DREAMS

The man, for the first time, stood face to face with Life and, for the

first time, knew that he was a man.

For a long time he had known that some day he would be a man. But he

had always thought of his manhood as a matter of years. He had said to

himself: "when I am twenty-one, I will be a man." He did not know,

then, that twenty-one years--that indeed three times twenty-one

years--cannot make a man. He did not know, then, that men are made of

other things than years.

I cannot tell you the man's name, nor the names of his parents, nor

his exact age, nor just where he lived, nor any of those things. For

my story, such things are of no importance whatever. But this is of

the greatest importance: as the man, for the first time, stood face to

face with Life and, for the first time, realized his manhood, his

manhood life began in Dreams.

It is the dreams of life that, at the beginning of life, matter. Of

the Thirteen Truly Great Things of Life, Dreams are first.

It was green fruit time. From the cherry tree that grew in the upper

corner of the garden next door, close by the hedge that separated the

two places, the blossoms were gone and the tiny cherries were already

well formed. The nest, that a pair of little brown birds had made that

spring in the hedge, was just empty, and, from the green laden

branches of the tree, the little brown mother was calling anxious

advice and sweet worried counsel to her sons and daughters who were

trying their new wings.

In the cemetery on the hill, beside a grave over which the sod had

formed thick and firm, there was now another grave--another grave so

new that on it no blade of grass had started--so new that the yellow

earth in the long rounded mound was still moist and the flowers that

tried with such loving, tender, courage, to hide its nakedness were

not yet wilted. Cut in the block of white marble that marked the

grass-grown grave were the dearest words in any tongue--Wife and

Mother; while, for the new-made mound that lay so close beside, the

workmen were carving on a companion stone the companion words.

There were two other smaller graves nearby--one of them quite

small--but they did not seem to matter so much to the tall young

fellow who had said to himself so many times: "when I am twenty-one, I

will be a man." It was the two graves marked by the companion words

that mattered. And certainly he did not, at that time, feel himself a

man. As he left the cemetery to go home with an old neighbor and

friend of the family, he felt himself rather a very small and lonely

boy in a very big and empty world.

But there had been many things to do in those next few days, with no

one but himself to do them. There had been, in the voices of his

friends, a note that was new. In the manner of the men who had come to

talk with him on matters of business, he had felt a something that he

had never felt before. And he had seen the auctioneer--a lifelong

friend of his father--standing on the front porch of his boyhood home

and had heard him cry the low spoken bids and answer the nodding heads

of the buyers in a voice that was hoarse with something more than long

speaking in the open air. And then--and then--at last had come the

sharp blow of the hammer on the porch railing and from the trembling

lips of the old auctioneer the word: "Sold."

It was as though that hammer had fallen on the naked heart of the boy.

It was as though the auctioneer had shouted: "Dead."

And so the time had come, a week later, when he must go for a last

look at the home that was his no longer. Very slowly he had walked

about the yard; pausing a little before each tree and bush and plant;

putting forth his hand, at times, to touch them softly as though he

would make sure that they were there for he saw them dimly through a

mist. The place was strangely hushed and still. The birds and bees and

even the butterflies seemed to have gone somewhere far away. Very

slowly he had gone up the steps to open the front door. Very slowly he

had passed from room to room in the empty, silent, house. On the

kitchen porch he had paused again, for a little, because he could not

see the steps; then had gone on to the well, the garden, the

woodhouse, the shop, the barn, and so out into the orchard that shaded

the gently rising slope of the hill beyond the house. At the farther

side of the orchard, on the brow of the hill, he had climbed the rail

fence and had seated himself on the ground where he could look out and

away over the familiar meadows and fields and pastures.

A bobo-link, swinging on a nearby bush, poured forth a tumbling

torrent of silvery melody. Behind him, on the fence, a meadow lark

answered with liquid music. About him on every side, in the soft

sunlight, the bluebirds were flitting here and there, twittering

cheerily the while over their bluebird tasks. And a woodpecker, hard

at work in the orchard shade, made himself known by the din of his

industry.

But the man, who did not yet quite realize that he was a man, gave no

heed to these busy companions of his boyhood. To him, it was as though

those men with their shovels had heaped that mound of naked, yellow,

earth upon his heart. The world, for him, was as empty as the old

house down there under the orchard hill. For a long time he sat very

still--seeing nothing, hearing nothing, heeding nothing--conscious

only of that dull, aching, loneliness--conscious only of that heavy

weight of pain.

