acknowledging the payment o' every farthing o' the money.'
"'Let me look at it,' says he.
"So, as honesty never needs to be feared for what it does, I handed him the
bit paper. But after looking at it for a moment, he held it up between his
finger and thumb, and wi' a kind o' sarcastic laugh, inquired--'Where is
the stamp?'
"The sweat broke ower me from head to foot. 'Sir, my wife, Nancy! Is that
document, in the handwriting o' the man himsel', not proof positive that I
have paid the money?'
"The writer shook his head; and a gentleman that was standing near me, and
who was very probably in a similar predicament to myself, said--'Unstamped
receipts, sir, may do very well, where ye find a world o' purely honest
men--but they winna do where ye arena sure but ye may be dealing wi' a
rogue.'
"'Gentlemen!' cried I, 'have ye really the cruelty and injustice to say
that I am to pay that money owre again?'
"'Owre again or not owre again,' said the writer, 'ye must pay it,
otherwise summary proceedings will be entered against ye. If ye have
already paid it in the way ye say, it is only making good the proverb, that
the 'simple man is the beggar's brother.'"
"'Oh, confound ye!' cried I, 'for a parcel o' unprincipled knaves--that is
exactly what my wife says; and had I followed her advice, I would ne'er hae
seen ane o' yer faces.'
"However, the ninety pounds I had to pay again, doun upon the nail; and
that was another o' the beautiful effects o' my simplicity. I didna ken
how, in the universal globe, I was to muster courage to look my wife in the
face again. Yet all that she said was--'O Nicholas! Nicholas!--would ye
only be less simple!'
"'Heigho!' said I, 'dinna talk about it, Nancy--I'm owre grieved as it
is--I can stand no more!'
"The loss o' the three hundred pounds, wi' the bill business, and the
ninety just mentioned, made me to stagger, and those that knew about the
circumstances wondered how I stood them. But I had just begun a new
concern, which was the manufacture o' table-cloths upon a new principle,
and with exceedingly splendid patterns. I got an extraordinary sale for
them, and orders came pouring in upon me. But I had to employ more men to
fulfil them, and their wages were to pay every Saturday, while the
remittances did not come in by half so regular as the orders, and I found
it was not easy to pay men without receiving money for their work. Had I
been a man o' a great capital, the case might have been different. There
was one day, however, that a gentleman that had dealt wi' me very
extensively called upon me, and he gied me a very excellent order. But,
although he had seen a great deal o' my goods, I never had seen the shadow
o' his cash. I canna say that I exactly liked his manner o' doing business;
yet I couldna, for the breath that was in my body, have the face to say an
impertinent thing to ony one, and I was just telling him that his order
should be attended to, when my wife, who was sitting in a room off the
parlour, gave a tap upon the door, and, asking the gentleman to excuse me
for a minute, I stepped ben, and I half whispered to her--'What is it,
dear?'
"'Has that man spoken about paying ye?' said she.
"'No,' said I.
"'But I think it is time he was,' quoth she, 'before ye trust him ony
farther. Remember that ye have men's wages to pay, and accounts to pay, and
a wife and family to support, and those things canna be done upon nothing.'
"'Very true, dearie,' said I; 'but ye wouldna have me to speak abruptly to
the gentleman, or to affront him?'
"'It will affront no gentleman,' replied she--'at least, no honest man--to
ask him for what is your own. Therefore, ask him for your money. Remember,
Nicholas, that the simple man is the beggar's brother.'
"'O dear, woman!' says I, 'ye ken I dinna like to hear thae words. I'll ask
the gentleman to pay me--to be sure I will; and what is the use o' your
keeping tease, teasing at a body, just as if I were a simpleton.'
"So I slipped back to the customer, and, after a few words about his order,
I said to him--'Sir, ye understand I have men's wages to pay, and accounts
to pay, and a wife and family to support, and it's no little that does it;
therefore, if ye could just oblige me wi' the settlement o' your account,
it would be a favour.'
