A DIFFICULT YEAR AND A TIME OF WAITING.
“Difficulties are the stones out of which all God’s houses are
built.”--ARCHBISHOP LEIGHTON.
All readers of “Jane Eyre” will remember the school, Lowood, to
which Jane was sent, and her terrible experiences, especially at the
beginning of her time there. The foundation in actual life of this
school of fiction, coloured by the Brontë temperament, with its evils
exaggerated for the purposes of art, is known by all to be the Clergy
Daughters’ School at Casterton. As we have seen in the last chapter, it
was to this school that Dorothea Beale had somewhat hastily resolved
to go after sending in her resignation to the Head of Queen’s College.
Probably she looked upon the offer of this post as an indication that
she was to sever her connection with the college in London. If in her
decision she was to blame, she certainly paid the price of her mistake.
Casterton is near Kirkby Lonsdale, in a somewhat lonely district,
within sight of the rounded height of Ingleborough. Dear to the heart
of north-country people is this glorious wild country, but it must have
seemed terribly out of the world to a girl accustomed to the life of
London, to its libraries and lectures, and the many interests of the
metropolis.
From the first Dorothea Beale felt herself oppressed and hindered by
numbers of things which she did not approve, and could not alter. The
girls wore a uniform which she found terribly depressing: the rules of
the school were extremely rigid, and the restrictions so many that she
felt the girls had no room for growth. To her, the whole organisation
of the place seemed wrong in principle, and the effect on the character
of the girls of a too rigid discipline appears to have been pernicious.
To one whose views on education were already clearly defined, the
having to “carry on” without any power to change what was wrong, must
have been an extremely trying experience.
Nor was there much compensation in her own work of teaching: rather
the opposite. She found herself compelled to teach many subjects, far
more than she could do justice to: Scripture, Arithmetic, Mathematics,
Ancient and Modern Church History, Physical and Political Geography,
English Literature, Grammar and Composition, French, German, Italian,
and Latin. Holding such strong views as she did about the preparation
of lessons and the careful correction of children’s work, she must have
found this undue multiplication of subjects very unsatisfactory. There
can be, I suppose, for natures like Dorothea Beale’s, few things so
trying as circumstances which make a high standard of work impossible.
Her father’s letters to her at this time reveal the strong friendship
that existed between the two. She wrote home that she found the work
hard and her father replied, evidently with the idea of cheering her:--
“Employment is a blessed state, it is to the body what sleep is to the
mind.... I cannot be sorry when I hear that you are fully employed. I
am sure it will be usefully.... I feel I can bear your being so far and
so entirely away with some philosophy, and I am delighted that your
letters bear the tone of content, and that you have been taken notice
of by people who seem disposed to be kind to you.... Give an old man’s
love to all your pupils and may they make their fathers as happy as you
do.”
The difficulties at Casterton, however, did not grow less, but tended
rather to increase. Her parents began to have some inkling of these,
and to feel very doubtful whether she ought to stay at Casterton. On
her birthday, March 21, her father wrote again:--
“God bless you and give you many birthdays. I fear the present is not
one of the most agreeable: it is spent at least in the path of what
you consider duty, and so will never be looked back upon but with
pleasure.... Do not, however, my dear girl, think of remaining long
in a position which may be irksome to you, for thus, I think, it will
hardly be profitable to others, and indeed I question whether you would
maintain your health where the employment was so great and duty the
only stimulus to action. You have heard me often quote: ‘The hand’s
best sinew ever is the heart’.”
Two months later Mr. Beale wrote:--
“I long to see you again very much. I cannot get reconciled to your
position and feel satisfied that it is your place.... God bless you,
my dear girl, and blunt your feelings for the rubs of the world, and
quicken your vision for the beautiful and unseen of the world above
you.”
The sensitiveness her father alludes to in this letter was one of
Dorothea Beale’s leading characteristics to the end of her life.
