"I've lost all patience by despite of you; * My heart knows nothing
save love plight to you!
If aught I sight save charms so bright of you; * My parting end not in
the sight of you!
I swear I'll ne'er forget the right of you; * And fain this breast
would soar to height of you:
You made me drain the love cup, and I lief * A love cup tender for
delight of you:
Take this my form where'er you go, and when * You die, entomb me in the
site of you:
Call on me in my grave, and hear my bones * Sigh their responses to the
shright of you:
And were I asked 'Of God what wouldst thou see?' * I answer, 'first His
will then Thy decree!'
When she ended her verse she asked me, "O youth, hast thou any fair
stuffs by thee?"; and I answered, "O my lady, thy slave is poor; but
have patience till the merchants open their shops, and I will suit thee
with what thou wilt." Then we sat talking, I and she (and I was drowned
in the sea of her love, dazed in the desert[FN#556] of my passion for
her), till the merchants opened their shops; when I rose and fetched
her all she sought to the tune of five thousand dirhams. She gave the
stuff to the eunuch and, going forth by the door of the Exchange, she
mounted mule and went away, without telling me whence she came, and I
was ashamed to speak of such trifle. When the merchants dunned me for
the price, I made myself answerable for five thousand dirhams and went
home, drunken with the love of her. They set supper before me and I ate
a mouthful, thinking only of her beauty and loveliness, and sought to
sleep, but sleep came not to me. And such was my condition for a whole
week, when the merchants required their monies of me, but I persuaded
them to have patience for another week, at the end of which time she
again appeared mounted on a she mule and attended by her eunuch and two
slaves. She saluted me and said, "O my master, we have been long in
bringing thee the price of the stuffs; but now fetch the Shroff and
take thy monies." So I sent for the money changer and the eunuch
counted out the coin before him and made it over to me. Then we sat
talking, I and she, till the market opened, when she said to me, "Get
me this and that." So I got her from the merchants whatso she wanted,
and she took it and went away without saying a word to me about the
price. As soon as she was out of sight, I repented me of what I had
done; for the worth of the stuffs bought for her amounted to a thousand
dinars, and I said in my soul, "What manner of love is this? She hath
brought me five thousand dirhams, and hath taken goods for a thousand
dinars."[FN#557] I feared lest I should be beggared through having to
pay the merchants their money, and I said, "They know none other but
me; this lovely lady is naught but a cheat and a swindler, who hath
diddled me with her beauty and grace; for she saw that I was a mere
youth and laughed at me for not asking her address." I ceased not to be
troubled by these doubts and fears, as she was absent more than a
month, till the merchants pestered me for their money and were so hard
upon me that I put up my property for sale and stood on the very brink
of ruin. However, as I was sitting in my shop one day, drowned in
melancholy musings, she suddenly rode up and, dismounting at the bazar
gate, came straight towards me. When I saw her all my cares fell from
me and I forgot every trouble. She came close up to me and greeted me
with her sweet voice and pleasant speech and presently said, "Fetch me
the Shroff and weigh thy money."[FN#558] So she gave me the price of
what goods I had gotten for her and more, and fell to talking freely
with me, till I was like to die of joy and delight. Presently she asked
me, "Hast thou a wife?"; and I answered "No, indeed: I have never known
woman"; and began to shed tears. Quoth she "Why weepest thou?" Quoth I
"It is nothing!" Then giving the eunuch some of the gold pieces, I
begged him to be go between[FN#559] in the matter; but he laughed and
said, "She is more in love with thee than thou with her: she hath no
occasion for the stuffs she hath bought of thee and did all this only
for the love of thee; so ask of her what thou wilt and she will deny
thee nothing." When she saw me giving the dinars to the eunuch, she
returned and sat down again; and I said to her, "Be charitable to thy
slave and pardon him what he is about to say." Then I told her what was
in my mind and she assented and said to the eunuch, "Thou shalt carry
my message to him," adding to me, "And do thou whatso the eunuch
biddeth thee." Then she got up and went away, and I paid the merchants
their monies and they all profited; but as for me, regret at the
breaking off of our intercourse was all my gain; and I slept not the
whole of that night. However, before many days passed her eunuch came
to me, and I entreated him honourably and asked him after his mistress.
"Truly she is sick with love of thee," he replied and I rejoined, "Tell
me who and what she is." Quoth he, "The Lady Zubaydah, queen consort of
Harun al-Rashid, brought her up as a rearling[FN#560] and hath advanced
her to be stewardess of the Harim, and gave her the right of going in
and out of her own sweet will. She spoke to her lady of thee and begged
her to marry her to thee; but she said, 'I will not do this, till I see
the young man; and, if he be worthy of thee, I will marry thee to him.'
So now we look for the moment to smuggle thee into the Palace and if
thou succeed in entering privily thou wilt win thy wish to wed her; but
if the affair get wind, the Lady Zubaydah will strike off thy
head.[FN#561] What sayest thou to this?" I answered, "I will go with
thee and abide the risk whereof thou speakest." Then said he, "As soon
as it is night, go to the Mosque built by the Lady Zubaydah on the
Tigris and pray the night prayers and sleep there." "With love and
gladness," cried I. So at nightfall I repaired to the Mosque, where I
prayed and passed the night. With earliest dawn, behold, came sundry
eunuchs in a skiff with a number of empty chests which they deposited
in the Mosque; then all of them went their ways but one, and looking
curiously at him, I saw he was our go between. Presently in came the
handmaiden, my mistress, walking straight up to us; and I rose to her
and embraced her while she kissed me and shed tears.[FN#562] We talked
awhile; after which she made me get into one of the chests which she
locked upon me. Presently the other eunuchs came back with a quantity
of packages and she fell to stowing them in the chests, which she
locked down, one by one, till all were shut. When all was done the
eunuchs embarked the chests in the boat and made for the Lady
Zubaydah's palace. With this, thought began to beset me and I said to
myself, "Verily thy lust and wantonness will be the death of thee; and
the question is after all shalt thou win to thy wish or not?" And I
began to weep, boxed up as I was in the box and suffering from cramp;
and I prayed Allah that He deliver me from the dangerous strait I was
in, whilst the boat gave not over going on till it reached the Palace
gate where they lifted out the chests and amongst them that in which I
was. Then they carried them in, passing through a troop of eunuchs,
guardians of the Harim and of the ladies behind the curtain, till they
came to the post of the Eunuch in Chief[FN#563] who started up from his
slumbers and shouted to the damsel "What is in those chests?" "They are
full of wares for the Lady Zubaydah!" "Open them, one by one, that I
may see what is in them." "And wherefore wouldst thou open them?" "Give
me no words and exceed not in talk! These chests must and shall be
opened." So saying, he sprang to his feet, and the first which they
brought to him to open was that wherein I was; and, when I felt his
hands upon it, my senses failed me and I bepissed myself in my funk,
the water running out of the box. Then said she to the Eunuch in Chief,
"O steward! thou wilt cause me to be killed and thyself too, for thou
hast damaged goods worth ten thousand dinars. This chest contains
coloured dresses, and four gallon flasks of Zemzem water;[FN#564] and
now one of them hath got unstoppered and the water is running out over
the clothes and it will spoil their colours." The eunuch answered,
"Take up thy boxes and get thee gone to the curse of God!" So the
slaves carried off all the chests, including mine; and hastened on with
them till suddenly I heard the voice of one saying, "Alack, and alack!
the Caliph! the Caliph !" When that cry struck mine ears I died in my
skin and said a saying which never yet shamed the sayer, "There is no
Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great! I
and only I have brought this calamity upon myself." Presently I heard
the Caliph say to my mistress, "A plague on thee, what is in those
boxes?"; and she answered, "Dresses for the Lady Zubaydah";[FN#565]
whereupon he, "Open them before me!" When I heard this I died my death
outright and said to myself, "By Allah, today is the very last of my
days in this world: if I come safe out of this I am to marry her and no
more words, but detection stares me in the face and my head is as good
as stricken off." Then I repeated the profession of Faith, saying,
"There is no god but the God, and Mohammed is the Apostle of God!"—And
Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted
say.