"'My dear Mr Middlemiss,' said he, 'I am extremely sorry that you did not
inform me that you were in want of cash sooner, as I have just, before I
saw you, parted with all I can spare. But, if you be very much in want of
it, I can give you a note, that is, a bill for the money, at three or six
months. You can get it cashed, you know, and it is only minus the discount,
and that is not much upon your profits, eh?'
"'Begging your pardon, sir,' says I, 'but I take I would have my name to
write on the back o't.'
"'Certainly, sir,' said he, 'you know that follows as a matter of course.'
"'Yes, sir,' continued I, 'and I have found that it sometimes follows also
as a matter o' _coercion!_ I never had to do wi' what ye call a bill in my
life but once, which was merely writing my name upon the back o't, and that
cost me three hundred pounds--exactly sixteen pounds, two shillings and
threepence, and a fraction, for every letter in the name of Nicholas
Middlemiss, as my wife has often told me. Therefore, sir, I would never
wish to see the _face_ o' a bill again; or, I should say, the _back_ o'
one.'
"'But, my good sir,' said the gentleman, 'I have told you that it is not
convenient for me to give you the cash just now; and, if you won't take my
bill, why, what do you wish me to do? Do you intend to affront me? Do you
suppose I have nothing to attend to but your account?'
"'Oh, by no means, sir,' said I; 'and it would be the last thing in my
thoughts either to offend you or ony man. If ye have not the money at
command, I suppose I must take the bill; for I know that cash down is a
sort o' curiosity, as I sometimes say, and is very difficult to be met
wi'.'
"While we were conversing thegither, I heard my wife gie a tap, tap, tap,
twice or thrice upon the parlour door, and I was convinced that she
owreheard us; but I didna take the least notice o' it, for I felt conscious
that it would only be to ring the auld sang in my ears, about the simple
man. So I took the gentleman's bill at six months; and immediately after he
left me, Nancy came into the parlour.
"'Weel,' said she, 'ye've gotten your money.' But she said it wi' a
scornful air, such as I had never seen her use before, and which caused me
to feel excessively uncomfortable.
"'Yes, I've got my money,' says I, 'but, dear me, Nancy, what business is
it o' yours whether I have got my money or no?'
"'If it isna my business, Nicholas,' said she, 'I would like to ken whase
business it is? I am the wife o' your bosom--the mother o' your family--am
I not? Guidman, ye may take ill what I say to ye, but it is meant for your
good. Now, ye hae ta'en the bill o' the man that has just left ye, for four
hundred and odd pounds! What do ye ken aboot him? Naething!--naething in
the blessed world! Ye are a simple man, Nicholas!'
"'Dinna say that,' said I; 'I am not simple. I told him to his face that I
didna like his bills. But ye are like a' women--ye would do wonders if ye
were men! But his bill prevents a' disputes about his account--do ye not
see that--and I can cash it if I wish.'
"'Very true,' said she, 'ye can cash it, Nicholas, but upon your own
credit, and at your own risk.'
"'Risk!' said I, 'the woman's a fool to talk in such a manner about an
every-day transaction.'
"'Weel,' answered she, 'not to say that there is the slightest risk in the
matter, have ye considered, that, if ye do cash this bill, there will be a
heavy discount to pay, and if ye pay it, what is to become o' your profits?
Did ye tell him, that if ye took his bill ye would carry the discount to
his next account?'
"'O Nancy! Nancy!' cried I, 'ye would skin the wind! Just take yoursel'
away, if ye please; for really ye're tormenting me--making a perfect gowk
o' me, for neither end nor purpose.'
"'Oh, if that be the way,' said she, 'I can leave ye--but I have seen the
day when ye thought otherwise o' my company. Yet, the more I see o' your
transactions, Nicholas, the more I am convinced in the truth o' the saying,
that the simple man is the beggar's brother.'
