[Transcriber's Note:
Italized text delinminated with underscores (_).
There are a few instances of larger font size words, these are delimited
with plus signs (+).]
JOHN LEECH'S
PICTURES OF LIFE AND CHARACTER.
[Illustration]
FROM THE COLLECTION OF
"Mr. Punch."
[Illustration:
Yours Faithfully
John Leech]
JOHN LEECH'S
PICTURES
OF LIFE AND
CHARACTER
[Illustration]
From the Collection of "MR. PUNCH."]
LONDON:
BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., 8, 9, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, E.C.
1886.
LONDON:
BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS
JOHN LEECH'S PICTURES
[Illustration]
OF
LIFE AND CHARACTER.
[Illustration: _A LATE ARRIVAL._
_Page._ "FANCY BALL, SIR! NO, SIR! MISSUS'S FANCY BALL, SIR, WERE LAST
TOOSDAY, SIR."
[Illustration: _SNUFFED OUT._
"MY EYE, TOMMY! IF 'ERE AIN'T THE SCOTCHMAN HOUT OF THE SNUFF SHOP A
TAKIN' A WALK."]
[Illustration: _THE TEST OF GALLANTRY._
_Conductor._ "WILL ANY GENT BE SO GOOD AS FOR TO TAKE THIS YOUNG LADY
IN HIS LAP?"]
[Illustration: _ENCOURAGING._
_Old Gentleman._ "I WANT SOME SHAVING SOAP, MY GOOD LAD."
_Boy._ "YES, SIR, HERE'S AN HARTICLE I CAN RECOMMEND, FOR I ALWAYS USE
IT MYSELF!"]
[Illustration: _TAKING IT COOLLY._
_Old Gent._ "NOW, THEN, CABMAN, HOW MUCH TO THE STRAND?"
_Cabman._ "SIX SHILLIN'!"
_Old Gent._ "THAT'S TOO MUCH."
_Cabman._ "WELL: WHAT YOU PLEASE! IT'S TOO HOT TO DISPUTE ABOUT
TRIFLES."]
[Illustration: _DID YOU EVER?_
_Old Gentleman (politely)._ "OH, CONDUCTOR! I SHALL FEEL GREATLY
OBLIGED TO YOU IF YOU WOULD PROCEED, FOR I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT IN THE
STRAND, AND I AM AFRAID I SHALL BE TOO LATE."
_Conductor (slamming the door)._ "GO ON, JIM! HERE'S AN OLD COVE A
CUSSIN AND A SWEARING LIKE ANY THINK!!!]
[Illustration: _WHAT THEY SAID TO THEMSELVES._
_Honourable Mr. Fiddle._ "I WISH THAT CONCEITED ASS, FADDLE, WOULD GO!"
_Captain Faddle._ "THAT STUPID IDIOT, FIDDLE, NEVER KNOWS WHEN HE'S IN
THE WAY!"
_Rich Widow._ "I SHALL BE UNCOMMONLY GLAD WHEN BOTH OF THESE SIMPLETONS
TAKE THEIR DEPARTURE."]
[Illustration: _PROPRIETY._
PERSONS REPRESENTED. SARAH-JANE. MATILDA.
_Scene--Camblin Town._
_Sarah-Jane._ "OH! YOU 'ORRID DREADFUL STORY! I DIDN'T."
_Matilda._ "YOU DID NOW, FOR I SEE HIM. I SEE HIM KISS YER. AND HERE
HAVE I BIN ENGAGED TO TOMMY PRICE FOR YEARS, AND NEVER SO MUCH AS
WALKED ARM-IN-ARM WITH HIM!"]
[Illustration: _A COURT DRESS._
"OH! JUST AIN'T PEOPLE PROUD WHAT HAVE GOT PAIRASOLES!"]
[Illustration: _A VALUABLE ANIMAL._
_Gentleman (fond of dogs)._ "SAGACIOUS? OH, VERY! WHY, HE NEVER SEES AN
OLD GENTLEMAN, BUT HE PULLS OFF HIS HAT AND RUNS AWAY WITH IT. HE'LL
FETCH A DUCK OFF A POND; AND HE'S SUCH A NOTION OF TAKING CARE OF
HIMSELF THAT HE COSTS ME FULL A GUINEA A WEEK FOR THE LEGS OF MUTTON HE
STEALS."]
[Illustration: _CRUEL!_
_Snob._ "'AVE A CIGAR, COACHEE?"
_Swell Busman._ "NO, THANKEE--I ONLY SMOKE TOBACCER!"]
[Illustration: _FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE._
_Policeman._ "HA! THAT'S THE WAY YOU DRINK THE BEER WHEN YOU'RE SENT OF
A HERRAND?"
_Genius._ "AND THE RIGHT WAY TOO--AIN'T IT?"]
[Illustration: _THE JOYS OF OCEAN._
_Smith._ "WELL, BROWN! THIS IS BETTER THAN BEING STEWED UP IN A
RAILWAY! EH?"
_Brown (faintly)._ "OH--IM-MEASURABLY SU-PERIOR."]
[Illustration: _UNFEELING OBSERVATION._
_Vulgar Little Boy._ "OH, LOOK HERE, BILL! HERE'S A POOR BOY BIN AND
HAD THE HINFLUENZA, AND NOW HE'S BROKE OUT ALL OVER BUTTONS AND RED
STRIPES."]
[Illustration: _IN FOR IT._
"HALLO, SIR! ARE YOU AWARE YOU'RE TRESPASSING THERE?"]
[Illustration: _THE CORRECT MODE OF RIDING IN ROTTEN ROW._
GALLOP AS HARD AS YOU CAN AMONGST THE LADIES. IT CREATES A SENSATION!!]
[Illustration: _A HACK FOR THE DAY._
_Stable-Keeper (to little Gent)._ "SET TO KICKING, AND THEN BOLTED INTO
A SHOP! DID HE, NOW? AH! HE ALWAYS WAS A _LIGHT-'ARTED_ 'OSS."]
[Illustration: _SPORTING EXTRAORDINARY--THE OLD DOG POINTS CAPITALLY._
"I TELL YER WHAT IT IS, SAM! IF THIS FOOL OF A DOG IS GOING TO STAND
STILL LIKE THIS HERE IN EVERY FIELD HE COMES TO, WE MAY AS WELL SHUT UP
SHOP, FOR WE SHAN'T FIND NO PARTRIDGES."]
[Illustration: _THE GREENWICH DINNER.--A CONVIVIAL MOMENT._
_Gentleman (under the influence of White Bait)._ "WELL, OLD
FELLA--REKLECT--PRESHENT COMPANY DINE HERE WITH ME EVERY MONDAY,
THURSDAY, AN' SAT'DY--FRIDAY--NO--TOOSDAY, THURSDAY, AND SAT'DY--MIND
AN' DON' FORGET--I SAY--WHAT A GOOD FELLA YOU ARE--GREATEST 'STEEM AND
REGARD FOR YOU, OLD FELLA!!!"]
[Illustration: _STRONG ASSERTION._
_Omnibus Driver (addressing another)._ "YOU'RE A PRETTY FELLOW, YOU
ARE. YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN? WHY, I'VE SEEN A BETTER MAN THAN YOU MADE
OUT OF TEA-LEAVES!"]
[Illustration: _ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF AND
GOOSEBERRY PIE._
_Little Boy._ "OH, LOR, MAR, I FEEL JUST EXACTLY AS IF MY JACKET WAS
BUTTONED."]
[Illustration: _VERY FINE FRUIT._
_Newspaper Boy (reads)._ "A GENTLEMAN IN THE N-E-I-G-H--NEIGHBOURHOOD
OF----, HAS AT THE PRESENT TIME SEVERAL E-NORMOUS GOOSEBERRIES IN HIS
GARDEN, WHICH MEASURE TEN INCHES IN C-I-R-CIR C-U-M-CUM F-E-R-FER
E-N-C-E-ENCE CIRCUMFERENCE, AND ARE OF THE A-S-AS ASTON ASTONISHING
WEIGHT OF THREE HOUNCES HEACH."
_His Friend._ "OH, WHAT WHOPPERS! WOULDN'T I LIKE A PINT!"]
[Illustration: _A PHILOSOPHER._
_Harriet._ "ST! ST! ST! DEAR ME, NOW, I'VE BROKEN MY COMB, AND ALL MY
BACK HAIR'S COME DOWN. WHAT WITH BRUSHING, AND DRESSING, AND CURLING,
AND ONE THING AND THE OTHER, WHAT A PLAGUE ONE'S HAIR IS TO BE SURE!"
_Young Fellow._ "WELL, HARRIET, WE ARE ALL BOTHERED WITH SOMETHING.
LOOK AT US MEN; WE HAVE TO SHAVE EVERY MORNING, SUMMER AND WINTER!"]
[Illustration: _MATERNAL SOLICITUDE._
_Mamma._ "GEORGINA! GEORGINA!"
_Georgina._ "WELL, MA. HOW YOU DO FIDGET ONE!" _ Mamma._ "SHOULDERS,
MY LOVE; SHOULDERS! PRAY HOLD YOURSELF UP. YOU'RE STOOPING AGAIN
DREADFULLY."]
[Illustration: _ALARMING OCCURRENCE._
_Chorus of Unprotected Females._ "CONDUCTOR! STOP! CONDUCTOR!