A mile or more away, beyond the fields, a moving column of smoke from

a locomotive lifted itself into the sky above the tree tops and

streamed back a long, dark, banner. As the column of smoke moved

steadily on toward the distant horizon, the young man on the hilltop

watched it listlessly. Then, as his mind outran the train to the

cities that lay beyond the line of the sky, his eyes cleared, his

countenance brightened, his thoughts went outward toward the great

world where great men toil mightily; and the long, dark, banner of

smoke that hung above the moving train became to him as a flag of

battle leading swiftly toward the front. Eagerly now he

watched--watched until, far away, the streaming column of smoke passed

from sight around a wooded hill and faint and clear through the still

air--a bugle call to his ears--came the long challenging whistle.

Then it was that he realized his manhood--knew that he was a man--and

understood that manhood is not a matter of only twenty-one years. And

then it was--as he sat there alone on the brow of the little hill with

his boyhood years dead behind him and the years of his manhood

before--that his manhood life began, even as the manhood life of every

man really begins, with his Dreams.

Indeed it is true that all life really begins in dreams. Surely the

lover dreams of his mistress--the maiden of her mate. Surely mothers

dream of the little ones that sleep under their hearts and fathers

plan for their children before they hold them in their arms. Every

work of man is first conceived in the worker's soul and wrought out

first in his dreams. And the wondrous world itself, with its myriad

forms of life, with its grandeur, its beauty and its loveliness; the

stars and the heavenly bodies of light that crown the universe; the

marching of the days from the Infinite to the Infinite; the procession

of the years from Eternity to Eternity; all this, indeed, is but God's

good dream. And the hope of immortality--of that better life that lies

beyond the horizon of our years--what a vision is that--what a

wondrous dream--given us by God to inspire, to guide, to comfort, to

hold us true!

With wide eyes the man looked out upon a wide world somewhat as a

conquering emperor, confident in his armed strength, might from a

hilltop look out over the scene of a coming battle. He did not see the

grinding hardships, the desperate struggles, the disastrous losses,

the pitiful suffering. The dreadful dangers did not grip his heart.

The horrid fear of defeat did not strike his soul. He did not know the

dragging weight of responsibility nor the dead weariness of a losing

fight. He saw only the deeds of mighty valor, the glorious exhibitions

of courage, of heroism, of strength. He felt only the thrill of

victories, the pride of honors and renown. He knew only the

inspiration of a high purpose. He heard only the call to greatness.

And it was well that in his Dreams there were only these.

The splendid strength of young manhood stirred mightily in his limbs.

The rich, red, blood of youth moved swiftly in his veins. His eager

spirit shouted aloud in exultation of the deeds that he would do. And,

surely, it was no shame to him that at this moment, when for the first

time he realized his manhood, this man, in his secret heart, felt

himself to be a leader of men, a conqueror of men, a savior of men. It

was no shame to him that he felt the salvation of the world depending

upon him.

And he was right. Upon him and upon such as he the salvation of the

world _does_ depend. But it is well, indeed, that these

unrecognized, dreaming, saviors of the world do not know, as they

dream, that their crosses, even then, are being prepared for them. It

is their salvation that they do not know. It is the salvation of the

world that they do not know.

And then, as one from the deck of a ship bound for a foreign land

looks back upon his native shore when the vessel puts out from the

harbor, this man turned from his years that were to come to his years

that were past and from dreaming of his future slipped back into the

dreams of his Yesterdays. Perhaps it was the song of the bobo-link

that did it; or it may have been the music of the meadow lark; or

perhaps it was the bluebird's cheerful notes, or the woodpecker's loud

tattoo--whatever it was that brought it about, the man dreamed again

the dreams of his boyhood--dreamed them even as he dreamed the dreams

of his manhood.

And there was no one to tell him that, in dreaming, his boyhood and

his manhood were the same.

