She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Kazi said to

the servants, "What hath your master done to me that I should kill him?

This is my house and it is open to you all." Then quoth the Barber,

"Thou didst beat him and I heard him cry out;" and quoth the Kazi, "But

what was he doing that I should beat him, and what brought him in to my

house; and whence came he and whither went he?" "Be not a wicked,

perverse old man!" cried the Barber, "for I know the whole story; and

the long and short of it is that thy daughter is in love with him and

he loves her; and when thou knewest that he had entered the house, thou

badest thy servants beat him and they did so: by Allah, none shall

judge between us and thee but the Caliph; or else do thou bring out our

master that his folk may take him, before they go in and save him

perforce from thy house, and thou be put to shame." Then said the Kazi

(and his tongue was bridled and his mouth was stopped by confusion

before the people), "An thou say sooth, do thou come in and fetch him

out." Whereupon the Barber pushed forward and entered the house. When I

saw this I looked about for a means of escape and flight, but saw no

hiding place except a great chest in the upper chamber where I was. So

I got into it and pulled the lid down upon myself and held my breath.

The Barber was hardly in the room before he began to look about for me,

then turned him right and left and came straight to the place where I

was, and stepped up to the chest and, lifting it on his head, made off

as fast as he could. At this, my reason forsook me, for I knew that he

would not let me be; so I took courage and opening the chest threw

myself to the ground. My leg was broken in the fall, and the door being

open I saw a great concourse of people looking in. Now I carried in my

sleeve much gold and some silver, which I had provided for an ill day

like this and the like of such occasion; so I kept scattering it

amongst the folk to divert their attention from me and, whilst they

were busy scrambling for it, I set off, hopping as fast as I could,

through the by streets of Baghdad, shifting and turning right and left.

But whithersoever I went this damned Barber would go in after me,

crying aloud, "They would have bereft me of my maa-a-ster! They would

have slain him who was a benefactor to me and my family and my friends!

Praised be Allah who made me prevail against them and delivered my lord

from their hands!" Then to me, "Where wilt thou go now? Thou wouldst

persist in following thine own evil devices, till thou broughtest

thyself to this ill pass; and, had not Allah vouchsafed me to thee,

ne'er hadst thou escaped this strait into which thou hast fallen, for

they would have cast thee into a calamity whence thou never couldest

have won free. But I will not call thee to account for thine ignorance,

as thou art so little of wit and inconsequential and addicted to

hastiness!" Said I to him, "Doth not what thou hast brought upon me

suffice thee, but thou must run after me and talk me such talk in the

bazar streets?" And I well nigh gave up the ghost for excess of rage

against him. Then I took refuge in the shop of a weaver amiddlemost of

the market and sought protection of the owner who drove the Barber

away; and, sitting in the back room,[FN#630] I said to myself, "If I

return home I shall never be able to get rid of this curse of a Barber,

who will be with me night and day; and I cannot endure the sight of him

even for a breathing space." So I sent out at once for witnesses and

made a will, dividing the greater part of my property among my people,

and appointed a guardian over them, to whom I committed the charge of

great and small, directing him to sell my houses and domains. Then I

set out on my travels that I might be free of this pimp;[FN#631] and I

came to settle in your town where I have lived some time. When you

invited me and I came hither, the first thing I saw was this accursed

pander seated in the place of honour. How then can my heart be glad and

my stay be pleasant in company with this fellow who brought all this

upon me, and who was the cause of the breaking of my leg and of my

exile from home and native land. And the youth refused to sit down and

went away. When we heard his story (continued the Tailor) we were

amazed beyond measure and amused and said to the Barber, "By Allah, is

it true what this young man saith of thee?" "By Allah," replied he, "I

dealt thus by him of my courtesy and sound sense and generosity. Had it

not been for me he had perished and none but I was the cause of his

escape. Well it was for him that he suffered in his leg and not in his

life! Had I been a man of many words, a meddler, a busy body, I had not

acted thus kindly by him; but now I will tell you a tale which befell

me, that you may be well assured I am a man sparing of speech in whom

is no forwardness and a very different person from those six Brothers

of mine; and this it is."

The Barber’s Tale of Himself.

I was living in Baghdad during the times of Al-Mustansir

bi'llah,[FN#632] Son of Al-Mustazi bi'llah the then Caliph, a prince

who loved the poor and needy and companied with the learned and pious.

One day it happened to him that he was wroth with ten persons,

highwaymen who robbed on the Caliph's highway, and he ordered the

Prefect of Baghdad to bring them into the presence on the anniversary

of the Great Festival.[FN#633] So the Prefect sallied out and, making

them His prisoners, embarked with them in a boat. I caught sight of

them as they were embarking and said to myself, "These are surely

assembled for a marriage feast; methinks they are spending their day in

that boat eating and drinking, and none shall be companion of their

cups but I myself." So I rose, O fair assembly; and, of the excess of

my courtesy and the gravity of my understanding, I embarked with them

and entered into conversation with them. They rowed across to the

opposite bank, where they landed and there came up the watch and

guardians of the peace with chains, which they put round the robbers'

necks. They chained me among the rest of them; and, O people, is it not

a proof of my courtesy and spareness of speech, that I held my peace

and did not please to speak? Then they took us away in bilbos and next

morning carried us all before Al-Mustansir bi'llah, Commander of the

Faithful, who bade smite the necks of the ten robbers. So the Sworder

came forward after they were seated on the leather of blood;[FN#634]

then drawing his blade, struck off one head after another until he had

smitten the neck of the tenth; and I alone remained. The Caliph looked

at me and asked the Heads man, saying, "What ails thee that thou hast

struck off only nine heads?"; and he answered, "Allah forbid that I

should behead only nine, when thou biddest me behead ten!" Quoth the

Caliph, "Meseems thou hast smitten the necks of only nine, and this man

before thee is the tenth." "By thy beneficence!" replied the Headsman,

"I have beheaded ten." "Count them!" cried the Caliph and whenas they

counted heads, lo! there were ten. The Caliph looked at me and said,

"What made thee keep silence at a time like this and how camest thou to

company with these men of blood? Tell me the cause of all this, for

albeit thou art a very old man, assuredly thy wits are weak." Now when

I heard these words from the Caliph I sprang to my feet and replied,

"Know, O Prince of the Faithful, that I am the Silent Shaykh and am

thus called to distinguish me from my six brothers. I am a man of

immense learning whilst, as for the gravity of my understanding, the

wiliness of my wits and the spareness of my speech, there is no end of

them; and my calling is that of a barber. I went out early on yesterday

morning and saw these men making for a skiff; and, fancying they were

bound for a marriage feast, I joined them and mixed with them. After a

while up came the watch and guardians of the peace, who put chains

round their necks and round mine with the rest; but, in the excess of

my courtesy, I held my peace and spake not a word; nor was this other

but generosity on my part. They brought us into thy presence, and thou

gavest an order to smite the necks of the ten; yet did I not make

myself known to thee and remained silent before the Sworder, purely of

my great generosity and courtesy which led me to share with them in

their death. But all my life long have I dealt thus nobly with mankind,

and they requite me the foulest and evillest requital!" When the Caliph

heard my words and knew that I was a man of exceeding generosity and of

very few words, one in whom is no forwardness (as this youth would have

it whom I rescued from mortal risk and who hath so scurvily repaid me),

he laughed with excessive laughter till he fell upon his back. Then

said he to me, "O Silent Man, do thy six brothers favour thee in wisdom

and knowledge and spareness of speech?" I replied, "Never were they

like me! Thou puttest reproach upon me, O Commander of the Faithful,

and it becomes thee not to even my brothers with me; for, of the

abundance of their speech and their deficiency of courtesy and gravity,

each one of them hath gotten some maim or other. One is a monocular,

another palsied, a third stone blind, a fourth cropped of ears and nose

and a fifth shorn of both lips, while the sixth is a hunchback and a

cripple. And conceive not, O Commander of the Faithful, that I am

prodigal of speech; but I must perforce explain to thee that I am a man

of greater worth and fewer words than any of them. From each one of my

brothers hangs a tale of how he came by his bodily defect and these I

will relate to thee." So the Caliph gave ear to

The Barber’s Tale of his First Brother.

Know then, O Commander of the Faithful, that my first brother, Al

Bakbuk, the Prattler, is a Hunchback who took to tailoring in Baghdad,

and he used to sew in a shop hired from a man of much wealth, who dwelt

over the shop,[FN#635] and there was also a flour-mill in the basement.