OMNIBUS-MAN! HERE'S A GENTLEMAN HAD AN ACCIDENT AND BROKE A JAR OF
LEECHES, AND THEY'RE ALL OVER THE OMNIBUS!"]
[Illustration: _FANCY PORTRAIT._
THE INDIVIDUAL WHO SENDS A FIFTY-POUND NOTE FOR UNPAID INCOME-TAX TO
THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER.]
[Illustration: _VERY FINE TALKING!_
"NOW, THEN, SIR, JUMP UP ON THE ROOF, AND LOOK SHARP, PLEASE, SIR,
HERE'S T'OTHER BUS A-COMING."]
[Illustration: _HOW TO SUIT THE TASTE._
_Waiter._ "GENT IN NO. 4 LIKES A HOLDER AND A THINNER WINE, DOES HE? I
WONDER HOW HE'LL LIKE THIS BIN?"]
[Illustration: _MAKING THE MOST OF IT._]
[Illustration: _AN AFFAIR OF IMPORTANCE._
_Harriet._ "OH! I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE COME, BLANCHE! I'VE BEEN SO
PERPLEXED I COULD SCARCELY SLEEP ALL NIGHT."
_Blanche._ "WELL! WHAT IS IT, DEAR?"
_Harriet._ "WHY, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HAVE MY NEW MERINO FROCK
VIOLET OR DARK BLUE!"]
[Illustration: _A LONDON GENT ABROAD._
_Scene--A Café in Paris._
_London Gent._ "GARCONG! TAS DE CORFEE!"
_Garçon._ "BIEN, M'SIEU'--VOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ZEE 'TIMES'?"
_London Gent._ "HANG THE FELLER! NOW, I WONDER HOW THE DOOSE HE FOUND
OUT I WAS AN ENGLISHMAN!"]
[Illustration: _ROMANCE AND REALITY._
_Beautiful Being (who is all soul)._ "HOW GRAND, HOW SOLEMN, DEAR
FREDERICK, THIS IS! I REALLY THINK THE OCEAN IS MORE BEAUTIFUL UNDER
THIS ASPECT THAN UNDER ANY OTHER!"
_Frederick (who has about as much poetry in him as a Codfish)._
"HM--AH! YES. PER-WAPS. BY THE WAY, BLANCHE--THERE'S A FELLA SWIMPING.
S'POSE WE ASK HIM IF HE CAN GET US SOME PWAWNS FOR BWEAKFAST TO-MOWAW
MORNING?"]
[Illustration: _SYMPTOMS OF WET WEATHER._
_Tom._ "HOLLO, SAM, WHAT THE JUICE ARE YOU CARRYING OF?"
_Sam._ "'CLARISSA ARLO,' FOR MISSIS."]
[Illustration: _PITY THE SORROWS OF THE POOR POLICE._
"LOR, SOOSAN! HOW'S A FELLER TO EAT MEAT SUCH WEATHER AS THIS? NOW, A
BIT O' PICKLED SALMON AND COWCUMBER, OR A LOBSTER SALAD MIGHT DO."]
[Illustration: _THE DERBY EPIDEMIC._
GENTLEMEN,
OWING TO SUDDEN AND VERY SEVERE INDISPOSITION, I REGRET TO SAY THAT I
SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO ATTEND THE OFFICE TO-DAY. I HOPE, HOWEVER, TO BE
ABLE TO RESUME MY DUTIES TO-MORROW.
I AM, GENTLEMEN,
YOURS VERY OBEDIENTLY,
PHILIP COX.]
[Illustration: _HOW TO GET RID OF A GRATIS PATIENT._
"SO YOU'VE TAKEN ALL YOUR STUFF, AND DON'T FEEL ANY BETTER, EH? WELL,
THEN, WE MUST ALTER THE TREATMENT; YOU MUST GET YOUR HEAD SHAVED; AND
IF YOU WILL CALL HERE TO-MORROW ABOUT ELEVEN, MY PUPIL HERE WILL PUT A
SETON IN THE BACK OF YOUR NECK."]
[Illustration: _THE FISH DINNER._
"THE WHITEBAIT SEEM VERY LARGE, WAITER?"
"YES, SIR; VERY FINE AT PRESENT, SIR."]
[Illustration: _A HIGHLAND GAME IN A LONDON STREET._
PORTRAIT OF THE BOY WHO WON THE PRIZE FOR "PUTTING A STONE" THROUGH A
WINDOW.]
[Illustration: _A QUIET WEED._
_Guard._ "SOME ONE BEEN SMOKING, I THINK?"
_Passenger._ "WHAT! SMOKING! THAT'S VERY REPREHENSIBLE. PERHAPS IT WAS
THE CLERICAL GENTLEMAN WHO HAS JUST GOT OUT OF THE NEXT COMPARTMENT."]
[Illustration: _PRODIGIOUS!_
_Schoolmistress._ "YOU SEE, MY LOVE--IF I PUNCTURE THIS INDIA-RUBBER
BALL IT WILL COLLAPSE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
_Child._ "OH, YES, I UNDERSTAND--IF YOU PRICK IT, IT WILL GO SQUASH."]
[Illustration: _BLESS THE BOY!_
_Old Lady._ "NOW, ARTHUR, WHICH WILL YOU HAVE? SOME OF THIS NICE
PUDDING, OR SOME JAM TART?"
_Juvenile._ "NO PASTRY, THANK-YE, AUNT. IT SPOILS ONE'S WINE SO. I
DON'T MIND A DEVILLED BISCUIT, THO', BY-AND-BY, WITH MY CLARET."
(_Old Lady turns all manner of colours._]
[Illustration: _HOOKING AND EYEING._
_Angelina (the Wife of his Bussum)._ "WELL, EDWIN, IF YOU CAN'T MAKE
THE 'THINGS,' AS YOU CALL THEM, MEET, YOU NEED NOT SWEAR SO. IT'S
REALLY QUITE DREADFUL."]
[Illustration: _A GAY YOUNG FELLOW._
_Young Rapid._ "YOU ARE QUITE SURE THIS IS THE CORRECT DRESS FOR A
YOUNG FELLOW OF THAT PERIOD, EH?"
_Mr. Noses._ "OH, PERFECTLY CORRECT, SIR; AND REALLY LOOKS SPLENDID ON
YER!"]
[Illustration: _"DE GUSTIBUS," &c., &c._
_Snip._ "THAT'S A SWEET THING FOR A WAISTCOAT, SIR, AND WOULD LOOK
UNCOMMON WELL UPON YOU, SIR!"]
[Illustration: _JEALOUSY._
_Betrothed (who does not dance the Polka)._ "I SHOULD LIKE TO PUNCH HIS
HEAD--A CONCEITED BEAST!"]
[Illustration: _A BON-BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY._
_Alfred._ "I SAY, FRANK, AREN'T YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME SUPPER?"
_Frank._ "A--NOT AT PRESENT. I SHALL WAIT TILL THE WOMEN LEAVE THE
ROOM."]
[Illustration: _SPECULATORS._
"THIS AIN'T SUCH A WERRY BAD IDEA, IS IT, JIM? HERE'S THE GREAT
DIDDLESEX WRITES TO ME FOR FIVE BOB ON A HUNDRED AN' FIFTY SHARES; AND,
TO SAVE TROUBLE, VANTS THE NAME OF MY SOLICITUR."]
[Illustration: _A PROFESSIONAL MAN._
_Medical Student._ "WELL, OLD FELLOW, SO YOU'VE 'PASSED' AT LAST."
_Consulting Surgeon._ "YES; BUT I DON'T GET MUCH PRACTICE,
SOMEHOW--ALTHOUGH I AM NEARLY ALWAYS AT HOME, IN CASE ANY ONE SHOULD
CALL."]
[Illustration: _PUTTING HIS FOOT IN IT._
_Little Hairdresser (mildly)._ "YER 'AIR'S VERY THIN ON THE TOP, SIR."
_Gentleman (of ungovernable temper)._ "MY HAIR THIN ON THE TOP, SIR?
AND WHAT IF IT IS? CONFOUND YOU, YOU PUPPY, DO YOU THINK I CAME HERE TO
BE INSULTED AND TOLD OF MY PERSONAL DEFECTS? I'LL THIN YOUR TOP!!"]
[Illustration: _MERMAIDS AT PLAY; OR, A NICE LITTLE WATER PARTY._]
[Illustration: _COMING TO THE POINT._
_Lover._ "SWEET GIRL, LET ME--HERE--AWAY FROM THE BUSY HUM OF MEN--AND
WHERE NO MORTAL EYE CAN SEE US--DECLARE THAT PASSION WHICH--WHICH--"
_Lady._ "THERE! FOR GOODNESS' SAKE GET UP, MR. TOMKINS, AND DON'T BE
RIDICULOUS--JUST CONSIDER ALL THE TELESCOPES FROM THE PARADE!!"]
[Illustration: _A LITTLE SURPRISE._
_Little Foot Page (unexpectedly)._ "HERE'S SOME GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
SIR."]
[Illustration: _INTERESTING SCENE DURING THE CANVASS FOR MR. ----. NOT
A HUNDRED MILES FROM ----._
_Wife of Free and Independent._ "OH! AIN'T HE A HAFFABLE GENTLEMAN,
TUMMUS?"
_Free and Independent._ "AH! JUST AIN'T 'UN. I SHOULDN'T WONDER IF I
WARN'T ABLE TO PAY MY RENT TO-MORRER!"]