Though she welcomed and considered the criticism of competent people
and often acted on it she had a curiously sensitive shrinking from
adverse judgment: and this often cut her off from valuable advice. Her
shyness, too, kept her from the friendship of those who, like herself,
were too diffident to make advances. In it, however, lay one of her
chief powers, the subtle perception that enabled her to see almost into
the very souls of the girls she taught. Once, at Cheltenham, a child
refused to admit that she had done wrong. One morning Dorothea Beale
sent for the class teacher. “Send So-and-So to me,” she said, “I can
see from her face this morning that she will tell me all.” And she was
right.
It was at Casterton that she adopted the simple style of dress that she
always preferred. One of her pupils thus describes her:--
“Her appearance, as I remember it then, was charming. Her figure was of
medium height. The rather pale oval face, high, broad forehead, large,
expressive grey eyes, all showed intellectual character. Her dress was
remarkable in its neatness. She wore black cashmere in the week, and a
pretty mouse-coloured grey dress on Sundays.”
Possibilities of making improvements at Casterton now began to weigh on
her mind. Unless things were changed she felt she could not stay, but
she was not inclined to give up without an effort at amelioration. She
determined to take a very bold step and to appeal to the Committee. Her
father was kept in touch with all her plans at this time and wrote:--
“I think we must be content to wait, at any rate for the present, and
see if any good comes from your interview with the Committee. You
notice two points chiefly--the low moral tone of the school and the
absence of prizes [distinctions, responsibilities, etc.]. The want
of sympathy and love (the great source of woman’s influence in every
condition of life) was the prominent feature of the establishment in my
mind after talking it over with you. But nothing can flourish if love
be not the ruling incentive....”
He goes on to say that he realises how much love and devotion she puts
into her work, but how useless it is when she is unsupported.
“Weigh the matter well before this Christmas,” he continues, “and if
you find no changes are made, the same cold management continued, send
in your resignation.”
Then the affectionate father concludes:--
“I cannot contemplate your not coming up at Christmas. As we grow older
each year makes us more desirous of the company of those we love;
perhaps, because we feel how soon we shall part with it altogether;
perhaps, because we are become more selfish, but such is the fact.”
The six members of the Committee apparently consented with some
reluctance to hear Dorothea, but she did get a hearing and brought her
chief objections before them. The experience was not so trying as she
had anticipated, and the Committee appeared fairly conciliatory. She
explained--in speaking of the absence of prizes--that by this term she
meant rather distinctions, privileges, and opportunities of doing good.
She offered to resign, but the Committee said, “Oh, no, certainly not”.
And she came away feeling that her efforts might have some good result.
Few people, whether individuals or collective bodies, can endure
criticism, and Dorothea Beale’s complaints seem to have caused a
great deal of discomfort in her relationship with those connected with
Casterton. This was increased very much by a suspicion that she was
not orthodox according to the evangelical low-church point of view.
She was considered “high,” and was suspected of holding extreme views
about baptismal regeneration, one of the storm centres of religious
controversy at this time. This caused even one of her chief friends on
the Committee to wish her to leave.
With the tenacity of purpose that characterised her through life,
she tried to believe that it was right for her to stay and fight the
difficulties at Casterton. Gradually, however, the impossibility of
doing so became evident, and she wrote to her father:--
“I do not see how it is possible to do much good. I may work upon a
few individuals, but the whole tone of the school is unhealthy, and I
never felt anything like the depression arising from the constant jar
upon one’s feelings caused by seeing great girls professing not to care
about religion.”
She suggested that she should send in her resignation, and her father
replied at length, giving her advice as to how to approach the
Committee, and again writing words of cheer:--
“Above all things take care of your health.... I am quite sure that
you have a long course of usefulness before you. The flattering regard
in which you are held at Queen’s College, and the constant means you
always have in London of constantly improving yourself, must teach you
somewhat of your own value. Though I would not indeed presume upon it
further than to give you confidence to act rightly.”
