As soon as I was clear of the door, I looked up into Ben's face and
said, "Father, where are we going?"
"Well," replied he, "I am going to take you to school."
"School! What am I going to school for?" replied I.
"For biting your grandmother, I expect, in the first place, and to get a
little learning, and a good deal of flogging, if what they say is true!
I never was at school myself."
"What do you learn, and why are you flogged?"
"You learn to read, and to write, and to count; I can't do either--
more's the pity; and you are flogged, because without flogging, little
boys can't learn anything."
This was not a very satisfactory explanation. I made no further
inquiries, and we continued our way in silence until we arrived at the
school door; there was a terrible buzz inside. Ben tapped, the door
opened, and a volume of hot air burst forth, all the fresh air having
been consumed in repeating the fresh lessons for the day. Ben walked up
between the forms, and introduced me to the schoolmaster, whose name was
Mr Thadeus O'Gallagher, a poor scholar from Ireland, who had set up an
establishment at half-a-guinea a quarter for day scholars; he was
reckoned a very severe master, and the children were kept in better
order in his school than in any other establishment of the kind in the
town; and I presume that my granny had made inquiries to that effect, as
there were one or two schools of the same kind much nearer to my
mother's house. Ben, who probably had a great respect for learning, in
consequence of his having none himself, gave a military salute to Mr
O'Gallagher, saying, with his hand still to his hat, "A new boy, sir,
come to school."
"Oh, by the powers! don't I know him?" cried Mr O'Gallagher; "it's the
young gentleman who bit a hole in his grandmother; Master Keene, as they
call him. Keen teeth, at all events. Lave him with me; and that's his
dinner in the basket I presume; lave that too. He'll soon be a good
boy, or it will end in a blow-up."
Ben put down the basket, turned on his heel, and left the schoolroom,
and me standing by the throne of my future pedagogue--I say throne,
because he had not a desk, as schoolmasters generally have, but a sort
of square dais, about eighteen inches high, on which was placed another
oblong superstructure of the same height, serving him for a seat; both
parts were covered with some patched and torn old drugget, and upon
subsequent examination I found them to consist of three old claret cases
without covers, which he had probably picked up very cheap; two of them
turned upside down, so as to form the lower square, and the third placed
in the same way upside down, upon the two lower. Mr O'Gallagher sat in
great dignity upon the upper one, with his feet on the lower, being thus
sufficiently raised upon an eminence to command a view of the whole of
his pupils in every part of the school. He was not a tall man, but very
square built, with carroty hair and very bushy red whiskers; to me he
appeared a most formidable person, especially when he opened his large
mouth and displayed his teeth, when I was reminded of the sign of the
Red Lion close to my mother's house. I certainly never had been before
so much awed during my short existence as I was with the appearance of
my pedagogue, who sat before me somewhat in the fashion of a Roman
tribune, holding in his hand a short round ruler, as if it were his
truncheon of authority. I had not been a minute in the school before I
observed him to raise his arm; away went the ruler whizzing through the
air, until it hit the skull of the lad for whom it was intended at the
other end of the schoolroom. The boy, who had been talking to his
neighbour, rubbed his poll, and whined.
"Why don't you bring back my ruler, you spalpeen?" said Mr O'Gallagher.
"Be quick, Johnny Target, or it will end in a blow-up."
The boy, who was not a little confused with the blow, sufficiently
recovered his senses to obey the order, and whimpering as he came up,
returned the ruler to the hands of Mr O'Gallagher.
"That tongue of yours will get you into more trouble than it will
business, I expect, Johnny Target; it's an unruly member, and requires a
constant ruler over it." Johnny Target rubbed his head and said
nothing.
"Master Keene," said he, after a short pause, "did you see what a
tundering tump on the head that boy got just now, and do you know what
it was for?"
"No," replied I.
"Where's your manners, you animal? No `If you plase.' For the future,
you must not forget to say, `No, sir,' or, `No, Mr O'Gallagher.' D'ye
mind me--now say yes--what?"
"Yes, what!"
"Yes, what! you little ignoramus; say `yes, Mr O'Gallagher,' and
recollect, as the parish clerk says, `this is the last time of asking.'"
"Yes, Mr O'Gallagher."
"Ah! now you see, there's nothing like coming to school--you've learn't
manners already; and now, to go back again, as to why Johnny Target had
the rap on the head, which brought tears into his eyes? I'll just tell
you, it was for talking; you see, the first thing for a boy to learn, is
to hold his tongue, and that shall be your lesson for the day; you'll
just sit down there and if you say one word during the whole time you
are in the school, it will end in a blow-up; that means, on the present
occasion, that I'll skin you alive as they do the eels, which being
rather keen work, will just suit your constitution." I had wit enough
to feel assured that Mr O'Gallagher was not to be trifled with, so I
took my seat, and amused myself with listening to the various lessons
which the boys came up to say, and the divers punishments inflicted--few
escaped. At last, the hour of recreation and dinner arrived, the boys
were dismissed, each seized his basket, containing his provisions, or
ran home to get his meal with his parents: I found myself sitting in the
school-room _tete-a-tete_ with Mr O'Gallagher, and feeling very well
inclined for my dinner I cast a wistful eye at my basket, but I said
nothing; Mr O'Gallagher, who appeared to have been in thought, at last
said--
"Mr Keene, you may now go out of school, and scream till you're hoarse,
just to make up for lost time."
"May I take my dinner, sir?" inquired I.
"Is it your dinner you mane?--to be sure you may; but, first, I'll just
look into the basket and its contents; for you see, Mr Keene, there's
some victuals that don't agree with larning; and if you eat them, you'll
not be fit for your work when your play-hours are over. What's easy of
digestion will do; but what's bad for little boys' stomachs may get you
into a scrape, and then it will end in a blow-up; that is, you'll have a
taste of the ferrule or the rod--two assistants of mine, to whom I've
not yet had the pleasure of introducing you--all in good time. If what
I've hear of you be true, you and they will be better acquainted afore
long."
Mr O'Gallagher then examined the contents of my basket; my aunt Milly
had taken care that I should be well provided: there was a large paper
of beef sandwiches, a piece of bread and cheese, and three or four
slices of seed-cake. Mr O'Gallagher opened all the packages, and,
after a pause, said--
"Now, Master Keene, d'ye think you would ever guess how I came by all my
larning, and what I fed upon when it was pumped into me? Then I'll tell
you; it was dry bread, with a little bit of cheese when I could get it,
and that wasn't often. Bread and cheese is the food to make a scholar
of ye; and mayhap one slice of the cake mayn't much interfere, so take
them, and run away to the play-ground as fast as you can; and, d'ye hear
me, Master Keene, recollect your grace before meat--`For what we have
received, the Lord make us truly thankful.' Now, off wid you. The rest
of the contents are confiscated for my sole use, and your particular
benefit."
Mr O'Gallagher grinned as he finished his oration; and he looked so
much like a wild beast, that I was glad to be off as fast as I could. I
turned round as I went out of the door, and perceived that the
sandwiches were disappearing with wonderful rapidity; but I caught his
eye: it was like that of a tiger's at his meal, and I was off at
redoubled speed.