I think that the reader will agree with me that my mother showed in her
conduct great strength of character. She had been compelled to marry a
man whom she despised, and to whom she felt herself superior in every
respect; she had done so to save her reputation. That she had been in
error is true but situation and opportunity had conspired against her;
and when she found out the pride and selfishness of the man to whom she
was devoted, and for whom she had sacrificed so much,--when her ears
were wounded by proposals from his lips that she should take such a step
to avoid the scandal arising from their intimacy--when at the moment
that he made such a proposition, and the veil fell down and revealed the
heart of man in its selfishness, it is not to be wondered that, with
bitter tears, arising from wounded love, anger, and despair at her
hopeless position, she consented. After having lost all she valued,
what did she care for the future? It was but one sacrifice more to
make, one more proof of her devotion and obedience. But there are few
women who, like my mother, would have recovered her position to the
extent that she did. Had she not shown such determination, had she
consented to have accompanied her husband to the barracks, and have
mixed up with the other wives of the men, she would have gradually sunk
down to their level; to this she could not consent. Having once freed
herself from her thraldom, he immediately sunk down to his level, as she
rose up to a position in which, if she could not ensure more than
civility and protection, she was at all events secure from insult and
ill-treatment.
Such was the state of affairs when I had arrived at the important age of
six years, a comic-looking, laughing urchin, petted by the officers, and
as fall of mischief as a tree full of monkeys. My mother's business had
so much increased, that, about a year previous to this date, she had
found it necessary to have some one to assist her, and had decided upon
sending for her sister Amelia to live with her. It was, however,
necessary to obtain her mother's consent. My grandmother had never seen
my mother since the interview which she had had with her at Madeline
Hall shortly after her marriage with Ben the marine. Latterly, however,
they had corresponded; for my mother, who was too independent to seek
her mother when she was merely the wife of a private marine, now that
she was in flourishing circumstances had first tendered the olive
branch, which had been accepted, as soon as my grandmother found that
she was virtually separated from her husband. As my grandmother found
it rather lonely at the isolated house in which she resided, and Amelia
declared herself bored to death, it was at last agreed that my
grandmother and my aunt Amelia should both come and take up their
residence with my mother, and in due time they arrived. Milly, as my
aunt was called, was three years younger than my mother, very pretty and
as smart as her sister, perhaps a little more demure in her look, but
with more mischief in her disposition. My grandmother was a cross,
spiteful old woman; she was very large in her person, but very
respectable in her appearance. I need not say that Miss Amelia did not
lessen the attraction at the circulating library, which after her
arrival was even more frequented by the officers than before.
My aunt Milly was very soon as fond of me as I was of mischief; indeed
it is not to be wondered at, for I was a type of the latter. I soon
loved her better than my mother, for she encouraged me in all my tricks.
My mother looked grave, and occasionally scolded me; my grandmother
slapped me hard and rated me continually; but reproof or correction from
the two latter were of no avail; and the former, when she wished to play
any trick which she dared not do herself, employed me as her agent; so
that I obtained the whole credit for what were her inventions, and I may
safely add, underwent the whole blame and punishment; but that I cared
nothing for; her caresses, cakes, and sugar-plums, added to my natural
propensity, more than repaid me for the occasional severe rebukes of my
mother, and the vindictive blows I received from the long fingers of my
worthy grandmother. Moreover, the officers took much notice of me, and
it must be admitted, that, although I positively refused to learn my
letters, I was a very forward child. My great patron was a Captain
Bridgeman, a very thin, elegantly-made man, who was continually
performing feats of address and activity; occasionally I would escape
with him and go down to the mess, remain at dinner, drink toasts, and,
standing on the mess-table, sing two or three comic songs which he had
taught me. I sometimes returned a little merry with the bumpers, which
made my mother very angry, my old grandmother to hold up her hands, and
look at the ceiling through her spectacles, and my aunt Milly as merry
as myself. Before I was eight years old, I had become so notorious,
that any prank played in the town, any trick undiscovered, was
invariably laid to my account; and many were the applications made to my
mother for indemnification for broken windows and other damage done, too
often, I grant, with good reason, but very often when I had been
perfectly innocent of the misdemeanour. At last I was voted a common
nuisance, and every one, except my mother and my aunt Milly, declared
that it was high time that I went to school.
One evening the whole of the family were seated at tea in the back
parlour. I was sitting very quietly and demurely in a corner, a sure
sign that I was in mischief, and so indeed I was (for I was putting a
little gunpowder into my grandmother's snuff-box, which I had purloined,
just that she might "smell powder," as they say at sea, without danger
of life or limb), when the old woman addressed my mother--
"Bella, is that boy never going to school? it will be the ruin of him."
"What will be the ruin of him, mother?" rejoined my aunt Milly; "going
to school?"
"Hold your nonsense, child: you are as bad as the boy himself," replied
granny. "Boys are never ruined by education; girls sometimes are."
Whether my mother thought that this was an innuendo reflecting upon any
portion of her own life, I cannot tell; but she replied very tartly.
"You're none the worse for my education, mother, or you would not be
sitting here."
"Very true, child," replied granny; "but recollect, neither would you
have married a marine--a private marine, Bella, while your sister looks
up to the officers. Ay," continued the old woman, leaving off her
knitting and looking at her daughter, "and is likely to get one, too, if
she plays her cards well--that Lieutenant Flat can't keep out of the
shop." (My granny having at this moment given me an opportunity to
replace her snuff-box, I did not fail to profit by it; and as I
perceived her knitting-pin had dropped on the floor, I stuck it into the
skirt of her gown behind, so that whenever she looked for it, it was
certain ever to be behind her.)
"Mr Flat is of a very respectable family, I hear say," continued my
grandmother.