It was near the end of November before Dorothea made her final decision
to send in her resignation. She had not time to carry out this decision
before she received the following note from the Committee:--
“On your last interview with the Committee you implied an intention
of resigning in case certain alterations should not be made by the
Committee....
“The Committee are of opinion that, under the circumstances, it would
be better that your connection with the school should cease after
Christmas next, they paying you a quarter’s salary in advance.”
This note was received shortly before the Christmas holidays.
It is easier to imagine than to describe the effect of this summary
dismissal on a highly sensitive girl, whose actions had throughout
been prompted by a sincere desire for the good of the school. It is
difficult to endure the sense of failure in youth before one has
had assurance of one’s own powers. Again at this time her father’s
sympathetic letters, reminding her of the high motives with which she
had undertaken this work, were a great comfort to her. In after years
Dorothea Beale acknowledged the value of this year at Casterton. No
life is perhaps complete without its times of failure, as she must
have felt her year at Casterton to be. For the world is full of men
and women who fail, and it is only by personal knowledge of their
experience that we can sympathise with them and help them to rise above
it.
Many, however, appreciated the good work Dorothea Beale did at
Casterton, and her quiet and steady persistence in what she felt to be
right were not without their permanent influence on the school. Her
remembrance of this school was a source of pain to her, and yet, as the
years went on, she felt how much she owed to her experiences there. In
_The Times_ of November 19, 1906, there is an extract from a letter by
Canon A. D. Burton, Casterton Vicarage, Kirkby Lonsdale.
“I have read with interest your account of Miss Beale’s life. I think,
however, it is possible that it may give an erroneous impression with
regard to her connection with Casterton, and it may be of interest
if I mention that I happen to know something of the feelings she
entertained towards the school. Rather more than a year ago she wrote
to say that it had long been in her mind to do something for the school
in grateful remembrance of the benefit which her connection with it
had been to her, and this wish finally took shape in the founding of a
scholarship to Cheltenham, and the first Casterton-Beale Scholar is at
the present time in residence at that college.
“The Casterton Clergy Daughters’ School, like most other schools of
long standing, has a past which is not to be compared with its present.
That is no disparagement to it, but the reverse. Its present state is
one of high efficiency, but it is interesting that it was not on this
account only that Miss Beale wished her name to be always connected
with it, but because she felt herself in debt to it. ‘I owe much to
it,’ were her words. A few months ago she also presented to the school
an oil-painting of herself which was hung in the entrance hall.”
She did not leave Casterton, however, without some acknowledgment on
the part of the authorities and others that her work and character
had been appreciated. It must also have been a solace to her when Dr.
Plumptre, hearing of her resignation, at once wrote and spoke of the
possibility of a mathematical tutorship at Queen’s College.
* * * * *
It was characteristic of Dorothea Beale that after she returned home
from Casterton with one part of her work finished and no other in
view, she did not idly waste her time but began a definite piece of
work--the writing of her history, “The Student’s Text-book of English
and General History”. The need of such a book was felt very strongly at
this time, partly because of the outcry against the papistical doctrine
inserted into Ince’s history, one of the most popular text-books of the
day. This book must have involved an enormous amount of work, though
it dealt only in outline with this vast subject. In the preface she
makes it clear to the student that no real knowledge of history can be
built upon such a slender foundation, and urges the need for filling
in the outlines by wide and thorough reading. Her history was not her
only occupation at this time; she did some visiting teaching--Latin and
Mathematics--at Miss Elwell’s school at Barnes.
She realised the difficulty of working steadily at home, knowing the
thousand distractions, social and domestic, that come to divert a girl
from any definite pursuits. So she adopted the plan of writing her
history in a large empty room at the top of the house. Here she would
work without a fire on cold winter days. Whether this was an expression
of the desire for Spartan simplicity of life which she always had, or
was done simply to keep away members of the family who might wish to
come and chat, one cannot say.