One day as my brother, the Hunchback, was sitting in his shop a

tailoring, he chanced to raise his head and saw a lady like the rising

full moon at a balconied window of his landlord's house, engaged in

looking out at the passers by.[FN#636] When my brother beheld her, his

heart was taken with love of her and he passed his whole day gazing at

her and neglected his tailoring till eventide. Next morning he opened

his shop and sat him down to sew; but, as often as he stitched a

stitch, he looked to the window and saw her as before; and his passion

and infatuation for her increased. On the third day as he was sitting

in his usual place gazing on her, she caught sight of him and,

perceiving that he had been captivated with love of her, laughed in his

face[FN#637] and he smiled back at her. Then she disappeared and

presently sent her slave girl to him with a bundle containing a piece

of red flowered silk. The handmaid accosted him and said, "My lady

salameth to thee and desireth thee, of thy skill and good will, to

fashion for her a shift of this piece and to sew it handsomely with thy

best sewing. He replied, "Hearkening and obedience"; and shaped for her

a chemise and finished sewing it the same day. When the morning

morrowed the girl came back and said to him, "My lady salameth to thee

and asks how thou hast passed yesternight; for she hath not tasted

sleep by reason of her heart being taken up with thee. Then she laid

before him a piece of yellow satin and said, My lady biddeth thee cut

her two pair of petticoat trousers out of this piece and sew them this

very day." "Hearkening and obedience!' replied he, "greet her for me

with many greetings and say to her, Thy slave is obedient to thine

order; so command him as thou wilt." Then he applied himself to cutting

out and worked hard at sewing the trousers; and after an hour the lady

appeared at the lattice and saluted him by signs, now casting down her

eyes, then smiling in his face, and he began to assure himself that he

would soon make a conquest. She did not let him stir till he had

finished the two pair of trousers, when she with drew and sent the

handmaid to whom he delivered them; and she took them and went her

ways. When it was night, he threw himself on his carpet bed, and lay

tossing about from side to side till morning, when he rose and sat down

in his place. Presently the damsel came to him and said, "My master

calleth for thee." Hearing these words he feared with exceeding fear;

but the slave girl, seeing his affright, said to him, "No evil is meant

to thee: naught but good awaiteth thee. My lady would have thee make

acquaintance with my lord." So my brother the tailor, rejoicing with

great joy, went with her; and when he came into the presence of his

landlord, the lady's husband, he kissed the ground before him, and the

master of the house returned his greeting and gave him a great piece of

linen saying, "Shape me shirts out of this stuff and sew them well;"

and my brother answered, "To hear is to obey." Thereupon he fell to

work at once, snipping, shaping and sewing till he had finished twenty

shirts by supper time, without stopping to taste food. The house master

asked him, "How much the wage for this?"; and he answered, "Twenty

dirhams." So the gentleman cried out to the slave girl, "Bring me

twenty dirhams," and my brother spake not a word; but the lady signed,

"Take nothing from him;' whereupon my brother said, "By Allah I will

take naught from thy hand. And he carried off his tailor's gear and

returned to his shop, although he was destitute even to a red

cent.[FN#638] Then he applied himself to do their work; eating, in his

zeal and diligence, but a bit of bread and drinking only a little water

for three days. At the end of this time came the handmaid and said to

him, "What hast thou done?" Quoth he, "They are finished," and carried

the shirts to the lady's husband, who would have paid him his hire: but

he said, "I will take nothing," for fear of her and, returning to his

shop, passed the night without sleep because of his hunger. Now the

dame had informed her husband how the case stood (my brother knowing

naught of this); and the two had agreed to make him tailor for nothing,

the better to mock and laugh at him. Next morning he went to his shop,

and, as he sat there, the handmaid came to him and said, "Speak with my

master." So he accompanied her to the husband who said to him, "I wish

thee to cut out for me five long sleeved robes."[FN#639] So he cut them

out[FN#640] and took the stuff and went away. Then he sewed them and

carried them to the gentleman, who praised his sewing and offered him a

purse of silver. He put out his hand to take it, but the lady signed to

him from behind her husband not to do so, and he replied, "O my lord,

there is no hurry, we have time enough for this." Then he went forth

from the house meaner and meeker than a donkey, for verily five things

were gathered together in him viz.: love, beggary, hunger, nakedness

and hard labour. Nevertheless he heartened himself with the hope of

gaining the lady's favours. When he had made an end of all their jobs,

they played him another trick and married him to their slave girl; but,

on the night when he thought to go in to her, they said to him, "Lie

this night in the mill; and to morrow all will go well." My brother

concluded that there was some good cause for this and nighted alone in

the mill. Now the husband had set on the miller to make the tailor turn

the mill: so when night was half spent the man came in to him and began

to say, "This bull of ours hath be come useless and standeth still

instead of going round: he will not turn the mill this night, and yet

we have great store of corn to be ground. However, I'll yoke him

perforce and make him finish grinding it before morning, as the folk

are impatient for their flour." So he filled the hoppers with grain

and, going up to my brother with a rope in his hand, tied it round his

neck and said to him, "Gee up! Round with the mill! thou, O bull,

wouldst do nothing but grub and stale and dung!" Then he took a whip

and laid it on the shoulders and calves of my brother, who began to

howl and bellow; but none came to help him; and he was forced to grind

the wheat till hard upon dawn, when the house master came in and,

seeing my brother still tethered to the yoke and the man flogging him,

went away. At day break the miller returned home and left him still

yoked and half dead; and soon after in came the slave girl who unbound

him, and said to him, "I and my lady are right sorry for what hath

happened and we have borne thy grief with thee." But he had no tongue

wherewith to answer her from excess of beating and mill turning. Then

he retired to his lodging and behold, the clerk who had drawn up the

marriage deed came to him[FN#641] and saluted him, saying, "Allah give

thee long life! May thy espousal be blessed! This face telleth of

pleasant doings and dalliance and kissing and clipping from dusk to

dawn." "Allah grant the liar no peace, O thou thousandfold cuckold!",

my brother replied, "by Allah, I did nothing but turn the mill in the

place of the bull all night till morning!" "Tell me thy tale," quoth

he; and my brother recounted what had befallen him and he said, "Thy

star agrees not with her star; but an thou wilt I can alter the

contract for thee," adding, "'Ware lest another cheat be not in store

for thee." And my brother answered him, "See if thou have not another

contrivance." Then the clerk left him and he sat in his shop, looking

for some one to bring him a job whereby he might earn his day's bread.

Presently the handmaid came to him and said, "Speak with my lady."

"Begone, O my good girl," replied he, "there shall be no more dealings

between me and thy lady." The handmaid returned to her mistress and

told her what my brother had said and presently she put her head out of

the window, weeping and saying, "Why, O my beloved, are there to be no

more dealings 'twixt me and thee?" But he made her no answer. Then she

wept and conjured him, swearing that all which had befallen him in the

mill was not sanctioned by her and that she was innocent of the whole

matter. When he looked upon her beauty and loveliness and heard the

sweetness of her speech, the sorrow which had possessed him passed from

his heart; he accepted her excuse and he rejoiced in her sight. So he

saluted her and talked with her and sat tailoring awhile, after which

the handmaid came to him and said, "My mistress greeteth thee and

informeth thee that her husband purposeth to lie abroad this night in

the house of some intimate friends of his; so, when he is gone, do thou

come to us and spend the night with my lady in delightsomest joyance

till the morning." Now her husband had asked her, "How shall we manage

to turn him away from thee?"; and she answered, "Leave me to play him

another trick and make him a laughing stock for all the town." But my

brother knew naught of the malice of women. As soon as it was dusk, the

slave girl came to him and carried him to the house, and when the lady

saw him she said to him, "By Allah, O my lord, I have been longing

exceedingly for thee." "By Allah," cried he, "kiss me quick before thou

give me aught else."[FN#642] Hardly had he spoken, when the lady's

husband came in from the next room[FN#643] and seized him, saying, "By

Allah, I will not let thee go, till I deliver thee to the chief of the

town watch." My brother humbled himself to him; but he would not listen

to him and carried him before the Prefect who gave him an hundred

lashes with a whip and, mounting him on a camel, promenaded him round

about the city, whilst the guards proclaimed aloud, "This is his reward

who violateth the Harims of honourable men!" Moreover, he fell off the

camel and broke his leg and so became lame. Then the Prefect banished

him from the city; and he went forth unknowing whither he should wend;

but I heard of him and fearing for him went out after him and brought

him back secretly to the city and restored him to health and took him

into my house where he still liveth. The Caliph laughed at my story and

said, "Thou hast done well, O Samit, O Silent Man, O spare of speech!";

and he bade me take a present and go away. But I said, "I will accept

naught of thee except I tell thee what befell all my other brothers;

and do not think me a man of many words." So the Caliph gave ear to

The Barber’s Tale of his Second Brother.

