(_An Extract from the Note-book of Mr. Barlow the Younger._)
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I am quite sure that, had my revered grandsire survived--as a matter of
fact, he passed away some time ago, leaving a valuable connection--he
would have moved with the times. In his day he certainly did his best
to amuse his pupils by telling them agreeable and instructive stories,
but he did not actually join in their sports. I, his descendant, pursue
the even tenor of my way on a different tack. I have two lads staying
with me during the vacation. Their parents are residing in the Indian
portion of the British empire and the Australian colonies. They are
bright, intelligent boys, full of high spirits, and yet gifted with an
amount of common sense much in advance of their comparatively tender
years. GEORGIE BARNWELL is generous to a fault. He will borrow
sixpence of a friend to-day, and give half of it to a beggar to-morrow.
His companion, JACKY RUSH, is more economical. He, too, will
borrow sixpence to-day and supplement it, if possible, by a further
loan on the morrow. Consequently JOHN is richer, as a rule,
than GEORGE.
"See, Sir," said RUSH to me a morning or so since, "what I
have got. Thanks to the kindness of some acquaintances with longer
purses than my own, I have acquired a fishing-rod."
"Which I trust you will not allow him to use," put in
BARNWELL, impulsively. "He is considerably my junior, and
I fear that, were he to fish, he might be drawn by the strength of
the current into the water, and possibly be drowned. Such a calamity
would be a terrible thing to his parents. What would make such a blow
the more acute would be the expense of the telegram conveying the
lamentable news to India. On these grounds, revered Sir, I trust you
will forbid him the use of the fishing-rod."
"I believe the apprehensions of my comrade are unnecessary," said
sensible JACKY. "I feel convinced, however, that they spring
from the best motives, as he refused to have anything to do with the
purchase of the rod, on the score that he thought I would be tempted to
use it. Now that I have bought it with my own money----"
"Your own money," observed GEORGIE, with a smile.
"With money that has passed into my possession," amended the younger
lad, "I shall be glad to sell the rod at a considerable discount if
such a financial arrangement can be entertained by my well-intentioned
companion."
"I am sincerely grieved," replied BARNWELL to this invitation,
"to have to say 'No.' A rather extensive purchase of Japanese caramel
cannon-balls has entirely exhausted my pecuniary resources. But I
am willing to meet JACKY half way. As he has bought the
fishing-rod, I shall be glad to hold it for him when we get to the
landing-stage, where we propose commencing our search for the denizens
of the vasty deep."
It will be noticed by the observant that up to this point the
conversation had been conducted in well-chosen words. "Literary
elegance in diction" is one of the many extras that appear in the bills
delivered quarterly (and payable in advance) to the parents of my
cherished charges. To my surprise and annoyance JACKY, instead
of retorting with courtesy, merely placed his right hand level with his
face, extended the fingers, and allowed the thumb to touch the nose.
"You will see, Sir," said GEORGIE, much shocked at this
vulgarity, "that my companion at times is lost to all sense of shame.
If you are kind enough to turn aside for a moment, I shall be glad to
accomplish a feat known amongst the prize fighters of the earlier part
of the present century as punching some one's head."
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I complied with my pupil's request, and for some little while there
were sounds not entirely unsuggestive of lamentation. Sounds which
seemed to cause no little amusement to an observant 'Arry.
Our walk to the place of fishery after this little incident was
uneventful. When we reached the spot, a rough-looking mariner was in
attendance with what subsequently appeared to be a bag of bait.
"Morning gents, all," said the sailor, respectfully; "I have got
what you want. But be careful how you touch them, as they are nasty
customers."
This warning was necessary, for GEORGIE (who is of an
inquiring character) had placed his hands amongst the worms with
results. He uttered an exclamation of pain. "Ah, I thought so!" cried
the mariner, looking at my charge's travel-stained palm; "you have been
bitten by a blue doctor. Well, all you have to do is to climb up to the
moat under that there castle and find some mote weed. Put the weed on
the spot and the pain will go like magic."
"But its quite a mile up hill," observed the still depressed
BARNWELL. "What shall I do while I am going? It hurts me
fearfully."
