about, but my own. With the four hundred pounds which my faither left me, I
began business as a linen manufacturer--that is, as a maister weaver, on
what might be called a respectable scale. The year after I had commenced
business upon my own account, and before I was two and twenty, I was taking
a walk one Sunday afternoon on the Hawick road, along by Sorbie, and there
I met the bonniest lassie, I think, that I had ever seen. I was so struck
wi' her appearance, that I actually turned round and followed her. She was
dressed in a duffel coat or pelisse, which I think country folk call a
_Joseph_; but I followed her at a distance, through fields and owre stiles,
till I saw her enter a sma' farm-house. There were some bits o' bairns,
apparently hinds' bairns, sitting round a sort o' duck-dub near the
stackyard.
"'Wha lives there, dearies?' says I to them, pointing wi' my finger to the
farm-house.
"'Ned Thomson,' says they.
"'And wha was that bonny lassie,' asked I, 'that gaed in just the now?'
"'He! he! he!' the bairns laughed, and gaed me nae answer. So I put my
question to them again, and ane o' the auldest o' them, a lassie about
thirteen, said--'It was the maister's daughter, sir, the laird's bonny
Jenny--if ye like, I'll gang in and tell her that a gentleman wishes to
speak to her.'
"I certainly was very proud o' the bairn taking me to be a gentleman; but I
couldna think o' meeting Miss Thompson, even if she should come out to see
me, wi' such an introduction, for I was sure I would make a fool o' mysel';
and I said to the bit lassie--'No I thank ye, hinny; I'm obliged to ye'"
and a' her little companions 'he! he! he'd!' and laughed the louder at my
expense; which, had I not been a simple man, I never would have placed it
in their power to do.
"So I went away, thinking on her face as if I had been looking at it in a
glass a' the time; and to make a long story short, within three months,
Miss Jenny Thompson and me became particularly weel acquaint. But my
mother, who had none o' the simpleness that came by my faither's side o'
the house, was then living; and when Jenny and I were on the eve o' being
publicly cried in the kirk, she clapped her affidavit against it.
"'Nicol,' said she, 'son as ye are o' mine, ye're a poor simple goniel.
There isna a bairn that I have among ye to mend another. Ye are your
faither owre again, every one o' ye--each one more simple than another.
Will ye marry a taupie that has nae recommendation but a doll's face, and
bring shame and sorrow to your door?'
"I flew into a rampaging passion wi' my mother, for levelling Jenny to
either shame or sorrow: but she maintained that married we should not be,
if she could prevent it; and she certainly said and did everything that lay
in her power to render me jealous. She might as weel have lectured to a
whinstane rock. I believed Jenny to be as pure as the dew that falleth upon
a lily before sunrise in May. But on the very night before we were to be
married, and when I went to fit on the gloves and the ring--to my horror
and inexpressible surprise, who should I see in the farm-yard, (for it was
a fine star-light night,) but my Jenny--my thrice cried bride--wi' her hand
upon the shouther o' the auldest son o' her faither's laird, and his arm
round her waist. My first impulse was to run into the stackyard where they
were, and to knock him down; but he was a strong lad, and, thinks I,
'second thoughts are best.' I was resolved, however, that my mother should
find I wasna such a simpleton as she gied me out to be--so I turned round
upon my heel and went home saying to mysel, as the song says--
'If this be the way of courting a wife,
I'll never look after another;
But I'll away hame and live single my lane,
And I'll away hame to my mother.'