When it was the Twenty-eighth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young
merchant continued as follows: Now when I testified, "I bear witness
that there is no god save the God," I heard my mistress the handmaid
declare to the Caliph, "These chests, O Commander of the Faithful, have
been committed to my charge by the Lady Zubaydah, and she doth not wish
their contents to be seen by any one." "No matter!" quoth the Caliph,
"needs must they be opened, I will see what is in them"; and he cried
aloud to the eunuchs, "Bring the chests here before me." At this I made
sure of death (without benefit of a doubt) and swooned away. Then the
eunuchs brought the chests up to him one after another and he fell to
inspecting the contents, but he saw in them only ottars and stuffs and
fine dresses; and they ceased not opening the chests and he ceased not
looking to see what was in them, finding only clothes and such matters,
till none remained unopened but the box in which I was boxed. They put
forth their hands to open it, but my mistress the handmaid made haste
and said to the Caliph, "This one thou shalt see only in the presence
of the Lady Zubaydah, for that which is in it is her secret." When he
heard this he gave orders to carry in the chests; so they took up that
wherein I was and bore it with the rest into the Harim and set it down
in the midst of the saloon; and indeed my spittle was dried up for very
fear.[FN#566] Then my mistress opened the box and took me out, saying,
"Fear not: no harm shall betide thee now nor dread; but broaden thy
breast and strengthen thy heart and sit thee down till the Lady
Zubaydah come, and surely thou shalt win thy wish of me." So I sat down
and, after a while, in came ten hand maidens, virgins like moons, and
ranged themselves in two rows, five facing five; and after them twenty
other damsels, high bosomed virginity, surrounding the Lady Zubaydah
who could hardly walk for the weight of her raiment and ornaments. As
she drew near, the slave girls dispersed from around her, and I
advanced and kissed the ground between her hands. She signed to me to
sit and, when I sat down before her chair, she began questioning me of
my forbears and family and condition, to which I made such answers that
pleased her, and she said to my mistress, "Our nurturing of thee, O
damsel, hath not disappointed us." Then she said to me, "Know that this
handmaiden is to us even as our own child and she is a trust committed
to thee by Allah." I again kissed the ground before her, well pleased
that I should marry my mistress, and she bade me abide ten days in the
palace. So I abode there ten days, during which time I saw not my
mistress nor anybody save one of the concubines, who brought me the
morning and evening meals. After this the Lady Zubaydah took counsel
with the Caliph on the marriage of her favourite handmaid, and he gave
leave and assigned to her a wedding portion of ten thousand gold
pieces. So the Lady Zubaydah sent for the Kazi and witnesses who wrote
our marriage contract, after which the women made ready sweetmeats and
rich viands and distributed them among all the Odahs[FN#567] of the
Harim. Thus they did other ten days, at the end of which time my
mistress went to the baths.[FN#568] Meanwhile, they set before me a
tray of food where on were various meats and among those dishes, which
were enough to daze the wits, was a bowl of cumin ragout containing
chickens breasts, fricandoed[FN#569] and flavoured with sugar,
pistachios, musk and rose water. Then, by Allah, fair sirs, I did not
long hesitate; but took my seat before the ragout and fell to and ate
of it till I could no more. After this I wiped my hands, but forgot to
wash them; and sat till it grew dark, when the wax candles were lighted
and the singing women came in with their tambourines and proceeded to
display the bride in various dresses and to carry her in procession
from room to room all round the palace, getting their palms crossed
with gold. Then they brought her to me and disrobed her. When I found
myself alone with her on the bed I embraced her, hardly believing in
our union; but she smelt the strong odours of the ragout upon my hands
and forth with cried out with an exceeding loud cry, at which the slave
girls came running to her from all sides. I trembled with alarm,
unknowing what was the matter, and the girls asked her, "What aileth
thee, O our sister?" She answered them, "Take this mad man away from
me: I had thought he was a man of sense!" Quoth I to her, "What makes
thee think me mad?" Quoth she, "Thou madman' what made thee eat of
cumin ragout and forget to wash thy hand? By Allah, I will requite thee
for thy misconduct. Shall the like of thee come to bed with the like of
me with unclean hands?"[FN#570] Then she took from her side a plaited
scourge and came down with it on my back and the place where I sit till
her forearms were benumbed and I fainted away from the much beating;
when she said to the handmaids, "Take him and carry him to the Chief of
Police, that he may strike off the hand wherewith he ate of the cumin
ragout, and which he did not wash." When I heard this I said, "There is
no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah! Wilt thou cut off my
hand, because I ate of a cumin ragout and did not wash?" The
handmaidens also interceded with her and kissed her hand saying, "O our
sister, this man is a simpleton, punish him not for what he hath done
this nonce;" but she answered, "By Allah, there is no help but that I
dock him of somewhat, especially the offending member." Then she went
away and I saw no more of her for ten days, during which time she sent
me meat and drink by a slave girl who told me that she had fallen sick
from the smell of the cumin ragout. After that time she came to me and
said, "O black of face![FN#571] I will teach thee how to eat cumin
ragout without washing thy hands!" Then she cried out to the handmaids,
who pinioned me; and she took a sharp razor and cut off my thumbs and
great toes; even as you see, O fair assembly! Thereupon I swooned away,
and she sprinkled some powder of healing herbs upon the stumps and when
the blood was staunched, I said, "Never again will I eat of cumin
ragout without washing my hands forty times with potash and forty times
with galangale and forty times with soap!" And she took of me an oath
and bound me by a covenant to that effect. When, therefore, you brought
me the cumin ragout my colour changed and I said to myself, "It was
this very dish that caused the cutting off of my thumbs and great
toes;" and, when you forced me, I said, "Needs must I fulfil the oath I
have sworn." "And what befell thee after this?" asked those present;
and he answered, "When I swore to her, her anger was appeased and I
slept with her that night. We abode thus awhile till she said to me one
day, "Verily the Palace of the Caliph is not a pleasant place for us to
live in, and none ever entered it save thyself; and thou only by grace
of the Lady Zubaydah. Now she hath given me fifty thousand dinars,"
adding, "Take this money and go out and buy us a fair dwelling house."
So I fared forth and bought a fine and spacious mansion, whither she
removed all the wealth she owned and what riches I had gained in stuffs
and costly rarities. Such is the cause of the cutting off of my thumbs
and great toes. We ate (continued the Reeve), and were returning to our
homes when there befell me with the Hunchback that thou wottest of.
This then is my story, and peace be with thee! Quoth the King; "This
story is on no wise more delectable than the story of the Hunchback;
nay, it is even less so, and there is no help for the hanging of the
whole of you." Then came forward the Jewish physician and kissing the
ground said, "O King of the age, I will tell thee an history more
wonderful than that of the Hunchback." "Tell on," said the King of
China; so he began the
Tale of the Jewish Doctor.