Know, O Commander of the Faithful, that my second brother's name was

Al-Haddar, that is the Babbler, and he was the paralytic. Now it

happened to him one day, as he was going about his business, that an

old woman accosted him and said, "Stop a little, my good man, that I

may tell thee of somewhat which, if it be to thy liking, thou shalt do

for me and I will pray Allah to give thee good of it!" My brother

stopped and she went on, "I will put thee in the way of a certain

thing, so thou not be prodigal of speech." "On with thy talk," quoth

he; and she, "What sayest thou to handsome quarters and a fair garden

with flowing waters, flowers blooming, and fruit growing, and old wine

going and a pretty young face whose owner thou mayest embrace from dark

till dawn? If thou do whatso I bid thee thou shalt see something

greatly to thy advantage." "And is all this in the world?" asked my

brother; and she answered, "Yes, and it shall be thine, so thou be

reasonable and leave idle curiosity and many words, and do my bidding."

"I will indeed, O my lady," said he, "how is it thou hast preferred me

in this matter before all men and what is it that so much pleaseth thee

in me?" Quoth she, "Did I not bid thee be spare of speech? Hold thy

peace and follow me. Know, that the young lady, to whom I shall carry

thee, loveth to have her own way and hateth being thwarted and all who

gainsay; so, if thou humour her, thou shalt come to thy desire of her."

And my brother said, "I will not cross her in anything." Then she went

on and my brother followed her, an hungering after what she described

to him till they entered a fine large house, handsome and choicely

furnished, full of eunuchs and servants and showing signs of prosperity

from top to bottom. And she was carrying him to the upper story when

the people of the house said to him, "What dost thou here?" But the old

woman answered them, "Hold your peace and trouble him not: he is a

workman and we have occasion for him." Then she brought him into a fine

great pavilion, with a garden in its midst, never eyes saw a fairer;

and made him sit upon a handsome couch. He had not sat long, be fore he

heard a loud noise and in came a troop of slave girls surrounding a

lady like the moon on the night of its fullest. When he saw her, he

rose up and made an obeisance to her, whereupon she welcomed him and

bade him be seated. So he sat down and she said to him, "Allah advance

thee to honour! Is all well with thee?" "O my lady," he answered, "all

with me is right well." Then she bade bring in food, and they set

before her delicate viands; so she sat down to eat, making a show of

affection to my brother and jesting with him, though all the while she

could not refrain from laughing; but as often as he looked at her, she

signed towards her handmaidens as though she were laughing at them. My

brother (the ass!) understood nothing; but, in the excess of his

ridiculous passion, he fancied that the lady was in love with him and

that she would soon grant him his desire. When they had done eating,

they set on the wine and there came in ten maidens like moons, with

lutes ready strung in their hands, and fell to singing with full

voices, sweet and sad, whereupon delight gat hold upon him and he took

the cup from the lady's hands and drank it standing. Then she drank a

cup of wine and my brother (still standing) said to her "Health," and

bowed to her. She handed him another cup and he drank it off, when she

slapped him hard on the nape of his neck.[FN#644] Upon this my brother

would have gone out of the house in anger; but the old woman followed

him and winked to him to return. So he came back and the lady bade him

sit and he sat down without a word. Then she again slapped him on the

nape of his neck; and the second slapping did not suffice her, she must

needs make all her handmaidens also slap and cuff him, while he kept

saying to the old woman, "I never saw aught nicer than this." She on

her side ceased not exclaiming, "Enough, enough, I conjure thee, O my

mistress!"; but the women slapped him till he well nigh swooned away.

Presently my brother rose and went out to obey a call of nature, but

the old woman overtook him, and said, "Be patient a little and thou

shalt win to thy wish." "How much longer have I to wait," my brother

replied, "this slapping hath made me feel faint." "As soon as she is

warm with wine," answered she, "thou shalt have thy desire." So he

returned to his place and sat down, where upon all the handmaidens

stood up and the lady bade them perfume him with pastiles and

besprinkle his face with rose-water. Then said she to him, "Allah

advance thee to honour! Thou hast entered my house and hast borne with

my conditions, for whoso thwarteth me I turn him away, and whoso is

patient hath his desire." "O mistress mine," said he, "I am thy slave

and in the hollow of thine hand!" "Know, then," continued she, "that

Allah hath made me passionately fond of frolic; and whoso falleth in

with my humour cometh by whatso he wisheth." Then she ordered her

maidens to sing with loud voices till the whole company was delighted;

after which she said to one of them, "Take thy lord, and do what is

needful for him and bring him back to me forthright." So the damsel

took my brother (and he not knowing what she would do with him); but

the old woman overtook him and said, "Be patient; there remaineth but

little to do." At this his face brightened and he stood up before the

lady while the old woman kept saying, "Be patient; thou wilt now at

once win to thy wish!"; till he said, "Tell me what she would have the

maiden do with me?" "Nothing but good," replied she, "as I am thy

sacrifice! She wisheth only to dye thy eyebrows and pluck out thy

mustachios." Quoth he, "As for the dyeing of my eye brows, that will

come off with washing,[FN#645] but for the plucking out of my

mustachios, that indeed is a somewhat painful process." "Be cautious

how thou cross her," cried the old woman; "for she hath set her heart

on thee." So my brother patiently suffered her to dye his eyebrows and

pluck out his mustachios, after which the maiden returned to her

mistress and told her. Quoth she "Remaineth now only one other thing to

be done; thou must shave his beard and make him a smooth o'

face."[FN#646] So the maiden went back and told him what her mistress

had bidden her do; and my brother (the blockhead!) said to her, "How

shall I do what will disgrace me before the folk?" But the old woman

said, "She would do on this wise only that thou mayst be as a beardless

youth and that no hair be left on thy face to scratch and prick her

delicate cheeks; for indeed she is passionately in love with thee. So

be patient and thou shalt attain thine object." My brother was patient

and did her bidding and let shave off his beard and, when he was

brought back to the lady, lo! he appeared dyed red as to his eyebrows,

plucked of both mustachios, shorn of his beard, rouged on both cheeks.

At first she was affrighted at him; then she made mockery of him and,

laughing till she fell upon her back, said, "O my lord, thou hast

indeed won my heart by thy good nature!" Then she conjured him, by her

life, to stand up and dance, and he arose, and capered about, and there

was not a cushion in the house but she threw it at his head, and in

like manner did all her women who also kept pelting him with oranges

and lemons and citrons till he fell down senseless from the cuffing on

the nape of the neck, the pillowing and the fruit pelting. "Now thou

hast attained thy wish," said the old woman when he came round; "there

are no more blows in store for thee and there remaineth but one little

thing to do. It is her wont, when she is in her cups, to let no one

have her until she put off her dress and trousers and remain stark

naked.[FN#647] Then she will bid thee doff thy clothes and run; and she

will run before thee as if she were flying from thee; and do thou

follow her from place to place till thy prickle stands at fullest

point, when she will yield to thee;"[FN#648] adding, "Strip off thy

clothes at once." So he rose, well nigh lost in ecstasy and, doffing

his raiment, showed himself mother naked.—And Shahrazad perceived the

dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Thirty-second Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the old

woman said to the Barber's second brother, "Doff thy clothes," he rose,

well nigh lost in ecstasy; and, stripping off his raiment, showed

himself mother naked. Whereupon the lady stripped also and said to my

brother, "If thou want anything run after me till thou catch me." Then

she set out at a run and he ran after her while she rushed into room

after room and rushed out of room after room, my brother scampering

after her in a rage of desire like a veritable madman, with yard

standing terribly tall. After much of this kind she dashed into a

darkened place, and he dashed after her; but suddenly he trod upon a

yielding spot, which gave way under his weight; and, before he was

aware where he was, he found himself in the midst of a crowded market,

part of the bazar of the leather sellers who were crying the prices of

skins and hides and buying and selling. When they saw him in his

plight, naked, with standing yard, shorn of beard and mustachios, with

eyebrows dyed red, and cheeks ruddied with rouge, they shouted and

clapped their hands at him, and set to flogging him with skins upon his

bare body till a swoon came over him. Then they threw him on the back

of an ass and carried him to the Chief of Police. Quoth the Chief,

"What is this?" Quoth they, "This fellow fell suddenly upon us out of

the Wazir's house[FN#649] in this state." So the Prefect gave him an

hundred lashes and then banished him from Baghdad. However I went out

after him and brought him back secretly into the city and made him a

daily allowance for his living: although, were it not for my generous

humour, I could not have put up with the like of him. Then the Caliph

gave ear to

The Barber’s Tale of his Third Brother.