When I went hame, and informed her o' what I had seen, and o' what I had
dune, the auld woman clapped me upon the shouther, and says she--'Nicholas,
my man, I am glad that yer ain een have been made a witness in the matter
of which your mother forewarned ye. Ye was about to bring disgrace upon
your family; but I trust ye have seen enough to be a warning to ye. O
Nicholas! they that marry a wife merely for the sake o' a bonny face, or
for being a smart dancer, or onything o' that kind, never repent it but
once, and that is for ever. Marriage lad, lifts the veil from the face o'
beauty, and causes it to be looked upon as an every-day thing; and even if
ye were short-sighted before, marriage will make ye see through spectacles
that will suit your sight, whither ye will or no. Dinna think that I am
against ye taking a wife; for I ken it is the best thing that a young man
can do. Had your faither not married me when he did, he would hae died a
beggar, instead o' leaving ye what he did. And especially a simple creature
like you, Nicholas, needs one to take care o' him. But you must not expect
to meet wi' such a one in every bonny face, handsome waist, or smart ancle
that ye meet wi'. Na, na, lad; ye maun look to the heart, and the
disposition or temper, and the affection for you. They are the grand points
that ye are to study; and not the beauty o' the face, the shape o' the
waist, (which a mantua-maker has a principal hand in making,) the colour o'
the een, or the texture o' the hair. Thae are things that are forgotten
before ye hae been married a twalmonth; but the feelings o' the heart, and
the sentiments o' the soul, aye rin pure, Nicholas, and grow stronger and
stronger, just like a bit burn oozing frae a hill, and wimpling down its
side, waxing larger and larger, and gathering strength on strength as it
runs, until it meets the sea, like a great river; and even so it is wi' the
affections o' the heart between man and wife, where they really love and
understand each other; for they begin wi' the bit spring o' courtship,
following the same course, gathering strength, and flowing side by side,
until they fall into the ocean o' eternity, as a united river that cannot
be divided! Na, son, if ye will take a wife, I hope ye hae seen enough to
convince ye that she ought never to be the bonny Miss Thompson. But if I
might advise ye in the matter, there is our own servant, Nancy Bowmaker, a
young lass, a weel-faured lass, and as weel behaved as she is good-looking.
She has lived wi' us, now, for four years, and from term to term I never
have had to quarrel her. I never saw her encouraging lads about the
house--I never missed the value o' a prin since she came to it--I never
even saw her light a candle at the fire, or keep the cruisy burning when
she had naething to do but to spin, or to knit. Now, Nicholas, if ye will
be looking after a wife, I say that ye canna do better than just draw up
wi' Nancy Bowmaker.'
"So my mother ended her long-winded harangue; which I had hardly patience
to listen to. In the course o' the week, the faither and brothers o' Miss
Jenny Thompson called upon me, to see why I had not fulfilled my
engagement, by taking her before the minister, and declaring her to be my
wife. I stood before them like a man touched wi' a flash o' lightning--pale
as death and trembling like a leaf. But, when they began to talk big owre
me, and to threaten me wi' bringing the terrors o' the law upon my
head--(and be it remembered I have an exceeding horror o' the law, and
would rather lose a pound ony day, than spend six and eightpence, which is
the least ye can spend on it)--as good luck would have it, while they were
stamping their feet, and shaking their nieves in my face, my mother came
forward to where we were standing, and says she to me--'Nicholas, what is
a' this about? What does Mr Thompson and his sons want?'
"The very sound o' her voice inspired me; I regained my strength and my
courage, as the eagle renews its age. And, simple man as I was--'Sir,' said
I, 'what is it that ye mean? Gae ask your daughter wha it was that had his
arm round her waist on Thursday night last, and her hand upon his shouther!
Go to _him_ to marry her!--but dinna hae the audacity to look me in the
face.'
"'Weel said, Nicol,' whispered my mother, coming behint me, and clapping me
on the back; 'aye act in that manner, my man.'
"And both her faithers and her brothers stood looking one to another for an
answer, and slunk away without saying another word either about the law or
our marriage. I found I had gotten the whip hand o' them most completely.
So, there never was another word between me and bonny Jenny Thompson, who,
within a month, ran away wi' the son o' her faither's laird--and, poor
hizzy, I am sorry to say, her end wasna a good one.
"My mother, however, always kept teasing me about Nancy Bowmaker, and
saying what a notable wife she would make. Now, some folk are foolish
enough to say that they couldna like onybody that was in a manner forced
upon them. And, nae doubt, if either a faither or a mother, or onybody else
that has power owre ye, says--'_Like_ such a one,' it is not in your power
to comply, and actually love the person in obedience to a command. Yet this
I will say, that my mother's sermons to me about Nancy Bowmaker, and my
being always _evened_ to her upon that account, caused me to think more
about her than I did concerning ony other woman under the sun. And ye canna
think lang about ony lass in particular, without beginning to have a sort
o' regard for her, as it were. In short, I began to find that I liked Nancy
just as weel as I had done Jenny; we, therefore, were married, and a most
excellent and affectionate wife she has been to me, even to this day.
"It was now that I began the world in good earnest. But though my wife was
an active woman, I was still the same simple, easy-imposed-upon sort o'
being that I had always been. Every rogue in the country-side very soon
became acquainted wi' my disposition. I had no reason to complain of my
business; for orders poured in upon me faster than I was able to supply
them. Only, somehow or other--and I thought it very strange--money didna
come in so fast as the orders. My wife said to me--'This trade will never
do, Nicholas--ye will gang on trust, trusting, until ye trust yoursel' to
the door. Therefore, do as I advise ye, and look after the siller.'
