SOME SUGGESTIONS IN BLACK
FOR “NIGGER MINSTRELS”
IN the previous chapter hints have been given to enable a party of five
or more performers to give a Nigger Minstrel Entertainment. The object
of the following is to show how one or two people can contrive to amuse
their friends with a few negro performances.
The pieces are suitable either as items in a variety entertainment, or
as convenient “gags” to be introduced between longer entertainments when
the interest of the audience is to be sustained by some timely
diversion.
It might be remarked, by the way, that it is surprising how much the
effect of a joke depends upon the humor of the audience. If they are
feeling in a happy and pleasant frame of mind, the mere sight of a comic
man is sufficient to bring forth roars and shrieks of laughter. But if a
gloom or lack of interest has settled over the company, even the comic
genius of the late Dan Leno would most probably have failed to raise a
smile.
There are two things almost invariably associated with nigger songs--a
banjo and bones. Proficiency with both these is necessary before
attempting to give an entertainment.
Practice and a quick ear are indispensable for playing or even strumming
a banjo. A very little practice will enable you to strike chords with
ease, whilst a quick ear will show when they should be played.
To make a successful “hit” with the “bones” is a question, more or less,
of knack.
A set of four bones costs about $1.00. When buying take care they are
sound, _i.e._ with no crack or flaw, and that they contain no core of
pith, as this is liable to dull the sound, rendering it quite impossible
to obtain the sharp clean click so necessary for successful rendition.
Having obtained your bones--a pair for each hand--you must know how they
should be held. Notice they are slightly curved, as in Fig. 1. With a
pair in each hand place the ends between the first and second and second
and third fingers, the convex sides towards each other (Fig. 2). Hold
No. 1 (the bone between the first and second fingers) fairly firmly,
although not so stiffly as to rob it of a distinct spring. No. 2 (the
bone between the second and third fingers) must be rapped up against its
companion by the action of the third and fourth fingers.
[Illustration: FIG. 1.--Curved bone used in nigger minstrelsy.]
A sharp shake of the hand will make the bones clap together, while if
you keep the hand quivering and also work bone No. 2 vigorously a
continuous rattle is produced.
[Illustration: FIG. 2.--How to hold the bones.]
[Illustration: FIG. 3.--Correct position for playing the bones.]
A good plan, when once you are accustomed to having the bones between
the fingers, is to hold the hand with the knuckles upwards, the bones
pointing to the ground, as in Fig. 3. By this means the fingers are
allowed freer play. At the same time a better appearance is given to the
exhibition.
At first you will find your rattles jerky and spasmodic, but do not be
content until you have the bones so entirely under command that you can
make a long rattle as easily as a solitary tap, remembering that the
less exertion you betray the better will be the effect.
Your own ear will show you how to introduce them into the music. Do not
drown the air--the bones are only intended to give a point, to
accentuate certain parts and not to render them inaudible. A smart
rattle may be given at the commencement of the music and at the
conclusion of the song.
INTRODUCING JOKES
All jokes should be introduced by a certain amount of conversational
patter between the Interlocutor and “Bones.”
Mr. Johnson, the interlocutor, is always a very simple-minded person,
unable to see any joke until it has been fairly thrown at him, and
perfectly innocent in the presence of the most obnoxious puns. He has a
certain patronizing air with his companion which only serves to make his
innate simplicity more delightful. Mr. Johnson maintains an impassive
face in the most ludicrous and trying situations by his very
matter-of-fact behavior, extracting all kinds of smart things from the
funny man.
“Bones” is the very reverse of Mr. Johnson. He is up to all the latest
catches, full of quips and puns, is possessed of a never-failing store
of quaint experiences and remarkable stories, the most improbable of
which are gravely swallowed by Johnson. Yet the big red lips on his
broad black face must be immovable and never show the least symptom of a
smile as he recounts with stolid solemnity his marvelous doings to his
credulous friend.
The following dialogue is arranged for these two characters. Mr. Johnson
asks Bones all kinds of simple and apparently harmless questions; but
Mr. Bones replies with a constant succession of puns and jokes:--
_Johnson._ So you’ve been enjoying yourself, William, lately, I
understand. Dining out a good deal?
_Bones._ Oh yes, that’s right. I’d dine with anybody.
_Johnson._ Yes, but I’m told you dined with the Mayor last week. Is that
right?
_Bones._ Oh yes, that’s right.
_Johnson._ Then I suppose you had an excellent dinner--plenty to eat and
drink. What was the menu?
_Bones._ Well, to tell you the truth, there was a lot of ’em there, but
I don’t recollect him.
_Johnson._ Ah, you don’t understand me. I mean what was the bill of
fare?
_Bones._ Oh, well, it was a pretty fair bill. I believe it cost him
about $300.
_Johnson._ No, you don’t understand me. I mean what dishes did you have
to eat?
_Bones._ Well, we didn’t eat any dishes.
_Johnson._ No, no, of course not; but what did you have to eat and
drink?
_Bones._ Well, I believe the first thing we had to eat was something to
drink.
_Johnson._ And what did you have to drink, then?
_Bones._ Well, it was a new soup.
_Johnson._ A new soup! Well, I should like to know what that was. What
was it called?