Right marvellous was a matter which came to pass to me in my youth. I
lived in Damascus of Syria studying my art and, one day, as I was
sitting at home behold, there came to me a Mameluke from the household
of the Sahib and said to me, "Speak with my lord!" So I followed him to
the Viceroy's house and, entering the great hall, saw at its head a
couch of cedar plated with gold whereon lay a sickly youth beautiful
withal; fairer than he one could not see. I sat down by his head and
prayed to Heaven for a cure; and he made me a sign with his eyes, so I
said to him, "O my lord! favour me with thy hand, and safety be with
thee!"[FN#572] Then he put forth his left hand and I marvelled thereat
and said, "By Allah, strange that this handsome youth, the son of a
great house, should so lack good manners. This can be nothing but pride
and conceit!" However I felt his pulse and wrote him a prescription and
continued to visit him for ten days, at the end of which time he
recovered and went to the Hammam,[FN#573] whereupon the Viceroy gave me
a handsome dress of honour and appointed me superintendent of the
hospital which is in Damascus.[FN#574] I accompanied him to the baths,
the whole of which they had kept private for his accommodation; and the
servants came in with him and took off his clothes within the bath, and
when he was stripped I saw that his right hand had been newly cut off,
and this was the cause of his weakliness. At this I was amazed and
grieved for him: then, looking at his body, I saw on it the scars of
scourge stripes whereto he had applied unguents. I was troubled at the
sight and my concern appeared in my face. The young man looked at me
and, comprehending the matter, said, "O Physician of the age, marvel
not at my case; I will tell thee my story as soon as we quit the
baths." Then we washed and, returning to his house, ate somewhat of
food and took rest awhile; after which he asked me, "What sayest thou
to solacing thee by inspecting the supper hall?"; and I answered "So
let it be." Thereupon he ordered the slaves to carry out the carpets
and cushions required and roast a lamb and bring us some fruit. They
did his bidding and we ate together, he using the left hand for the
purpose. After a while I said to him, "Now tell me thy tale." "O
Physician of the age," replied he, "hear what befell me. Know that I am
of the sons of Mosul, where my grandfather died leaving nine children
of whom my father was the eldest. All grew up and took to them wives,
but none of them was blessed with offspring except my father, to whom
Providence vouchsafed me. So I grew up amongst my uncles who rejoiced
in me with exceeding joy, till I came to man's estate. One day which
happened to be a Friday, I went to the Cathedral mosque of Mosul with
my father and my uncles, and we prayed the congregational prayers,
after which the folk went forth, except my father and uncles, who sat
talking of wondrous things in foreign parts and the marvellous sights
of strange cities. At last they mentioned Egypt, and one of my uncles
said, "Travellers tell us that there is not on earth's face aught
fairer than Cairo and her Nile;" and these words made me long to see
Cairo. Quoth my father, "Whoso hath not seen Cairo hath not seen the
world. Her dust is golden and her Nile a miracle holden; and her women
are as Houris fair; puppets, beautiful pictures; her houses are palaces
rare; her water is sweet and light[FN#575] and her mud a commodity and
a medicine beyond compare, even as said the poet in this his poetry:—
The Nile[FN#576] flood this day is the gain you own; * You alone in
such gain and bounties wone:
The Nile is my tear flood of severance, * And here none is forlorn but
I alone.
Moreover temperate is her air, and with fragrance blent, Which
surpasseth aloes wood in scent; and how should it be otherwise, she
being the Mother of the World? And Allah favour him who wrote these
lines:—
An I quit Cairo and her pleasaunces, * Where can I wend to find so
gladsome ways?
Shall I desert that site, whose grateful scents * Joy every soul and
call for loudest praise?
Where every palace, as another Eden, * Carpets and cushions richly
wrought displays;
A city wooing sight and sprite to glee, * Where Saint meets Sinner and
each 'joys his craze;
Where friend meets friend, by Providence united * In greeny garden and
in palmy maze:
People of Cairo, and by Allah's doom * I fare, with you in thoughts I
wone always!
Whisper not Cairo in the ear of Zephyr, * Lest for her like of garden
scents he reave her.[FN#577]
And if your eyes saw her earth, and the adornment thereof with bloom,
and the purfling of it with all manner blossoms, and the islands of the
Nile and how much is therein of wide spread and goodly prospect, and if
you bent your sight upon the Abyssinian Pond,[FN#578] your glance would
not revert from the scene quit of wonder; for nowhere would you behold
the fellow of that lovely view; and, indeed, the two arms of the Nile
embrace most luxuriant verdure,[FN#579] as the white of the eye
encompasseth its black or like filagree'd silver surrounding
chrysolites. And divinely gifted was the poet who there anent said
these couplets:—
By th' Abyssinian Pond, O day divine!* In morning twilight and in sunny
shine:
The water prisoned in its verdurous walls, * Like sabre flashes before
shrinking eyne:
And in The Garden sat we while it drains * Slow draught, with purfled
sides dyed finest fine:
The stream is rippled by the hands of clouds; * We too, a-rippling, on
our rugs recline,
Passing pure wine, and whoso leaves us there * Shall ne'er arise from
fall his woes design:
Draining long draughts from large and brimming bowls, * Administ'ring
thirst's only medicine—wine.
And what is there to compare with the Rasad, the Observatory, and its
charms whereof every viewer as he approacheth saith, 'Verily this spot
is specialised with all manner of excellence!' And if thou speak of the
Night of Nile full,[FN#580] give the rainbow and distribute it![FN#581]
And if thou behold The Garden at eventide, with the cool shades sloping
far and wide, a marvel thou wouldst see and wouldst incline to Egypt in
ecstasy. And wert thou by Cairo's river side,[FN#582] when the sun is
sinking and the stream dons mail coat and habergeon[FN#583] over its
other vestments, thou wouldst be quickened to new life by its gentle
zephyrs and by its all sufficient shade." So spake he and the rest fell
to describing Egypt and her Nile. As I heard their accounts, my
thoughts dwelt upon the subject and when, after talking their fill, all
arose and went their ways, I lay down to sleep that night, but sleep
came not because of my violent longing for Egypt; and neither meat
pleased me nor drink. After a few days my uncles equipped themselves
for a trade journey to Egypt; and I wept before my father till he made
ready for me fitting merchandise, and he consented to my going with
them, saying however, "Let him not enter Cairo, but leave him to sell
his wares at Damascus." So I took leave of my father and we fared forth
from Mosul and gave not over travelling till we reached Aleppo[FN#584]
where we halted certain days. Then we marched onwards till we made
Damascus and we found her a city as though she were a Paradise,
abounding in trees and streams and birds and fruits of all kinds. We
alighted at one of the Khans, where my uncles tarried awhile selling
and buying; and they bought and sold also on my account, each dirham
turning a profit of five on prime cost, which pleased me mightily.
After this they left me alone and set their faces Egyptwards; whilst I
abode at Damascus, where I had hired from a jeweller, for two dinars a
month, a mansion[FN#585] whose beauties would beggar the tongue. Here I
remained, eating and drinking and spending what monies I had in hand
till, one day, as I was sitting at the door of my house be hold, there
came up a young lady clad in costliest raiment never saw my eyes
richer. I winked[FN#5886 at her and she stepped inside without
hesitation and stood within. I entered with her and shut the door upon
myself and her; whereupon she raised her face veil and threw off her
mantilla, when I found her like a pictured moon of rare and marvellous
loveliness; and love of her gat hold of my heart. So I rose and brought
a tray of the most delicate eatables and fruits and whatso befitted the
occasion, and we ate and played and after that we drank till the wine
turned our heads. Then I lay with her the sweetest of nights and in the
morning I offered her ten gold pieces; when her face lowered and her
eye brows wrinkled and shaking with wrath she cried, "Fie upon thee, O
my sweet companion! dost thou deem that I covet thy money?" Then she
took out from the bosom of her shift[FN#587] fifteen dinars and, laying
them before me, said, "By Allah! unless thou take them I will never
come back to thee." So I accepted them and she said to me, "O my
beloved! expect me again in three days' time, when I will be with thee
between sunset and supper tide; and do thou prepare for us with these
dinars the same entertainment as yesternight." So saying, she took
leave of me and went away and all my senses went with her. On the third
day she came again, clad in stuff weft with gold wire, and wearing
raiment and ornaments finer than before. I had prepared the place for
her ere she arrived and the repast was ready; so we ate and drank and
lay together, as we had done, till the morning, when she gave me other
fifteen gold pieces and promised to come again after three days.