"'Sorrow take ye, wife!' cried I, 'will ye really come owre thae words
again. Are ye not aware that I detest and abhor them? Have I not said that
to ye again and again?--and yet ye will repeat them in my hearing? Do ye
wish to drive me mad?'
"'I would wish to see ye act,' answered she, 'so that I would ne'er need to
use them again.' And, on saying that, she went out o' the room, which to me
was a great deliverance.
"I got the bill cashed, and, to tell ye the plain truth, I also had it to
pay. This was a dreadfu' loss to me; and I found there was naething left
for me but so _sit down_,(if ye understand what that means,) as mony a guid
man has been compelled to do. Hooever, I paid every body seventeen
shillings and sixpence half-penny in the pound. Some of my creditors said
it was owre meikle--that I had been simple and wronged mysel'.
"'I would wish to the utmost o' my power to be honest,' said I; 'and if I
hae wronged mysel', I hae saved my conscience. If there be naething else
left for me noo, as Burns says--
'Heaven be thankit! I can beg.'
"My business, hooever, had been entirely at a stand for the space o' sax
weeks. I had neither journeyman nor apprentice left. My looms, and the hale
apparatus connected wi' the concern, had been sold off, and I had naething
in the world but a few articles o' furniture, which a freend bought back
for me at the sale. I got the loan o' a loom, and in order to support my
wife and family, I had to sit down to drive the shuttle again. I had
wrought nane to speak o' for ten years before, and my hands were quite oot
o' use. I made but a puir job o' it. The first week I didna mak aboon
half-a-crown; and that was but a sma' sum for the support o' a wife and
half-a-dozen hungry bairns. Hooever, I was still as simple as ever; and
there wasna a wife in the countryside that was a bad payer, but brought her
web to Nicholas Middlemiss. I wrought late and early; but though I did my
utmost, I couldna keep my bairns' teeth gaun. Many a time it has wrung my
heart, when I hae heard them crying to their mother, clinging round her,
and pulling at her apron, saying--'Mother, gie's a piece!--Oh just a wee
bite, mother!'
"'O my darlings,' she used to say to them, 'dinna ask me for bread the noo.
I haena a morsel in the house, and hae na siller to buy meal. But yer
faither is aboot finished wi' the web, and ye shall hae plenty the nicht.'
"Then the bits o' dear creatures would hae come runnin' ben to me, and
asked--'Faither, when will the web be ready?'
"'Soon, soon, hinnies!' said I, half choked wi' grief and blind wi' tears;
'haud awa' oot and play yoursels!'
"For I couldna stand to see them yearning afore me, and to behold want,
like a gnawing worm, eating the flesh from their lovely cheeks. Then, when
I had went out wi' the web, Nancy would say to me--'Noo, Nicholas, remember
the situation we're in. There's neither food o' ae description nor anither
in the house, and ye see the last o' oor coals upon the fire. Therefore,
afore ye leave the web, see that ye get the money for the working o't.'
"Yet, scores o' times, even after such admonitions, hae I come hame without
a penny in my pocket. Ane put me aff with ae excuse, and anither wi'
anither. Some were to ca' and pay me on the Saturday, and others when they
killed their pig. But those Saturdays seldom came; and, in my belief, the
pigs are living yet. It used to put me in terror to meet my poor starving
family. The consequence generally was, that Nancy had to go to where I had
come frae and request payment hersel'; and, at last, she wadna trust me wi'
the taking hame o' the webs.
"We suffered more than I'm willing to tell aboot, at the period I mention,
and a' arose oot o' my simpleness. But I was confined to my bed for ten
weeks, wi' a dreadfu' attack o' rheumatism--it was what was ca'ed a
rheumatic fever--it reduced me to a perfect anatomy. I was as feckless as a
half-burned thread. Through fatigue, anxiety, and want o' support
thegither, Nancy also took very ill; and there did we lie to a' appearance
hastening to the grave. What we suffered, and what our family suffered upon
this occasion, no person in a Christian country could believe. But for the
kindness o' the minister, and some o' oor neebors, we must a' hae perished.
