustration: _COMPLIMENTARY._
_Bus Driver._ "NOW THEN, OUT OF THE WAY, YOU TWO!"]
[Illustration: _AN INQUIRING MIND._
_Omnibus Driver._ "REELY NOW! AND SO THE 'LECTRIC FLUID TAKES A MESSAGE
BETWEEN DOVER AND CALAIS. (_Inquiringly._) PRAY, SIR, WOT'S IT LIKE? IS
IT ANYTHING LIKE BEER, FOR EXAMPLE?"]
[Illustration: _SOMETIMES YOU "PICK UP" HUNTERS FOR NEXT TO NOTHING._
_Dealer._ "THERE NOW! YOU WANT A HUNTER. THERE HE IS. HE'S QUIET,
WELL-BRED, AND LAW! WITH YOUR WEIGHT, HE'S UP TO ANY HOUNDS, AND AN
_UNCOMMON_ CLEVER FENCER!"
_Sporting Gent._ "OH! COME NOW! THAT _WON'T_ DO. I'VE HEARD OF A 'ORSE
DANCING; BUT I'M NOT SO JOLLY GREEN AS TO BELIEVE A 'ORSE CAN FENCE,
YOU KNOW!"]
[Illustration: _A LUCID EXPLANATION._
_Passenger._ "SIXPENCE! WHY, IT'S MARKED UP THREEPENCE!"
_Conductor._ "YES, SIR. THREPPUNSE WHEN YOU DON'T GET IN BETWEEN
CHARING CROSS AND THE BANK, OR FROM TUESDAYS TO MILE END DOWN TO
THE GATE BY UNGERFOD, OR EDGER ROAD TO BLACK LION LANE OR RATHBONE
PLACE AND BLACKWALL RAILWAY--OR ELSE YOU MUST GET OUT AT ST. PAUL'S
CHURCHYARD, OR YOU CAN GO TO PIMLICO ALL THE WAY IF YOU LIKE--BEYOND
THAT DISTANCE--IT'S SIXPUNSE!"]
[Illustration: _PERFECT SINCERITY, OR THINKINGS ALOUD._--No. IV.
_Genius._ "BY THE WAY, DID YOU GLANCE OVER THAT ARTICLE OF MINE ON 'THE
INTELLECT OF WOMAN, AND HER SOCIAL POSITION?' I DON'T CARE TWOPENCE
ABOUT YOUR OPINION; ONLY IF YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING FAVOURABLE OF COURSE
I SHALL BE PLEASED."
_Common Sense._ "WHY, I TRIED IT, BUT UPON MY LIFE I FOUND IT SUCH
CONTEMPTIBLE RUBBISH, THAT I COULDN'T GET ON: AND, TO TELL YOU THE
TRUTH, I THINK THAT A SNUG LITTLE THING IN THE CHEESEMONGERING LINE
WOULD BE MORE IN YOUR WAY THAN LITERATURE."
_Genius._ "AH! YOU MUST BE A FOOL!"]