IN all good company, we meet with a certain manner, phraseology, and
general conversation, that distinguish the man of fashion. These can
only be acquired by frequenting good company, and being particularly
attentive to all that passes there.
WHEN invited to dine or sup at the house of any well-bred man, observe
how he does the honors of his table, and mark his manner of treating his
company.
ATTEND to the compliments of congratulation or condolence that he pays;
and take notice of his address to his superiors, his equals and his
inferiors; nay, his very looks and tone of voice, are worth your
attention, for we cannot please without a union of them all.
THERE is a certain distinguishing diction that marks the man of fashion,
a certain language of conversation that every gentleman should be master
of. Saying to a man just married, ‘I wish you joy,’ or to one who has
lost his wife, ‘I am sorry for your loss,’ and both perhaps with an
unmeaning countenance, may be civil, but it is nevertheless vulgar. A
man of fashion will express the same thing more elegantly, and with a
look of sincerity, that shall attract the esteem of the person he speaks
to. He will advance to the one, with warmth and cheerfulness, and
perhaps squeezing him by the hand, will say, ‘Believe me, my dear Sir, I
have scarce words to express the joy I feel, upon your happy alliance
with such or such a family,’ &c. To the other in affliction, he will
advance slower, and with a peculiar composure of voice and countenance,
begin his compliments of condolence with, ‘I hope, Sir, you will do me
the justice to be persuaded, that I am not insensible of your
unhappiness, that I take part in your distress, and shall ever be
affected where _you_ are so.’
YOUR first address to, and indeed all your conversation with, your
superiors, should be open, cheerful and respectful; with your equals
warm and animated; with your inferiors, hearty, free and unreserved.
THERE is a fashionable kind of small-talk, which however trifling it may
be thought, has its use in mixed companies: Of course you should
endeavour to acquire it. By small-talk, I mean a good deal to say on
unimportant matters; for example, foods, the flavour and growth of
wines, and the chit-chat of the day. Such conversation will serve to
keep off serious subjects, that might sometimes create disputes. This
chit-chat is chiefly to be learned by frequenting the company of the
ladies.