Accordingly, I made ready for her and, at the appointed time, she
presented herself more richly dressed than on the first and second
occasions, and said to me, "O my lord, am I not beautiful?" "Yea, by
Allah thou art!" answered I, and she went on, "Wilt thou allow me to
bring with me a young lady fairer than I, and younger in years, that
she may play with us and thou and she may laugh and make merry and
rejoice her heart, for she hath been very sad this long time past, and
hath asked me to take her out and let her spend the night abroad with
me?" "Yea, by Allah!" I replied; and we drank till the wine turned our
heads and slept till the morning, when she gave me other fifteen
dinars, saying, "Add something to thy usual provision on account of the
young lady who will come with me." Then she went away, and on the
fourth day I made ready the house as usual, and soon after sunset
behold, she came, accompanied by another damsel carefully wrapped in
her mantilla. They entered and sat down; and when I saw them I repeated
these verses:—
"How dear is our day and how lucky our lot, * When the cynic's away
with his tongue malign!
When love and delight and the swimming of head * Send cleverness
trotting, the best boon of wine.
When the full moon shines from the cloudy veil, * And the branchlet
sways in her greens that shine:
When the red rose mantles in freshest cheek, * And Narcissus[FN#588]
opeth his love sick eyne:
When pleasure with those I love is so sweet, * When friendship with
those I love is complete!"
I rejoiced to see them, and lighted the candles after receiving them
with gladness and delight. They doffed their heavy outer dresses and
the new damsel uncovered her face when I saw that she was like the moon
at its full never beheld I aught more beautiful. Then I rose and set
meat and drink before them, and we ate and drank; and I kept giving
mouthfuls to the new comer, crowning her cup and drinking with her till
the first damsel, waxing inwardly jealous, asked me, "By Allah, is she
not more delicious than I?"; whereto I answered, "Ay, by the Lord!" "It
is my wish that thou lie with her this night; for I am thy mistress but
she is our visitor. Upon my head be it, and my eyes." Then she rose and
spread the carpets for our bed[FN#589] and I took the young lady and
lay with her that night till morning, when I awoke and found myself
wet, as I thought, with sweat. I sat up and tried to arouse the damsel;
but when I shook her by the shoulders my hand became crimson with blood
and her head rolled off the pillow. Thereupon my senses fled and I
cried aloud, saying, "O All powerful Protector, grant me Thy
protection!" Then finding her neck had been severed, I sprung up and
the world waxed black before my eyes, and I looked for the lady, my
former love, but could not find her. So I knew that it was she who had
murdered the damsel in her jealousy,[FN#590] and said, "There is no
Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great!
What is to be done now?" I considered awhile then, doffing my clothes,
dug a hole in the middle of the court yard, wherein I laid the murdered
girl with her jewellery and golden ornaments; and, throwing back the
earth on her, replaced the slabs of the marble[FN#591] pavement. After
this I made the Ghusl or total ablution,[FN#592] and put on pure
clothes; then, taking what money I had left, locked up the house and
summoned courage and went to its owner to whom I paid a year's rent,
saying, "I am about to join my uncles in Cairo." Presently I set out
and, journeying to Egypt, foregathered with my uncles who rejoiced in
me, and I found that they had made an end of selling their merchandise.
They asked me, "What is the cause of thy coming?"; and I answered "I
longed for a sight of you;" but did not let them know that I had any
money with me. I abode with them a year, enjoying the pleasures of
Cairo and her Nile,[FN#593] and squandering the rest of my money in
feasting and carousing till the time drew near for the departure of my
uncles, when I fled from them and hid myself. They made enquiries and
sought for me, but hearing no tidings they said, "He will have gone
back to Damascus." When they departed I came forth from my hiding place
and abode in Cairo three years, until naught remained of my money. Now
every year I used to send the rent of the Damascus house to its owner,
until at last I had nothing left but enough to pay him for one year's
rent and my breast was straitened. So I travelled to Damascus and
alighted at the house whose owner, the jeweller, was glad to see me and
I found everything locked up as I had left it. I opened the closets and
took out my clothes and necessaries and came upon, beneath the carpet
bed whereon I had lain that night with the girl who had been beheaded,
a golden necklace set with ten gems of passing beauty. I took it up
and, cleansing it of the blood, sat gazing upon it and wept awhile.
Then I abode in the house two days and on the third I entered the
Hammam and changed my clothes. I had no money by me now; so Satan
whispered temptation to me that the Decree of Destiny be carried out.
Next day I took the jewelled necklace to the bazar and handed it to a
broker who made me sit down in the shop of the jeweller, my landlord,
and bade me have patience till the market was full,[FN#594] when he
carried off the ornament and proclaimed it for sale, privily and
without my knowledge. The necklet was priced as worth two thousand
dinars, but the broker returned to me and said, "This collar is of
copper, a mere counterfeit after the fashion of the Franks[FN#595] and
a thousand dirhams have been bidden for it." "Yes," I answered, "I knew
it to be copper, as we had it made for a certain person that we might
mock her: now my wife hath inherited it and we wish to sell it; so go
and take over the thousand dirhams."—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn
of day and ceased to say her permitted say.
When it was the Twenty-ninth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the beautiful
youth said to the broker, "Take over the thousand dirhams;" and when
the broker heard this, he knew that the case was suspicious. So he
carried the collar to the Syndic of the bazar, and the Syndic took it
to the Governor who was also prefect of police, and said to him falsely
enough, "This necklet was stolen from my house, and we have found the
thief in traders' dress." So before I was aware of it the watch got
round me and, making me their prisoner, carried me before the Governor
who questioned me of the collar. I told him the tale I had told to the
broker; but he laughed and said, "These words are not true." Then,
before I knew what was doing, the guard stripped off my clothes and
came down with palm rods upon my ribs, till for the smart of the stick
I confessed, "It was I who stole it;" saying to myself, "'Tis better
for thee to say, I stole it, than to let them know that its owner was
murdered in thy house, for then would they slay thee to avenge her." So
they wrote down that I had stolen it and they cut off my hand and
scalded the stump in oil,[FN#596] when I swooned away for pain; but
they gave me wine to drink and I recovered and, taking up my hand, was
going to my fine house, when my landlord said to me, "Inasmuch, O my
son, as this hath befallen thee, thou must leave my house and look out
for another lodging for thee, since thou art convicted of theft. Thou
art a handsome youth, but who will pity thee after this?" "O my master"
said I, "bear with me but two days or three, till I find me another
place." He answered, "So be it." and went away and left me. I returned
to the house where I sat weeping and saying, How shall I go back to my
own people with my hand lopped off and they know not that I am
innocent? Perchance even after this Allah may order some matter for
me." And I wept with exceeding weeping, grief beset me and I remained
in sore trouble for two days; but on the third day my landlord came
suddenly in to me, and with him some of the guard and the Syndic of the
bazar, who had falsely charged me with stealing the necklet. I went up
to them and asked, "What is the matter?" however, they pinioned me with
out further parley and threw a chain about my neck, saying, "The
necklet which was with thee hath proved to be the property of the Wazir
of Damascus who is also her Viceroy;" and they added, "It was missing
from his house three years ago at the same time as his younger
daughter." When I heard these words, my heart sank within me and I said
to myself, "Thy life is gone beyond a doubt! By Allah, needs must I
tell the Chief my story; and, if he will, let him kill me, and if he
please, let him pardon me." So they carried me to the Wazir's house and
made me stand between his hands. When he saw me, he glanced at me out
of the corner of his eye and said to those present, "Why did ye lop off
his hand? This man is unfortunate, and there is no fault in him; indeed
ye have wronged him in cutting off his hand." When I heard this, I took
heart and, my soul presaging good, I said to him, "By Allah, O my lord,
I am no thief; but they calumniated me with a vile calumny, and they
scourged me midmost the market, bidding me confess till, for the pain
of the rods, I lied against myself and confessed the theft, albeit I am
altogether innocent of it." "Fear not," quoth the Viceroy, "no harm
shall come to thee." Then he ordered the Syndic of the bazar to be
imprisoned and said to him, "Give this man the blood money for his
hand; and, if thou delay I will hang thee and seize all thy property."