Once again a boy, on a drowsy summer afternoon, he lay in the shade of

the orchard trees or, in the big barn, sought the mow of new mown hay,

and, with half closed eyes, slipped away from the world that droned

and hummed and buzzed so lazily about him into another and better

world of stirring adventure and brave deeds. Once again, when the sun

was hidden under heavy skies and a steady pouring rain shut him in,

through the dusk of the attic he escaped from the narrow restrictions

of the house, and, from his gloomy prison, went out into a fairyland

of romance, of knighthood, and of chivalry. Again it was winter time

and the world was buried deep under white drifts, with all its

brightness and beauty of meadow and forest hidden by the cold mantle,

and all its music of running brooks and singing birds hushed by an icy

hand, when, snug and warm under blankets and comforters, after an

evening of stories, he slipped away into the wonderland of dreams--not

the irresponsible, sleeping, dreams--those do not count--but the

dreams that come between waking and sleeping, wherein a boy dare do

all the great deeds he ever read about and can be all the things that

ever were put in books for boys to wish they were.

Oh, but those were brave dreams--those dreams of his Yesterdays! No

cruel necessity of life hedged them in. No wall of the practical or

possible set a limit upon them. No right or wrong decreed the way they

should go. In his Yesterdays, there were fairy Godmothers to endow him

with unlimited power and to grant all his wishes, even unto mountains

of golden wealth and vast caverns filled with all manner of precious

gems. In his Yesterdays, there were wicked giants and horrid dragons

and evil beasts to kill, with always a good Genii to see that they did

not harm him the while he bravely took their baleful lives. In his

Yesterdays, he was a prince in gorgeous raiment; an emperor with

jeweled scepter and golden crown; a knight in armor, with a sword and

proudly stepping horse of war; he was a soldier leading a forlorn

hope; or a general, with his plumed staff officers about him,

directing the battle from a mountain top; he was a sailor cast away on

a desert island; or a captain commanding his ship in a storm or,

clinging to the shrouds in a smother of battle flame and smoke,

shouting his orders through a trumpet to his gallant crew; he was a

pirate; a robber chief; a red Indian; a hunter; a scout of the

plains--he could be anything, in those dreams of his Yesterdays,

anything.

So, even as the man, the boy had dreamed. But the man did not think of

it in that way--the dreams of his _manhood_ were too real.

Then in his Yesterdays would come, also, the putting of his dreams

into action, for the play of children, even as the works of men, are

only dreams in action after all. The quiet orchard became a vast and

pathless forest wherein lurked wild beasts and savage men ready to

pounce upon the daring hunter; or, perhaps, it was an enchanted wood

with lords and ladies imprisoned in the trees while in the carriage

house--which was not a carriage house at all but a great castle--a

cruel giant held captive their beautiful princess. The haymow was a

robbers' cave wherein great wealth of booty was stored; the garden, a

desert island on which lived the poor castaway. And many a long summer

hour the bold captain clung to the rigging of his favorite apple tree

ship and gazed out over the waving meadow sea, or the general of the

army, on his rail fence war horse, directed the battle from the

hilltop or led the desperate charge.

But rarely, in his Yesterdays, could the boy put his dreams into

successful action alone. Alone he could dream but to realize his

dreams, he needs must have the help of another. And so _she_ came

to take her place in his life, to help him play out his dreams--the

little girl who lived next door.

Who was she? Why, she was the beautiful princess held captive by the

giant in his carriage house castle until rescued by the brave prince

who came to her through the enchanted wood. She was the crew of the

apple tree ship; the robber band; the army following her general in

his victorious charge; and the relief expedition that found the

castaway on his desert island. Sometimes she was even a cannibal

chief, or a monster dragon, or a cruel wild beast. And always--though

the boy did not know--she was a good fairy weaving many spells for his

happiness.

The man remembered well enough the first time that he met her. A new

family was moving into the house that stood just below the garden and,

from his seat on the gate post, the boy was watching the big wagons,

loaded with household goods, as they turned into the neighboring yard.

On the high seat of one of the wagons was the little girl. A big man

lifted her down and the boy, watching, saw her run gaily into the

house. For some time he held his place, swinging his bare legs

impatiently, but he did not see the little girl come out into the yard

again. Then, dropping to the ground, the boy slipped along the garden

fence under the currant bushes to a small opening in the hedge that

separated the two places. Very cautiously, at first, he peered through

the branches. Then, upon finding all quiet, he grew bolder, and on

hands and knees crept part way through the little green tunnel to find

himself, all suddenly, face to face with her.