[Illustration: _MURDER WILL OUT._
_Mrs. Smith._ "IS MRS. BROWN IN?"
_Jane._ "NO, MEM, SHE'S NOT AT HOME."
_Little Girl._ "OH! WHAT A HORRID STORY, JANE! MA'S IN THE KITCHEN,
HELPING COOK!"]
[Illustration: _DOING A LITTLE BILL._
"YOU SEE, OLD BOY, IT'S THE MEREST FORM IN THE WORLD. YOU HAVE ONLY
TO--WHAT THEY CALL--ACCEPT IT, AND I'LL FIND THE MONEY WHEN IT COMES
DUE."
_Victim._ "COME ALONG--GIVE US THE PEN."]
[Illustration: _A PLEASANT STREET GAME._
_Old Gent._ "CONFOUND THE BOYS AND THEIR TOPS! WHERE ARE THE POLICE?"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. I.
THE COOK SAYS THAT SHE THINKS THERE'S A SLATE LOOSE ON THE ROOF OF
THE HOUSE, FOR THE WATER COMES INTO THE SERVANTS' BEDROOM. MR. BRIGGS
REPLIES THAT THE SOONER IT IS PUT TO RIGHTS THE BETTER, BEFORE IT GOES
ANY FURTHER--AND HE WILL SEE ABOUT IT.]
[Illustration: No. II.
MR. BRIGGS HAVING BEEN TOLD BY THE BUILDER THAT A "LITTLE COMPO" IS
ALL THAT IS WANTED, THE FIRST STEP IS TAKEN TOWARDS MAKING THINGS
COMFORTABLE.]
[Illustration: _HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS._
MASTER JACKEY HAVING SEEN A "PROFESSOR" OF POSTURING, HAS A PRIVATE
PERFORMANCE OF HIS OWN IN THE NURSERY.]
[Illustration: _SOMETHING LIKE A HOLIDAY._
_Pastrycook._ "WHAT HAVE YOU HAD, SIR?"
_Boy._ "I'VE HAD TWO JELLIES, SEVEN OF THEM, AND ELEVEN OF THEM, AND
SIX OF THOSE, AND FOUR BATH BUNS, A SAUSAGE ROLL, TEN ALMOND CAKES, AND
A BOTTLE OF GINGER BEER."]
[Illustration: _GREAT WANT OF VENERATION._
_Puer loquitur._ "I SAY LOBSTER, SHALL I GO AND FETCH YOU A CAB?"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. III.]
[Illustration: No. IV.
NO TIME HAS BEEN LOST. MR. BRIGGS FINDS, ON GETTING OUT OF BED AT FIVE
A.M. THAT THE WORKPEOPLE HAVE ALREADY COMMENCED PUTTING THE ROOF TO
RIGHTS.]
[Illustration: _DOMESTIC BLISS._
_Paterfamilias._ "I CANNOT CONCEIVE, MY LOVE, _WHAT_ IS THE MATTER WITH
MY WATCH; I THINK IT MUST WANT CLEANING."
_Pet Child._ "OH, NO! PAPA DEAR! I DON'T THINK IT WANTS CLEANING,
BECAUSE BABY AND I HAD IT WASHING IN THE BASIN FOR EVER SO LONG THIS
MORNING!"]
[Illustration: _THE FASHIONS._
A FRIENDLY HINT TO YOUNG LADIES WHO WEAR THOSE DEAR DELIGHTFUL BARÈGE
DRESSES. ALWAYS LET THE SLIP (OR WHATEVER THE MYSTERIOUS GARMENT IS
CALLED) BE AS LONG AS THE OUTER DRESS!]
[Illustration: _INNOCENCE._
"OH, SIR! NO, SIR! PLEASE, SIR, IT AIN'T ME, SIR! IT'S THE OTHER BOYS,
SIR!"]
[Illustration: _UNLUCKY._
"VAT'S THE MATTER, EH?"
"OH, THERE'S ALWAYS A SOMETHINK! VY, I'VE BIN AND LEFT MY HOPERA-GLASS
IN A CAB NOW."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. V.
JUST TO SHOW HOW ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER--MR. BRIGGS (WHO HAS COME
OUT ON THE LEADS WHILE THE MEN ARE GONE TO DINNER) IS SHOWN BY THE
BUILDER HOW IT WOULD BE THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD TO "THROW"
HIS PASSAGE INTO HIS DINING ROOM, AND BUILD A NEW ENTRANCE HALL WITH
A SLIGHT CONSERVATORY OVER IT.--TO THE RIGHT OF THE CARTOON IS MRS.
BRIGGS(!) WHO THINKS MR. B. HAS TAKEN LEAVE OF HIS SENSES.]
[Illustration: _EVENING PARTIES._
"BILL, YOU GOES OUT A GOOD DEAL.--TELL US, IS IT THE KERRECT THING TO
TAKE ONE'S 'AT INTO A HEVENING PARTY?"]
[Illustration: _A DELICIOUS MORSEL._
_Jacky._ "HALLO, TOMMY! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?"
_Tommy._ "HOYSTER."
_Jacky._ "OH! GIVE US A BIT."]
[Illustration: _DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS._
_Flunkey._ "APOLLO? HAH! I DESSAY IT'S VERY CHEAP, BUT IT AIN'T MY
IDEER OF A GOOD FIGGER!"]
[Illustration: _OUR NATIONAL DEFENCES._
_Small Briton._ "THE FRENCH INVADE US, INDEED! AND WHAT SHOULD WE BE
ABOUT ALL THE TIME?--WHY, WE SHOULD RISE LIKE ONE MAN!"]
[Illustration: _GENTEEL PRACTICE._
_Apprentice._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, SHALL I FILL UP MRS. TWADDLE'S
DRAUGHTS WITH WATER?"
_Practitioner._ "DEAR, DEAR ME, MR. BUMPS, HOW OFTEN MUST I MENTION THE
SUBJECT? WE NEVER USE WATER--_Aqua destillata_, IF YOU PLEASE!"]
[Illustration: _THE GOOD LITTLE BOY._
_Bathing Woman._ "MASTER FRANKY WOULDN'T CRY! NO! NOT HE!--HE'LL COME
TO HIS MARTHA, AND BATHE LIKE A MAN!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. VI.
TABLEAU, REPRESENTING FURTHER IMPROVEMENTS IN MR. BRIGGS'S
HOUSE--DESTRUCTION OF THE WALL WHICH SEPARATES THE PARLOUR FROM THE
PASSAGE.
(_N.B.--As the wall is only lath and plaster, of course little or no
mess is made. Mrs. Briggs says she hopes Mr. B. is satisfied now._)]
[Illustration: _BITTER SARCASM._]
[Illustration: _MAL-APROPOS._
_Gentleman (in Shower-Bath)._ "HOLLO! HOLLO! WHO'S THERE? WHAT THE
DEUCE DO YOU WANT?"
_Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, HERE'S THE BUTCHER, AND MISSUS SAYS WHAT
WILL YOU HAVE FOR DINNER TO-DAY?"]
[Illustration: _WE ALL HAVE OUR TROUBLES._
_Sister Mary._ "WHY, CHARLEY, DEAR BOY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU SEEM
QUITE MISERABLE!"
_Charley._ "AH! AIN'T I JUST! HERE'S MA' SAYS I MUST WEAR TURN-DOWN
COLLARS TILL CHRISTMAS, AND THERE'S YOUNG SIDNEY BOWLER (WHO'S NOT HALF
SO TALL AS I AM) HAS HAD STICK-UPS AND WHITE CHOKERS FOR EVER SO LONG!"]
[Illustration: _THE RULING PASSION._
"NOW, TELL ME, DEAR, IS THERE ANYTHING NEW IN THE FASHIONS?"]
[Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE WARM BATHING._
"HOLLO! HI! HERE! SOMEBODY! I'VE TURNED ON THE HOT WATER, AND I CAN'T
TURN IT OFF AGAIN!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. VII.
_Scene: Principal barricade at Mr. Briggs's House._--OWING TO THE
INCOMPLETE STATE OF THE ALTERATIONS, MR. BRIGGS IS OBLIGED TO ENTER
HIS HOUSE THROUGH THE PARLOUR WINDOW. THE POLICEMAN MISTAKES HIM FOR A
BURGLAR, AND ACTS ACCORDINGLY. IN MR. BRIGGS'S HAND MAY BE OBSERVED A
FINE LOBSTER, WHICH HE HAS BROUGHT HOME TO CONCILIATE MRS. B.]
[Illustration: _THE TROOPS AND THE WEATHER._]
[Illustration: _PROPER PRIDE._
A SKETCH AT A RAILWAY STATION.]
[Illustration: _JUST THE MAN._
"PLEASE, SIR, DID YOU WANT ANYBODY TO KEEP ORDER ON THESE HERE HUSTINGS
ON POLLING DAY?"]
[Illustration: _A REGULAR CUSTOMER._
"HA'PENNY CANDLE, PLEASE, AND BE QUICK, FOR MOTHER WANTS HER TEA."
"OH, YES, OF COURSE, MISS; COULD WE SEND IT ANYWHERE FOR YER?"]
[Illustration: _ALARMING INTELLIGENCE._
_Swell Mobsman (reads)._ "'ARRANGEMENTS ARE MAKING TO CONNECT ALL THE
POLICE OFFICES WITH THE ELECTRIC TELEGRAPH.' WELL, I HAM BLOWED!"]
[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
No. VIII.