Moreover he called to his guards who took him and dragged him away,
leaving me with the Chief. Then they loosed by his command the chain
from my neck and unbound my arms; and he looked at me, and said, "O my
son, be true with me, and tell me how this necklace came to thee." And
he repeated these verses:—
"Truth best befits thee, albeit truth * Shall bring thee to burn on the
threatened fire."
"By Allah, O my lord," answered I, "I will tell thee nothing but the
truth." Then I related to him all that had passed between me and the
first lady, and how she had brought me the second and had slain her out
of jealousy, and I detailed for him the tale to its full. When he heard
my story, he shook his head and struck his right hand upon the
left,[FN#597] and putting his kerchief over his face wept awhile and
then repeated:—
"I see the woes of the world abound, * And worldings sick with spleen
and teen;
There's One who the meeting of two shall part, * And who part not are
few and far between!"
Then he turned to me and said, "Know, O my son, that the elder damsel
who first came to thee was my daughter whom I used to keep closely
guarded. When she grew up, I sent her to Cairo and married her to her
cousin, my brother's son. After a while he died and she came back: but
she had learnt wantonness and ungraciousness from the people of
Cairo;[FN#598] so she visited thee four times and at last brought her
younger sister. Now they were sisters-german and much attached to each
other; and, when that adventure happened to the elder, she disclosed
her secret to her sister who desired to go out with her. So she asked
thy leave and carried her to thee; after which she returned alone and,
finding her weeping, I questioned her of her sister, but she said, 'I
know nothing of her.' However, she presently told her mother privily of
what had happened and how she had cut off her sister's head and her
mother told me. Then she ceased not to weep and say, 'By Allah! I shall
cry for her till I die.' Nor did she give over mourning till her heart
broke and she died; and things fell out after that fashion. See then, O
my son, what hath come to pass; and now I desire thee not to thwart me
in what I am about to offer thee, and it is that I purpose to marry
thee to my youngest daughter; for she is a virgin and born of another
mother;[FN#599] and I will take no dower of thee but, on the contrary,
will appoint thee an allowance, and thou shalt abide with me in my
house in the stead of my son." "So be it," I answered, "and how could I
hope for such good fortune?" Then he sent at once for the Kazi and
witnesses, and let write my marriage contract with his daughter and I
went in to her. Moreover, he got me from the Syndic of the bazar a
large sum of money and I became in high favour with him. During this
year news came to me that my father was dead and the Wazir despatched a
courier, with letters bearing the royal sign manual, to fetch me the
money which my father had left behind him, and now I am living in all
the solace of life. Such was the manner of the cutting off my right
hand." I marvelled at his story (continued the Jew), and I abode with
him three days after which he gave me much wealth, and I set out and
travelled Eastward till I reached this your city and the sojourn suited
me right well; so I took up my abode here and there befell me what thou
knowest with the Hunchback. There upon the King of China shook his
head[FN#600] and said, "This story of thine is not stranger and more
wondrous and marvellous and delectable than the tale of the Hunchback;
and so needs must I hang the whole number of you. However there yet
remains the Tailor who is the head of all the offence;" and he added,
"O Tailor, if thou canst tell me any thing more wonderful than the
story of the Hunchback, I will pardon you all your offences." Thereupon
the man came forward and began to tell the
Tale of the Tailor.
Know, O King of the age, that most marvellous was that which befell me
but yesterday, before I foregathered with the Hunch back. It so chanced
that in the early day I was at the marriage feast of one of my
companions, who had gotten together in his house some twenty of the
handicraftsmen of this city, amongst them tailors and silk spinners and
carpenters and others of the same kidney. As soon as the sun had risen,
they set food[FN#601] before us that we might eat when behold, the
master of the house entered, and with him a foreign youth and a well
favoured of the people of Baghdad, wearing clothes as handsome as
handsome could be; and he was of right comely presence save that he was
lame of one leg. He came and saluted us and we stood up to receive him;
but when he was about to sit down he espied amongst us a certain man
which was a Barber; whereupon he refused to be seated and would have
gone away. But we stopped him and our host also stayed him, making oath
that he should not leave us and asked him, "What is the reason of thy
coming in and going out again at once?"; whereto he answered, "By
Allah, O my lord, do not hinder me; for the cause of my turning back is
yon Barber of bad omen,[FN#602] yon black o'face, yon ne'er do well!"
When the housemaster heard these words he marvelled with extreme marvel
and said, "How cometh this young man, who haileth from Baghdad, to be
so troubled and perplexed about this Barber?" Then we looked at the
stranger and said, "Explain the cause of thine anger against the
Barber." "O fair company," quoth the youth, "there befell me a strange
adventure with this Barber in Baghdad (which is my native city); he was
the cause of the breaking of my leg and of my lameness, and I have
sworn never to sit in the same place with him, nor even tarry in any
town where he happens to abide; and I have bidden adieu to Baghdad and
travelled far from it and came to stay in this your city; yet I have
hardly passed one night before I meet him again. But not another day
shall go by ere I fare forth from here." Said we to him, "Allah upon
thee, tell us the tale;" and the youth replied (the Barber changing
colour from brown to yellow as he spoke): Know, O fair company, that my
father was one of the chief merchants of Baghdad, and Almighty Allah
had blessed him with no son but myself. When I grew up and reached
man's estate, my father was received into the mercy of Allah (whose
Name be exalted!) and left me money and eunuchs, servants and slaves;
and I used to dress well and diet well. Now Allah had made me a hater
of women kind and one day, as I was walking along a street in Baghdad,
a party of females met me face to face in the footway; so I fled from
them and, entering an alley which was no thoroughfare, sat down upon a
stone bench at its other end. I had not sat there long before the
latticed window of one of the houses opposite was thrown open, and
there appeared at it a young lady, as she were the full moon at its
fullest; never in my life saw I her like; and she began to water some
flowers on the window sill.[FN#603] She turned right and left and,
seeing me watching her, shut the window and went away. Thereupon fire
was suddenly enkindled in my heart; my mind was possessed with her and
my woman hate turned to woman love. I continued sitting there, lost to
the world, till sunset when lo! the Kazi of the city came riding by
with his slaves before him and his eunuchs behind him, and dismounting
entered the house in which the damsel had appeared. By this I knew that
he was her father; so I went home sorrowful and cast myself upon my
carpet bed in grief. Then my handmaids flocked in and sat about me,
unknowing what ailed me; but I addressed no speech to them, and they
wept and wailed over me. Presently in came an old woman who looked at
me and saw with a glance what was the matter with me: so she sat down
by my head and spoke me fair, saying, "O my son, tell me all about it
and I will be the means of thy union with her."[FN#604] So I related to
her what had happened and she answered, "O my son, this one is the
daughter of the Kazi of Baghdad who keepeth her in the closest
seclusion; and the window where thou sawest her is her floor, whilst
her father occupies the large saloon in the lower story. She is often
there alone and I am wont to visit at the house; so thou shalt not win
to her save through me. Now set thy wits to work and be of good cheer."
