Lincoln had been reading from Edmund Burke's life, when he threw down
the book with disrelish. He fell into his habit of musing, and on
reviving, said to his associate, Herndon:
"I've wondered why book publishers do not have blank biographies on
their shelves, always ready for an emergency; so that if a man happens
to die, his heirs or his friends, if they wish to perpetuate his
memory, can purchase one already written--but with blanks. These blanks
_they_ can fill up with rosy sentences full of high-sounding praise."
He sent the "Dictionary of Congress" his autobiography in a single
paragraph of fifty words--as an example(?).
* * * * *
"THE HOMELIEST MAN UNDER GOVERNMENT."
When General Lee surrendered to General Grant, one point was noticed by
the spectators which, it was held, distinguished the Cavalier from the
Puritan. Grant was in his fighting clothes and his every-day sword by
his side, while General Lee, dressed faultlessly as a soldier should
always be, carried a court sword, presented him as a honor by the
Southerners. So, in wars, Providence does not flourish the showy
weapon, but uses a strong and sharp blade without ornamental hilt.
Abraham Lincoln was the instrument of Heaven for work--ceaseless,
bloody work, hard, for it was that least to his taste.
From boyhood the looks of the wood-chopper and river boatman were
subjects of jeering. Whether the budding genius spurned such
adventitious aids as graces of person in his career, or was already a
philosopher who believed that handsome is that handsome does is a
winning motto, we may never know. It is enough that he joined in the
laugh and kept the ball rolling.
On the loss of a first love, one Annie Rutledge--a name he said he
always loved--his friends were alarmed for his health and sanity. They
took away the knife every man carried in the West, and discovered it
was the obligatory one presented to the ugliest man and not to be
disposed of otherwise than to one still homelier.
There is a record of the clerical gentleman to whom Lincoln was
justified in offering it, who died with it in his uncontested
possession, in Toronto.
As is the custom, an office-holder going out of his seat calls on the
President with his successor to transfer the seals and other tokens.
The unlucky man enumerated the good qualities of his substitute, and
was surprised that Mr. Lincoln should dilate upon his with excessive
regrets that he was going to leave the service. This Mr. Addison was
indeed a first-class servant, but uncommonly ill-favored.
"Yes, Addison," said the chief, "I have no doubt that Mr. Price is a
pearl of price, but--but nothing can compensate me for the loss of
_you_, for, when you retire, I shall be the homeliest man in the
government!"
* * * * *