"'O my dear,' said I, 'they are good customers, and I canna offend them for
the sake o' a few pounds. I have no doubt but they are safe enough.
"'Safe or no safe,' quoth she, 'get ye your accounts settled. Their siller
will do as meikle for ye as their custom. Take a woman's advice for once,
and remember, that, 'short accounts make long friends.' Look ye after your
money.'
"I couldna but confess that there was a great deal o' truth in what Mrs
Middlemiss (that is my wife) said to me. But I had not her turn for doing
things. I could not be so sharp wi' folk, had it been to save my life. I
never could affront onybody in my days. Yet I often wished that I could
take her advice; for I saw people getting deeper and deeper into my books,
without the prospect o' payment being made more manifest. Under such
circumstances I began to think wi' her, that their siller would be as good
as their custom--the one was not much worth without the other.
"But, just to give ye a few instances o' my simplicity:--I was walking, on
a summer evening, as my custom was, about a mile out o' the town, when I
overtook a Mr Swanston, a very respectable sort o' man, a neighbour, and an
auld acquaintance, who appeared to be in very great tribulation. I think,
indeed, that I never saw a fellow-creature in such visible distress. His
countenance was perfectly wofu', and he was wringing his hands like a body
dementit.
"'Preserve us, Mr Swanston!' says I, 'what's the matter wi' ye?--has
onything happened?'
"'Oh! happened!' said he; 'I'm a ruined man!--I wish that I had never been
born!--that I had never drawn breath in this world o' villany! I believe
I'll do some ill to mysel'.'
"'Dear me, Mr Swanston!' quoth I, 'I'm sorry to hear ye talk so. It is very
unchristian-like to hear a body talking o' doing harm to theirsels. There
is a poet, (Dr Young, if I mistake not,) that says--
'Self-murder! name it not, our island's shame!'
Now, I dinna like to hear ye talking in such a way; and though I have no
wish to be inquisitive, I would just beg to ask what it is upon your mind
that is making ye unhappy?'
"'Oh, Mr Middlemiss,' said he, 'it is o' no use telling ye o't, for I
believe that sympathy has left this world, as weel as honesty.'
"'Ye're no very sure o' that, neighbour,' says I; 'and I dinna think that
ye do mysel' and other people justice.'
"'Maybe not, sir,' said he; 'but is it not a hard case, that, after I have
carried on business for more than twenty years, honestly and in credit wi'
all the world, that I should have to stop my business to-morrow, for the
want o' three hundred pounds?'
"'It certainly is,' said I, 'a very hard case; but, dear me, Mr Swanston, I
always thought that ye would be worth twenty shillings in the pound.'
"'So I am,' said he; 'I am worth twice twenty, if my things should be put
up at their real value; but at present I canna command the ready money--and
there is where the rock lies that I am to be wrecked upon.'
"'Assuredly,' returned I, 'three hundred pounds are no bauble. It requires
a person to turn owre a number o' shillings to make them up. But I would
think that, you having been so long in business, and always having borne an
irreproachable character, it would be quite a possible thing for you to
raise the money amongst your friends.'
"'Sir,' said he, 'I wouldna require them to raise the money, nor ever to
advance or pay a farthing upon my account; all that I require is, that some
sponsible person, such as yourself, would put their name to a bill for six
months. There would be nothing but the signing o' the name required o'
them; and if you, sir, would so far oblige me, ye will save a neighbour
from ruin.'
"I thought there was something very reasonable in what he said, and that it
would be a grand thing if by the mere signing o' my name, I could save a
fellow-creature and auld acquaintance from ruin, or from raising his hand
against his own life. Indeed, I always felt a particular pleasure in doing
a good turn to onybody. I therefore said to him--
'Weel, Mr Swanston, I have no objections to sign my name, if, as you say,
that be all that is in it, and if my doing so will be of service to you.'
"He grasped hold o' my hand wi' both o' his, and he squeezed it until I
thought he would have caused the blood to start from my finger ends.
"'Mr Middlemiss,' said he, 'I shall never be able to repay you for this act
o' kindness. I will feel it in my heart the longest day I have to live.'
"I was struck with his agitation; in fact, I was very much put about. For
even a tear upon the face o' a woman distresses me beyond the power o'
words to describe; but to see the salt water on the cheeks of a man
indicates that there is something dreadfully ill at ease about the heart.
And really the tears ran down his face as if he had been a truant
school-laddie that had been chastised by his master.
"'There is no occasion for thanks, Mr Swanston,' said I--'none in the
world; for the man would be worse than a heathen, that wouldna be ready to
do ten times more.'