My third brother's name was Al-Fakík, the Gabbler, who was blind. One

day Fate and Fortune drove him to a fine large house, and he knocked at

the door, desiring speech of its owner that he might beg somewhat of

him. Quoth the master of the house, "Who is at the door?" But my

brother spake not a word and presently he heard him repeat with a loud

voice, "Who is this?" Still he made no answer and immediately heard the

master walk to the door and open it and say, "What dost thou want?" My

brother answered "Something for Allah Almighty's sake."[FN#650] "Art

thou blind?" asked the man, and my brother answered "Yes." Quoth the

other, "Stretch me out thy hand." So my brother put out his hand

thinking that he would give him something; but he took it and, drawing

him into the house, carried him up from stair to stair till they

reached the terrace on the house top, my brother thinking the while

that he would surely give him something of food or money. Then he asked

my brother, "What dost thou want, O blind man?" and he answered,

"Something for the Almighty's sake." "Allah open for thee some other

door!" "O thou! why not say so when I was below stairs?" "O cadger, why

not answer me when I first called to thee?" "And what meanest thou to

do for me now?" "There is nothing in the house to give thee." "Then

take me down the stair." "The path is before thee." So my brother rose

and made his way downstairs, till he came within twenty steps of the

door, when his foot slipped and he rolled to the bottom and broke his

head. Then he went out, unknowing whither to turn, and presently fell

in with two other blind men, companions of his, who said to him, "What

didst thou gain to day?" He told them what had befallen him and added,

"O my brothers, I wish to take some of the money in my hands and

provide myself with it." Now the master of the house had followed him

and was listening to what they said; but neither my brother nor his

comrades knew of this. So my brother went to his lodging and sat down

to await his companions, and the house owner entered after him without

being perceived. When the other blind men arrived, my brother said to

them, "Bolt the door and search the house lest any stranger have

followed us." The man, hearing this, caught hold of a cord that hung

from the ceiling and clung to it, whilst they went round about the

house and searched but found no one. So they came back, and, sitting

beside my brother, brought out their money which they counted and lo!

it was twelve thousand dirhams. Each took what he wanted and they

buried the rest in a corner of the room. Then they set on food and sat

down, to eat. Presently my brother, hearing a strange pair of jaws

munching by his side,[FN#651] said to his friends, "There is a stranger

amongst us;" and, putting forth his hand, caught hold of that of the

house master. Thereupon all fell on him and beat him;[FN#652] and when

tired of belabouring him they shouted, "O ye Moslems! a thief is come

in to us, seeking to take our money!" A crowd gathered around them,

whereupon the intruder hung on to them; and complained with them as

they complained, and, shutting his eyes like them, so that none might

doubt his blindness, cried out, "O Moslems, I take refuge with Allah

and the Governor, for I have a matter to make known to him!" Suddenly

up came the watch and, laying hands on the whole lot (my brother being

amongst them), drove them[FN#653] to the Governor's who set them before

him and asked, "What news with you?" Quoth the intruder, "Look and find

out for thyself, not a word shall be wrung from us save by torture, so

begin by beating me and after me beat this man our leader."[FN#654] And

he pointed to my brother. So they threw the man at full length and gave

him four hundred sticks on his backside. The beating pained him,

whereupon he opened one eye and, as they redoubled their blows, he

opened the other eye. When the Governor saw this he said to him, "What

have we here, O accursed?"; whereto he replied, "Give me the seal-ring

of pardon! We four have shammed blind, and we impose upon people that

we may enter houses and look upon the unveiled faces of the women and

contrive for their corruption. In this way we have gotten great gain

and our store amounts to twelve thousand dirhams. Said I to my company,

'Give me my share, three thousand;' but they rose and beat me and took

away my money, and I seek refuge with Allah and with thee; better thou

have my share than they. So, if thou wouldst know the truth of my

words, beat one and every of the others more than thou hast beaten me,

and he will surely open his eyes." The Governor gave orders for the

question to begin with my brother, and they bound him to the whipping

post,[FN#655] and the Governor said, "O scum of the earth, do ye abuse

the gracious gifts of Allah and make as if ye were blind!" "Allah!

Allah!" cried my brother, "by Allah, there is none among us who can

see." Then they beat him till he swooned away and the Governor cried,

"Leave him till he come to and then beat him again." After this he

caused each of the companions to receive more than three hundred

sticks, whilst the sham-abraham kept saying to them "Open your eyes or

you will be beaten afresh." At last the man said to the Governor,

"Dispatch some one with me to bring thee the money; for these fellows

will not open their eyes, lest they incur disgrace before the folk." So

the Governor sent to fetch the money and gave the man his pretended

share, three thousand dirhams; and, keeping the rest for himself,

banished the three blind men from the city. But I, O Commander of the

Faithful, went out and overtaking my brother questioned him of his

case; whereupon he told me of what I have told thee; so I brought him

secretly into the city, and appointed him (in the strictest privacy) an

allowance for meat and drink! The Caliph laughed at my story and said,

"Give him a gift and let him go;" but I said, "By Allah! I will take

naught till I have made known to the Commander of the Faithful what

came to pass with the rest of my brothers; for truly I am a man of few

words and spare of speech." Then the Caliph gave ear to

The Barber’s Tale of his Fourth Brother.

Now as for my fourth brother, O Commander of the Faithful, Al-Kuz

al-aswáni, or the long necked Gugglet hight, from his brimming over

with words, the same who was blind of one eye, he became a butcher in

Baghdad and he sold flesh and fattened rams; and great men and rich

bought their meat of him, so that he amassed much wealth and got him

cattle and houses. He fared thus a long while, till one day, as he was

sitting in his shop, there came up an old man and long o' the beard,

who laid down some silver and said, "Give me meat for this." He gave

him his money s worth of flesh and the oldster went his ways. My

brother examined the Shaykh's silver, and, seeing that the dirhams were

white and bright, he set them in a place apart. The greybeard continued

to return to the shop regularly for five months, and my brother ceased

not to lay up all the coin he received from him in its own box. At last

he thought to take out the money to buy sheep; so he opened the box and

found in it nothing, save bits of white paper cut round to look like

coin;[FN#656] so he buffeted his face and cried aloud till the folk

gathered about him, whereupon he told them his tale which made them

marvel exceedingly. Then he rose as was his wont, and slaughtering a

ram hung it up inside his shop; after which he cut off some of the

flesh, and hanging it outside kept saying to himself, "O Allah, would

the ill omened old fellow but come!" And an hour had not passed before

the Shaykh came with his silver in hand; where upon my brother rose and

caught hold of him calling out, "Come aid me, O Moslems, and learn my

story with this villain!" When the old man heard this, he quietly said

to him, "Which will be the better for thee, to let go of me or to be

disgraced by me amidst the folk?" "In what wilt thou disgrace me?" "In

that thou sellest man's flesh for mutton!" "Thou liest, thou accursed!"

"Nay, he is the accursed who hath a man hanging up by way of meat in

his shop. If the matter be as thou sayest, I give thee lawful leave to

take my money and my life." Then the old man cried out aloud, "Ho, ye

people! if you would prove the truth of my words, enter this man's

shop." The folk rushed in and found that the ram was become a dead

man[FN#657] hung up for sale. So they set upon my brother crying out,

"O Infidel! O villain!"; and his best friends fell to cuffing and

kicking him and kept saying, "Dost thou make us eat flesh of the sons

of Adam?" Furthermore, the old man struck him on the eye and put it

out. Then they carried the carcass, with the throat cut, before the

Chief of the city watch, to whom the old man said, "O Emir, this fellow

butchers men and sells their flesh for mutton and we have brought him

to thee; so arise and execute the judgments of Allah (to whom be honour

and glory!)." My brother would have defended himself, but the Chief

refused to hear him and sentenced him to receive five hundred sticks

and to forfeit the whole of his property. And, indeed, had it not been

for that same property which he expended in bribes, they would have

surely slain him. Then the Chief banished him from Baghdad; and my

brother fared forth at a venture, till he came to a great town, where

he thought it best to set up as a cobbler; so he opened a shop and sat

there doing what he could for his livelihood. One day, as he went forth

on his business, he heard the distant tramp of horses and, asking the

cause, was told that the King was going out to hunt and course; so my

brother stopped to look at the fine suite. It so fortuned that the

King's eye met my brother's; whereupon the King hung down his head and

said, "I seek refuge with Allah from the evil of this day!";[FN#658]

