"There was an ignorant man," said a senator, "who once applied to
Lincoln for the post of doorkeeper to the House. This man had no right
to ask Lincoln for anything. It was necessary to repulse him. But
Lincoln repulsed him gently and whimsically without hurting his
feelings, in this way:
"'So you want to be doorkeeper to the House, eh?'
"'Yes, Mr. President.'
"'Well, have you ever been a doorkeeper? Have you ever had any
experience of doorkeeping?'
"'Well, no--no actual experience, sir.'
"'Any theoretical experience? Any instructions in the duties and ethics
of doorkeeping?'
"'Umh--no.'
"'Have you ever attended lectures on doorkeeping?'
"'No, sir.'
'"Have you read any text-book on the subject?'
"'No.'
"'Have you conversed with any one who has read such a book?'
"'No, sir. I'm afraid not, sir.'
"'Well, then, my friend, don't you see that you haven't a single
qualification for this important post?' said Lincoln, in a reproachful
tone.
"'Yes, I do,' said the applicant, and he took leave humbly, almost
gratefully."--(Chicago _Record-Herald_.)
* * * * *