SOMEHOW OR OTHER, EVER SINCE THE ALTERATIONS, THE CHIMNEYS HAVE TAKEN
TO SMOKE INTOLERABLY. THE BUILDER IS ASSURING MR. BRIGGS THAT BY SOME
VERY SIMPLE CONTRIVANCE THEY CAN BE EFFECTUALLY CURED.]
[Illustration: _TAKING CHANGE._
_Conductor_. "ALL RIGHT, JIM. PUSH ALONG, I'VE SERVED THE OLD GAL OUT
THIS TIME."
_Old Lady._ "HERE, STOP! CONDUCTOR! I WON'T TAKE CHANGE FOR A
FIVE-SHILLING PIECE IN HALF-PENCE--THAT I WON'T! HERE, POLICE!
CONDUCTOR!" &C.]
[Illustration: _THE INTERESTING STORY._
_First Ticket Porter._ "AND SO, YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALL I KNOWS ABOUT IT."
_Second Ticket Porter._ "WELL! I DON'T KNOW AS EVER I KNOWED A MAN AS
KNOWS AS MUCH AS YOU KNOWS."]
[Illustration: _MUCH TOO CONSIDERATE._
_Robinson._ "THERE, BROWN, MY BOY, THAT'S AS FINE A GLASS OF WINE AS
YOU CAN GET ANYWHERE."
_Mrs. Brown._ "A-HEM! AUGUSTUS, MY DE-AR. YOU ARE SURELY NEVER GOING TO
TAKE PORT WINE? YOU KNOW IT NEVER AGREES WITH YOU, MY LOVE!"]
[Illustration: _GALLANTRY._]
[Illustration: _LA MODE._
_Gus (who is always so full of his nonsense)._ "DASH MY BUTTONS,
ELLEN! THAT'S A STUNNING WAISTCOAT. I WISH YOU'D GIVE US YOUR TAILOR'S
ADDRESS."
_Ellen._ "DON'T YOU BE RUDE, SIR--AND TAKE YOUR ARMS OFF THE PIANO."]
[Illustration: _A FASHION IN PINS._
"A PIN FOR YOUR SCARF, SIR? HERE'S AN ARTICLE WE HAVE SOLD A GREAT MANY
OF."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. IX.
ENVELOPE CONTAINING THE BUILDER'S LITTLE ACCOUNT AGAINST MR.
BRIGGS--MUCH TOO SERIOUS TO JEST UPON.]
[Illustration: No. X.
THE UNSETTLED STATE OF THE HOUSE FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS HAS SO
DISORDERED BRIGGS, THAT HIS MEDICAL ADVISER RECOMMENDS A LITTLE HORSE
EXERCISE BY WAY OF A CHANGE, AND HIS EQUESTRIAN PLEASURES BEGIN.]
[Illustration: _SOMETHING LIKE A BROTHER._
_Flora._ "THAT'S A VERY PRETTY WAISTCOAT, EMILY!"
_Emily._ "YES, DEAR. IT BELONGS TO MY BROTHER CHARLES. WHEN HE GOES OUT
OF TOWN HE PUTS ME ON THE FREE-LIST, AS HE CALLS IT, OF HIS WARDROBE.
ISN'T IT KIND?"]"
[Illustration: _A DUMB WAITER._
_Old Gentleman._ "WHAT THE DEUCE IS THE REASON, SIR, YOU DON'T ANSWER
WHEN YOU ARE CALLED?"
(The reason is obvious. The poor child has his mouth full of green peas
and jam tart.)]
[Illustration: _THE LOST ONE._
_Boy._ "IF YOU PLEASE, M', WAS YOU A LOOKING FOR A LITTLE DOG?"
_Young Ladies._ "YES! OH, YES!"
_Boy._ "WAS IT A SPANNEL, MUM?"
_Young Ladies_. "OH, YES! A MOST BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SPANIEL, WITH VERY
LONG EARS."
_Boy._ "AH, THEN, MUM, IT'S THE SAME AS FLEW AT MASTER'S BIG DOG HERE,
WOT'S BIN AND SWALLERED OF IT."]
[Illustration: _POP._
APPALLING RESULT OF INCAUTIOUSLY TAKING TOO MUCH SODA TO CORRECT
ACIDITY.]
[Illustration: _REAL ENJOYMENT_.
_Annie._ "GOOD-BYE, DEAR, YOU MUST COME AGAIN SOON, AND SPEND A GOOD
LONG DAY, AND THEN I CAN SHOW YOU ALL MY NEW THINGS."
_Clara._ "OH! THAT WILL BE NICE! GOOD-BYE, DEAR." (_Kiss and exit._)]
[Illustration: _FROM A BEAUTIFUL MINIATURE._]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. I.
_Dealer._ "I SHOULD SAY IT WAS JUST THE HOSS YOU WANT, SIR; ONLY YOU
MUST DECIDE AT ONCE, BECAUSE THERE'S SEVERAL PARTIES VERY SWEET UPON
HIM. HE'S A GENTLEMAN'S HOSS, SIR, AND CARRIES HIS OWN HEAD, SIR!"
_Mr. Briggs._ "BLESS MY HEART!" (_Buys him._)]
[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._
_Clever Juvenile (loq.)._ "SHAKSPEARE? POOH! FOR MY PART I CONSIDER
SHAKSPEARE A MUCH OVER-RATED MAN."]
[Illustration: _AN EXCELLENT WINE._
"THE BEST OF CLARET IS, THAT YOU MAY DRINK ANY (_hic_) QUANTITY YOU
LIKE, WITHOUT FEELING ILL."]
[Illustration: _WHAT IS THIS?_
QUITE A NEW SENSATION FOR THE LUXURIOUS, ON COLD MORNINGS. "USE HOT
WATER, AND LOOK AT YOUR SHOWER-BATH!"]
[Illustration: _DOMESTIC BLISS._
_Time, half-past three; thermometer 30°._
_William._ "WHAT A VIOLENT RINGING THERE IS AT THE STREET-DOOR BELL!"
_Maria._ "OH! I KNOW WHAT IT IS, DEAR. IT'S THE SWEEPS· AND I DARE SAY
THE GIRLS DON'T HEAR. JUST RUN UP AND KNOCK AT THEIR ROOM DOOR."]
[Illustration: _MEN OF BUSINESS._
MONEY.--WANTED FROM £300 TO £400 TO BRING FORWARD AN ARTICLE THAT MUST
IN A FEW YEARS REALISE A HANDSOME FORTUNE TO THE PROPRIETORS. TO ANY
YOUNG MAN WHO IS NOT OF BUSINESS HABITS, WITH THE ABOVE SUM AT COMMAND,
THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR INVESTMENT SELDOM MET WITH. REFERENCES
EXCHANGED.--NO PROFESSED MONEY-LENDER NEED APPLY.]
[Illustration: _ANGLERS HEAR STRANGE THINGS._
_Piscator._ "ARE THERE ANY BARBEL ABOUT HERE, GOV'NOR?"
_Host._ "ANY BARBEL ABOUT HERE!! I SHOULD RAYTHER THINK THERE WAS A
FEW; HERE'S THE PICTUR O' WUN MY LITTLE BOY KETCHED JUST HOPPOSIT."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. II.
_MR. BRIGGS TRIES HIS HORSE._
STRIKING EFFECT ON MEETING ONE OF THOSE NASTY OMNIBUSSES.]
[Illustration: _THE ALDERMAN'S ADVICE TO HIS SON._
_Mr. Gobble._ "YOU SEE, SAM, YOU ARE A WERRY YOUNG MAN: AND WHEN I AM
TOOK AWAY (WHICH, IN THE COMMON COURSE OF EWENTS, CAN'T BE WERRY LONG
FUST), YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF PROPERTY. NOW, I'VE ONLY ONE PIECE
OF ADWICE TO GIVE YOU. IT'S THIS--AND BY ALL MEANS ACT UPON IT:--LAY
DOWN PLENTY OF PORT IN YOUR YOUTH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A GOOD BOTTLE OF
WINE IN YOUR OLD AGE."]
[Illustration: _A JACK TAR._
BACK VIEW OF THE ELEPHANT AT THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS]
[Illustration: _MAY DIFFERENCE OF OPINION NEVER ALTER FRIENDSHIP._
_Dumpy Young Lady._ "WELL, FOR MY PART, MATILDA, I LIKE LONG WAISTS AND
FLOUNCES."]
[Illustration: _THE PROGRESS OF SLANG._
"WHY, WHAT A PRETTY NEW FROCK ALFRED HAS!"
_Prodigy (who picks up everything so readily)._ "AH, AIN'T IT A
STUNNER?"]
[Illustration: _AWFUL OCCURRENCE AT AN EVENING PARTY._
"MY GOODNESS, EMILY! THEY'RE BEGINNING THE QUADRILLE, AND HERE'S ALL MY
'BACK HAIR' COMING DOWN!! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"]
[Illustration: _SKETCH NEAR BURTON CRESCENT._
"OH! WOT A SHAME! THEY'VE BEEN AND SPIKED ALL THE POSTES."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. III.
MR. BRIGGS HAVING PARTED WITH HIS LAD FOR MISCONDUCT, SOME YOUNG MEN
WITHOUT ENCUMBRANCE APPLY TO "LOOK AFTER" HIS HORSE.]
[Illustration: _NEVER SATISFIED._
_Old Gent._ "GOOD GRACIOUS ME! WHAT WITH ORANGE-PEEL AND SLIDES,
THERE'S NO PEACE IN THIS LIFE."]