and turned the reins of his steed and returned home with all his

retinue. Then he gave orders to his guards, who seized my brother and

beat him with a beating so painful that he was well nigh dead; and my

brother knew not what could be the cause of his maltreatment, after

which he returned to his place in sorriest plight. Soon afterwards he

went to one of the King's household and related what had happened to

him; and the man laughed till he fell upon his back and cried, "O

brother mine, know that the King cannot bear to look at a monocular,

especially if he be blind of the right eye, in which case he doth not

let him go without killing him." When my brother heard this, he

resolved to fly from that city; so he went forth from it to another

wherein none knew him and there he abode a long while. One day, being

full of sorrowful thought for what had befallen him, he sallied out to

solace himself; and, as he was walking along, he heard the distant

tramp of horses behind him and said, "The judgement of Allah is upon

me!" and looked about for a hiding place but found none. At last he saw

a closed door which he pushed hard: it yielded. and he entered a long

gallery in which he took refuge, but hardly had he done so, when two

men set upon him crying out, "Allah be thanked for having delivered

thee into our hands, O enemy of God! These three nights thou hast

robbed us of our rest and sleep, and verily thou hast made us taste of

the death cup." My brother asked, "O folk, what ails you?"; and they

answered, "Thou givest us the change and goest about to disgrace us and

plannest some plot to cut the throat of the house master! Is it not

enough that thou hast brought him to beggary, thou and thy fellows? But

now give us up the knife wherewith thou threatenest us every night."

Then they searched him and found in his waist belt the knife used for

his shoe leather; and he said, "O people, have the fear of Allah before

your eyes and maltreat me not, for know that my story is a right

strange!" "And what is thy story?" said they: so he told them what had

befallen him, hoping they would let him go; however they paid no heed

to what he said and, instead of showing some regard, beat him

grievously and tore off his clothes: then, finding on his sides the

scars of beating with rods, they said, "O accursed! these marks are the

manifest signs of thy guilt!" They carried him before the Governor,

whilst he said to himself, "I am now punished for my sins and none can

deliver me save Allah Almighty!" The Governor addressing my brother

asked him, "O villain, what led thee to enter their house with

intention to murther?"; and my brother answered, "I conjure thee by

Allah, O Emir, hear my words and be not hasty in condemning me!" But

the Governor cried, "Shall we listen to the words of a robber who hath

beggared these people, and who beareth on his back the scar of his

stripes?" adding, "They surely had not done this to thee, save for some

great crime." So he sentenced him to receive an hundred cuts with the

scourge, after which they set him on a camel and paraded him about the

city, proclaiming, "This is the requital and only too little to requite

him who breaketh into people's houses." Then they thrust him out of the

city, and my brother wandered at random, till I heard what had befallen

him; and, going in search of him, questioned him of his case; so he

acquainted me with his story and all his mischances, and I carried him

secretly to the city where I made him an allowance for his meat and

drink. Then the Caliph gave ear to

The Barber’s Tale of his Fifth Brother.

My fifth brother, Al-Nashshár,[FN#659] the Babbler, the same who was

cropped of both ears, O Commander of the Faithful, was an asker wont to

beg of folk by night and live on their alms by day. Now when our

father, who was an old man well stricken in years sickened and died, he

left us seven hundred dirhams whereof each son took his hundred; but,

as my fifth brother received his portion, he was perplexed and knew not

what to do with it. While in this uncertainty he bethought him to lay

it out on glass ware of all sorts and turn an honest penny on its

price. So he bought an hundred dirhams worth of verroterie and, putting

it into a big tray, sat down to sell it on a bench at the foot of a

wall against which he leant back. As he sat with the tray before him he

fell to musing and said to himself, "Know, O my good Self, that the

head of my wealth, my principal invested in this glass ware, is an

hundred dirhams. I will assuredly sell it for two hundred with which I

will forthright buy other glass and make by it four hundred; nor will I

cease to sell and buy on this wise, till I have gotten four thousand

and soon find myself the master of much money. With these coins I will

buy merchandise and jewels and ottars[FN#660] and gain great profit on

them; till, Allah willing, I will make my capital an hundred thousand

dirhams. Then I will purchase a fine house with white slaves and

eunuchs and horses; and I will eat and drink and disport myself; nor

will I leave a singing man or a singing woman in the city, but I will

summon them to my palace and make them perform before me." All this he

counted over in his mind, while the tray of glass ware,: worth an

hundred dirhams, stood on the bench before him, and, after looking at

it, he continued, "And when, Inshallah! my capital shall have become

one hundred thousand[FN#661] dinars, I will send out marriage

brokeresses to require for me in wedlock the daughters of Kings and

Wazirs; and I will demand to wife the eldest daughter of the Prime

Minister; for it hath reached me that she is perfect in beauty and

prime in loveliness and rare in accomplishments. I will give a marriage

settlement of one thousand dinars; and, if her father consent, well:

but if not I will take her by force from under his very nose. When she

is safely homed in my house, I will buy ten little eunuchs[FN#662] and

for myself a robe of the robes of Kings and Sultans; and get me a

saddle of gold and a bridle set thick with gems of price. Then I will

mount with the Mamelukes preceding me and surrounding me, and I will

make the round of the city whilst the folk salute me and bless me;

after which I will repair to the Wazir (he that is father of the girl)

with armed white slaves before and behind me and on my right and on my

left. When he sees me, the Wazir stands up, and seating me in his own

place sits down much below me; for that I am to be his son in law. Now

I have with me two eunuchs carrying purses, each containing a thousand

dinars; and of these I deliver to him the thousand, his daughter's

marriage settlement, and make him a free gift of the other thousand,

that he may have reason to know my generosity and liberality and my

greatness of spirit and the littleness of the world in my eyes. And for

ten words he addresses to me I answer him two. Then back I go to my

house, and if one come to me on the bride's part, I make him a present

of money and throw on him a dress of honour; but if he bring me a gift,

I give it back to him and refuse to accept it,[FN#663] that they may

learn what a proud spirit is mine which never condescends to derogate.

Thus I establish my rank and status. When this is done I appoint her

wedding night and adorn my house showily! gloriously! And as the time

for parading the bride is come, I don my finest attire and sit down on

a mattress of gold brocade, propping up my elbow with a pillow, and

turning neither to the right nor to the left; but looking only straight

in front for the haughtiness of my mind and the gravity of my

understanding. And there before me stands my wife in her raiment and

ornaments, lovely as the full moon; and I, in my loftiness and dread

lordliness,[FN#664] will not glance at her till those present say to

me, 'O our lord and our master, thy wife, thy handmaid, standeth before

thee; vouchsafe her one look, for standing wearieth her.' Then they

kiss the ground before me many times; whereupon I raise my eyes and

cast at her one single glance and turn my face earthwards again. Then

they bear her off to the bride chamber,[FN#665] and I arise and change

my clothes for a far finer suit; and, when they bring in the bride a

second time, I deign not to throw her a look till they have begged me

many times; after which I glance at her out of the corner of one eye,

and then bend down my head. I continue acting after this fashion till

the parading and displaying are completed[FN#666]"—And Shahrazad

perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When It was the Thirty-third Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Barber's

fifth brother proceeded:—"Then I bend down my head and continue acting

after this fashion till her parading and displaying are completed.

Thereupon I order one of my eunuchs to bring me a bag of five hundred

dinars which I give as largesse to the tire women present and bid them

one and all lead me to the bride chamber. When they leave me alone with

her I neither look at her nor speak to her, but lie[FN#667] by her side

with my face to the wall showing my contempt, that each and every may

again remark how high and haughty I am. Presently her mother comes in

to me, and kissing[FN#668] my head and hand, says to me, 'O my lord,

look upon thine handmaid who longs for thy favour; so heal her broken

spirit!' I give her no answer; and when she sees this she rises and

busses my feet many times and says, 'O my lord, in very sooth my

daughter is a beautiful maid, who hath never known man; and if thou

show her this backwardness and aversion, her heart will break; so do

thou incline to her and speak to her and soothe her mind and spirit.'