"Weel, he grasped my hand the harder, and he shook it more fervently,
saying--'O, sir! sir!--a friend in need is a friend indeed; and such ye
have proved to be--and I shall remember it.'
"That very night we went to a public-house, and we had two half-mutchkins
together; in the course of drinking which, he got out a stamped paper, and
after writing something on it, which I was hardly in a condition to read,
(for my head can stand very little,) he handed it to me, and pointed with
his finger where I was to put my name upon the back o't. So I took the pen
and wrote my name--after which, we had a parting gill, and were both very
comfortable.
"When I went home, Nancy perceiving me to be rather sprung, and my een no
as they ought to be, said to me--'Where have you been, Nicholas, until this
time o' nicht?'
"'Touts!' said, I, 'what need ye mind? It is a hard maiter that a body
canna stir out owre the door but ye maun ask--'where hae ye been?' I'm my
own maister, I suppose--at least after business hours.'
"'No doubt o' that, Nicholas,' said she; 'but while ye are your own
maister, ye are also my husband, and the faither o' my family, and it
behoves me to look after ye.'
"'Look after yoursel'!' said I, quite pettedly--'for I am always very high
and independent when I take a glass extra--ye wouldna tak me to be a simple
man then.'
"'There is no use in throwing yoursel' into a rage, added she; 'for ye ken
as weel as me, Nicholas, that ye never take a glass more than ye ought to
do, but ye invariably make a fool o' yoursel' by what ye say or do, and
somebody or ither imposes on ye. And ye are so vexed with yoursel' the next
day, that there is nae living in the house wi' ye. Ye wreak a' the shame
and ill-nature that ye feel on account o' your conduct upon us.'
"'Nancy!' cried I, striking my hand upon the table, as though I had been an
emperor, 'what in the name o' wonder do ye mean? Who imposes upon me?--who
dare?--tell me that!--I say tell me that?' And I struck my hand upon the
table again.
"'Owre mony impose upon ye, my man,' quoth she; 'and I hope naebody has
been doing it the night, for I never saw ye come hame in this key, but that
somebody had got ye to do something that ye was to repent afterwards.'
"'Confound ye, Nancy!' cried I, very importantly whipping up the tails o'
my coat in a passion, and turning my back to the fire, while I gied a sort
o' stagger, and my head knocked against the chimley piece--'confound ye,
Nancy, I say, what do ye mean? Simple man as ye ca' me, and as ye tak me to
be, do ye think that I am to come home to get naething but a dish o'
tongues from you! Bring me my supper.'
"'Oh, certainly, ye shall have your supper,' said she, 'if ye can eat
it--only I think that your bed is the fittest place for ye. O man,' added
she in a lower tone, half speaking to hersel, 'but ye'll be sorry for this
the morn.'
"'What the mischief are ye muttering at?' cried I--'get me my supper.'
"'Oh, ye shall have that,' said she very calmly, for she was, and is, a
quiet woman, and one that would put up with a great deal, rather than allow
her voice to be heard by her neighbours.
"My head was in a queer state the next day; for ye see I had as good as
five glasses, and I never could properly stand above two. I was quite
ashamed to look my wife in the face, and I was so certain that I had been
guilty o' some absurdity or other, that my cheeks burned just under the
dread o' its being mentioned to me. Neither could I drive the idea of
having put my name upon the back of the bill from my mind. I was conscious
that I had done wrong. Yet, thought I, Mr Swanston is a very decent man; he
is a very respectable man; he has always borne an excellent character; and
is considered a good man, both amongst men o' business and in
society--therefore, I have nothing to apprehend. I, according to his own
confession, did him a good turn, and I could in no way implicate myself in
his transactions by merely putting my name upon the back o' a bit o' paper,
to oblige him. So I thought within myself, and I became perfectly satisfied
that I had done a good action, without in the slightest degree injuring my
family.
"But just exactly six months and three days afterwards, a clerk belonging
to a branch o' the Commercial Bank called upon me, and, after making his
bow, said he--'Mr Middlemiss, I have a bill to present to you.'
"'A bill!' said I, 'what sort o' a bill, sir? Is it an auctioneer's, for a
roup o' furniture or a sale o' stock?'
"He laughed quite good-natured like in my face, and pulling out the bit
stamped paper that I had been madman enough to sign my name upon the back
o'--'It is that, sir,' said he.
"'That!' cried I; 'what in the earthly globe have I to do wi' that? It is
Mr Swanston's business--not mine. I only put my name upon the back o't to
_oblige_ him. Why do ye bring it to me?'