With these words she went away and I took heart at what she said and my
people rejoiced that day, seeing me rise in the morning safe and sound.
By and by the old woman returned looking chopfallen,[FN#605] and said,
"O my son, do not ask me how I fared with her! When I told her that,
she cried at me, 'If thou hold not thy peace, O hag of ill omen, and
leave not such talk, I will entreat thee as thou deservest and do thee
die by the foulest of deaths.' But needs must I have at her a second
time."[FN#606] When I heard this it added ailment to my ailment and the
neighbours visited me and judged that I was not long for this world;
but after some days, the old woman came to me and, putting her mouth
close to my ear, whispered, "O my son; I claim from thee the gift of
good news." With this my soul returned to me and I said, "Whatever thou
wilt shall be thine." Thereupon she began, "Yesterday I went to the
young lady who, seeing me broken in spirit and shedding tears from
reddened eyes, asked me, 'O naunty[FN#607] mine, what ails thee, that I
see thy breast so straitened?'; and I answered her, weeping bitterly,
'O my lady, I am just come from the house of a youth who loves thee and
who is about to die for sake of thee!' Quoth she (and her heart was
softened), 'And who is this youth of whom thou speakest?'; and quoth I,
'He is to me as a son and the fruit of my vitals. He saw thee, some
days ago, at the window watering thy flowers and espying thy face and
wrists he fell in love at first sight. I let him know what happened to
me the last time I was with thee, whereupon his ailment increased, he
took to the pillow and he is naught now but a dead man, and no doubt
what ever of it.' At this she turned pale and asked, 'All this for my
sake?'; and I answered, 'Ay, by Allah![FN#608] what wouldst thou have
me do?' Said she, 'Go back to him and greet him for me and tell him
that I am twice more heartsick than he is. And on Friday, before the
hour of public prayer, bid him here to the house, and I will come down
and open the door for him. Then I will carry him up to my chamber and
foregather with him for a while, and let him depart before my father
return from the Mosque.'" When I heard the old woman's words, all my
sickness suddenly fell from me, my anguish ceased and my heart was
comforted; I took off what clothes were on me and gave them to her and,
as she turned to go, she said, "Keep a good heart!" "I have not a jot
of sorrow left." I replied. My household and intimates rejoiced in my
recovery and I abode thus till Friday, when behold, the old woman came
in and asked me how I did, to which I answered that I was well and in
good case. Then I donned my clothes and perfumed myself and sat down to
await the congregation going in to prayers, that I might betake myself
to her. But the old woman said to me, "Thou hast time and to spare: so
thou wouldst do well to go to the Hammam and have thy hair shaven off
(especially after thy ailment), so as not to show traces of sickness."
"This were the best way," answered I, "I have just now bathed in hot
water, but I will have my head shaved." Then I said to my page, "Go to
the bazar and bring me a barber, a discreet fellow and one not inclined
to meddling or impertinent curiosity or likely to split my head with
his excessive talk."[FN#609] The boy went out at once and brought back
with him this wretched old man, this Shaykh of ill omen. When he came
in he saluted me and I returned his salutation; then quoth he, "Of a
truth I see thee thin of body;" and quoth I, "I have been ailing." He
continued, "Allah drive far away from thee thy woe and thy sorrow and
thy trouble and thy distress." "Allah grant thy prayer!" said I. He
pursued, "All gladness to thee, O my master, for indeed recovery is
come to thee. Dost thou wish to be polled or to be blooded? Indeed it
was a tradition of Ibn Abbas[FN#610] (Allah accept of him!) that the
Apostle said, 'Whoso cutteth his hair on a Friday, the Lord shall avert
from him threescore and ten calamities;' and again is related of him
also that he said, 'Cupping on a Friday keepeth from loss of sight and
a host of diseases.'" "Leave this talk," I cried; "come, shave me my
head at once for I can't stand it." So he rose and put forth his hand
in most leisurely way and took out a kerchief and unfolded it, and lo!
it contained an astrolabe[FN#611] with seven parallel plates mounted in
silver. Then he went to the middle of the court and raised head and
instrument towards the sun's rays and looked for a long while. When
this was over, he came back and said to me, "Know that there have
elapsed of this our day, which be Friday, and this Friday be the tenth
of the month Safar in the six hundred and fifty-third year since the
Hegira or Flight of the Apostle (on whom be the bestest of blessings
and peace!) and the seven thousand three hundred and twentieth year of
the era of Alexander, eight degrees and six minutes. Furthermore the
ascendant of this our day is, according to the exactest science of
computation, the planet Mars; and it so happeneth that Mercury is in
conjunction with him, denoting an auspicious moment for hair cutting;
and this also maketh manifest to me that thou desires union with a
certain person and that your intercourse will not be propitious. But
after this there occurreth a sign respecting a matter which will befall
thee and whereof I will not speak." "O thou," cried I, "by Allah, thou
weariest me and scatterest my wits and thy forecast is other than good;
I sent for thee to poll my head and naught else: so up and shave me and
prolong not thy speech." "By Allah," replied he, "if thou but knew what
is about to befall thee, thou wouldst do nothing this day, and I
counsel thee to act as I tell thee by computation of the
constellations." "By Allah," said I, "never did I see a barber who
excelled in judicial astrology save thyself: but I think and I know
that thou art most prodigal of frivolous talk. I sent for thee only to
shave my head, but thou comest and pesterest me with this sorry
prattle." "What more wouldst thou have?" replied he. "Allah hath
bounteously bestowed on thee a Barber who is an astrologer, one learned
in alchemy and white magic;[FN#612] syntax, grammar, and lexicology;
the arts of logic, rhetoric and elocution; mathematics, arithmetic and
algebra; astronomy, astromancy and geometry; theology, the Traditions
of the Apostle and the Commentaries on the Koran. Furthermore, I have
read books galore and digested them and have had experience of affairs
and comprehended them. In short I have learned the theorick and the
practick of all the arts and sciences; I know everything of them by
rote and I am a past master in tota re scibili. Thy father loved me for
my lack of officiousness, argal, to serve thee is a religious duty
incumbent on me. I am no busy body as thou seemest to suppose, and on
this account I am known as The Silent Man, also, The Modest Man.
Wherefore it behoveth thee to render thanks to Allah Almighty and not
cross me, for I am a true counsellor to thee and benevolently minded
towards thee. Would that I were in thy service a whole year that thou
mightest do me justice; and I would ask thee no wage for all this."
When I heard his flow of words, I said to him, "Doubtless thou wilt be
my death this day!"—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased
saying her permitted say.
When it was the Thirtieth Night,
She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young man
said to the Barber, "Thou certainly wilt be the death of me this very
day!" "O master mine," replied he, "I am he, The Silent Man hight, by
reason of the fewness of my words, to distinguish me from my six
brothers. For the eldest is called Al-Bakbúk, the prattler; the second
Al-Haddár, the babbler; the third Al-Fakík, the gabbler; the fourth,
his name is Al-Kuz al-aswáni, the long necked Gugglet, from his eternal
chattering; the fifth is Al-Nashshár, the tattler and tale teller; the
sixth Shakáshik, or many clamours; and the seventh is famous as
Al-Sámit, The Silent Man, and this is my noble self!" Whilst he
redoubled his talk, I thought my gall bladder would have burst; so I
said to the servant, "Give him a quarter dinar and dismiss him and let
him go from me in the name of God who made him. I won't have my head
shaved to day." "What words be these, O my lord?" cried he. "By Allah!
