Judge Weldon was appointed United States attorney, acting in Illinois.
Being at Washington, some speculators, knowing he was an old friend of
the President, engaged him for their side. They wanted to get cotton
permits from the treasury, which was feasible, but made sure that the
military would recognize these passes--no doubt, if the President would
countersign them. Otherwise the army officers acted often without
regard to trade desires. On broaching the subject to the potentate on
whose lips so much hung at the epoch, the latter brightened up and, in
his branching-off manner, said:
"By the way, what has become of your friend Robert Lewis?"
Lewis was the clerk of the court in Illinois, and at home, well and
thrifty.
"Do you remember," continued the President, "his story about his going
to Missouri to look up some Mormon lands belonging to his father?"
Whereupon, as Weldon said that he had forgot some details, the
story-teller related with unction:
"This Robert Lewis, on coming of age, found papers in his father's
muniments, entitling him as heir to lands in northeastern Missouri,
where the Mormons had attempted settling before their enforced exodus.
There was no railroad, so Lewis rode out to that part and thought he
had located the land. For the night he stopped at a solitary log house.
A gruff voice bade him come in, not very hospitably. The owner was a
long, lanky man about eleven feet high, 'Bob' thought. He had a rifle
hanging on its hooks over the fireplace, also about eleven feet long,
Bob also reckoned. He was interrupted in 'necking' bullets, for they
were cast in a mold and left a little protuberance where the run left
off.
"This first comer had been there some time and seemed to know the
section, but was rather indifferent to the stranger's inquiries about
the site of _his_ lands. Teased at this unconcern, so opposite to the
usual feeling of settlers who like a neighbor in the lonesomeness,
Lewis hastened to lay down the law:
"'He was looking up the paternal purchase. Here were the titles,'
spreading out the papers. 'That is _my_ title to this section. You are
on it. What is yours?'
"The other had shown some slight interest in the topic by this time. He
paused in his occupation and pointed with his long arm to the long
rifle, saying:
"'Young man, do you see that gun? That is _my_ title, and if you do not
git out o' hyar pretty quick, you will feel the force of it!'
"Lewis crammed his papers into his saddle-bags and rushed out to
bestride his pony--but said that the man snapped his gun at him twice
before he was out of range.
"Now," resumed Mr. Lincoln, "the military authorities have the same
title against the civil ones--the guns! The gentlemen themselves may
judge what the result is likely to be!"
Mr. Weldon reported to his employers, at Willard's Hotel, and they
laughed heartily at the illustration, but they did not proceed with the
cotton _speck_, understanding what would be the Administration's policy
as well as if a proclamation were issued.--(By Judge Weldon.)
* * * * *
"CHEERS NOT MILITARY--BUT I LIKE THEM!"
After the disarray of the first Bull Run battle, the President drove
out to the camps to rally the "boys _in the blues_." General Sherman
was only a colonel, and he had the rudeness of a military man to hint
to the visitor that he hoped the orator would not speak so as to
encourage cheering and confusion. The President stood up in his
carriage and prefaced his speech with this exordium:
"Don't cheer, boys; I confess that I rather like it, myself; but
Colonel Sherman, here, says it isn't military, and I guess we had
better defer to his opinion." With his inimitable wink, which would
have been an independent fortune to a stage comedian.
* * * * *