Then she rises and fetches a cup of wine; and says to her daughter,

'Take it and hand it to thy lord.' But as she approaches me I leave her

standing between my hands and sit, propping my elbow on a round cushion

purfled with gold thread, leaning lazily back, and without looking at

her in the majesty of my spirit, so that she may deem me indeed a

Sultan and a mighty man. Then she says to me, 'O my lord, Allah upon

thee, do not refuse to take the cup from the hand of thine hand maid,

for verily I am thy bondswoman.' But I do not speak to her and she

presses me, saying, 'There is no help but that thou drink it;' and she

puts it to my lips. Then I shake my fist in her face and kick her with

my foot thus." So he let out with his toe and knocked over the tray of

glass ware which fell to the ground and, falling from the bench, all

that was on it was broken to bits. 'O foulest of pimps,[FN#669] this

comes from the pride of my spirit'" cried my brother; and then, O

Commander of the Faithful, he buffeted his face and rent his garments

and kept on weeping and beating himself. The folk who were flocking to

their Friday prayers saw him; and some of them looked at him and pitied

him, whilst others paid no heed to him, and in this way my brother lost

both capital and profit. He remained weeping a long while, and at last

up came a beautiful lady, the scent of musk exhaling from her, who was

going to Friday prayers riding a mule with a gold saddle and followed

by several eunuchs. When she saw the broken glass and my brother

weeping, her kind heart was moved to pity for him, and she asked what

ailed him and was told that he had a tray full of glass ware by the

sale of which he hoped to gain his living, but it was broken, and (said

they), "there befell him what thou seest." Thereupon she called up one

of her eunuchs and said to him, Give what thou hast with thee to this

poor fellow!". And he gave my brother a purse in which he found five

hundred dinars; and when it touched his hand he was well nigh dying for

excess of joy and he offered up blessings for her. Then he returned to

his abode a substantial man; and, as he sat considering, some one

rapped at the door. So he rose and opened and saw an old woman whom he

had never seen. "O my son," said she, "know that prayer tide is near

and I have not yet made my Wuzu-ablution;[FN#670] so kindly allow me

the use of thy lodging for the purpose." My brother answered, "To hear

is to comply;" and going in bade her follow him. So she entered and he

brought her an ewer wherewith to wash, and sat down like to fly with

joy because of the dinars which he had tied up in his belt for a purse.

When the old woman had made an end of her ablution, she came up to

where he sat, and prayed a two bow prayer; after which she blessed my

brother with a godly benediction, and he while thanking her put his

hand to the dinars and gave her two, saying to himself "These are my

voluntaries."[FN#671] When she saw the gold she cried, "Praise be to

Allah! why dost thou look on one who loveth thee as if she were a

beggar? Take back thy money: I have no need of it; or, if thou want it

not, return it to her who gave it thee when thy glass ware was broken.

Moreover, if thou wish to be united with her, I can manage the matter,

for she is my mistress." "O my mother," asked my brother, "by what

manner of means can I get at her?"; and she answered, "O my son! she

hath an inclination for thee, but she is the wife of a wealthy man; so

take the whole of thy money with thee and follow me, that I may guide

thee to thy desire: and when thou art in her company spare neither

persuasion nor fair words, but bring them all to bear upon her; so

shalt thou enjoy her beauty and wealth to thy heart's content." My

brother took all his gold and rose and followed the old woman, hardly

believing in his luck. She ceased not faring on, and my brother

following her, till they came to a tall gate at which she knocked and a

Roumi slave-girl[FN#672] came out and opened to them. Then the old

woman led my brother into a great sitting room spread with wondrous

fine carpets and hung with curtains, where he sat down with his gold

before him, and his turband on his knee.[FN#673] He had scarcely taken

seat before there came to him a young lady (never eye saw fairer) clad

in garments of the most sumptuous; whereupon my brother rose to his

feet, and she smiled in his face and welcomed him, signing to him to be

seated. Then she bade shut the door and, when it was shut, she turned

to my brother, and taking his hand conducted him to a private chamber

furnished with various kinds of brocades and gold cloths. Here he sat

down and she sat by his side and toyed with him awhile; after which she

rose and saying, "Stir not from thy seat till I come back to thee;"

disappeared. Meanwhile as he was on this wise, lo! there came in to him

a black slave big of body and bulk and holding a drawn sword in hand,

who said to him, "Woe to thee! Who brought thee hither and what dost

thou want here?" My brother could not return him a reply, being tongue

tied for terror; so the blackamoor seized him and stripped him of his

clothes and bashed him with the flat of his sword blade till he fell to

the ground, swooning from excess of belabouring. The ill omened nigger

fancied that there was an end of him and my brother heard him cry,

"Where is the salt wench?"[FN#674] Where upon in came a handmaid

holding in hand a large tray of salt, and the slave kept rubbing it

into my brother's wounds;[FN#675] but he did not stir fearing lest the

slave might find out that he was not dead and kill him outright. Then

the salt girl went away, and the slave cried Where is the

souterrain[FN#676] guardianess?" Hereupon in came the old woman and

dragged my brother by his feet to a souterrain and threw him down upon

a heap of dead bodies. In this place he lay two full days, but Allah

made the salt the means of preserving his life by staunching the blood

and staying its flow Presently, feeling himself able to move,

Al-Nashshar rose and opened the trap door in fear and trembling and

crept out into the open; and Allah protected him, so that he went on in

the darkness and hid himself in the vestibule till dawn, when he saw

the accursed beldam sally forth in quest of other quarry. He followed

in her wake without her knowing it, and made for his own lodging where

he dressed his wounds and medicined himself till he was whole.

Meanwhile he used to watch the old woman, tracking her at all times and

seasons, and saw her accost one man after another and carry them to the

house. However he uttered not a word; but, as soon as he waxed hale and

hearty, he took a piece of stuff and made it into a bag which he filled

with broken glass and bound about his middle. He also disguised himself

as a Persian that none might know him, and hid a sword under his

clothes of foreign cut. Then he went out and presently, falling in with

the old woman, said to her, speaking Arabic with a Persian accent,

"Venerable lady,[FN#677] I am a stranger arrived but this day here

where I know no one. Hast thou a pair of scales wherein I may weigh

eleven hundred dinars? I will give thee somewhat of them for thy

pains." "I have a son, a money changer, who keepeth all kinds of

scales," she answered, "so come with me to him before he goeth out and

he will weigh thy gold." My brother answered "Lead the way!" She led

him to the house and the young lady herself came out and opened it,

whereupon the old woman smiled in her face and said, "I bring thee fat

meat today."[FN#678] Then the damsel took my brother by the hand, and

led him to the same chamber as before; where she sat with him awhile

then rose and went forth saying, "Stir not from thy seat till I come

back to thee." Presently in came the accursed slave with the drawn

sword and cried to my brother, "Up and be damned to thee." So he rose,

and as the slave walked on before him he drew the sword from under his

clothes and smote him with it, making head fly from body. Then he

dragged the corpse by the feet to the souterrain and called out, "Where

is the salt wench?" Up came the girl carrying the tray of salt and,

seeing my brother sword in hand, turned to fly; but he followed her and

struck off her head. Then he called out, "Where is the souterrain

guardianess? , and in came the old woman to whom he said, "Dost know me

again, ill omened hag?" "No my lord," she replied, and he said, "I am

the owner of the five hundred gold pieces, whose house thou enteredst

to make the ablution and to pray, and whom thou didst snare hither and

betray." "Fear Allah and spare me," cried she; but he regarded her not

and struck her with the sword till he had cut her in four. Then he went

to look for the young lady; and when she saw him her reason fled and

she cried out piteously "Aman![FN#679] Mercy!" So he spared her and

asked, "What made thee consort with this blackamoor?", and she

answered, "I was slave to a certain merchant, and the old woman used to

visit me till I took a liking to her. One day she said to me, 'We have

a marriage festival at our house the like of which was never seen and I

wish thee to enjoy the sight.' 'To hear is to obey,' answered I, and

rising arrayed myself in my finest raiment and ornaments, and took with

me a purse containing an hundred gold pieces. Then she brought me

hither and hardly had I entered the house when the black seized on me,

and I have remained in this case three whole years through the perfidy

of the accursed beldam." Then my brother asked her, "Is there anything

of his in the house?"; whereto she answered, "Great store of wealth,

and if thou art able to carry it away, do so and Allah give thee good

of it" My brother went with her and she opened to him sundry chests

wherein were money bags, at which he was astounded; then she said to

him, "Go now and leave me here, and fetch men to remove the money.", He

went out and hired ten men, but when he returned he found the door wide

open, the damsel gone and nothing left but some small matter of coin

and the household stuffs.[FN#680] By this he knew that the girl had

overreached him; so he opened the store rooms and seized what was in

them, together with the rest of the money, leaving nothing in the

house. He passed the night rejoicing, but when morning dawned he found

at the door some twenty troopers who laid hands on him saying, "The

Governor wants thee!" My brother implored them hard to let him return

to his house; and even offered them a large sum of money; but they

refused and, binding him fast with cords, carried him off. On the way

they met a friend of my brother who clung to his skirt and implored his

protection, begging him to stand by him and help to deliver him out of

their hands. The man stopped, and asked them what was the matter, and

they answered, "The Governor hath ordered us to bring this fellow

before him and, look ye, we are doing so." My brother's friend urged

them to release him, and offered them five hundred dinars to let him

go, saying, "When ye return to the Governor tell him that you were

unable to find him." But they would not listen to his words and took my

brother, dragging him along on his face, and set him before the

Governor who asked him, "Whence gottest thou these stuffs and monies?";