That was the beginning. The end had come several years later when the

family had moved again.

The parting, too, he remembered well enough. A boy and girl parting it

was. And the promises--boy and girl promises they were. At first many

poorly written, awkwardly expressed, laboriously compiled, but warmly

interesting letters were exchanged. Then the letters became shorter

and shorter; the intervals between grew longer and longer; until, even

as childhood itself goes, she had slipped out of his life. Even as the

brave dreams of his boyhood she had gone--even as his Yesterdays.

The bobo-link had long ago left his swinging bush. The meadow lark had

gone to find his mate in a distant field. The twittering bluebirds had

finished their tasks. The woodpecker had ceased from his labor. The

sunshine was failing fast. Faint and far away, through the still

twilight air, came the long, clear, whistle of another train that was

following swiftly the iron ways to the world of men.

The man on the hill came back from his Yesterdays--came back to

wonder: "where is the little girl now? Has she changed much? Her eyes

would be the same and her hair--only a little darker perhaps. And does

she ever go back into the Yesterdays? It is not likely," he thought,

"no doubt she is far too busy caring for her children and attending to

her household duties to think of her childhood days and her childhood

playmate. And what would her husband be like?" he wondered.

There was no woman in the dreams of the man who that afternoon, for

the first time, realized his manhood and began his manhood life. He

dreamed only of the deeds that he would do; of the work he would

accomplish; of the place he would win; and of the honors he would

receive. The little girl lived for him only in his Yesterdays. She did

not belong to his manhood years. She had no place in his manhood

dreams.

Slowly he climbed the rail fence again and, through the orchard, went

down the hill toward the house. But he did not again enter the house.

He went on past the kitchen porch to the garden gate where he stood,

for some minutes, looking toward the hedge that separated the two

places and toward the cherry tree that grew in the corner of the

garden next door.

At the big front gate he paused again and turned lingeringly as one

reluctant to go. The old home in the twilight seemed so lonely, so

deserted by all to whom it had been most kind.

At last, with a movement suggestive of a determination that could not

have belonged to his boyhood, he set his face toward the world. Down

the little hill in the dusk of the evening he went, walking quickly;

past the house where the little girl had lived; across the creek at

the foot of the hill; and on up the easy rise beyond. And, as he went,

there was on his face the look of a man. There was in his eyes a new

light--the light of a man's dream. Nor did he once look back.

To-morrow he would leave the friends of his boyhood; he would leave

the scenes of his Yesterdays; he would go to work out his dreams--even

as in his Yesterdays, he would play them out--for the works of men are

as the plays of children but dreams in action, after all.

Would he, _could_ he, play out his manhood dreams alone?

And the woman also, for the first time, was face to face with Life

and, for the first time, knew that she was a woman.

For a long while she had seen her womanhood approaching. Little by

little, as her skirts had been lengthened, as her dolls had been put

away, as her hair had been put up, she had seen her womanhood drawing

near. But she had always said to herself: "when I do not play with

dolls, when I can dress like mother, and fix my hair like mother, I

will be a woman." She did not know, then, that womanhood is a matter

of things very different from these. Until that night she did not

know. But that night she knew.

I cannot tell you the woman's name, nor where she lived, nor any of

those things that are commonly told about women in stories. But, as my

story is not that kind of a story, it will not matter that I cannot

tell. What really matters to my story is this: the woman, that night,

when, for the first time, she knew herself to be a woman, began her

woman life in dreams. Because the dreams of life are of the greatest

importance--because Dreams are of the Thirteen Truly Great Things of

Life--this is my story: that the woman life of this woman, when first

she knew herself to be a woman, began in dreams.

It was the time of the first roses. For a week or more she had been

very busy with a loving, tender, joyous, occupation that left her no

time to think of herself. Her dearest friend--her girlhood's most

intimate companion, and, save for herself, the last of their little

circle--was to be married and she was to be bridesmaid.

They had been glad days--those days of preparation--for she rejoiced

greatly in the happiness of her friend and had shared, as fully as it

was possible for another to share, the sweet sacredness, the holy

mysteriousness, and the proud triumph of it all. But with the gladness

of those days, there had come into her heart a strange quietness like

the quietness of an empty room that is furnished and ready but without

a tenant.

