"You don't sing the wydes (words),--I wants the wydes."
I sang the words as softly as possible with my lips close to his ear,
but he roared:--
"Sing louder."
"I don't know any more of it, Toddie," I exclaimed in desperation.
"Oh, I'll tell it all to you, Uncle Harry," said Budge. And there,
before that audience, and HER, I was obliged to sing that dreadful
doggerel, line for line, as Budge repeated it. My teeth were set tight,
my brow grew clammy, and I gazed upon Toddie with terrible thoughts in
my mind. No one laughed--I grew so desperate that a titter would have
given relief. At last I heard some one whisper:--
"SEE how he loves him! Poor man!--he's in perfect agony over the little
fellow."
Had not the song reached its natural end just then, I believe I should
have tossed my wounded nephew over the piazza rail. As it was, I set
him upon his feet, announced the necessity of our departure, and began
to take leave, when Miss Mayton's mother insisted that we should stay
to dinner.
"For myself, I should be delighted, Mrs. Mayton," said I; "but my
nephews have hardly learned company manners yet. I'm afraid my sister
wouldn't forgive me if she heard I had taken them out to dinner."
"Oh, I'll take care of the little dears," said Miss Mayton; "they'll be
good with ME, I KNOW."
"I couldn't be so unkind as to let you try it, Miss Mayton," I replied.
But she insisted, and the pleasure of submitting to her will was so
great that I would have risked even greater mischief. So Miss Mayton
sat down to dinner with Budge upon one side and Toddie on the other,
while I was fortunately placed opposite, from which position I could
indulge in warning winks and frowns. The soup was served. I signaled
the boys to tuck their napkins under their chins, and then turned to
speak to the lady on my right. She politely inclined her head toward
me, but her thoughts seemed elsewhere; following her eyes, I beheld my
youngest nephew with his plate upraised in both hands, his head on the
table-cloth, and his eyes turned painfully upward. I dared not speak,
for fear he would drop the plate. Suddenly he withdrew his head, put on
an angelic smile, tilted his plate so part of its contents sought
refuge in the fold of Miss Mayton's dainty, snowy dress, while the
offender screamed:--
"Oo--ee--!--zha turtle on my pyate!--Budgie, zha turtle on my pyate!"
Budge was about to raise the plate when he caught my eye and desisted.
Poor Miss Mayton actually looked discomposed for the first time in her
life, so far as I knew or could imagine. She recovered quickly,
however, and treated that wretched boy with the most Christian
forbearance and consideration during the remainder of the meal. When
the dessert was finished she quickly excused herself, while I removed
Toddie to a secluded corner of the piazza, and favored him with a
lecture which caused him to howl pitifully, and compelled me to caress
him and undo all the good which my rebukes had done. Then he and Budge
removed themselves to the lawn, while I awaited Miss Mayton's
reappearance, to offer an apology for Toddie, and to make our adieus.
It was the custom of the ladies at Mrs. