CHAPTER XV.

“I have been thinking of bringing up my mother to live with me,” said

the Mr Lithgow in whom Mrs Laurie and her daughter were beginning to

forget the humble Johnnie: “I see no reason why she should live in

poverty in Kirklands, while I am comfortable here.”

His face flushed slightly as he concluded, and he began to drum with his

fingers in mere shyness and embarrassment upon Miss Annie Laurie’s

work-table. Randall, a little distance from him, was turning over with

infinite scorn Miss Annie’s picture-books. The two young men had grown

familiar in the house, though it was not yet a month since they entered

it first.

“And I think you are very right,” said Mrs Laurie cordially, “though

whether Mrs Lithgow might be pleased with a town life, or whether—”

She paused; it was not very easy to say “whether your mother would be a

suitable housekeeper for you.” Mrs Laurie could not do violence either

to her own feelings or his by suggesting such a doubt.

“I think it would be a great risk,” said Randall, “and if you consulted

me, would certainly warn you against it. Your mother knows nothing of

London—she would not like it; besides, a young man seeking his fortune

should be alone.”

“Cold doctrine,” said Lithgow, smiling, “and to come from _you_.”

His eye fell unconsciously upon Menie; then as he met a quick upward

glance from her, he stammered, blushed, and stopped short—for Johnnie

Lithgow was as shy and sensitive as a girl, and had all the reverence of

youthful genius for womanhood and love. With compunction, and an idea

that he had been jesting profanely, Lithgow hurriedly began again.

“I am so vain as to think _I_ myself would be London to my mother—old

ground long known and well explored. If she would not like the change,

of course—but I fancy she might.”

“I advise you against it, Lithgow,” said Randall; “in your case I should

never entertain such an idea. There is my father—no one can have a

greater respect for him than I—but to bring him to live with me—to bring

him to London—I should think it the merest folly, injurious to us both.”

“Your wisdom is very safe at least,” said Mrs Laurie, with a little

asperity, “since there is no chance of your good father leaving his own

respectable house for an unknown and strange place in any case; but I

think your wish a very natural one, and very creditable to you, Mr

Lithgow; and whether she comes or not, the knowledge that you wish for

her will be joy to your mother’s heart.”

With his usual half-disdainful smile Randall had turned away, and there

was a slight flush of anger upon Mrs Laurie’s face. Indignation and

scorn,—there was not much hope of friendliness where such unpromising

elements had flashed into sudden existence. Menie, looking on with

terror, and perceiving a new obstacle thrown into her way, hastily

endeavoured to make a diversion.

“Do you know, Mr Lithgow, that July Home is coming up to London to see

me?”

There came a sudden brightening to all the kindly lines of the young

man’s face. “July Home! if I am too familiar, forgive me, Randall—but I

have so many boyish recollections of her. She was such a sweet little

timid simple womanly child too. I wonder if July minds me as I mind

her.”

Randall stood apart still, with his smile upon his lips. True, there had

been a momentary curve on his brow at Lithgow’s first mention of his

sister’s name, but his face cleared immediately. Poor little July!

Randall might know her sufficiently timid and simple—but July was a

baby, a toy, a good-hearted kindly little fool to her intellectual

brother—and any higher qualities sweet or womanly about her remained to

be found out by other eyes than his.

“And Miss Annie has promised us all the sight-seeing in the world,” said

Menie with forced gaiety, anxious to talk, and to conciliate—to remove

all trace of the little breaking of lances which had just passed. “July

and Jenny and I, we are to see all manner of lions; and though they will

be very dull at Crofthill when she is gone, Mr Home and Miss Janet have

consented—so next week July is to come.”

“Poor July! she will have enough to talk of all her life after,” said

her brother.

“Yes; our kindly country seems such a waste and desert place to you

London gentlemen,” said Mrs Laurie; “and it is wonderful, after all, how

we manage to exist—ay, even to flourish and enjoy ourselves, in these

regions out of the world.”