At the wedding that evening she had been all that a bridesmaid should

be, even to the last white ribbon and the last handful of rice, for

she would that no shadow of a cloud should come over the happiness of

her friend. But when the new-made husband and wife had been put safely

aboard the Pullman, and, with the group on the depot platform

frantically waving hats and handkerchiefs and shouting good lucks and

farewells, the train had pulled away, the loneliness in her heart had

become too great to hide. Her escort had made smart jokes about her

tears, alleging disappointment and envy. He was a poor, shallow,

witless, fool who could not understand; and that he could not

understand mattered, to her, not at all. She had commanded him to take

her home and at her front door had thanked him and sent him away.

And then it was--in the blessed privacy of her own room, with the door

locked and the shades drawn close, with her wedding finery thrown

aside and the need of self-repression no longer imperative--that, as

she sat in a low chair before the fire, she looked, for the first

time, boldly at Life and, for the first time, knew that she was a

woman--knew that womanhood was not a matter of long skirts, of hair

dressing, and the putting away of dolls.

She was tired, very tired, from the responsibilities and excitement of

the day but she did not feel that she could sleep. From the fire, she

looked up to the clock that ticked away so industriously on the

mantle. It was a little clock with a fat, golden, cupid grasping the

dial in his chubby arms as though striving to do away with time when

he might better have been busy with his bow and arrows. The hands of

the clock pointed nearly midnight. The young woman looked into the

fire again.

Already her girl friend had been a wife several hours--a wife. Already

the train was miles away bearing the newly wedded ones to their future

home--their home. The hours would go swiftly into days, the days into

weeks and months and years, and there would be boys and girls--their

children. And the years would go swiftly as the days and there would

be the weddings of their sons and daughters and then--the children of

their children.

And the woman who that night knew that she was a woman--the woman

whose heart, as she sat alone before the fire, was even as an empty

room--a room that is furnished and ready but without a tenant--what,

this woman asked herself, would the years bring her? The years of her

childhood and girlhood were past. What of her womanhood years that

were to come?

There are many doors in the life of these modern days at which a woman

may knock with hope of being admitted; and this woman, as she sat

alone before her fire that night, paused before them all--all save

two. Two doors she saw but did not pause before; and _one_ of

them was idleness and pleasure. And one other door there is that

stands open wide so that there is no need to knock for admittance.

Before this wide open door the woman paused a long time. It is older

than the other doors. It is very, very, old. Since the beginning it

has never been closed. But though it stood open so wide and there was

no need to knock for admittance, still the woman could not enter for

she was alone. No woman may enter that old, old, open door, alone.

Three times before she had stood before that ancient door and had been

urged to cross the threshold; but always she had hesitated, had held

back, and turned away. She wondered if always she would hesitate, if

always she would turn away; or would some one come with whom she could

gladly, joyously, confidently, cross the threshold. She could not say.

She could only wait. And while she waited she would knock at one of

the other doors. She would knock because she must. The custom of the

age, necessity, circumstances, forced her to knock at one of those

doors that, in the life of these modern days, opens to women who seek

admittance alone.

I cannot tell just what the circumstances of the woman's life were nor

why it was necessary. Nor does it in the least matter that I cannot

tell. The necessity, the circumstances, have nothing to do with my

story save this: that, whatever they were, I am quite sure they ought

not to have been. I am quite sure that _any_ circumstance, or

necessity, or custom, that forces a woman who knows herself to be a

woman to seek admittance at any one of those doors through which she

must enter alone is not right. This it is that belongs to my story:

the woman did not wish to enter the life that lies on the other side

of those doors through which she must go alone.

Alone in her room that night, with the shades drawn close and the only

light the light of the dancing fire, this woman who, for the first

time, knew herself to be a woman, did not dream of a life on the other

side of those doors at which she must ask admittance. She dreamed of a

future beyond the old, old, door that has stood open wide since the

beginning.

And it was no shame to her that she so dreamed. It was no shame that

she called before her, one by one, those who had asked her to cross

with them the threshold and those who might still ask her. It was no

shame that, while her heart said always, "no," she still

waited--waited for one whom she knew not but only knew that she would

know him when he came. And it was no shame to her that, even while

this was so, she saw herself in the years to come a wife and mother.

