INTRODUCED TO MESSRS. BALFOUR AND TENNANT BY MESSERS. CHURCHILL,
JOYNSON-HICKS AND PEMBERTON-BILLING.]
_Monday, May 15th._--The continued absence of Mr. ASQUITH is causing
much speculation in the Lobbies. Will the new Irish Privy Councillor
come back from Dublin, like Lord BEACONSFIELD from Berlin, bringing
peace with honour in his pack? Or will he, as so many British statesmen
have done before, find the inherited hostility of Irishmen to one
another an insuperable obstacle? An hon. and learned Nationalist was
not encouraging. "When," he was asked, "were the seeds of this trouble
sown?" "When STHRONGBOW came to Ireland," was the answer. "And when do
you think it will be over?" persisted the questioner. "When the world's
at an end."
Last Session Mr. KING was easily the champion of Question-time. But
this year, thanks to the Sinn Feiners, Mr. GINNELL is coming up with a
rush. Mr. KING has however one consolation. Mr. GINNELL rarely extracts
much information from Ministers; often it is nothing more than "There
is no foundation for the allegation contained in the question." Whereas
his rival, whose queries cover a much wider field, frequently elicits
important facts. Like the rest of the world he has been puzzled by
the coloured tabs now so commonly seen on officers' tunics. What did
they mean? Mr. TENNANT for once was communicative. "I think," he said,
"green stands for intelligence." Mr. KING is now more regretful than
ever that he is over military age; the green badge would just suit his
mental complexion.
Ever since the Military Service Bill came under discussion the public
galleries have been full of men in khaki. As it seems difficult to
believe that their presence is due to the intrinsic fascination of
debates, which have been for the most part insufferably dull, another
theory has been started. Should the opponents of the Bill become too
obstructive and threaten its passage, will these doughty warriors leap
over the barriers, drop down on to the floor of the House (in the
manner already made historic this Session) and execute a new "PRIDE'S
Purge"?
A rather unkind trick was played upon the Simonites by Mr. BARNES. He
has a good deal of influence with the Government nowadays, and when he
delivered an eloquent defence of conscientious objectors, describing
them as the men who kept the spiritual fires burning, there were high
hopes that he was going to secure an enlargement of the loopholes in
the Bill. But as he went on to explain that his remarks only applied to
genuine cases and had nothing to do with the shoal of frauds who had
discovered a conscience within the last month or two, the enthusiasm
below the Gangway fell so suddenly that you could almost hear it drop.
_Tuesday, May 16th._--To invite the House of Lords to go in for
daylight saving is rather like carrying coals to Newcastle. The Peers
habitually set an excellent example in this respect. No matter what the
importance of the subject under consideration they almost invariably
manage to conclude its discussion before the dinner-hour.
Some of Lord LANSDOWNE'S friends are beginning to fear that association
with wicked Radicals like Lord CREWE is having a deteriorating effect
upon his political faith. They were shocked to hear him allude almost
disparagingly to the innate conservatism of the national temperament,
which put Greenwich mean time on the same level as the Thirty-nine
Articles. He even spoke disrespectfully of the sun, to the marked
disapproval of that other shining light, Lord SALISBURY.
In the Commons the Simonites made a determined effort to get the
minimum age raised from 18 to 19. But Mr. LONG was obdurate, though he
promised that, subject to exceptional military necessity, no conscript
should be sent abroad till he was 19. Eventually the Bill passed its
Third Reading by 250 to 35.
A characteristically bitter speech from Mr. SNOWDEN evoked an
appropriate retort from Sir ARTHUR MARKHAM. Observing that the Hon.
Member had been against the War throughout, he charged him with "making
vitriolic speeches and dropping acid drops in every direction." Mr.
SNOWDEN (remembering the case of Mr. JOHN BURNS) may think himself
lucky if he is not known as "The Acid Drop" for the rest of his
political career.
_Wednesday, May 17th._--The Summer Time Bill passed into law to-day,
in spite of the gloomy prognostications of Lord BALFOUR OF BURLEIGH.
He foresaw the time when the Committee of Privileges might be called
upon to pronounce a new judgment of SOLOMON on the question whether
a peerage should go to a boy born at 2.50 A.M. on October 1st or to
his twin-brother, born actually half-an-hour later, but according to
statutory time half-an-hour before.
While the Lords were illuminating the daylight the Commons were engaged
in ventilating the air. The present administration of the Flying
Services was severely criticised by Mr. JOYNSON-HICKS, who wanted an
Air Minister--not Lord CURZON, but "someone with a reputation to lose."
Mr. TENNANT promptly announced that the ex-Viceroy of India would be
President of the new Air Board.
Colonel CHURCHILL launched into a lengthy history of the Air Services,
from which we gathered that but for the exertions of a former First
Lord, who used to divert money voted for hospitals and coastguard
stations to the building of aeroplanes, the country would have had no
aerial defences when the War broke out. He joined in the demand for an
Air Ministry. In fact, he had himself proposed it to the PRIME MINISTER
a year ago. It is possible that he even indicated a suitable person to
fill the post.
Before the War it was sometimes said of Lord HUGH CECIL that his
Parliamentary speeches were too much up in the clouds. Since he has
taken to exploring those regions as a member of the Royal Flying Corps,
that criticism no longer applies. In a severely practical speech he
flatly contradicted the accusations that had been made against our Air
Service, and boldly claimed that it was the most efficient in the world.
After that, Mr. BONAR LAW had a comparatively easy task in persuading
the House to give the new Air Board a fair trial. In reference to the
fears that had been expressed as to the powers to be accorded to its
President he drily remarked that from his experience in the Cabinet he
did not think Lord CURZON would be found lacking in personality.
All through the afternoon Mr. PEMBERTON-BILLING had been popping up
with questions, interjections and points of order. Now he rose to
continue the debate, but Members had apparently had enough of him for
one day. After a few minutes he suffered the most inglorious fate that
can befall a Parliamentary crusader. One by one his audience melted
away, until there was not enough left to make a House. "P. B." was
counted out.
_Thursday, May 18th._--Lord LANSDOWNE at least is not afraid of the
new Order in Council prohibiting reference to Cabinet proceedings. In
answer to complaints of the delay in introducing Compulsory Service he
told the old story of the widow who married a widower, and complained
to a friend that "_his_ children are always fighting with _my_ children
and frightening _our_ children." That, he implied, was what went on in
the Coalition.
The Commons enjoyed a pretty little duel between two old friends.
Ex-Professor HEWINS delivered a long lecture on elementary economics,
leading up to the conclusion that we could not beat the Germans without
an immediate dose of Tariff Reform. The House, expecting an equally
solemn defence of Free Trade from the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER, was
at once surprised and delighted when Mr. CHAMBERLAIN rose to reply.
Though tied to the Tariff movement "by my heart-strings as well as by
my head," he thought it would be imprudent to embark on it at this
moment. After the War it would very likely meet with general consent.
Mr. HEWINS must have felt like _Alice_ with "jam yesterday, and jam
to-morrow, but never jam to-day."
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[Illustration: DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE;