_He is bound Prentice to a Taylor, the Knavery of that trade, his Master
of a stitch, he is turn’d over to a Baker, who misusing him he runeth
away._
My next Master forsooth was a Taylor, a dapper fellow, to whom the
Shoomaker (because he would be sure to be rid of me) bound me Prentice
the first day I went to him, after I had been there a little while,
whether it be the nature of the trade, or what it was I know not, but
all my mind ran upon penny-loaves and pudding-pies; & whereas before I
was more given to drink than to eat, now my whole appetite was for
feeding. If I went by a Bakers shop, oh how would I cast mine eyes upon
the penny loaves, wishing my belly a Cupboard to contain such precious
jewels; neither could it sink into my faith, that there was any trade in
the world comparable to a Bakers, but that which made me the more
hungry, I conceive was that we were much pinched in our diet; for my
Master made us observe more fasting days, then were set down in the
Kallender, and then with a counterfeit zeal he would preach a long
Lecture of sobriety unto his Prentices, not that he had any Religion in
him (for at another mans table he would gurmandize like an Epicure) but
to save victuals; and when we fell short at meals (as we oftentimes did)
he would put us off with an old Proverb, that _many a sack is tied up
before it be full_, for his other qualifications and endowments, take a
brief view in this short but true character of him.
He was such another as Sir _Thomas Overbury_ speaks of, a creature made
up of shreds that were pared off from _Adam_ when he was rough cast. His
chiefest care was, how to cloath other mens backs, and feed his own
belly; how to make them fine, and himself fat, against Christmas,
Easter, or Whitsuntide; he was a man of some repute, but most time else
like a thick Cloak in Summer, hang’d behind the door. His offensive and
defensive weapons, were only a needle and a thimble; with the first he
murdered many _Egyptian_ vermine, and the last he made a Gauntlet for
the top of his middle finger, which at other times jingling in his
pocket with his bodkin, made the Ale-wife to think he had mony in his
pocket, which caused oft-times a flagon to be scored up behind the door.
His chief upholder was the sin of pride, a new fashion being to him like
the Term to a Lawyer; to gain which he used to frequent those Churches
and places where Gallants most resorted, when on a sudden the Mechanicks
wifes and kitchen maids gowns came trowling in to be new altered, for
_out of the fashion, out of the world_. He differ’d altogether from God,
for with him the best pieces were still marked out for damnation, and
without hope of recovery cast down into Hell, for though he had many
bottoms, yet his conscience was bottomless. Of all weapons he most
affected the long Bill, and he who paid him but one half, he would be
sure to be no looser by him.
An ancient Gentleman one day brought a suit of Cloaths to our Shop to be
made, who that he might have them the warmer, had bought two yards of
Bayes to cotton his breeches in the inner-side; my Master thought that
was too good for such an use, and therefore took it to himself, and
supplyed the place with old painting Cloath. It happened afterwards the
Gentleman wearing those Cloaths, going to _Islington_, as he went over a
stile, a snag or cleft of the same took hold of his Breeches and rent a
great slash or gap in them, that quite discover’d my Masters theft; for
right against the hole, was the picture of a Devil with a muck-fork in
his hand, which made the gentleman to admire how the Devil he should
come there; searching further he found more of his fellows, and all of
them with muck-forks in their hands, tormenting of _Dives_ in the
flames; this put him in a great rage, to consider how that by the
knavery of the Taylor, he should carry _Hell-fire_ in his Breech;
ripping the other Slop, there was the _Prodigal_ on Horse-back, his
journy into a far Country, Hawks and his Whores, his feeding husks with
Swine, with his returning to his Father, and the killing the fatted
Calf, wherefore in great rage he came to my Master, calling him knave,
thief, and a great many other names, such as came first to his tongues
end; my Master desired him to be quiet, told him it was stole off his
Shop-board, but for his part, he wish’d if he had it that he might find
it in the _Hell_, meaning the _Hell_ under his Shop-board, which was the
receptacle for all stoln goods.
Now those pieces which were condemned to this _Hell_, were termed
Cabadge, and we never made any Cloaths either for men or women, in which
he snipt not some pieces from them; sometimes out of a Suit and Cloak,
enough to make a Boy a payer of breeches, or a doublet, and sometimes
enough for breeches and doublet too. Then we drave a trade with the
Sadlers, for peices of Cloaths to make seats for Sadles. The Cabadge of
course Cloath was to make dust-cloaths for the legs of Country
Plough-men, wollen caps, and mittens for old women; all was fish that
came to net. When a Gentleman bought a suit and cloak of good cloath, if
my Master could but perswade four or five more to buy of the same, out
of them all he would steal a suit and cloak for himself. Then for womens
cloaths, the cabadge of cloath of silver, brancht Sattin, and the like,
went for pin-cushions, pin-pillows, womens purses; and if black,
Church-wardens caps. Cabadge of Tabbee, coloured Taffaty and Sarcenet,
for facings of the hands of doublets, _&c_, when we set on gold and
silver lace, we should stretch it so, that in four or five yards we
would get a quarter of a yard, which with old silver buttons and such
like stuff, went for ends of gold and silver; and sometimes in rich
laces we would rub them so on our knees, that in eight or nine ounces,
half an ounce would come off, which went also to the encrease of ends of
gold and silver.