"My dear GEORGIE," said JACKY, who had now reassumed
his customary demeanour, "pray be guided by the advice of this worthy
and experienced person. I feel sure that what he recommends is
salutary. And as to what you should do while mounting the undoubtedly
lofty heights leading to the castle's moat, I would recommend a policy
of cheerful submission. Bear it, my dear boy, with fortitude, and smile
while you perform the heroic operation. During your absence, I myself
will hold the fishing-rod. This concession should tend to assuage your
anguish. And, in conclusion, let me hazard the hope that when you
return from the moat with your hand convalescent, after an application
of moat weed, you will find that I have had good sport. I trust to be
in a position to present you with either a specimen of a salmon, a
sole, a flying fish, or a tittlebat--of course, any one or all of them
for a suitable consideration."
GEORGIE waited no longer, but hastened away after kicking in
the direction of his cherished companion.
"It's a painful bite when you ain't accustomed to it," observed the
mariner. "Not that I mind 'em. Look here, all them's bites and stings."
And the man stretched forth his hand, which was certainly covered with
a variegated assortment of scars.
"What did that?" asked JACKY, with a stronger feeling of
curiosity than an appreciation of grammar.
"That was done, Sir, by a spiteful cat," replied the mariner. "It is a
nasty worm is the spiteful cat. Cut them up into halves and they will
bite you still. But there, the fish is awful fond of them! Why, these
here blood-clotters are nothing to them, no more are these lug worms."
With this, the man threw down what appeared to be a small but, for its
size, corpulent sea-serpent.
"It's no good," he exclaimed, scornfully. "The fish won't touch any of
that lot after they've lost their shape. Look at that one, it's foolish
to call it a worm now, ain't it? Now I will take this blue doctor and
bait the line for you. See, I run the hook through the head to the hip.
That will fetch a mullet. It leaves me half. But you must take a whole
one for a codling."
By this time JACKY was standing on the brink of the stage, all
impatient to cast his line into the water. The bait, encumbered by some
nobs of lead, fell with a jerk into the sea.
"You had better take a seat, young master," said the experienced
mariner; "sometimes you get bites by the dozen, at others nothing comes
near you for hours. It's all a toss up. And the fish, too, they are
fanciful. Your dabs and your codlings are demons for rock worms. But
the mullet and whiting want something a bit more tasty."
"If that is the case," said JACKY, who had been from time to
time watching his bait, "do you not think you could find something more
tempting than this attenuated worm, which, so far as I can judge, has
already been diminished in the water of half its stature."
"Well, yes, Sir; I could put on a spiteful cat. If a fish will touch
anything, he will touch spiteful cat."
Then with admirable skill the mariner selected a bait, and in a
twinkling had the hook refurnished.
"I shall be glad to be successful," said JACKY, "as I notice
that my cherished companion, GEORGIE, has obtained the
healing weed, and is rapidly returning from the Castle's moat. He
will be pleased to find that while he has been in pain I have been
enjoying a delightful sport, with no little reward attached to it. If
I were sufficiently fortunate to capture a salmon, no doubt I would
find a ready market for it in London, and thus acquire a sum of money
sufficient to meet all my present necessities, and even to pay back a
portion of the sums that have, during a period extending over years,
been so kindly advanced to me."
Unwilling to waste my time, and finding the occupation of watching
JACKY'S fruitless efforts to rob the mighty deep of its
piscatorial inhabitants somewhat tedious, I had jotted down these
few notes. It was at this moment that JACKY, who had been
ineffectually attempting to charge his hook, suddenly gave me the
bait to hold. I had thus at length an opportunity of making the
close acquaintance of "spiteful cat." The immediate result of the
introduction was the abrupt and painful termination of my literary
labours.
* * * * *
"MINE AGAIN."--The _Liverpool Courier_ tells a curious
story of a female miner in "one of the chief Welsh gold mines." She
is, we are informed, "a girl fair to look upon, a colonial, bright,
common-sensible, wayward, musical, a linguist, altogether talented, and
something of a new woman, _yet not_. She is linguist enough to attempt
the Welsh language, perhaps that she may thereby mine the more."
Admirable descriptive diction this! The lady gold-seeker must be not
only a miner, but a Minerva, and if only she succeeds in discovering
a few nuggets she will be able (as a wag might suggest) to purchase a
_pallas_ to live in.
* * * * *