As a matter of course we fell sadly back; and when the house rent became
due, we had not wherewith to pay it. The landlord distrained us for it. A
second time the few things I had left were put under the hammer o' the
auctioneer. 'Oh!' said I, 'surely misery and I were born thegither!' For we
had twa dochters, the auldest only gaun six, baith lying ill o' the scarlet
fever in the same bed, and I had to suffer the agony o' beholding the bed
sold out from under them. It was more than human nature could endure. The
poor, dear lammies cried--'Faither! mither! dinna let them touch us!' I
took the auldest up in my arms, and begged that I micht be allowed a
blanket to row her in. Nancy took up the youngest one, and while the sale
went on, with our dying bairns in our arms, we sat down in the street
before the door, as twa beggars--but we were not begging.
"Our case excited universal commiseration. A number o' respectable people
began to take an interest in our weelfare; and business came so thick upon
me that I had to get twa other looms, and found constant employment, not
only for my auldest laddie, whom I was bringing up to the business, but
also for a journeyman.
"Just as I was beginning to prosper, hooever, and to get my head aboon the
water, there was ane o' my auld creditors to whom I had paid the
composition of seventeen and sixpence halfpenny in the pound, wha was a
hard-hearted, avaricious sort o' man, and to whom I had promised, and not
only promised, but given a written pledge, to pay him the remaining two and
fivepence halfpenny in the pound, together with interest, in the course of
six years. The time was just expiring, when he came to me, and presenting
the bit paper, which was in my own handwriting, demanded payment.
"'Really, sir,' said I, 'I acknowledge that I must pay ye, though everybody
said at the time that I was a very simple man for entering into ony such
agreement wi' ye; but it is not in my power to pay ye just now. In the
course o' a twalmonth I hope to be able to do it.'
"'Mr Middlemiss,' said he, as slowly as if he were spelling my name, 'my
money I want, and my money I will have; and have it immediately, too.'
"'Sir,' said I, 'the thing is impossible; I canna gie ye what I haena got.'
"'I dinna care for that,' said he; 'if I dinna get it, I shall _get you_.'
"He had the cruelty to throw me into jail, just as I was beginning to
gather my feet. It knocked all my prospects in the head again. I began to
say it was o' nae use for me to strive, for the stream o' fate was against
me.'
"'Dinna say so, Nicholas,' said Nancy, who came on foot twice every week,
a' the way from Langholm, to see me--'dinna say sae. Yer ain simplicity is
against ye--naething else.'
"Weel, the debt was paid, and I got my liberty. But, come weel, come woe, I
was still simple Nicol Middlemiss. Ne'er hae I been able to get the better
o' my easy disposition. It has made me acquainted wi' misery--it has kept
me constantly in the company o' poverty; and, when I'm dead, if onybody
erect a gravestane for me, they may inscribe owre it--
"THE SIMPLE MAN IS THE BEGGAR'S BROTHER."
TALES OF THE EAST NEUK OF FIFE.
THE ROBBERY AT PITTENWEEM AND THE PORTEOUS MOB.