Now being the Under-Prentice, my chief employment was to run on errands,
so that having thereby an opportunity, I often visited the _Dagger_ in
_Foster-lane_ for pudding-pies, my mouth always either peny loaf or
pudding-pie fashion. Amongst other places that I went to, one of the
chief was a Mercers in _Pater-Noster-row_, from whence my Master
received a small snip for every Gown he helpt him to custom withall. Now
their way of dealing was thus; my master bought the stuff, then the
Mercer was to justifie that it cost him so much a yard, perhaps eight or
ten shillings more in the Gown than it did, for which my Master when he
brought customers to him, was to perswade them to the stuff, avouching
there was not such another penny-worth in the Town, and that he was
confident that he saved little or nothing by it; but only for to gain
their custome; by which you see he who carries a Taylor with him to help
him buy Cloaths, carries a Thief in stead of a Friend, for the Mercer
and Taylor was both agreed, and what the first says, the other will
swear to. Now to hear them muster up the names of their stuffs, would
make you swear they were raysing so many Devils, there’s your
_Parragon_, _Burragon_, _Phillipine_, _Cheny_, _Grogrum_, _Mow-hair_,
_Damasilly_, _Novato_, _Pinckanilly_, _Pinckadino_, _Prunella_,
_Itiliano_, _Castiliano_, _Perpetuana_, _Sempiternum_, _Tamme_,
_Tammet_, _Tammeletto_, and a thousand more besides, such as _Adam_
never gave names to, being more for pride than for warmth, and rather to
cloath sin, than to cover nakedness.
But ere I could attain to any perfection in the Trade, my Master dyed of
that which he lived by, _the Stich_, being taken with it as he was
contriving a new fashion for a womans placket, that it should be neither
before, nor behind, nor on either side, but before he could finish his
project he was taken with this _Stich_, so that that invention was
utterly lost thereby: now because he dyed of such a disease, I muster’d
up all my wit and invention together, and made for him this Epitaph.
_A Taylor in this Grave doth lie,
Who by the_ Stich _did live and die;
Longer his lifes_ thread _might have been,
But death with’s_ sheares _came him between,
Wound up his_ bottom, _bound his feet,
And_ sow’d _him up in’s winding-sheet._
My Mistress not continuing the Trade, I was turned over to a Baker, at
which I rejoyced exceedingly, being heartily desirous to be dealing with
Belly-timber, remembring how I was full fed when as I lived before with
the Cook. Here I found the Maxim to be still true, that there is
_knavery in all Trades_, for as my last Master theived from peoples
backs, so this robbed their bellies; and was in one sort worse than a
Taylor, for Taylors commonly filch their Cabadge only from the rich, who
can the better spare it; but a Baker by making his bread lesser than it
should be, stealeth it out of the poor peoples bellies, for doing which
he deserveth the same fate to attend on him as did on _Pharaohs_ Baker,
viz. hanging; or at leastwise to look through an oaken planck, and shew
the people a knaves head.
He would be sure to be in fee with the Clark of the Market, and
pretended great love to him, though he hated him as his Executioner. By
this meanes he had always timely notice of my _Lord Mayors_ going about,
when he would be sure to have his bread full weight stand at his window;
and if at any time he chanc’d to be catcht, oh how he would repine at
his forc’d charity, to see his bread given away to the poor, hating
Justice it self for the _weigh-scales sake_, though it did the Beggars
as much good as their dinner, to see his basket sent to the prison.
When we had any stale mouldy bread, such as we could not sell our
selves, or was returned us again by our customers, we used to soak it in
water, and so mould it up again in our dough, which in Summer time at
four days end would roap so, that if you pul’d it in pieces it would
appear as if it were all Cobwebs, which made us always to sell such
bread new. Now what other _Knaveries_ he used in his trade, I was not
there long enough to know them: for because I used to forget to rise
betimes in a morning, my Master would remember me with a good ashen wand
which he always kept in store by him, wherewith he would beat me as your
Sea-men do Stock-fish, in so much that my flesh had on it all the
colours in the Rain-bow, _viz._ black, blew, green, red, yellow, white,
_&c._ above all things in the world I liked not beating, wherefore I
resolved to march off, yet before I went I purposed to be in part
revenged on him for those many blows he had given me. Now so it was that
he lay above stairs, and I below, and when he came down, if he found me
not up and about my business, he would so rib-roast me, that I could
have felt no cold although it had been frosty weather. Against that
morning I intended to be gone, I had parched some pease in the oven,
that they were almost as hard as leaden bullets; them did I strow here
and there upon the stairs against my Masters coming down, and so having
put up my things, and made my self ready, I staid expecting what the
event would be, anon my Master called me at the stairs head, I heard him
very well, but made him no answer, wherefore he supposing I was asleep,
was coming down to give me the bastinado, when treading on the pease his
heels flew up, and down he came tumbling from the top to the bottom,
swearing all the way he was falling, that this damn’d Rogue (meaning me)
intended for to break his neck; I hearing him to thunder so loud,
thought it would lighten upon my Jacket presently, and therefore to
prevent it, I opened the door and shewed him a fair payr of heels,
leaving him sore bruised with his fall, and more vexed that he could not
come at me, to revenge himself of me for the same.
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