and he answered, "I pray for mercy!" So the Governor gave him the

kerchief of mercy;[FN#681] and he told him all that had befallen him

from first to last with the old woman and the flight of the damsel;

ending with, "Whatso I have taken, take of it what thou wilt, so thou

leave me sufficient to support life."[FN#682] But the Governor took the

whole of the stuffs and all the money for himself; and, fearing lest

the affair come to the Sultan's ears, he summoned my brother and said,

"Depart from this city, else I will hang thee." "Hearing and obedience"

quoth my brother and set out for another town. On the way thieves fell

foul of him and stripped and beat him and docked his ears; but I heard

tidings of his misfortunes and went out after him taking him clothes;

and brought him secretly into the city where I assigned to him an

allowance for meat and drink. And presently the Caliph gave ear to

The Barber’s Tale of his Sixth Brother.

My sixth brother, O Commander of the Faithful, Shakashik,[FN#683] or

Many clamours, the shorn of both lips, was once rich and became poor,

so one day he went out to beg somewhat to keep life in him. As he was

on the road he suddenly caught sight of a large and handsome mansion,

with a detached building wide and lofty at the entrance, where sat

sundry eunuchs bidding and forbidding.[FN#684] My brother enquired of

one of those idling there and he replied "The palace belongs to a scion

of the Barmaki house;" so he stepped up to the door keepers and asked

an alms of them "Enter," said they, "by the great gate and thou shalt

get what thou seekest from the Wazir our master." Accordingly he went

in and, passing through the outer entrance, walked on a while and

presently came to a mansion of the utmost beauty and elegance, paved

with marble, hung with curtains and having in the midst of it a flower

garden whose like he had never seen.[FN#685] My brother stood awhile as

one bewildered not knowing whither to turn his steps; then, seeing the

farther end of the sitting chamber tenanted, he walked up to it and

there found a man of handsome presence and comely beard. When this

personage saw my brother he stood up to him and welcomed him and asked

him of his case; whereto he replied that he was in want and needed

charity. Hearing these words the grandee showed great concern and,

putting his hand to his fine robe, rent it exclaiming, "What! am I in a

City, and thou here an hungered? I have not patience to bear such

disgrace!" Then he promised him all manner of good cheer and said,

"There is no help but that thou stay with me and eat of my

salt."[FN#686] "O my lord," answered my brother, "I can wait no longer;

for I am indeed dying of hunger." So he cried, "Ho boy! bring basin and

ewer;" and, turning to my brother, said, "O my guest come forward and

wash thy hands." My brother rose to do so but he saw neither ewer nor

basin; yet his host kept washing his hands with invisible soap in

imperceptible water and cried, "Bring the table!" But my brother again

saw nothing. Then said the host, "Honour me by eating of this meat and

be not ashamed." And he kept moving his hand to and fro as if he ate

and saying to my brother, "I wonder to see thee eating thus sparely: do

not stint thyself for I am sure thou art famished." So my brother began

to make as though he were eating whilst his host kept saying to him,

"Fall to, and note especially the excellence of this bread and its

whiteness!" But still my brother saw nothing. Then said he to himself,

"This man is fond of poking fun at people;" and replied, "O my lord, in

all my days I never knew aught more winsome than its whiteness or

sweeter than its savour." The Barmecide said, "This bread was baked by

a hand maid of mine whom I bought for five hundred dinars." Then he

called out, "Ho boy, bring in the meat pudding[FN#687] for our first

dish, and let there be plenty of fat in it;" and, turning to my brother

said, "O my guest, Allah upon thee, hast ever seen anything better than

this meat pudding? Now by my life, eat and be not abashed." Presently

he cried out again, "Ho boy, serve up the marinated stew[FN#688] with

the fatted sand grouse in it;" and he said to my brother, "Up and eat,

O my guest, for truly thou art hungry and needest food." So my brother

began wagging his jaws and made as if champing and chewing,[FN#689]

whilst the host continued calling for one dish after another and yet

produced nothing save orders to eat. Presently he cried out, "Ho boy,

bring us the chickens stuffed with pistachio nuts;" and said to my

brother, "By thy life, O my guest, I have fattened these chickens upon

pistachios; eat, for thou hast never eaten their like." "O my lord,"

replied my brother, "they are indeed first rate." Then the host began

motioning with his hand as though he were giving my brother a mouthful;

and ceased not to enumerate and expatiate upon the various dishes to

the hungry man whose hunger waxt still more violent, so that his soul

lusted after a bit of bread, even a barley scone.[FN#690] Quoth the

Barmecide, "Didst thou ever taste anything more delicious than the

seasoning of these dishes?"; and quoth my brother, "Never, O my lord!"

"Eat heartily and be not ashamed," said the host, and the guest, "I

have eaten my fill of meat;" So the entertainer cried, "Take away and

bring in the sweets;" and turning to my brother said, "Eat of this

almond conserve for it is prime and of these honey fritters; take this

one, by my life, the syrup runs out of it." "May I never be bereaved of

thee, O my lord," replied the hungry one and began to ask him about the

abundance of musk in the fritters. "Such is my custom," he answered:

"they put me a dinar weight of musk in every honey fritter and half

that quantity of ambergris." All this time my brother kept wagging head

and jaws till the master cried, "Enough of this. Bring us the dessert!"

Then said he to him,' "Eat of these almonds and walnuts and raisins;

and of this and that (naming divers kinds of dried fruits), and be not

abashed." But my brother replied, "O my lord, indeed I am full: I can

eat no more." "O my guest," repeated the host, "if thou have a mind to

these good things eat: Allah! Allah![FN#691] do not remain hungry;" but

my brother rejoined, "O my lord, he who hath eaten of all these dishes

how can he be hungry?" Then he considered and said to himself, "I will

do that shall make him repent of these pranks." Presently the

entertainer called out "Bring me the wine;" and, moving his hands in

the air, as though they had set it before them, he gave my brother a

cup and said, "Take this cup and, if it please thee, let me know." "O

my lord," he replied, "it is notable good as to nose but I am wont to

drink wine some twenty years old." "Knock then at this door,"[FN#692]

quoth the host "for thou canst not drink of aught better." "By thy

kindness," said my brother, motioning with his hand as though he were

drinking. "Health and joy to thee," exclaimed the house master and

feigned to fill a cup and drink it off; then he handed another to my

brother who quaffed it and made as if he were drunken. Presently he

took the host unawares; and, raising his arm till the white of his

armpit appeared, dealt him such a cuff on the nape of his neck that the

palace echoed to it. Then he came down upon him with a second cuff and

the entertainer cried aloud "What is this, O thou scum of the earth?"