In the glowing heart of the fire she saw her home warm with holy love,

bright with sacred companionship. In the dancing flames she saw her

children--happy, beautiful, children. Nor did she in her dreams fear

the flickering shadows that came and went for in the dusk of the room

she felt the dear presence of that one who was to be her other self;

who was to be to her strength in her weakness, hope in her sadness,

and comfort in her mourning.

It is well indeed that the shadows of life bring no fears into our

dreams else we would not dare to dream and life itself would lose its

purpose and its meaning.

So the woman saw her future, not in the shadows that came and went

upon the wall, but in the glowing heart of the fire. And, as she

dreamed her dreams of womanhood, her face grew beautiful with a

tender, thoughtful, beauty that is given only to those women who dream

such dreams. With the realization of her womanhood and the beginning

of her woman life, her lips curved in a smile that was different from

the smile of girlhood and there came into her eyes a light that was

never there before. And then, as one setting out on a long journey

might turn back for a last farewell view of loved familiar scenes, she

turned to go back for a little into her Yesterdays.

There was a home in those Yesterdays and there was a mother--a mother

who lived now in a better home than any of earth's building. A father

she had never known but there was a big, jolly, uncle who had done and

was doing yet all that an uncle of limited means could do to take her

father's place in the life of his sister's only child. And there was

sunshine in her Yesterdays--bright sunshine--unclouded by city smoke;

and flowers unstained by city grime; and blue skies unmarred by city

buildings; and there were beautiful trees and singing birds and broad

fields in her Yesterdays. Also there were dreams--such dreams as only

those who are very young or very wise dare to dream.

It may have been the firelight that did it; it may have been the

vision of her children who lived only in the life that she saw beyond

the old, old, open door: or perhaps it was the wedding finery that lay

over a nearby chair: or the familiar tick, tick, tick, of the clock in

the arms of the fat cupid who neglected his bow and arrows in a vain

attempt to do away with time--whatever it was that brought it about,

the woman dreamed again the dreams of childhood--dreamed them even as

she dreamed those first dreams of her womanhood.

And no one was there to tell her that the dreams of her girlhood and

of her womanhood were the same.

Again, on a long summer afternoon, as she kept house in a snug corner

of the vine shaded porch, she was really the mistress of a grand

mansion that was furnished with beautiful carpets and furniture, china

and silver, books and pictures. And in that mansion she received her

distinguished guests and entertained her friends with charming grace

and dignity, even as she set her tiny play table with dishes of

thimble size and served tea and cakes to her play lady friends. Again,

as she rocked her dollies to sleep beside the evening fire and tucked

them into their beds with a little mother kiss for each, there were

dreams of merry boys and girls who should some day call her mother.

And there were dreams of fine dresses and jewels the while she

stitched tiny garments for her newest child who had come to her with

no clothing at all, or fashioned a marvelous hat for another whose

features were but a smudge of paint and whose hair had been glued on

so many times that it was far past combing and a hat was a necessity

to hide the tangled mat. And sometimes she was a princess shut up in a

castle tower and a noble prince, who wore golden armor and rode a

great war horse, would come to woo her and she would ride away with

him through the deep forest followed by a long procession of lords and

ladies, of knights and squires and pages. Or, perhaps, she would be a

homeless girl in pitiful rags who, because of her great beauty, would

be stolen by gypsies and sold to a cruel king to be kept in a dungeon

until rescued by a brave soldier lover.

And, in her Yesterdays, the master of the dream home over which she

was mistress--the father of her dream children--the prince with whom

she rode away through the forest--the soldier lover who rescued her

from the dungeon--and the hero of many other adventures of which she

was the heroine--was always the same. Outside her dreams he was a

sturdy, brown cheeked, bare legged, little boy who lived next door.

But what a man is outside a woman's dreams counts for little after

all--even though that woman be a very small and dainty little woman

with a very large family of dolls.

The woman remembered so well their first meeting. It was at the upper

end of the garden near the strawberry beds and he was creeping toward

her on hands and knees through a hole in the hedge that separated the

two places. How she had jumped when she first caught sight of him! How

he had started and turned as if to escape when he saw her watching

him! How shyly they had approached each other with the first timid

offerings of friendship!