Dorothea Beale had evidently undertaken some work as secretary and
collector for the Church Penitentiary Association and for a Diocesan
Home at Highgate, working with Mrs. Lancaster. The latter greatly
appreciated her and her conscientious work, and realised what a
valuable helper she would be, if she could enlist her in this great
service. She approached her with the suggestion that she should take
the headship of the Home. Dorothea Beale considered the offer but
refused. This must have been a great test of faith in her own judgment.
Behind her were two experiences, both of which had ended in apparent
failure because of her inability to agree with the authorities. No
educational work was in view, and she must have questioned her own
wisdom in refusing this opportunity of service which came to her.
Yet it seems as if at this time there dawned on her mind the deep
conviction that she was called to educational work among her own class:
that with her temperament and ideas so much in advance of her own time
a headship was the only post that would give her the scope and freedom
that she needed if she was to do her best work. And so she waited, not
with idle hands and brain, but fully occupied with her history, her
teaching, and home duties.
It was probably about this time that she began her Diary, which she
kept with some intervals until the year 1901. The purpose of it seems
to have been to keep a record not of outward events but rather of her
moral and spiritual life. In it we have one of the many evidences
of that sternness towards herself which she maintained in all
circumstances of life, even in illness. Earlier, perhaps, than most
people, she seems to have realised that her influence on others would
depend entirely on what she herself was. One or two quotations from her
journal will illustrate the purpose of it.
_March 6._--History. Aunt E. came. Cross at not getting my own way.
Some idleness. Impatient manner.
_April 14._--History. Elizabeth. Called on the Blenkarnes. Dined
at Chapter House. Idle. Indulgence in reading story at my time for
evening prayer. Unpunctual in morning. Thoughtless about Mama.
_April 20._--History, 16th Century. Felt terribly cross. O grant me
calmness.
_June 4._--Saw Mrs. Barret. Copied. Neglected prayer greatly. Very
worldly.
_June 7._--Wrote letters. A terrible blank of worldliness. Idle.
_June 9._--Wrote to Miss Elwell. Letter from Cheltenham. Copied
certificates. Worldly. Spoke angrily to A.
At this time there are many allusions in her journal to crossness.
Probably it was the result of that supreme test of the active,
energetic mind--the enduring of uncertainty. In 1901 she wrote to a
friend about this period of her life:--
“Once I had an interval of work, and I thought perhaps God would not
give it me again--but after that interval He called me here. I think
now I can see better how I needed that time of comparative quiet and
solitude, and a time to think over my failures, and a time to be more
helpful to my family.”
Whilst still young, Dorothea Beale formed the habit of frequent
attendance at early Communion, which she maintained all through her
busy life. Like the saintly men and women of all ages, she felt that
the more strenuous and exacting her work, the more she needed these
hours of Communion. The Sacraments of the Church as generally necessary
to salvation she believed to be two--Baptism and Holy Communion--but
the whole of life to her was sacramental. More and more as years passed
by did outward and visible things become to her the signs of inward and
spiritual realities: to her, and to those of her school of thought,
sacramentalism meant “the discovery of the river of the water of life
flowing through the whole desert of human existence”.
But Dorothea Beale was no dreamy, unpractical mystic, holding herself
aloof from the practical difficulties of life. She realised that there
is little value in a religion that cannot find expression in the life
of every day; and little strength in the soul that is not continually
fortified by the struggle of work and the carrying out of duty.
“The religion of Dorothea Beale,” says Mrs. Raikes, “was far indeed
from being a mere succession of beautiful and comforting thoughts. It
meant authority. It involved all the difficulties of daily obedience,
it meant the fatigue of watching, the pains of battle, sometimes
the humiliation of defeat. Intense as was her feeling on religious
subjects, it was never permitted to go off in steam, as she would term
it, but became at once a practical matter for everyday life.”