[Illustration: _A VERY OLD SOLDIER._
"SPARE A COPPER FOR A POOR OLD SOLDIER, MY NOBLE CAPTAIN! SURE IT'S YER
HONOURS FACE I RECOLLECT IN THE PENINSULAR?"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. IV.
MR. BRIGGS, PERSUADED THAT "A GOOD HORSE CAN'T BE A BAD COLOUR," HAS
PURCHASED A SPOTTED AND HIGHLY TRAINED STEED FROM A CIRCUS; BUT THE
WORST OF HIM IS, THAT AMONGST OTHER THINGS, HE HAS BEEN TRAINED TO SIT
DOWN ON HIS HAUNCHES WHEN HE HEARS A BAND PLAY, AND YOU MAY IMAGINE HOW
DISCONCERTED POOR OLD BRIGGS WAS THE FIRST TIME HE DID SO.]
[Illustration: _A PLEASANT STATE OF THINGS._
_Piscator (at the top of his voice)._ "HI--TOM! BRING THE LANDING-NET;
HE'S PULLED ME IN, AND GOT ROUND A POST."]
[Illustration:
HORACE MAYHEW. PERCIVAL LEIGH. RICHD. DOYLE. GILBERT A. A'BECKETT.
JOHN LEECH. RICHD. COBDEN. SIR R. PEEL. PRINCE DE JOINVILLE. SIR JAMES
GRAHAM. LORD GEORGE BENTINCK. DAN. O'CONNELL. GEORGE HUDSON. SHAW
LEFEVRE. (_Speaker._) JENNY LIND. GEN. TOM THUMB. LORD JOHN RUSSELL.
PRINCE ALBERT. GEN. TOM THE QUEEN MARK LEMON. TOM TAYLOR. W. M.
THACKERAY. DOUGLAS JERROLD. DISRAELI. MR. PUNCH. LOUIS PHILIPPE. COL.
SIBTHORP. LORD NORMANBY. LORD BROUGHAM. MEHEMET ALI. EMPEROR OF RUSSIA.
DUKE OF WELLINGTON.
MR. PUNCH'S FANCY BALL.]
[Illustration: _SUBJECT FOR A PICTURE.--IRRITABLE GENTLEMAN DISTURBED
BY A BLUEBOTTLE._]
[Illustration: _RAILWAY LITERATURE._
_Book Stall Keeper._ "BOOK, MA'AM? YES, MA'AM, HERE'S A POPULAR WORK
BY AN EMINENT SURGEON, JUST PUBLISHED, 'BROKEN LEGS, AND HOW TO MEND
THEM;' OR, WOULD YOU LIKE THE LAST NUMBER OF 'THE RAILWAY OPERATOR?'"]
[Illustration: _A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT._
_Bootmaker (with great feeling)._ "OH, NO, SIR! DON'T HAVE NAPOLEONS;
HAVE TOPS, SIR!--YOURS IS A BEAUTIFUL LEG FOR A TOP BOOT, SIR!--(_young
Nimrod is immensely pleased_)--BEAUTIFUL LEG, SIR! SAME SIZE ALL THE
WAY DOWN, SIR!"--(_young Nimrod is immensely disgusted._)]
[Illustration: _LITERAL._
_Young Lady._ "PRAY, CABMAN, ARE YOU ENGAGED?"
_Cabman._ "LOR BLESS YER, MISS, WHY, I'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS SEVEN
YEARS."]
[Illustration: _HALL ALONG OF THEM BETTING OFFICES._
_Betting Flunkey._ "LOST? I BELIEVE YER! AND LOST A HATFULL OF MONEY
ON THE HOAKS, TOO; AND HOW I'M TO SETTLE WITHOUT PARTING WITH MY
JEWELLERY, I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW! AH, MR. BOTTLES, ITS HARD LINES TO
WAIT AT TABLE WITH SUCH CARES AND HANXIETIES."]
[Illustration: _A BRUTAL FELLOW._
_Policeman._ "NOW, MUM! WHAT'S THE MATTER?"
_Injured Female._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MISTER--I WANT TO GIVE MY WRETCH OF A
'USBAND IN CHARGE. HE'S ALLVAYS A KNOCKING OF ME DOWN AND A STAMPIN' ON
ME!"]
[Illustration: _OF COURSE._
"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MASTER'S SENT BACK THE FIRST VOLUME, AND HE SAYS,
WILL YOU BE SO GOOD AS TO LET HIM 'AVE THE SECOND?"]
[Illustration: _ENTER MR. BOTTLES, THE BUTLER._
_Master Fred._ "THERE! THAT'S CAPITAL! STAND STILL, BOTTLES, AND I'LL
SHOW YOU HOW THE CHINESE DO THE KNIFE TRICK AT THE PLAY."
[BOTTLES _is much interested._]
[Illustration: _THE NEW ACT._
_Hansom Cabby._ "H'M! SIXPENCE, YOU HAD BETTER KEEP IT. YOU MAY WANT IT
FOR YOUR WASHING OR SOMETHINK!"]
[Illustration: _DISCERNMENT._
_Clever Child._ "OH! DO LOOK HERE, MAMMA DEAR, SUCH A FUNNY THING! MR.
BOKER'S GOT ANOTHER FOREHEAD AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD."
[BOKER _is delighted_.]
[Illustration: _INNOCENT AND AMUSING LITTLE TRICK FOR LITTLE BOYS._
AN OLD LADY IS CROSSING THE STREET, WHEN A LITTLE BOY SHOUTS OUT--"HI!"
AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE. THE OLD LADY (ALTHOUGH INDEED THERE IS NO REAL
CAUSE FOR ALARM) STARTS, AND BECOMES GREATLY AGITATED, AND IMAGINES
THAT SHE IS RUN OVER BY AN OMNIBUS. THIS IS AN EXCEEDINGLY PLEASANT
TRICK.]
[Illustration: _SOLICITUDE._
_Child (screams and without any stops)._ "HANNER MARIA YER TIRESOME
HAGGERWATIN' LITTLE USSY COME OUT OF THE ROAD DO WITH YER LITTLE
BROTHER DID YER WANT TO BE RUNNED OVER BY OMNIBUSTES AND KILLED DEAD OH
DEAR OH DEAR WHO'D BE A NUSS?"]
[Illustration: _ANOTHER._
THIS IS EQUALLY DIVERTING. A LITTLE BOY RUSHES BY AN OLD GENTLEMAN AND
"YOWLS" LIKE A DOG. THE OLD GENTLEMAN IS TERRIFIED BEYOND MEASURE. IF
AT THE SAME TIME THE LITTLE BOY SHOULD ALSO PINCH THE LEG OF THE OLD
GENTLEMAN, THE FORCE OF THE JOKE IS MUCH HEIGHTENED; BUT THEN INDEED HE
MUST HAVE COURAGE, AND BE VERY ADROIT, OR HE MAY CHANCE TO GET A GREAT
BANG FROM AN UMBRELLA OR STICK.]
[Illustration: _AWKWARD._
_Railway Porter._ "NOW THEN, SIR! BY YOUR LEAVE!"]
[Illustration: _THE BEARD MOVEMENT.--GAMMONING A GENT._
_Little Gent._ "'OW MUCH?"
_Cabby._ "WELL, I'D RATHER LEAVE IT TO YOU, SIR! AND WHAT WE POOR
HANSOMS IS TO DO WHEN ALL YOU OFFICERS IS GONE ABROAD, GOODNESS
KNOWS."]
[Illustration: _AWFUL SCENE ON THE CHAIN PIER, BRIGHTON._
_Nursemaid._ "LAWK! THERE GOES CHARLEY, AND HE'S TOOK HIS MAR'S
PARASOL. WHAT WILL MISSUS SAY?"]
[Illustration: _A LUMPING PENN'ORTH._
"NOW, MY MAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, IF I GAVE YOU A
PENNY?"
"VY, THAT YOU VOS A JOLLY OLD BRICK!"]
[Illustration: _RATHER SUSPICIOUS!_
_Sentimental Young Lady._ "WILL YOU BE SO OBLIGING, MR. TONGS, AS TO
CUT OFF A LONG PIECE OF HAIR WHERE IT WILL NOT BE MISSED?"]
[Illustration: _ALARMING._
THE OLD LADY IS SUPPOSED (AFTER A GREAT EFFORT) TO HAVE MADE UP
HER MIND TO TRAVEL, JUST FOR ONCE, BY ONE "OF THOSE NEW-FANGLED
RAILWAYS," AND THE FIRST THING SHE BEHOLDS ON ARRIVING AT THE STATION,
IS THE ABOVE MOST ALARMING PLACARD.]
[Illustration: _A SKETCH AT RAMSGATE._
_Ellen (who loves a joke at AUNT FIDGET'S expense)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS,
AUNT, THERE ARE TWO OFFICERS!"
_Aunt Fidget (a short-sighted lady)._ "BLESS ME, SO THERE ARE! WELL;
THEY MAY BE OFFICERS, BUT THEY ARE NOT GENTLEMEN, I'M SURE, OR THEY
WOULDN'T STAND LOOKING AT US IN THAT IMPUDENT MANNER."]
[Illustration: _A PICTURE._
SHOWING WHAT MASTER TOM DID AF-TER SEE-ING A PAN-TO-MIME--BUT YOU WOULD
NOT DO SO--OH DEAR NO!--BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD BOY.]