_Bones._ Oh, I don’t remember exactly what it was, but you might mention
the names of a few to help me.
_Johnson._ Well, was it Mullagatawny?
_Bones._ No, it wasn’t Multigatony.
_Johnson._ Was it Mock Turtle?
_Bones._ No, it wasn’t him.
_Johnson._ Was it gravy?
_Bones._ No.
_Johnson._ Was it spring?
_Bones._ No, it wasn’t spring, it was summer.
_Johnson._ Well, I must give it up, William. What was it?
_Bones._ Oh, I know, it was what they call--er--er--shadow soup.
_Johnson._ Oh, then, it must be a new soup. I’ve never heard of shadow
soup.
_Bones._ Never heard of shadow soup?
_Johnson._ No, I haven’t. I should like to taste that. How is it made?
_Bones._ I’ll tell you. You go down to the market, buy a nice chicken,
take it home, stretch a line across the yard, hang the chicken in the
middle of the line, put a nice clean pail of water under the chicken,
and when the sun comes out it casts its beautiful rays on the chicken,
reflects the shadow in the pail of water, and that’s what they call
shadow soup.
_Johnson._ Oh, you go down to the market, buy a nice chicken, take it
home, stretch a line across the yard, hang the chicken in the middle of
the line, put a nice clean pail of water under the chicken, and when the
sun comes out it casts its beautiful rays on the chicken and reflects
the shadow in the water, and that’s what they call shadow soup.
_Bones._ Yes.
_Johnson._ But, my dear sir, you’ve forgotten one of the principal
things.
_Bones._ Oh, have I? What’s that?
_Johnson._ What’s that? Why, supposing you have no sun?
_Bones._ Well, then--you have no soup.
STUMP SPEECHES
A little extra effort in the matter of make-up might be attempted for
stump speeches, for the orator should be as “seedy” as possible in the
way of costume. A tattered coat and battered hat are usually considered
essential to the character, whilst an old dilapidated umbrella, of bulky
form and shapeless proportions, is useful for brandishing at the
emotional parts or thumping as the impressive points in the speech are
reached.
The stump orator should deliver his speech mounted upon a rickety chair
or table, for his exaggerated endeavors to maintain his balance will be
certain to cause fun amongst the audience.
Having taken his position with much danger, and with a familiar look at
the spectators, the speaker may embark upon the lecture. He should speak
distinctly and slowly, pausing every now and again to illustrate his
remarks with some quip or to steady himself upon the very rocky pulpit.
As an example he may take the following, which will serve for the
opening sentences of a stump speech on “Sound”:--
Ladies and Gentlemen, and others. I have much, I have much (puts hand in
pocket as if to feel how much money he has), I say I have much--much
feeling of proudness in assembling here in large numbers before
you--me--you here dis even. The subject of my investigation has been for
many long years, that is to say early years, short years, new years, old
years, pig’s and donkey’s ears, and the rest of the human race. I say
the subject of my intellectual and not at all less pig’s-head-a-frying
lecture on the various means of communicating our thoughts, words,
title-deeds, and other chattels, such as sauce-pans, frying-pans,
umbrellas, knobbed sticks, brick-bats and bricks without bats, I say the
subject of this important question, whether it be the pop-shopular
question or whether it be unwise to mention, or otherwise in dimension,
let it be understood that previous to preparing myself to begin--to
commence, I must ask a few questions about the temperaments, detriments
out-o-debtriments, cape-abilities, cloak-abilities, hats, caps, boots,
shoes, underlinen, socks, and other kind of earthenware. I say before I,
as I said before I said “I say before”--this subject can be
clothes-properly dissolved, we will, although I say it myself, ladies
and gentlemen, I say we shall, ladies, we shall all be dead men. (Takes
pinch of snuff, wipes nose with wet part of handkerchief, wiping off
some black. Resumes dialogue.)
MUSIC FOR MINSTRELSY
Taking it for granted that the would-be minstrels have reasonably good
voices, the only difficulty will be “selection.” Of course a great deal
of tact is required to know what class of music is best suited to the
audience.
Have as much variety as possible. Do not confine yourself exclusively to
comic songs or to sentimental ditties alone. At all costs keep your
audience cheerful and amused. Too much humor is apt to nauseate, but too
much melancholy will certainly spell failure. Try to gauge the temper of
your company, and if they seem to prefer the serious to the comic parts
on your programme, or _vice versâ_, make as quick and effective an
alteration as you can. They must be made to appreciate you--not simply
to tolerate you.
To have a piano accompaniment is a distinct acquisition if the voices be
of doubtful merit. For accomplished singers a banjo is quite sufficient,
but the amateur will certainly find that a friend at the piano is very
handy and reliable. This is, of course, entirely a matter of individual
taste and circumstances.
A very good selection of nigger dialogues, speeches, &c., can be
obtained from any theatrical publisher. The entertainer will be
furnished with useful ideas for a programme, including some of the most
successful minstrels’ songs and drolleries.
As the Stump Orator would say, “We must now draw a delusion to our not
over long lecture,” feeling confident that the amateur nigger will find
his entertainment as great a source of pleasure to himself as of
amusement to the audience.