["As the result of a conference called by the War Office it has
been decided to wage a war of annihilation against the warble-fly.
It is hoped that by means of concerted action through the country
this pestilent insect, so injurious to the hides of horses and
cattle, may be completely stamped out." _Daily Paper._]
The warble-fly, the warble-fly
Is absolutely doomed to die.
They've summoned all the General Staff,
There's going to be a mighty "strafe,"
And soon the land from shore to shore
Will echo with the din of war,
As armèd hosts with martial cries
Descend upon the warble-flies.
We've got the shells, we've got the guns
(The same that overwhelmed the Huns),
And, what is more, we've got the Man;
With WINSTON riding in the van
I do not think there's any doubt
That we shall put the foe to rout,
And, scorning peace by compromise,
Annihilate the warble-flies.
In tranquil peace the gentle beeves
Shall chew their cud through summer eves;
No more shall that alarming warble
Affright the calm of heifer or bull,
And send them snorting round the croft
With eyes of fear and tails aloft.
Till every warble-fly be floored
Whitehall will _never_ sheathe the sword.
* * * * *
The Growth of Impropriety.
"Her hair is always exquisitely dressed, and her shoes in perfect
shape. No more in the way of dress is required of any woman."
_Daily Mirror._
* * * * *
"PROPOSED IMPROVEMENT OF A DANGEROUS CORONER."
_Headline in Provincial Paper._
The best plan, possibly, would be to get the jury to sit on him.
* * * * *
[Illustration: NEWSPAPER HEADINGS POPULARLY ILLUSTRATED.
"INFLUENZA MICROBE DISCOVERED AT A LONDON HOSPITAL."]
* * * * *