(_For the Centre Weeks of July._)
_Question._ Do you prefer Bisley to Wimbledon?
_Answer._ Officially, yes; as a civilian, no.
_Q._ Why do you make the distinction?
_A._ Because I go to Bisley in a double capacity.
_Q._ Why do you prefer Bisley to Wimbledon officially?
_A._ Because there are no distractions, and the ranges are less
subject to atmospheric interruption.
_Q._ Why do you prefer Wimbledon to Bisley as a civilian?
_A._ Because Wimbledon was an extremely cheery place, where you could
entertain your friends to your heart's content, and have a generally
good time of it.
_Q._ Can you not obtain the same advantages at Bisley?
_A._ Certainly not. You are in the neighbourhood of Woking Cemetery,
and that melancholy spot influences its surroundings.
_Q._ But were you not always regretting the attractions of Wimbledon
when you were in Surrey?
_A._ Certainly, because they lured me from work.
_Q._ Do you still regret them?
_A._ More than ever, because they were certainly pleasanter than the
attractions of Bisley.
_Q._ And now, in conclusion, what do you think of this year's
shooting?
_A._ The same as former years.
_Q._ What do you mean by that?
_A._ That those who win owe their good shots to flukes, and those who
fail have to thank their rifles, and the state of the weather.
* * * * *
"SO LIKE THEM!"--Of all the numerous "memorials" of the Royal Wedding,
Count WALERY'S "Wedding Number of Photographic Portraits" takes the
wedding cake. It is priced at three shillings and sixpence, and for
this you get one English sovereign and "royalties." If this isn't good
value for money we don't know what is.
* * * * *
THE SKIRT-DANCER, OR UNLIMITED LOIE-ABILITY.--When a theatre is doing
"good business," and is crammed in every part, placards are exhibited,
announcing "Pit Full, Stalls Full, Boxes Full," &c., &c. But at the
Gaiety just now, where Miss LOIE FULLER is appearing, the management
might simply put up outside the simple statement of fact--"FULLER
EVERY EVENING!"
* * * * *
THE ECLIPSE RIDDLE.--Why didn't _La Fleche_ win the Eclipse
Stakes?--Because she wanted to keep out of _Orme's_ way.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.
_Sir Pompey (so much in earnest that he forgets his Grammar)._ "WELL,
ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS, THAT WHAT I GIVE IN CHARITY IS NOTHING TO
NOBODY!"]
* * * * *