But Randall made no response. A shivering chill came over Menie Laurie;

this half-derisive silence on one side, this eager impulse of

contradiction and opposition on the other, smote her to the heart. It

had been rising gradually for some days past, and Menie, without being

quite aware of it, had noticed the bias with which her mother and her

betrothed listened and replied to each other; the unconscious

inclination of each to give an unfavourable turn to the other’s words, a

harshness to the other’s judgment, an air of personal offence to a

differing opinion, of grave misdemeanour to a piece of blameless

jesting. Lithgow, stranger as he was, discovered in a moment, so quick

and sensitive was his nature, the incipient estrangement, and grew

embarrassed and annoyed in spite of himself—annoyed, embarrassed, it

looked so much like the last ebullition of some domestic quarrel; but

Lithgow was a stranger, and had no interest farther than for the harmony

of the moment in any strife of these conflicting minds.

But here sits one whose brow must own no curve of displeasure, whose

voice must falter with no embarrassment. She is sitting by the little

work-table in the window, her eyes, so wistful as they have grown, so

large and full, and eloquent with many meanings, turning from one to the

other with quick earnest glances, which are indeed whispers of

deprecation and peace-making. “He means something else than he says; he

is not cold-hearted nor insincere; you mistake Randall,” say Menie’s

eyes, as they labour to meet her mother’s, and gaze with eager

perturbation in her face, deciphering every line and wrinkle there. “Do

not speak so—you vex my mother; but she does not mean to be angry,” say

the same strained and ever-changing eyes, as they turn their anxious

regards to Randall’s face. She sits between us and the light—you can see

her girlish figure outlined against the window—her face falling from

light to shadow, brightening up again from shadow to light, as she turns

from one to the other; you can see how eagerly she listens, prompt to

rush forward with her own softening gentle speech upon the very border

of the harsher words, whose utterance she cannot prevent. The very stoop

of her head—the changeful expression of her face, which already

interprets the end of the sentence ere it is well begun—her sudden

introduction of one subject after another, foreign to their former

talk—her sudden interest in things indifferent, and all the wiles and

artifices with which she hedges off all matters of personal or

individual interest, and abstracts the conversation into the channel of

mere curiosity, of careless and everyday talk—are all sufficiently

visible exponents of Menie’s new position, and new trials. She is

talking to Lithgow now so rapidly, and with so much demonstration of

interest—you would almost fancy this poor loving Menie had caught a

contagious enthusiasm from Miss Annie Laurie’s juvenile delights—talking

of these sights of the great unknown London, which have grown so

indifferent and paltry to this suddenly enlightened and experienced mind

of hers; but in the midst of all you can see how steadily her wakeful

eyes keep watch upon Randall yonder by Miss Annie’s miniature

book-cases, and Mrs Laurie here, with that little angry flush upon her

brow.

So slow the hours seem—so full of opportunities of discussion—so

overbrimming with subjects on which they are sure to differ; till Menie,

in her gradually increasing excitement, forgets to note the progress of

time; but is so glad—oh, so glad and joyful—to see the evening fall dark

around them, to hear Maria’s step drawing near the door, while the

lights she carries already throw their glimmer on the wall. It is late;

and now the visitors take leave, somewhat reluctantly, for Lithgow

begins to like his new friends greatly; and Randall, though something of

irritation is in the face, where his smile of disdain still holds sway,

is Menie’s ardent wooer still, and feels a charm in her presence, simple

though he has discovered her to be. But at last they are gone—safely

gone; and Menie, when she has watched them from the door, and listened

to their steps till they die away a distant echo upon the silent air,

steals away in the dark to her own room—not for any purpose—simply to

rest herself a little; and her manner of rest is, sitting down upon a

low stool close by the window, where some pale moonlight comes in

faintly, and bending down her face into her clasped hands to weep a

little, silently and alone.

Is it but to refresh the wistful eyes which this night have been so

busy? is it but to wash and flood away the pain that has been in their

eager deprecating looks, their speeches of anxious tenderness? But Menie

does not say even to herself what it is for, nor why. For some weeks

now, Menie has been sadly given to “crying for nothing,” as she herself

calls it. She thinks she ought to be ashamed of her weakness, and would

be afraid to acknowledge it to any living creature; but somehow, for

these few days, Menie has come away about this same hour every night

into the solitude here, to cry, with sometimes a little impatient sob

bursting out among her tears—though she cannot tell you, will not tell

you—would not whisper even to her own very secret heart, the reason why.

Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 75, No. 460, February, 1854 · 第 4 / 9 章