[Illustration: _EASILY SATISFIED._
_Fond Parent._ "I DON'T CARE, MR. MEDIUM, ABOUT ITS BEING HIGHLY
FINISHED; BUT I SHOULD LIKE THE DEAR CHILD'S EXPRESSION PRESERVED."]
[Illustration: _A GREAT LOSS._
_Rapid Undergraduate._ "WELL, JACKSON! YOU SEE THEY'VE PLUCKED
ME AGAIN."
_Porter of St. Boniface._ "YE-ES, SIR, I WAS VERY SORRY WHEN I
'EARD OF IT, SIR."
_Undergraduate._ "AH! I DID INTEND GOING INTO THE CHURCH, AND
BEING AN ORNAMENT TO THE PROFESSION--BUT AS THEY WON'T LET
ME THROUGH--I THINK--I SHALL CUT THE WHOLE CONCERN."]
[Illustration: _RATHER A BAD LOOK-OUT._
_Young Sister._ "I SHOULD SO LIKE TO GO TO A PARTY, MA."
_Mamma._ "MY DEAR, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE (I
AM SURE A HUNDRED AND FIFTY TIMES), THAT UNTIL FLORA IS MARRIED, IT IS
UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GO OUT; SO DO NOT ALLUDE TO THE SUBJECT
AGAIN, I BEG."]
[Illustration: _A DREADFUL SHOCK TO THE NERVES._
"PLEASE, MEM, LET'S COME UNDER YOUR RUMBERELLER!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. V.
MR. BRIGGS, DETERMINED TO HAVE NO MORE INFERIOR HORSES, GIVES A GOOD
ROUND SUM FOR "A CLEVER COB--UP TO GREAT WEIGHT--AND THAT A CHILD MIGHT
RIDE." HE HAS SOME FRIENDS (WHO REALLY KNOW WHAT A HORSE IS) TO DINE
WITH HIM, WHOSE OPINIONS HE WISHES TO HAVE.
_First Friend._ "AH--VERY NICE--VERY NICE--BUT NOT MY SORT--BEEN
KNOCKED ABOUT A GOOD DEAL, I SHOULD SAY--DRIVEN IN A BUTCHER'S CART,
PERHAPS, AND SOLD BECAUSE HE WASN'T FAST ENOUGH."----_Second Ditto._
"HE HASN'T BEEN DOWN, BRIGGS, HAS HE? IS THAT A SCRATCH, OR IS IT ONLY
THE LIGHT?"----_Third Ditto._ "DOES HE SHY AT ALL? HIS EYES DON'T LOOK
QUITE THE THING."----_Fourth Ditto._ "I TELL YOU WHAT, BRIGGS, YOU
MUST HAVE HIM LOOKED AFTER A LITTLE BETTER, OR HE'LL VERY SOON HAVE A
CRACKED HEEL."----_Fifth Ditto._ "THAT HOCK SEEMS RATHER QUEER," &c.,
&c., &c.]
[Illustration: _A STARTLING REQUEST._
"PLEASE, SIR, WILL YOU PUMP FOR ME?"]
[Illustration: _CUT HIM DOWN BEHIND!_]
[Illustration: _DELICATE._
'_Bus Conductor._ "WOULD ANY LADY BE SO KIND AS TO RIDE OUTSIDE TO
OBLIGE A _GENTLEMAN_?"]
[Illustration: _CONFOUND THE SHOPS!_
_Mrs. ----._ "OH! DO LOOK HERE, DEAR! HOW EXTREMELY PRETTY THE AUTUMN
FASHIONS ARE, TO BE SURE. WHAT A PERFECTLY LOVELY LITTLE CLOAK!"
_Mr. ---- (rapidly changing the subject)._ "YES. YES! BEAUTIFUL!
BEAUTIFUL! BUT SEE, LOVE, WHAT A MAGNIFICENT BROWN HORSE, AND HOW
SPLENDIDLY THAT FELLOW SITS HIM!"]
[Illustration: _VERY LOW PEOPLE._
_Purveyor of Poultry._ "WHAT SORT O' PEOPLE ARE THEY AT NUMBER TWELVE,
JACK?"
_Purveyor of Meat._ "OH! A RUBBISHIN' LOT. LEG O' MUTTON A' MONDAYS,
AND 'ASH AN' COLD MEAT THE REST O' THE WEEK."]
[Illustration: _POOR TOMMY._
"WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH TOMMY?"
"BOO! HOO! I'VE CUT MY FINGER WITH AUNT'S SCISSORS."
"THAT'S A GOOD BOY! ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. VI.
MR. BRIGGS (_at an alarming sacrifice_) GETS RID OF HORSE NO. I., AND
GOES OUT FOR A RIDE IN THE COUNTRY UPON NO. II.
_Carman._ "FELL DOWN, HAS HE, SIR? AH, HE LOOKS AS IF HE COULD BE WERRY
CLEVER AT THAT.--WERRY ORKERD THING, SIR, FOR A OSS TO FALL DOWN,
SIR. OSSES OOSTES A GOOD BIT O' MONEY--LEASTWAYS, GENTLEMEN'S OSSES
DOES.--NOW, JIST LOOK AT MY LITTLE OSS, SIR, AND HE'S A POOR MAN'S OSS,
HE IS. HE DON'T GO FALLIN' ABOUT." (_Exit._)]
[Illustration: No. VII.
MR BRIGGS RIDES(!) HOME, AND WONDERS WHAT MRS. BRIGGS WILL SAY.]
[Illustration: _AWFUL INSTANCE OF PERCEPTION OF CHARACTER IN AN INFANT
PRODIGY._
_Prodigy._ "MAMMA, LOOK DERE! DERE PAPA!"]
[Illustration: _EASILY PLEASED._
_Disciple of Old Isaac._ "THIS WOULDN'T BE A BAD PLACE, IF THE FISH
WOULD ONLY BITE, AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THIS CONFOUNDED WASPS' NEST."]
[Illustration: _DELICACY OF THE SEASON._
_Testy Old Uncle (unable to control his passion)._ "REALLY, SIR, THIS
IS QUITE INTOLERABLE! YOU MUST INTEND TO INSULT ME. FOR THE LAST
FOURTEEN DAYS, WHEREVER I HAVE DINED, I HAVE HAD NOTHING BUT SADDLE
OF MUTTON AND BOILED TURKEY--BOILED TURKEY AND SADDLE OF MUTTON. I'LL
ENDURE IT NO LONGER."
[_Exit Old Gent., who alters his Will._]
[Illustration: _THE BANDS OF HOPE; OR, THE CHILDISH TEETOTAL MOVEMENT._
_Grandpapa._ "BUT FOR SEVENTY YEARS, MY CHILD, I HAVE FOUND THAT THE
MODERATE USE OF THE GOOD THINGS OF THIS LIFE HAS DONE ME GOOD."
_Young Hopeful Teetotaller._ "ALL A MISTAKE, GRANDPA', TOTAL ABSTINENCE
IS THE THING. LOOK AT ME! I'VE NOT TASTED WINE OR BEER FOR YEARS!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES Of HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. VIII.
MR. BRIGGS'S PRESENT HORSE DOESN'T QUITE SUIT HIM, FOR, SOMEHOW,
WHENEVER HE JUMPS, MR. B. IS SURE TO FALL OFF. HE TAKES HIM TO AN
EMINENT DEALER, AND REMARKS CONFIDENTLY THAT HE IS FOR SALE, UPON WHICH
THE DEALER SAYS: "HOW MUCH A POUND IF HE BUYS THE WHOLE OF HIM?"]
[Illustration: _A LITTLE BIT OF HUMBUG._
_Shoemaker._ "I THINK, MUM, WE HAD BETTER MAKE A PAIR. YOU SEE, MUM,
YOURS IS SUCH A REMARKABLY LONG AND NARRER FOOT!"]
[Illustration: _CHURCH AND STATE._]
[Illustration: _NOT TO BE PLAYED WITH._
_Groom._ "THAT'S ANOTHER FAVOURITE OSS OF MASTER'S, SIR, AND A GOOD UN
HE IS TOO, SIR, ONLY HE AIN'T VERY QUIET."
_Mr. Green._ "OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN--'NOT VERY QUIET?'"
_Groom._ "WHY, SIR, HE'D GET YOU UP IN A CORNER, AND KICK YER BRAINS
OUT IN NO TIME. HE'S A'MOST KILLED TWO MEN ALREADY."]
[Illustration: _BARRACK LIFE._
_First Heavy Swell (lately absent)._ "WELL, 'GUS, MY BOY--HOW DID YOU
KEEP IT UP HERE ON CHRISTMAS DAY?"
_Second Do._ "OH! IT WAS TERRIBLY SLOW--FOR ALL THE WORLD LIKE A SUNDAY
WITHOUT 'BELL'S LIFE!'"]
[Illustration: _NORTH-EAST WIND, THERMOMETER SEVERAL INCHES BELOW
FREEZING._
_Brighton Boatman._ "DID YOU WANT A PLEASURE BOAT THIS MORNING, SIR?
NICE DAY FOR A ROW!!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.
[Illustration: No. IX.
THE FROST GOES, AND MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE IS DISAGREEABLY FRESH AFTER HIS
LONG REST. HE SETS UP HIS BACK AND SQUEAKS AND PLUNGES AT EVERYTHING HE
MEETS.]