I will accept no hire of thee till I have served thee and have
ministered to thy wants; and I care not if I never take money of thee.
If thou know not my quality, I know thine; and I owe thy father, an
honest man, on whom Allah Almighty have mercy! many a kindness, for he
was a liberal soul and a generous. By Allah, he sent for me one day, as
it were this blessed day, and I went in to him and found a party of his
intimates about him. Quoth he to me, 'Let me blood;' so I pulled out my
astrolabe and, taking the sun's altitude for him, I ascertained that
the ascendant was inauspicious and the hour unfavourable for blooding.
I told him of this, and he did according to my bidding and awaited a
better opportunity. So I made these lines in honour of him:—
I went to my patron some blood to let him, * But found that the moment
was far from good:
So I sat and I talked of all strangenesses, * And with jests and jokes
his good will I wooed:
They pleased him and cried he, 'O man of wit, * Thou hast proved thee
perfect in merry mood!'
Quoth I, 'O thou Lord of men, save thou * Lend me art and wisdom I'm
fou and wood
In thee gather grace, boon, bounty, suavity, * And I guerdon the world
with lore, science and gravity.'
Thy father was delighted and cried out to the servant, 'Give him an
hundred and three gold pieces with a robe of honour!' The man obeyed
his orders, and I awaited an auspicious moment, when I blooded him; and
he did not baulk me; nay he thanked me and I was also thanked and
praised by all present. When the blood-letting was over I had no power
to keep silence and asked him, 'By Allah, O my lord, what made thee say
to the servant, Give him an hundred and three dinars?'; and he
answered, 'One dinar was for the astrological observation, another for
thy pleasant conversation, the third for the phlebotomisation, and the
remaining hundred and the dress were for thy verses in my
commendation.'" "May Allah show small mercy to my father," exclaimed I,
"for knowing the like of thee." He laughed and ejaculated, "There is no
god but the God and Mohammed is the Apostle of God! Glory to Him that
changeth and is changed not! I took thee for a man of sense, but I see
thou babblest and dotest for illness. Allah hath said in the Blessed
Book,[FN#613] 'Paradise is prepared for the goodly who bridle their
anger and forgive men.' and so forth; and in any case thou art excused.
Yet I cannot conceive the cause of thy hurry and flurry; and thou must
know that thy father and thy grandfather did nothing without consulting
me, and indeed it hath been said truly enough, 'Let the adviser be
prized'; and, 'There is no vice in advice'; and it is also said in
certain saws, 'Whoso hath no counsellor elder than he, will never
himself an elder be';[FN#614] and the poet says:—
Whatever needful thing thou undertake, * Consult th' experienced and
contraire him not!
And indeed thou shalt never find a man better versed in affairs than I,
and I am here standing on my feet to serve thee. I am not vexed with
thee: why shouldest thou be vexed with me? But whatever happen I will
bear patiently with thee in memory of the much kindness thy father
shewed me." "By Allah," cried I, "O thou with tongue long as the tail
of a jackass, thou persistest in pestering me with thy prate and thou
becomest more longsome in thy long speeches, when all I want of thee is
to shave my head and wend thy way!" Then he lathered my head saying, "I
perceive thou art vexed with me, but I will not take it ill of thee,
for thy wit is weak and thou art but a laddy: it was only yesterday I
used to take thee on my shoulder[FN#615] and carry thee to school.' "O
my brother," said I, "for Allah's sake do what I want and go thy gait!"
And I rent my garments.[FN#616] When he saw me do this he took the
razor and fell to sharpening it and gave not over stropping it until my
senses were well nigh leaving me. Then he came up to me and shaved part
of my head; then he held his hand and then he said, "O my lord, haste
is Satan's gait whilst patience is of Allah the Compassionate. But
thou, O my master, I ken thou knowest not my rank; for verily this hand
alighteth upon the heads of Kings and Emirs and Wazirs, and sages and
doctors learned in the law, and the poet said of one like me:—
All crafts are like necklaces strung on a string, * But this Barber's
the union pearl of the band:
High over all craftsmen he ranketh, and why? * The heads of the Kings
are under his hand!"[FN#617]
Then said I, "Do leave off talking about what concerneth thee not:
indeed thou hast straitened my breast and distracted my mind." Quoth
he, "Meseems thou art a hasty man;" and quoth I, "Yes ! yes! yes!" and
he, "I rede thee practice restraint of self, for haste is Satan's pelf
which bequeatheth only repentance and ban and bane, and He (upon whom
be blessings and peace!) hath said, 'The best of works is that wherein
deliberation lurks;' but I, by Allah! have some doubt about thine
affair; and so I should like thee to let me know what it is thou art in
such haste to do, for I fear me it is other than good." Then he
continued, "It wanteth three hours yet to prayer time; but I do not
wish to be in doubt upon this matter; nay, I must know the moment
exactly, for truly, 'A guess shot in times of doubt, oft brings harm
about;' especially in the like of me, a superior person whose merits
are famous amongst mankind at large; and it doth not befit me to talk
at random, as do the common sort of astrologers." So saying, he threw
down the razor and taking up the astrolabe, went forth under the sun
and stood there a long time; after which he returned and counting on
his fingers said to me, "There remain still to prayer time three full
hours and complete, neither more nor yet less, according to the most
learned astronomicals and the wisest makers of almanacks." "Allah upon
thee," cried I, "hold thy tongue with me, for thou breakest my liver in
pieces." So he took the razor and, after sharpening it as before and
shaving other two hairs of my head, he again held his hand and said, "I
am concerned about thy hastiness and indeed thou wouldst do well to let
me into the cause of it; 't were the better for thee, as thou knowest
that neither thy father nor thy grandfather ever did a single thing
save by my advice." When I saw that there was no escape from him I said
to myself, "The time for prayer draws near and I wish to go to her
before the folk come out of the mosque. If I am delayed much longer, I
know not how to come at her." Then said I aloud, "Be quick and stint
this talk and impertinence, for I have to go to a party at the house of
some of my intimates." When he heard me speak of the party, he said,
"This thy day is a blessed day for me! In very sooth it was but
yesterday I invited a company of my friends and I have forgotten to
provide anything for them to eat. This very moment I was thinking of
it: Alas, how I shall be disgraced in their eyes!" "Be not distressed
about this matter," answered I; "have I not told thee that I am bidden
to an entertainment this day? So every thing in my house, eatable and
drinkable, shall be thine, if thou wilt only get through thy work and
make haste to shave my head." He replied, "Allah requite thee with
good! Specify to me what is in thy house for my guests that I may be
ware of it." Quoth I, "Five dishes of meat and ten chickens with
reddened breasts[FN#618] and a roasted lamb." "Set them before me,"
quoth he "that I may see them." So I told my people to buy, borrow or
steal them and bring them in anywise, And had all this set before him.
