It is not too much to say that bed-making circles in Cambridge have
been agitated to their utmost depths by the recent advent of some
hundreds of American youths who have come to pursue certain courses
of study within the University walls. Let us make one thing perfectly
clear. Bed-makers do not object to Americans as Americans, but this
avalanche of Transatlantics arrives on the very eve of the vacation,
just when the bed-makers are packing off the contingent of young Naval
officers who have been making things hum during the past term.
Persuaded that their too-brief holidays will be entirely absorbed in
attending to the Americans, the bed-makers urge with some justice that
they too are entitled to enjoy the beautiful things of this enchanting
world quite as much as miners and railway-men. We understand that
meetings of their Association are being held, and that the University
authorities are faced by a situation which is rapidly passing beyond
their control. Bed-makers are amongst the most loyal members of the
community, but they feel, as a prominent member of the profession
put it, that "the last camel breaks the straw's back," and they are
determined to uphold their immemorial rights.
We have thought it our duty therefore to interview the celebrated Mrs.
Bloggins, the _doyenne_ of the Corps of Bed-makers of Trinity College.
We found the lady in her home in Paradise Walk, where she was engaged
in eating some excellent buttered toast. We lost no time in explaining
the purport of our visit.
"We desire to know, Mrs. Bloggins," we began, "what your feelings are
with regard to the Americans."
"Ah," said Mrs. Bloggins, speaking with deep emotion, "you may well
call 'em Americans, for I've never bin so troubled about anythink
before. Some people seem to git the notion into their 'eads that
bed-makers do no work. Why we're arst to slave from mornin' till
night, and our pay is paltry. Things in Cambridge isn't like what they
was. Time was when our young gentlemen used to 'ave big dinners
in their rooms, and a careful bed-maker could save a bone or two.
Nowadays they,'re only cheese-parers, that's what I call 'em. You
won't believe me, I know, but my mother, who was a bed-maker afore me,
used to 'ave a month at the seaside every year, all paid for out of
money give to 'er by 'er young gentlemen. To be sure there was a
wrangler, or somethink of that kind, who didn't come up to the mark,
so she soon got rid of 'im; 'e used to find 'is butter was took by the
cat, and accidents of that kind.
"Mind yer," she continued, "I ain't got nothink to say against the
Americans. They may be the most liberal-'earted gentlemen in the world
for all I know. But it's the principle of the thing I'm objectin' to.
It's a case of kill me quick or cure me to-morrow, and if President
WILSON was to talk till next week 'e couldn't make it no different.
You can't make a silk sock out of a side of bacon, and that's true
whichever way you look at it."
"But what steps," we urged, "does your Association intend to take,
Mrs. Bloggins, over this matter?"
"I don't know nothink about no 'sociations," said Mrs. Bloggins, "but
I do know that we're all in it, and Mrs. Pledger and Mrs. 'Uggins, and
the rest of 'em, we knows our power and we intends to use it."
"In what way do you mean?" I said.
She looked at me cunningly.
"Now you're spyin'. It's dirty work and I won't 'ave it 'ere. You
might be the Proctor hisself for all I cares--you're not going to
ferret nothink out of me."
Hereupon she rose with great dignity and plainly indicated that the
interview was at an end.
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La Haute Cuisine.
"Cook; French; age 38; wages £25-£30 week."--_Morning Post._
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