When the mercantile agencies were young, they acquired a consensus of
opinion upon a business man by annoying his acquaintances with
inquiries. One such house queried of Lincoln about one of his
neighbors. His reply was a smart burlesque on the bases on which they
rated their registered "listed."
"I am well acquainted with Mr. X----, and know his circumstances. First
of all, he has a wife and baby; together, they ought to be worth
$50,000 to any man. Secondly, he has an office in which there is a
table worth $1.50, and three chairs worth, say, $1. Last of all, there
is in one corner a large rat-hole, which will bear _looking into!_
Respectfully, etc."
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"I WANTED TO SEE THEM SPREAD!"
It is related that the ushers and secret service officials on duty at
the Executive Mansion during the war were prone to congregate in a
little anteroom and exchange reminiscences. This was directly against
instructions by the President.
One night the guard and ushers were gathered in the little room talking
things over, when suddenly the door opened, and there stood President
Lincoln, his shoes in his hand.
All the crowd scattered save one privileged individual, the Usher
Pendel, of the President's own appointment, as he had been kind to the
Lincoln children.
The intruder shook his finger at him and, with assumed ferocity,
growled:
"Pendel, you people remind me of the boy who set a hen on forty-three
eggs."
"How was that, Mr. President?" asked Pendel.
"A youngster put forty-three eggs under a hen, and then rushed in and
told his mother what he had done.
"'But a hen can't set on forty-three eggs,' replied the mother.
"'No, I guess she can't, but I just wanted to see her spread herself.'
"That's what I wanted to see you boys do when I came in," said the
President, as he left for his apartments.--(By Thomas Pendel, still
usher, in 1900.)
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