(_By "Hansom Jack."_)
No. 1.--MY MATES AND MY FARES.
[Illustration]
"_Me and my Fares!_" There's a takingish title for one o' them books
as they call "Rummynicences!"
Don't you imagine "Romance on the Rank" must mean dry-as-dust yarns
about Strikes, Fares and Licences.
"TREACLE," "LONG BENJY," and "PINEAPPLE BOB," "OLD CURLY,"
"THE COUNTRYMAN," "GINGER," and "CHICKING,"
Not naming myself, if it comes to good stories, could give Sherlock
'OLMES arf a length _and_ a licking.
Rum names? Lor! that's nothink! You look down a list, in the
_Sporting Snips_ say, of the 'orses in running,
And any cab-rank could knock 'oles in the lot, for sheer oddity,
jumble-up, fancy and funning.
Many a nickname's a yarn in itself, or leastways suggests one to
them in the know of it.
Cabby is like Sir GEORGE LEWIS; _'e_ knows London's seamiest side,
though 'e mayn't make no show of it.
Take "CODDY COWSLIP," now! Meaningless muddle, _that_ name, I've no
doubt, to a fare trim and toffy.
But git old C. C. on the patter one mornin', say over a Billingsgate
pheasant and coffee.
Twig 'is old countryfied dial a-wrinkle with sly, knowing wickedness!
Lor! it's a beano!
And yet "CODDY"'s got such a chawbacon chuckle, 'e passes--with them
as ain't fly--for a greeno.
What _'e_ don't know about cockney conniverings, _and_ country
collyfogs, isn't worth knowing.
Why, 'e's been _everythink_, ploughboy and street-preacher,
betting-man, jock, "all-a-blowing-a-growing,"
Pedlar and poacher, 'orse-dealer, and 'earse-driver! Yes, and 'is
name seems to tell the whole story
To us as 'ave 'eard it in "COWSLIP'S" soft snuffle, when over a
toddy-tot, all in 'is glory.
What _I_ say is this: If a Cabby can't see, and take stock of, the
life of this wonderful City,
Perched 'igh on 'is box, with arf town for 'is fares, and 'is eye on
the other arf, well, it's a pity.
I've drove BILLY SHIKSPUR'S Seven Ages, _I_ have, and a tidy lot more
as the Swan never thought on;
For cabs wasn't up in the days of Queen BESS; though that _Jaques_
as a Growler I think might 'ave caught on!
I've known his fair moral in stror bands and capes, 'stead o' cloak and
trunk 'ose. Ah! If WILLIAM 'ad driven
A 'ansom ten year--and I guess for the chance all them Venice canals
and their boats 'e'd ha' given!--
What plays 'e'd ha' found ready-made to 'is 'ands! Was it DIZZY as
called us the London Gondolers?
Well, 'e knowed a thing or two, BENJAMIN did, 'bout Romance; a lot more
than your stick-in-the-'olers.
_Romance?_ I could reel you out yarns by the hour, as I've dropped on,
or 'eard of from others, since cabbing;
But it's only when Bobby is fair on our track, or there's perks in the
wind, as we're given to blabbing.
Trot 'em out in the Shelter sometimes to our pals; some on 'em, I tell
you, are creepy and twittery,
Just the right stuff for them "'Aporths of All Sorts" the
scrap-'unting parties as calls theirselves littery.
Take railway-stations, theayters, and 'orsepitals, them three alone,
and, for comic _or_ tragic,
Imagine the drammers a driver gets glimpses of! Peeps through
town-winders, too! Tell you, it's magic,
The way we spot mysteries, caught through a curtain, cock-eyed, from
our perch nigh the second-floor level,
In spins through back streets, or the sububs. The world and the flesh,
my dear Sir,--with a dash of the d----l!
Me and my fares, _and_ my mates on the Rank, make a pretty big world.
To a man as loves 'osses,
A Cabby's life isn't arf bad on the whole, spite of bilks and bad
weather, hard bosses and losses.
The grip of the reins, and the flick of the whip, 'ave a fair
fascination to fellows built _my_ way,
And dulness--that cuss of the poor!--doesn't 'unt you in spinnin'
through Babbylon's 'ighway or byeway.
Dulness! To drowse on the Rank for two hours, or more, waiting a fare,
isn't sparkling or thrilling,
And then, p'r'aps, a stingy old mivvey with luggage, as takes yer two
miles, full, and tips a bare shilling!
But lively turn-ups are most times on the _tappy_, or just round the
corner. Cab, Sir! Piccadilly?
Now if that chalk-face, with the penny-slot mouth, doesn't 'ide a
grim story or two, send me silly!
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