"'You are responsible, sir,' said the clerk.
"'Responsible! the meikle mischief!' I exclaimed; 'what am I responsible
for, sir?--I only put my name doun to oblige him, I tell ye! For what am I
responsible?'
"'For three hundred pounds, and legal interest for six months,' said my
unwelcome visiter, wi' a face that shewed as little concern for the
calamity in which, through mere simplicity and goodness of heart, I was
involved, as if he had ordered me to take a pipe, and blow three hundred
soap-bubbles!
"'Oh! lack-o'-me!' cried I, 'is that possible? Is Mr Swanston sic a
villain? I am ruined--I am clean ruined. Who in all the world will tell
Nancy?'
"But that I found was a question that I did not need to ask; for she kenned
almost as soon as I did mysel'.
"I need not say that I had the three hundred pounds, ineerest and all,
plack and farthing, to pay; though, by my folly and simplicity, I had
brought my wife and family to the verge o' ruin, she never was the woman to
fling my silly conduct in my teeth; and all that she ever did say to me
upon the subject, was--'Weel, Nicholas, this is the first o' your bill
transactions, or o' your being caution for onybody, and I trust it has
proved such a lesson as I hope ye will never need another.'
"'O Nancy, woman!' cried I, 'dinna speak to me! for I could knock my brains
oot! I am the greatest simpleton upon the face o' the earth.'
"Now, that was one instance o' my simple conduct and its consequences, and
I will just relate to you another or two. I had bought some ninety pounds
worth o' flax from a merchant in Glasgow, for which I was to receive six
months' credit. Weel, he came round for his money at the appointed time,
and I paid him accordingly, and got a line off his hand in acknowledgment.
On that very day, and just about an hour after he had left, Nancy says to
me--'Nicholas, I dinna owre and aboon like that man that ye hae been
dealing wi' the day. He has owre muckle gab, and scraping, and bowing for
me. I wish he may be honest. Have ye got a receipt from him?'
"'Certainly,' says I; 'do ye think I would pay onybody money without one?'
"'And I hope it is on a stamp,' said she.
"'A stamp!' quoth I--'a stamp!--hoots, woman! I wonder to see ye so
suspicious. Ye dinna tak a' the world to be rogues?'
"'No,' said she, 'I do not, and I should be sorry if I did; but if ye hae
taken a receipt from him without a stamp, ye are a simple man--that is all
that I say.'
'A simple man!' cried I; 'gracious! what does the woman mean? Ye are for
ever saying that I am simple this, and simple that! I wish that ye would
explain yoursel, and say what ye wish to be after! Where, or how am I
simple?'
"'It's not been one lesson that you've had, Nicholas,' said she, 'nor ten,
nor twenty either, but it is every week, I may say every day, wi' ye. There
is perpetually some person or another showing ye that the 'simple man is
the beggar's brother,' and ye canna see it, or ye winna regard it. But ye
will, perhaps, be brought to think on't, when neither your bairns nor me
have a stool to sit upon.'
"'Woman!' exclaimed I, 'flesh and blood cannot stand your tongue! Ye would
exasperate the patience o' Job! What is it that ye wish to be after?--what
would ye have me to do?'
"'Oh, it is o' nae use getting into a passion about it,' said she, 'for
that winna mend the matter. But there is only this in it, Nicholas: I would
have ye to be as sharp in your dealings in the world, as ye are wi' me when
I happen to speak a word to ye for your good.'
"There was so much truth in what she said, and she always spoke in such a
calm, good-natured manner that it was impossible to continue to be in a
passion wi' her. So I said no more about the subject; but I thought to
mysel', that, as I knew very little about the man I had dealt with, it
would hae been quite as safe to have had the receipt upon a stamp.
"A few months afterwards, I saw his name amongst the list o' bankrupts; and
to my very great astonishment, I received a letter from a writer, demanding
payment from me o' the ninety pounds for the flax which I had already paid.
"'The thing is unreasonable a'thegither,' said I; 'here is a man that hasna
paid once himself, and he would come upon me to pay twice! But I'll see him
far enough first!'
"I paid no attention to the letter, and I was summoned to appear before the
writer, and three men that were called the trustees to the bankrupt's
estate. (Dear kens where the estate lay.)
"'Sir,' said they to me, as haughtily as if I had been a criminal before
them; 'wherefore do ye refuse to pay the ninety pounds?'
"'For the best o' a' reasons, gentlemen,' said I, very civilly; 'and that
simply is, because I have paid it already.'
"'What proof can you show for that!' asked the writer.