"O my lord," replied my brother, "thou hast shown much kindness to thy

slave, and admitted him into thine abode and given him to eat of thy

victual; then thou madest him drink of thine old wine till he became

drunken and boisterous; but thou art too noble not to bear with his

ignorance and pardon his offence." When the Barmaki heard my brother's

words he laughed his loudest and said, "Long have I been wont to make

mock of men and play the madcap among my intimates, but never yet have

I come across a single one who had the patience and the wit to enter

into all my humours save thyself: so I forgive thee, and thou shalt be

my boon companion in very sooth and never leave me." Then he ordered

the servants to lay the table in earnest and they set on all the dishes

of which he had spoken in sport; and he and my brother ate till they

were satisfied; after which they removed to the drinking chamber, where

they found damsels like moons who sang all manner songs and played on

all manner instruments. There they remained drinking till their wine

got the better of them and the host treated my brother like a familiar

friend, so that he became as it were his brother, and bestowed on him a

robe of honour and loved him with exceeding love. Next morning the two

fell again to feasting and carousing, and ceased not to lead this life

for a term of twenty years; at the end of which the Barmecide died and

the Sultan took possession of all his wealth and squeezed my brother of

his savings, till he was left a pauper without a penny to handle. So he

quitted the city and fled forth following his face;[FN#693] but, when

he was half way between two towns, the wild Arabs fell on him and bound

him and carried him to their camp, where his captor proceeded to

torture him, saying, "Buy thy life of me with thy money, else I will

slay thee!" My brother began to weep and replied, "By Allah, I have

nothing, neither gold nor silver; but I am thy prisoner; so do with me

what thou wilt." Then the Badawi drew a knife, broad bladed and so

sharp grinded that if plunged into a camel's throat it would sever it

clean across from one jugular to the other,[FN#694] and cut off my

brother's lips and waxed more instant in requiring money. Now this

Badawi had a fair wife who in her husband's absence used to make

advances to my brother and offer him her favours, but he held off from

her. One day she began to tempt him as usual and he played with her and

made her sit on his lap, when behold, in came the Badawi who, seeing

this, cried out, "Woe to thee, O accursed villain, wouldest thou

debauch my wife for me?" Then he took out a knife and cut off my

brother's yard, after which he bound him on the back of a camel and,

carrying him to a mountain, left him there. He was at last found by

some who recognised him and gave him meat and drink and acquainted me

with his condition; whereupon I went forth to him and brought him back

to Baghdad where I made him an allowance sufficient to live on. This,

then, O Commander of the Faithful, is the history of my six brothers,

and I feared to go away without relating it all to thee and leave thee

in the error of judging me to be like them. And now thou knowest that I

have six brothers upon my hands and, being more upright than they, I

support the whole family. When the Caliph heard my story and all I told

him concerning my brothers, he laughed and said, "Thou sayest sooth, O

Silent Man! thou art indeed spare of speech nor is there aught of

forwardness in thee; but now go forth out of this city and settle in

some other." And he banished me under edict. I left Baghdad and

travelled in foreign parts till I heard of his death and the accession

of another to the Caliphate. Then I returned to Baghdad where I found

all my brothers dead and chanced upon this young man, to whom I

rendered the kindliest service, for without me he had surely been

killed. Indeed he slanders me and accuses me of a fault which is not in

my nature; and what he reports concerning impudence and meddling and

forwardness is idle and false; for verily on his account I left Baghdad

and travelled about full many a country till I came to this city and

met him here in your company. And was not this, O worthy assemblage, of

the generosity of my nature?

The End of the Tailor’s Tale.

Then quoth the Tailor to the King of China: When we heard the Barber's

tale and saw the excess of his loquacity and the way in which he had

wronged this young man, we laid hands on him and shut him up, after

which we sat down in peace, and ate and drank and enjoyed the good

things of the marriage feast till the time of the call to mid afternoon

prayer, when I left the party and returned home. My wife received me

with sour looks and said, "Thou goest a pleasuring among thy friends

and thou leavest me to sit sorrowing here alone. So now, unless thou

take me abroad and let me have some amusement for the rest of the day,

I will cut the rope[FN#695] and it will be the cause of my separation

from thee." So I took her out and we amused ourselves till supper time,

when we returned home and fell in with this Hunchback who was brimful

of drink and trolling out these rhymes:

"Clear's the wine, the cup's fine; * Like to like they combine:

It is wine and not cup! * 'Tis a cup and not wine!"

So I invited him to sup with us and went out to buy fried fish; after

which we sat down to eat; and presently my wife took a piece of bread

and a fid of fish and stuffed them into his mouth and he choked; and,

though I slapped him long and hard between the shoulders, he died. Then

I carried him off and contrived to throw him into the house of this

leach, the Jew; and the leach contrived to throw him into the house of

the Reeve; and the Reeve contrived to throw him on the way of the

Nazarene broker. This, then, is my adventure which befell me but

yesterday. Is not it more wondrous than the story of the Hunchback?

When the King of China heard the Tailor's tale he shook his head for

pleasure; and, showing great surprise, said, "This that passed between

the young man and the busy-body of a Barber is indeed more pleasant and

wonderful than the story of my lying knave of a Hunchback." Then he

bade one of his Chamberlains go with the Tailor and bring the Barber

out of jail, saying, "I wish to hear the talk of this Silent Man and it

shall be the cause of your deliverance one and all: then we will bury

the Hunchback, for that he is dead since yesterday, and set up a tomb

over him."—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say

her permitted say.

When it was the Thirty-fourth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the King of China

bade, "Bring me the Barber who shall be the cause of your deliverance;

then we will bury this Hunchback, for that he is dead since yesterday

and set up a tomb over him." So the Chamberlain and the Tailor went to

the jail and, releasing the Barber, presently returned with him to the

King. The Sultan of China looked at him and considered him carefully

and lo and behold! he was an ancient man, past his ninetieth year;

swart of face, white of beard, and hoar of eyebrows; lop eared and

proboscis-nosed,[FN#696] with a vacant, silly and conceited expression

of countenance. The King laughed at this figure o' fun and said to him,

"O Silent Man, I desire thee to tell me somewhat of thy history." Quoth

the Barber, "O King of the age, allow me first to ask thee what is the

tale of this Nazarene and this Jew and this Moslem and this Hunchback

(the corpse) I see among you? And prithee what may be the object of

this assemblage?" Quoth the King of China, "And why dost thou ask?" "I

ask," he replied, "in order that the King's majesty may know that I am

no forward fellow or busy body or impertinent meddler; and that I am

innocent of their calumnious charges of overmuch talk; for I am he

whose name is the Silent Man, and indeed peculiarly happy is my

sobriquet, as saith the poet:

When a nickname or little name men design, * Know that nature with name

shall full oft combine."

Then said the King, "Explain to the Barber the case of this Hunchback

and what befell him at supper time; also repeat to him the stories told

by the Nazarene, the Jew, the Reeve, and the Tailor; and of no avail to

me is a twice told tale." They did his bidding, and the Barber shook

his head and said, "By Allah, this is a marvel of marvels! Now uncover

me the corpse of yonder Hunchback. They undid the winding sheet and he

sat down and, taking the Hunchback's head in his lap, looked at his

face and laughed and guffaw'd[FN#697] till he fell upon his back and

said, "There is wonder in every death,[FN#698] but the death of this

Hunchback is worthy to be written and recorded in letters of liquid

gold!" The bystanders were astounded at his words and the King

marvelled and said to him, "What ails thee, O Silent Man? Explain to us

thy words !" "O King of the age," said the Barber, "I swear by thy

beneficence that there is still life in this Gobbo Golightly!"

Thereupon he pulled out of his waist belt a barber's budget, whence he

took a pot of ointment and anointed therewith the neck of the Hunchback

and its arteries. Then he took a pair of iron tweezers and, inserting

them into the Hunchback's throat, drew out the fid of fish with its

bone; and, when it came to sight, behold, it was soaked in blood.

Thereupon the Hunchback sneezed a hearty sneeze and jumped up as if

nothing had happened and passing his hand over his face said, "I

testify that there is no god, but the God, and I testify that Mohammed

is the Apostle of God." At this sight all present wondered; the King of

China laughed till he fainted and in like manner did the others. Then

said the Sultan, "By Allah, of a truth this is the most marvellous

thing I ever saw! O Moslems, O soldiers all, did you ever in the lives

of you see a man die and be quickened again? Verily had not Allah

vouchsafed to him this Barber, he had been a dead man!" Quoth they, "By

Allah, 'tis a marvel of marvels." Then the King of China bade record

this tale, so they recorded it and placed it in the royal

muniment-rooms; after which he bestowed costly robes of honour upon the

Jew, the Nazarene and the Reeve, and bade them depart in all esteem.

Then he gave the Tailor a sumptuous dress and appointed him his own

tailor, with suitable pay and allowances; and made peace between him

and the Hunchback, to whom also he presented a splendid and expensive

suit with a suitable stipend. He did as generously with the Barber,

giving him a gift and a dress of honour; moreover he settled on him a

handsome solde and created him Barber surgeon[FN#699] of state and made

him one of his cup companions. So they ceased not to live the most

pleasurable life and the most delectable, till there came to them the

Destroyer of all delights and the Sunderer of all societies, the

Depopulator of palaces and the Garnerer for graves. Yet, O most

auspicious King! (continued Shahrazad) this tale is by no means more

wonderful than that of the two Wazirs and Anís al-Jalís. Quoth her

sister Dunyazad, "And what may that be?", whereupon she began to relate

the following tale of

End of Vol. 1.