"And a great fool," interrupted my mother. "I hope Milly won't listen
to him."
"He's an officer," replied my granny, "not a private."
"Well, mother, I prefer my private marine, for I can make him do as I
please; if he's a private, I'm commanding officer, and intend so to be
as long as I live."
"Well, well, Bella, let us say no more on the old score; but that boy
must go to school. Deary me, I have dropped my needle."
My grandmother rose, and turned round and round, looking for her needle,
which, strange to say, she could not find; she opened her snuff-box, and
took a pinch to clear her optics. "Deary me, why, what's the matter
with my snuff? and where can that needle be? Child, come and look for
the needle; don't be sticking there in that corner."
I thought proper to obey the order and pretended to be very diligent in
my search. Catching aunt Milly's eye, I pointed to the knitting-needle
sticking in the hind skirts of my grandmother's gown, and then was down
on my knees again, while my aunt held her handkerchief to her mouth to
check her laughter.
A minute afterwards, Ben the marine first tapped gently, and then opened
the door and came in; for at that late hour the officers were all at
dinner, and the shop empty.
"There are three parcels of books for you to take," said my mother; "but
you've plenty of time, so take down the tea-things, and get your tea in
the kitchen before you go."
"You haven't got a shilling, Bella, about you? I want some 'baccy,"
said Ben, in his quiet way.
"Yes, here's a shilling, Ben; but don't drink too much beer," replied my
mother.
"Deary me, what can have become of my needle?" exclaimed my grandmother,
turning round.
"Here it is, ma'am," said Ben, who perceived it sticking in her skirt.
"That's Percival's work, I'll answer for it."
My granny received the needle from Ben, and then turned to me: "You
good-for-nothing boy; so you put the needle there, did you? pretending
to look for it all the while; you shall go to school, sir, that you
shall."
"You said a needle, granny; I was looking for a needle: you didn't say
your knitting-pin; I could have told you where that was."
"Yes, yes, those who hide can find; to school you go, or I'll not stay
in the house."
Ben took the tea-tray out of the room. He had been well drilled in and
out of barracks.
"I'll go down in the kitchen to father," cried I, for I was tired of
sitting still.
"No, you won't, sir," said my mother, "you naughty boy; the kitchen is
not the place for you, and if ever I hear of you smoking a pipe again--"
"Captain Bridgeman smokes," replied I.
"Yes, sir, he smokes cigars; but a child like you must not smoke a
pipe."
"And now come here, sir," said my granny, who had the lid of her
snuff-box off, and held it open in her hand; "what have you been doing
with my snuff?"
"Why, granny, have I had your snuff-box the whole day?"
"How should I know?--a boy like you, with every finger a fish-hook; I do
believe you have; I only wish I could find you out. I had fresh snuff
this morning."
"Perhaps they made a mistake at the shop, mother," said aunt Milly;
"they are very careless."
"Well, I can't tell: I must have some more; I can't take this."
"Throw it in the fire, granny," said I; "and I'll run with the box and
get it full again."
"Well, I suppose it's the best thing I can do," replied the old woman,
who went to the grate, and leaning over, poured the snuff out on the
live coals. The result was a loud explosion and a volume of smoke,
which burst out of the grate into her face--the dinner and lappets
singed, her spectacles lifted from her nose, and her face as black as a
sweep's. The old woman screamed, and threw herself back; in so doing,
she fell over the chair upon which she had been sitting, and, somehow or
another, tripped me up, and lay with all her weight upon me. I had been
just attempting to make my escape during the confusion--for my mother
and Milly were equally frightened--when I found myself completely
smothered by the weight of my now almost senseless granny, and, as I
have before mentioned, she was a very corpulent woman. Had I been in
any other position I should not have suffered so much; but I had
unfortunately fallen flat on my back, and was now lying with my face
upwards, pressed upon by the broadest part of the old woman's body; my
nose was flattened, and my breath completely stopped. How long my
granny might have remained there groaning I cannot tell; probably, as I
was somewhat a spoiled child before this, it might have ended in her
completely finishing me; but she was roused up from her state of half
syncope by a vigorous attack from my teeth, which, in the agony of
suffocation, I used with preternatural force of jaw from one so young.
I bit right through everything she had on, and as my senses were fast
departing, my teeth actually met with my convulsive efforts. My granny,
roused by the extreme pain, rolled over on her side, and then it was
that my mother and aunt, who supposed that I had made my escape from the
room, discovered me lifeless, and black in the face. They ran to me,
but I still held on with my teeth, nor could I be separated from my now
screaming relative, until the admission of fresh air, and a plentiful
sprinkling of cold water brought me to my senses, when I was laid on the
sofa utterly exhausted. It certainly was a narrow escape, and it may be
said that the "biter was nearly bit." As for my granny, she recovered
her fright and her legs, but she did not recover her temper; she could
not sit down without a pillow on the chair for many days, and, although
little was said to me in consequence of the danger I had incurred, yet
there was an evident abhorrence of me on the part of the old woman, a
quiet manner about my mother, and a want of her usual hilarity on the
part of my aunt, which were to me a foreboding of something unpleasant.
A few days brought to light what was the result of various whisperings
and consultations. It was on a fine Monday morning, that Ben made his
appearance at an unusually early hour; my cap was put on my head, my
cloak over my shoulders; Ben took me by the hand, having a covered
basket in the other, and I was led away like a lamb to the butcher. As
I went out there was a tear in the eyes of my aunt Milly, a melancholy
over the countenance of my mother, and a twinkling expression of
satisfaction in my grandmother's eyes, which even her spectacles could
not conceal from me: the fact was, my grandmother had triumphed, and I
was going to school.