On the 2nd of March 1736, Andrew Wilson in Pathhead, William Hall in
Edinburgh, and George Robertson, stabler at Bristo Port there, were
indicted and accused, at the instance of Duncan Forbes of Culloden, then
Lord Advocate, before the high court of justiciary at Edinburgh, of the
crimes of stouthrief housebreaking and robbery, in so far as James Stark,
collector of excise in Kirkcaldy, being upon his circuit in collecting that
revenue, and having along with him a considerable sum of money collected by
him by virtue of his office, upon Friday the 9th day of January then last,
was at the house of Margaret Ramsay, relict of Andrew Fowler, excise-office
keeper at Pittenweem; and Andrew Wilson having formed a design to rob
Collector Stark of the money and other effects he had along with him, and
having taken William Hall and George Robertson as associates, they came
together from Edinburgh that morning, and towards evening put up their
horses in Anstruther-Easter, in the inn kept by James Wilson, brewer
there;[C] and after having had some deliberations upon their intended
robbery, leaving their horses there, they went privately on foot to
Pittenweem, and about eleven o'clock that night called at the house of
Widow Fowler, and under the pretence of drinking, remained there until
they were informed, or might reasonably presume Collector Stark was gone to
bed; and about twelve that night, or one next morning, Andrew Wilson and
William Hall, or one or other of them, did impudently and in defiance of
law forcibly and with violence break the door of the room where Collector
Stark was lying in bed, and having knocked out the under pannel, Collector
Stark suspecting an attack upon his life, for his safety jumped out at a
window in his shirt; whereupon Andrew Wilson and William Hall, or one or
other of them, entered the room, and did feloniously carry off bank-notes
in a pocket-book belonging to Collector Stark, and gold and money in his
possession to the value of L.200, less or more, and did rob and take away a
pair of pistols, a seal, a penknife, a cloak bag, a pair of silver
buckles, a bible, several suits of linens and other goods belonging to
Collector Stark and in his possession; and when they went out of that room,
did divide, disperse of, and distribute the gold, money, and other goods so
robbed and taken away at their pleasure. And while the said Andrew Wilson
and William Hall were committing the foresaid crimes, the said George
Robertson was standing, sometimes at the door and sometimes at the foot of
the stair of said house, as a sentinel and guard, with a drawn cutlass in
his hand, to prevent any person from interfering and stopping the said
violence and robbery, and did threaten to kill or otherwise intimidate the
servants of the house when going towards the door of the collector's room;
and when several of the inhabitants, alarmed by the noise, gathered
together upon the street, and coming towards the door, inquired what was
going on there; he, George Robertson, did treacherously endeavour to
persuade them not to attempt to enter the house, falsely affirming that he
had tried to go up stairs, but being in danger of being shot, he was by
fear obliged to leave the house. And in order to keep them still amused
with his false suggestion of danger by entering the house, having gone
along with them into the house of John Hyslop in Pittenweem, he detained
them there for some time, until he judged that his associates might have
made their escape with their spoil; and soon afterwards William Hall was
seized in the street of Anstruther-Easter, between twelve and one next
morning, being Saturday the 10th January, having several of the goods and a
purse of gold so robbed in his possession, which he dropped and endeavoured
to conceal. And they, Andrew Wilson, and George Robertson, having met some
short time afterwards in the house of said James Wilson in
Anstruther-Easter, where they were informed that the house was beset,
conscious of their own guilt, they, one or other of them, did deliver to
said James Wilson the seal, the penknife, the pair of buckles, some money,
and other things robbed, telling that if they were found in their
possession they would be hanged or undone, or words to that purpose,
expressing an apprehension of the utmost danger; and immediately thereafter
got into bed, as if they had lain all night asleep, where both were
apprehended, and upon the top of which bed were found the bank notes robbed
from Collector Stark, and his pocket-book above another bed in another room
of the house, &c. Wherefore, on these crimes being confessed or proven, the
parties ought to be most severely and exemplarily punished with the pains
of law, in terror of others committing the like in time coming.
The indictment to the foregoing effect was read--the case debated, and the
Lords ordered both parties to give in informations.
On the 19th March 1736, the Lords found the libel relevant--but allowed
George Robertson a proof, with respect to his behaviour at the time stated,
for taking off the circumstances tending to infer his being accessory, or
art and part of the crimes libelled.
A jury was empannelled, and the trial proceeded. To give even notes of the
depositions on both sides would exceed our limits. We shall therefore
merely select the evidence of two or three witnesses, whose statements will
serve to form a continuation of our narrative, and pass over the remainder
as unnecessary for our purpose.
The first we shall adduce is the collector, the individual robbed.