Many, many, times after that did he come to her through the opening in

the hedge. Many, many, times did she go to him. And he came in many

disguises. In many disguises she helped him put his dreams into

action. But always, to her, he was a hero to be worshiped, a leader to

be followed, a master to be obeyed. Always she was very proud of

him--of his strength and courage--of the grand deeds he wrought--and

of the great things that he would some day do. And sometimes--the most

delightful times of all--at her wish, he would help her, in his

masterful way, to play out her dreams. And then, though he liked being

an Indian or a robber or a soldier best, he would be a model husband

and help her with the children; although he did, at times, insist upon

punishing them rather more than she thought necessary. But when the

little family was ill with the measles or scarlet fever or whooping

cough no dream husband could have been more gentle, more thoughtful,

or more wise, in his attention.

And once they had played a wedding.

The woman whose heart was as an empty room stirred in her chair

uneasily as one who feels the gaze of a hidden observer. But the door

was locked, the shades drawn close, and the only light was the

flickering light of the fire. The night without was very dark and

still. There was no sound in the sleeping house--no sound save the

steady tick, tick, tick, of the time piece in the chubby arms of the

fat cupid on the mantle.

And once they had played a wedding.

It was when her big, jolly, uncle was married. The boy and the girl

were present at the ceremony and she wore a wonderful new dress while

the boy, scrubbed and combed and brushed, was arrayed in his best

clothes with shoes and stockings. There were flowers and music and

good things to eat and no end of laughter and gay excitement; and the

jolly uncle looked so big and fine and solemn; and the bride, in her

white veil, was so like a princess in one of the dreams; that the

little girl was half frightened and felt a queer lump in her throat as

she clung to her mother's hand. And there was a strange ceremony in

which the minister, in his gown, read out of a book and said a prayer

and asked questions; and the uncle and the princess answered the

questions; and the uncle put a ring on the finger of the princess; and

the minister said that they were husband and wife. And then there were

kisses while everybody laughed and cried and shook hands; and some one

told the little girl that the princess was her new auntie; and her

uncle caught her up in his big arms and was his own jolly self again.

It was all very fine and strange and impressive to their childish

eyes; and so, of course, the very next day, the boy and the girl

played a wedding.

It was up in that quiet corner of the garden, near the hedge, and the

cherry tree was in bloom and showered its delicate blossoms down upon

them with every puff of air that stirred the branches; while, in the

hedge nearby, a little brown bird was putting the finishing touch to a

new nest. The boy's shepherd dog, who sat up when you told him, was

the minister; and all the dollies were there, dressed in their finest

gowns. The little girl was very serious and again, half frightened,

felt that queer lump in her throat as she promised to be his wife. And

the boy looked very serious, too, as he placed a little brass ring

upon her finger and, speaking for the brown eyed, shaggy coated,

minister, said: "I pronounce you husband and wife and anything that

God has done must never be done any different by anybody forever and

ever, Amen." And then--because there was no one else present and they

both felt that the play would not be complete without--then, he had

kissed her, and they were both very, very, happy.

So it was that, in the quiet secrecy of her dimly lighted room, the

woman who that night knew herself to be a woman, felt her cheeks hot

with blushes and upon her hot cheeks felt her tears.

So it was that she came back from her Yesterdays to wonder: where was

the boy now? What kind of a man had he grown to be? Was he making his

way to fame and wealth or laboring in some humble position? Had he a

home with wife and children? Did he ever go back into the Yesterdays?

Had he forgotten that wedding under the cherry tree? When the one with

whom she would go through the old, old, door into the life of her

womanhood dreams should come, would it matter if the hero of her

childhood dreams went in with them? He could be no rival to that one

who was to come for he lived only in the Yesterdays and the Yesterdays

could not come back. The fat little cupid on the mantle neglected his

bow and arrows in vain; he could not do away with time.

Very slowly the woman prepared for her rest and, when she was ready,

knelt in the soft dusk of her room, a virgin in white to pray. And

God, I know, understood why her prayer was confused and uncertain with

longings she could not express even to him who said: "Except ye become

as little children." God, I know, understood why this woman, who that

night, for the first time, knowing herself to be a woman had dreamed a

true woman's dream--God, I know, understood why, as she lay down to

sleep in the quiet darkness, she stretched forth her empty arms and

almost cried aloud.

In to-morrow's light it would all be gone, but that night--that

night--her womanhood dreams of the future were real--real even as the

girlhood dreams of her Yesterdays.