At every reverse to the Unionists, the more or less secret sympathizers
with the seceders reiterated the cry that gentler measures should be
used against "our erring brothers." To one such pleader, the President
severely, but humorously, responded, in writing:
"Would you have me drop the war where it is, or would you prosecute it
in future with elder-stalk squirts charged with rose-water?"
Mr. Lincoln may or may not have said this and thus--but he certainly
_wrote_ it, for which see his letter to C. Bullitt, July 28, 1862. Guns
of elder squirts are mentioned by his dear Shakespeare.
* * * * *
"HELP ME LET GO!"
The year 1862 had its gold in the victories of Murfreesboro and
Perryville in the West, but in the neighborhood of the capital General
Burnside's defeat at Fredericksburg, while his supporters counted on
his justifying his superseding McClellan, clouded all Washington. The
staff-officer [Footnote: An account says it was Governor Curtin in
person.] who brought the painful news saw that the President was so
saddened that he faltered an apology for the nature of his mission.
"I wish, Mr. President, that I might be the bearer of good instead of
bad news--I wish I brought the intelligence by which you could conquer
or get rid of these rebellious States!"
His hearer smiled at the essay to cheer him, who believed he would
"never sleep again," and related, with a view to enliven him also, the
story of "Help me let go."
The version, circulating viva voce, ran as follows:
"That reminds me of the camp where a bear suddenly made his appearance
and scattered the party. All save one shinned up trees, or got behind
rocks, and that one meeting the animal head on, before he could turn,
seized bruin by the ears and held on 'like grim death to a dead nigger.'
"Recovering from their fright the hunters came out of ambush and were
unable to do anything but laugh at the fix their friend was in.
"'You ain't mastered, are you?' asked they.
"'Not licked, but I want you to help me let go!'"
Mr. Lincoln expressed himself when he said he was slow to learn and
slow to forget; the two qualities are redeemed by his wonderful ease
and quickness in remembering. To quote well is good, but to quote fitly
is better. His intimates noticed that he would reecho a story--a simile
or a tag--and so neatly apply it that it seemed fresh on the second
use. He was an admirable actor, though not appreciated in that light;
for he could reappear in the same part without palling. Hence one often
meets his stories, as, for instance, this one. His life law partner,
Herndon, tells it as used toward a petty judge, in Illinois, of
inferior ability to Lincoln's. It was a murder case, and this bully on
the bench kept ruling against Herndon and Lincoln. A material point was
ruled adversely just at the refreshment recess. Lincoln withdrew sore,
as he believed that the judge was personally controverting his
positions. He avowed his own feelings, and announced:
"I have determined to _crowd_ the court to the wall and regain my
position before night."
As Judge Herndon was a bystander, his account of the further
proceedings must be as faithful as veracious:
"At the reassembling of court, Mr. Lincoln rose to read a few
authorities in support of his position, keeping within the bounds of
propriety just far enough to avoid a reprimand. He characterized the
continuous rulings against him as not only unjust but foolish, and,
figuratively speaking, peeled the court from head to foot.... Lincoln
was alternately furious and eloquent, and after pursuing the court with
broad facts and pointed inquiries in rapid succession, he made use of
this homely incident to clinch his argument."
(The tale is given as about a wild boar. In either phrase, the point is
that the judge was attached to his Tartar and wanted to be let go!)
"The prosecution tried in vain to break Lincoln down," concludes Mr.
Herndon, "and the judge, badgered effectually by Lincoln's masterly
arraignment of law and fact, pretended to see the error of his former
position, and finally reversed his decision in his tormentor's favor.
Lincoln saw his triumph and surveyed a situation of which he was
master."
* * * * *