[Illustration: _A PLAYFUL CREATURE._
_Cabby._ "DON'T BE ALARMED, SIR, IT'S ONLY HIS PLAY."]
[Illustration: _THE MORNING AFTER THE DERBY._
_First Gent._ "WELL, NED, HOW DID WE GET HOME LAST NIGHT?"
_Second Gent._ "OH, I DON'T KNOW! DIDN'T I GO HOME WITH YOU?"]
[Illustration: _A MAN ABOUT TOWN._
"WHERE SHALL I SAY YOU'RE GONE TO, JIM, IF ANYONE CALLS?"
"OH, THE OLD SHOP--KENSINGTON GARDENS, TO HEAR THE BAND PLAY!"]
[Illustration: _TASTE._
"THAT'S A STUNNING PIN, FRANK!"
"YA-AS.--I'VE GOT A SET OF WAISTCOAT BUTTONS TO MATCH--LOOK JOLLY AT
NIGHT--I ASSURE YAH!"]
[Illustration: _MR. VERDANT'S FIRST ATTEMPT AT BOOK-MAKING._
_Verdant's Friend._ "WELL--AS NEAR AS I CAN MAKE IT OUT--YOU _MUST_
LOSE £150, AND _MAY_ LOSE £300."
[VERDANT _subsides into his Book_.]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. I.
_PREMONITORY SYMPTOMS OF MR. BRIGGS'S HUNTING FEVER._
_Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MA'AM, THERE'S A YOUTH IN THE PASSAGE AS WANTS
TO KNOW IF THESE TOP BOOTS IS ALL RIGHT."]
[Illustration: PLAIN SPEAKING.
_Amiable Young Lady No. 1._ "PRETTY! OH, DEAR NO--DO YOU?"
_Amiable Young Lady No. 2._ "LAW! NOT AT ALL. BESIDES, HOW ABOMINABLY
AFFECTED SHE IS!"]
[Illustration: _FANCY DRESS BALL._
"SIR!--PLEASE, MR.!--SIR! YOU'VE FORGOT THE DOOR-KEY!"]
[Illustration: _HOW TO DRESS A LOBSTER._
_Rude Boy._ "OH, LOOK 'ERE, JIM!--IF 'ERE AIN'T A LOBSTER BIN AND
OUTGROWED HIS CLOAK!"]
[Illustration: _ADVICE GRATIS._
_Ellen._ "OH, DON'T TEASE ME TO-DAY, CHARLEY; I'M NOT AT ALL WELL!"
_Charley (a Man of the World)._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, COUSIN--THE
FACT IS, YOU ARE IN LOVE! NOW, YOU TAKE THE ADVICE OF A FELLOW WHO HAS
SEEN A GOOD DEAL OF THAT SORT OF THING, AND DON'T GIVE WAY TO IT."]
[Illustration: _VERY PROPER DIET FOR HOT WEATHER._
_Mrs. Turtledove._ "DEAREST ALFRED! WILL YOU DECIDE NOW WHAT WE SHALL
HAVE FOR DINNER?"
_Mr. Turtledove._ "LET ME SEE, POPPET. WE HAD A WAFER
YESTERDAY--SUPPOSE WE HAVE A ROAST BUTTERFLY TO-DAY?"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. II.
_PREPARATIONS FOR HUNTING._
MR BRIGGS'S HUNTING CAP COMES HOME, BUT THAT IS REALLY A THING MRS.
BRIGGS CAN NOT AND WILL NOT PUT UP WITH.]
[Illustration: _A FINE DISPOSITION._
_Affectionate Husband._ "COME, POLLY, IF I AM A LITTLE IRRITABLE, IT'S
OVER IN A MINUTE!!"]
[Illustration: _THE PROBABLE EFFECT OF CHEAP FURNITURE HUMBUG._
"OH! IF YOU PLEASE, MISTER, ME AND THIS YOUNG AW-AW-INDIVIDUAL IS ABOUT
TO MARRY; AND WE WANT TO LOOK OVER YOUR CHEAP FURNITURE MART."]
[Illustration: _A JOLLY DOG._
"LOOK HERE, JAMES!--OLD MISSUS IS GONE OUT OF TOWN, AND I'VE GOT HER
BEAST OF A DOG WOT'S FED UPON CHICKINGS TO TAKE CARE OF.--WON'T I TEACH
HIM TO SWIM, NEETHER!"]
[Illustration: _AN IMPUDENT MINX._
_Lady of the House._ "HOITY TOITY, INDEED! GO AND PUT UP THOSE CURLS
DIRECTLY, IF YOU PLEASE. HOW DARE YOU IMITATE ME IN THAT MANNER?
IMPERTINENCE!"]
[Illustration: _THE CHATELAINE; A REALLY USEFUL PRESENT._
_Laura._ "OH. LOOK, MA' DEAR; SEE WHAT A _LOVE_ OF A CHATELAINE EDWARD
HAS GIVEN ME."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. III.
MR. BRIGGS, ON HIS WAY TO THE "METROPOLITAN STEEPLE CHASE," TRIES
WHETHER HIS HORSE IS A GOOD ONE ACROSS COUNTRY. HE IS REPRESENTED
RIDING AT A BROOK(!).]
[Illustration: _COMPLIMENTARY._
"'OLD 'ARD, BILL! HERE'S ANOTHER HIPPERPOTAMUS."]
[Illustration: _THE GOLD FISH AT HAMPTON COURT._]
[Illustration: _LAYING THE DUST._]
[Illustration: _A SKETCH FROM NATURE, TAKEN NEAR
THE FREEMASONS' TAVERN._
_Old Gentleman._ "GOOD GRACIOUS! IT'S STRIKING, AND
THEY'LL HAVE BEGUN DINNER."]
[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._
_Juvenile Oxford Man (who does not think Vin Ordinaire of himself)._
"A--WERE YOU AT EITHER UNIVERSITY?"
_Awful Swell._ "YA-AS--WHEN I WAS A--BOY!"
[OXFORD MAN _departs in a Hansom_.]
[Illustration: _DISTWESSING--VEWY._
_X. 42._ "DID YOU CALL THE POLICE, SIR?"
_Swell (who would perish rather than disturb his shirt-collar)._
"YA-AS, A--I'VE HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO DWOP MY UMBRELLAW, AND THERE
ISN'T A BOY WITHIN A MILE TO PICK IT UP--A--WILL YOU HAVE THE
GOODNESS?"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. IV.
MR. BRIGGS GOES OUT FOR A DAY'S HUNTING, AND HAS A GLORIOUS RUN OVER A
SPLENDID COUNTRY.]
[Illustration: _INGENIOUS IDEA._
ELEGANT MATERIAL FOR TROWSERS--ONLY TAKES TWO MEN TO SHOW THE PATTERN.]
[Illustration: _NO DOUBT._
"NOW I DARE SAY, BILL, THAT AIR BEAST OF A DOG IS A GOOD DEAL MORE
PETTED THAN YOU OR I SHOULD BE."]
[Illustration: _EXCESSIVELY POLITE._
_Well-bred Man._ "YOUR HORSE SEEMS A LITTLE IMPATIENT, SIR! PRAY GO
FIRST!"]
[Illustration: _THE CONSCIENTIOUS STABLE-KEEPER._
_Gent (who meditates a ride)._ "HALLO! WHY, CONFOUND IT. THAT'S MY
SADDLE HORSE, ISN'T IT?"
_Fly-Man._ "YES, SIR! IT'S ALL RIGHT; MASTER SAYS YOU'RE WERRY
PARTICULAR ABOUT 'AVIN OF 'IM EXERCISED REGULAR--SO WE PUTS 'IM INTO
THE BROOM WHEN YOU AIN'T OUT A RIDIN'!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. V.
MR. BRIGGS PUTS HIS HORSE IN HARNESS, AND DRIVES A FEW FRIENDS QUIETLY
DOWN TO THE DERBY.]
[Illustration: _DIFFERENT OPINIONS._
_Housebreaker._ "WOT A SHAME FOR PEOPLE TO GO LEAVING COAL-SCUTTLES
ABOUT FOR PEOPLE TO GO STUMBLING OVER!"]
[Illustration: _SCENE--WESTMINSTER BRIDGE.--TIME, TWO ON A FOGGY
MORNING._
_Reduced Tradesman (to a little party returning home)._ "DID YOU
WANT TO BUY A GOOD RAZOR?"]
[Illustration: _FOREIGNER OF DISTINCTION GOING TO ENJOY "LE SPORT."_]
[Illustration: _THE NEW HUNTER._
"WELL, CHARLEY! HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW PONY?"
"OH! PRETTY WELL, THANK YOU, UNCLE; ONLY I'M AFRAID HE'S HARDLY UP TO
MY WEIGHT, AND HE RUSHES SO AT HIS FENCES."]
[Illustration: _AFTER THE PANTOMIME._
_Mary._ "OH! HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A BEAUTIFUL COLUMBINE, AND RIDE
ABOUT IN A GOLD CAR DRAWN BY WHITE DOVES!"
_Augustus._ "AND HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A HARLEQUIN, AND CHANGE WHOLE
STREETS INTO REALMS OF DAZZLING DELIGHT!"
_Tom (a rude Boy)._ "AND HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO BE THE OLD CLOWN, AND
MAKE BUTTER SLIDES ON THE PAVEMENT TO UPSET OLD LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"]
[Illustration: _TOO CIVIL BY HALF!_
_English Cook._ "OH, DEAR! HERE, JAMES, COME, AND TAKE THIS ROAST
BEEF AND PLUM-PUDDING OUT OF THE WINDOW. IT HURTS THE FEELINGS OF THE
FOREIGN GENTS AS THEY WALK BY!"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. VI.