When he saw it he cried, "The wine is wanting," and I replied, "I have
a flagon or two of good old grape-juice in the house," and he said,
"Have it brought out!" So I sent for it and he exclaimed, "Allah bless
thee for a generous disposition! But there are still the essences and
perfumes." So I bade them set before him a box containing Nadd,[FN#619]
the best of compound perfumes, together with fine lign-aloes, ambergris
and musk unmixed, the whole worth fifty dinars. Now the time waxed
strait and my heart straitened with it; so I said to him, "Take it all
and finish shaving my head by the life of Mohammed (whom Allah bless
and keep!)." "By Allah," said he, "I will not take it till I see all
that is in it." So I bade the page open the box and the Barber laid
down the astrolabe, leaving the greater part of my head unpolled; and,
sitting on the ground, turned over the scents and incense and aloes
wood and essences till I was well nigh distraught. Then he took the
razor and coming up to me shaved off some few hairs and repeated these
lines:—
"The boy like his father shall surely show, * As the tree from its
parent root shall grow."[FN#620]
Then said he, "By Allah, O my son, I know not whether to thank thee or
thy father; for my entertainment this day is all due to thy bounty and
beneficence; and, although none of my company be worthy of it, yet I
have a set of honourable men, to wit Zantut the bath-keeper and Sali'a
the corn-chandler; and Silat the bean-seller; and Akrashah the
greengrocer; and Humayd the scavenger; and Sa'id the camel-man; and
Suwayd the porter; and Abu Makarish the bathman;[FN#621] and Kasim the
watchman; and Karim the groom. There is not among the whole of them a
bore or a bully in his cups; nor a meddler nor a miser of his money,
and each and every hath some dance which he danceth and some of his own
couplets which he caroleth; and the best of them is that, like thy
servant, thy slave here, they know not what much talking is nor what
forwardness means. The bath keeper sings to the tom-tom[FN#622] a song
which enchants; and he stands up and dances and chants,
'I am going, O mammy, to fill up my pot.'
As for the corn-chandler he brings more skill to it than any; he dances
and sings,
'O Keener,[FN#623] O sweetheart, thou fallest not short'
and he leaves no one's vitals sound for laughing at him. But the
scavenger sings so that the birds stop to listen to him and dances and
sings,
'News my wife wots is not locked in a box!'[FN#624]
And he hath privilege, for 'tis a shrewd rogue[FN#625] and a witty; and
speaking of his excellence I am wont to say,
My life for the scavenger! right well I love him, * Like a waving bough
he is sweet to my sight:
Fate joined us one night, when to him quoth I * (The while I grew weak
and love gained more might)
'Thy love burns my heart!' 'And no wonder,' quoth he * 'When the drawer
of dung turns a stoker wight.'[FN#626]
And indeed each is perfect in whatso can charm the wit with joy and
jollity;" adding presently, "But hearing is not seeing; and indeed if
thou make up thy mind to join us and put off going to thy friends,
'twill be better for us and for thee. The traces of illness are yet
upon thee and haply thou art going among folk who be mighty talkers,
men who commune together of what concerneth them not; or there may be
amongst them some forward fellow who will split thy head, and thou half
thy size from sickness." "This shall be for some other day," answered
I, and laughed with heart angered: "finish thy work and go, in Allah
Almighty's guard, to thy friends, for they will be expecting thy
coming." "O my lord," replied he, "I seek only to introduce thee to
these fellows of infinite mirth, the sons of men of worth, amongst whom
there is neither procacity nor dicacity nor loquacity; for never, since
I grew to years of discretion, could I endure to consort with one who
asketh questions concerning what concerneth him not, nor have I ever
frequented any save those who are, like myself, men of few words. In
sooth if thou were to company with them or even to see them once, thou
wouldst forsake all thy intimates." "Allah fulfil thy joyance with
them," said I, "needs must I come amongst them some day or other." But
he said, "Would it were this very day, for I had set my heart upon thy
making one of us; yet if thou must go to thy friends to day, I will
take these good things, wherewith thou hast honoured and favoured me,
to my guests and leave them to eat and drink and not wait for me;
whilst I will return to thee in haste and accompany thee to thy little
party; for there is no ceremony between me and my intimates to prevent
my leaving them. Fear not, I will soon be back with thee and wend with
thee whithersoever thou wendest. There is no Majesty and there is no
Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great!" I shouted, "Go thou to
thy friends and make merry with them; and do let me go to mine and be
with them this day, for they expect me." But the Barber cried, "I will
not let thee go alone;" and I replied, "The truth is none can enter
where I am going save myself." He rejoined, "I suspect that to day thou
art for an assignation with some woman, else thou hadst taken me with
thee; yet am I the right man to take, one who could aid thee to the end
thou wishest. But I fear me thou art running after strange women and
thou wilt lose thy life; for in this our city of Baghdad one cannot do
any thing in this line, especially on a day like Friday: our Governor
is an angry man and a mighty sharp blade." "Shame on thee, thou wicked,
bad, old man!" cried I, "Be off! what words are these thou givest me?"
"O cold of wit,"[FN#627] cried he, "thou sayest to me what is not true
and thou hidest thy mind from me, but I know the whole business for
certain and I seek only to help thee this day with my best endeavour."
I was fearful lest my people or my neighbours should hear the Barber's
talk, so I kept silence for a long time whilst he finished shaving my
head; by which time the hour of prayer was come and the Khutbah, or
sermon, was about to follow. When he had done, I said to him, "Go to
thy friends with their meat and drink, and I will await thy return.
Then we will fare together." In this way I hoped to pour oil on
troubled waters and to trick the accursed loon, so haply I might get
quit of him; but he said, "Thou art cozening me and thou wouldst go
alone to thy appointment and cast thyself into jeopardy, whence there
will be no escape for thee. Now by Allah! and again by Allah! do not go
till I return, that I may accompany thee and watch the issue of thine
affair." "So be it," I replied, "do not be long absent." Then he took
all the meat and drink I had given him and the rest of it and went out
of my house; but the accursed carle gave it in charge of a porter to
carry to his home but hid himself in one of the alleys. As for me I
rose on the instant, for the Muezzins had already called the Salam of
Friday, the salutation to the Apostle;[FN#628] and I dressed in haste
and went out alone and, hurrying to the street, took my stand by the
house wherein I had seen the young lady. I found the old woman on guard
at the door awaiting me, and went up with her to the upper story, the
damsel's apartment. Hardly had I reached it when behold, the master of
the house returned from prayers and entering the great saloon, closed
the door. I looked down from the window and saw this Barber (Allah's
curse upon him!) sitting over against the door and said, "How did this
devil find me out?" At this very moment, as Allah had decreed it for
rending my veil of secrecy, it so happened that a handmaid of the house
master committed some offence for which he beat her. She shrieked out
and his slave ran in to intercede for her, whereupon the Kazi beat him
to boot, and he also roared out. The damned Barber fancied that it was
I who was being beaten; so he also fell to shouting and tore his
garments and scattered dust on his head and kept on shrieking and
crying "Help ! Help !" So the people came round about him and he went
on yelling, "My master is being murdered in the Kazi's house!" Then he
ran clamouring to my place with the folk after him, and told my people
and servants and slaves; and, before I knew what was doing, up they
came tearing their clothes and letting loose their hair[FN#629] and
shouting, "Alas, our master!"; and this Barber leading the rout with
his clothes rent and in sorriest plight; and he also shouting like a
madman and saying, "Alas for our murdered master!" And they all made an
assault upon the house in which I was. The Kazi, hearing the yells and
the uproar at his door, said to one of his servants, "See what is the
matter"; and the man went forth and returned and said, "O my master, at
the gate there are more than ten thousand souls what with men and
women, and all crying out, 'Alas for our murdered master!'; and they
keep pointing to our house." When the Kazi heard this, the matter
seemed serious and he waxed wroth; so he rose and opening the door saw
a great crowd of people; whereat he was astounded and said, "O folk!
what is there to do?" "O accursed! O dog! O hog!" my servants replied;
"'Tis thou who hast killed our master!" Quoth he, "O good folk, and
what hath your master done to me that I should kill him?"— And
Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted
say.
When it was the Thirty-first Night,