ON HIS RETURN FROM THE RACES, HE ASSURES HIS MAN THAT HE'S A MOST
"EKSHELLENT SERVANT"--THAT THE MARE NEVER CARRIED HIM BETTER. HE ALSO
TELLS HIM TO MAKE THE MARE QUITE "COMF-ABLE," AND TO BE "VERY CAREF-L
OF HISH CANDLE," BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH STRAW ABOUT!]
[Illustration: _THAMES FISHING._
_Fisherman (to Old Gentleman)._ "THEY'RE A' BITIN' AWAY OVER 'ERE, SIR!
JUST STEP ACROSS THAT THERE BIT O' WOOD, SIR, AND YOU'LL HAVE A CAPITAL
PITCH, SIR!"
_Old Gentleman._ "ACROSS THAT BIT OF WOOD! DOES THE MAN THINK I'M A
ROPE-DANCER?"]
[Illustration: _GOING TO COVER._
_Voice in the distance._ "NOW, THEN, SMITH--COME ALONG!"
_Smith._ "OH, IT'S ALL VERY WELL TO SAY, COME ALONG! WHEN HE WON'T MOVE
A STEP; AND I'M AFRAID HE'S GOING TO LIE DOWN."]
[Illustration: _A SON AND HEIR._
_Son and Heir._ "HOW MANY OF US ARE THERE? WHY, IF YOU COUNT THE GIRLS,
THERE ARE SIX--BUT SOME PEOPLE DON'T COUNT THE GIRLS.--_I'M ONE!_"]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. VII.
MR. BRIGGS, NOT BEING GOOD AT HIS "FENCES," GOES THROUGH THE
PERFORMANCE OF OPENING A GATE.]
[Illustration: _LOVE ON THE OCEAN._
"'OH! IS THERE NOT SOMETHING, DEAR AUGUSTUS, TRULY SUBLIME IN THIS
WARRING OF THE ELEMENTS?' BUT AUGUSTUS'S HEART WAS TOO FULL TO
SPEAK."--_MS. Novel by Lady * * *._]
[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._
_Juvenile._ "UNCLE!"
_Uncle._ "NOW THEN, WHAT IS IT? THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME YOU'VE WOKE ME
UP, SIR!"
_Juvenile._ "OH! JUST PUT A FEW COALS ON THE FIRE, AND PASS THE WINE,
THAT'S A GOOD OLD CHAP."]
[Illustration: _RELIGION À LA MODE._
_Housemaid._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, PARKER, I SHALL BE VERY GLAD WHEN
MISSUS HAS GOT TIRED OF THIS PUSEY-USM. IT MAY BE THE FASHION; BUT
WHAT WITH HER COMIN' HOME LATE FROM PARTIES, AND GETTING UP FOR EARLY
SERVICE, AND THEN GOIN' TO BED AGAIN, WE POOR SARVINTS HAS DOUBLE WORK
A'MOST."]
[Illustration: _STRANGE, BUT TRUE._
_Lady._ "BY THE WAY, MR. TONGS, I HAVE USED THAT BOTTLE OF BALM OF
CALIFORNIA, BUT I FIND MY HAIR STILL COMES OFF."]
[Illustration: _VERY ACUTE._
_Mr._ ----. "SO YOUR NAME IS CHARLEY, IS IT? NOW, CHARLEY DOESN'T KNOW
WHO I AM?"
_Sharp Little Boy._ "OH, YES! BUT I DO, THOUGH."
_Mr._ ----. "WELL, WHO AM I?"
_Sharp Little Boy._ "WHY, YOU'RE THE GENTLEMAN THAT KISSED SISTER SOPHY
IN THE LIBRARY, ON TWELFTH NIGHT, WHEN YOU THOUGHT NO ONE WAS THERE."]
[Illustration: _GLORIOUS NEWS._
"WELL, RUGGLES, IT'S ALL RIGHT!"
"WHAT'S ALL RIGHT?"
"WHY! WE ARE TO HAVE MARIO AGAIN."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. VIII.
_MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS._
MR. BRIGGS CAN'T BEAR FLYING LEAPS, SO HE MAKES FOR A GAP--WHICH IS
IMMEDIATELY FILLED BY A FRANTIC PROTECTIONIST, WHO IS VOWING THAT
HE WILL PITCHFORK MR. B. IF HE COMES "GALLOPERRAVERING" OVER HIS
FENCES--DANG'D IF HE DOAN'T.]
[Illustration: _AN EYE TO BUSINESS._]
[Illustration: _NOT A DIFFICULT THING TO FORETELL._
"LET THE POOR GIPSY TELL YOUR FORTUNE, MY PRETTY GENTLEMAN."]
[Illustration: _FLOWERS OF THE FRENCH ARMY--PICKED AT PARIS._]
[Illustration: _NOT YET!_]
[Illustration: _HIGHLY INTERESTING._
"SEEN THAT PARTY LATELY?"
"WHAT? THE PARTY WITH THE WOODEN LEG, AS COME WITH--"
"NO, NO--NOT THAT PARTY. THE PARTY, YOU KNOW, AS--"
"OH! AH! I KNOW THE PARTY YOU MEAN NOW."
"WELL, A PARTY TOLD ME AS HE CAN'T AGREE WITH THAT OTHER PARTY, AND HE
SAYS THAT IF ANOTHER PARTY CAN'T BE FOUND TO MAKE IT ALL SQUARE, HE
SHALL LOOK FOR A PARTY AS WILL." (_And so on for half an hour._)]
[Illustration: _SOUND ADVICE._
_Master Tom._ "HAVE A WEED, GRAN'PA?"
_Gran'pa._ "A WHAT! SIR?"
_Master Tom._ "A WEED!--A CIGAR, YOU KNOW."
_Gran'pa._ "CERTAINLY NOT, SIR. I NEVER SMOKED IN MY LIFE."
_Master Tom._ "AH! THEN I WOULDN'T ADVISE YOU TO BEGIN."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. IX.
MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER GLORIOUS DAY WITH THE HOUNDS, AND GETS THE BRUSH
(FOR WHICH HE PAYS HALF-A-SOVEREIGN--ONLY DON'T TELL ANYBODY).]
[Illustration: _AWFUL POSITION DURING A STORM._]
[Illustration: _DOG-DAYS! PLEASANT FOR JOHN THOMAS._
_Old Lady._ "JOHN THOMAS!"
_John Thomas._ "YES, MY LADY!"
_Old Lady._ "CARRY ESMERALDA--SHE'S GETTING TIRED, POOR DARLING!"]
[Illustration: _ALARMING._
_Hairdresser._ "THEY SAY, SIR, THE CHOLERA'S IN THE _H_AIR, SIR!"
_Gent. (very uneasy)._ "INDEED! AHEM! THEN I HOPE YOU ARE VERY
PARTICULAR ABOUT THE BRUSHES YOU USE."
_Hairdresser._ "OH! I SEE YOU DON'T _H_UNDERSTAND ME, SIR. I DON'T MEAN
THE 'AIR OF THE 'ED, BUT THE _H_AIR _H_OF THE _H_ATMOSPHERE!"]
[Illustration: _TEMPUS EDAX RERUM._
"GOOD GRACIOUS! IS IT POSSIBLE?--NO! YES! NO!--YES! YES, BY JUPITER,
IT'S A GREY HAIR IN MY FAVOURITE WHISKER!"]
[Illustration: _A ROMANCE OF ROAST DUCKS._
"MY DARLING, WILL YOU TAKE A LITTLE OF THE--A--THE STUFFING?"
"I WILL, DEAR, IF YOU DO; BUT IF YOU DON'T, I WON'T."]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. X.
IN ANSWER TO NUMEROUS INQUIRIES, WE ARE HAPPY TO SAY, THAT MR. BRIGGS
IS QUITE WELL, AND AT BRIGHTON. HE IS TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE
HIS FAMILY A FEW RIDING LESSONS. WE SHOULDN'T WONDER IF HE WENT OUT
WITH THE HARRIERS IN A DAY OR TWO.]
[Illustration: _THE HONEYMOON._
AUGUSTUS MAKES THE TEA FOR THE FIRST MONTH OF HIS MARRIAGE.]
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.
[Illustration: No. XI.
_MR. BRIGGS GOES OUT WITH THE BRIGHTON HARRIERS._
HE HAS A CAPITAL DAY. THE ONLY DRAWBACK IS, THAT HE IS OBLIGED TO LEAD
HIS HORSE _UP_ HILL TO EASE HIM, AND _DOWN_ HILL BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID
OF GOING OVER HIS HEAD--SO THAT HE DOESN'T GET QUITE SO MUCH HORSE
EXERCISE AS HE COULD WISH!]
[Illustration: _PRIVATE THEATRICALS._
DISMAY OF MR. JAMES JESSAMMY ON BEING TOLD THAT HE WILL SPOIL THE WHOLE
THING IF HE DOESN'T SHAVE OFF HIS WHISKERS.]
[Illustration: _TOWN AND COUNTRY._
_Country Footman meekly inquires of London Footman._ "PRAY, SIR, WHAT
DO YOU THINK OF OUR TOWN? A NICE PLACE, AIN'T IT?"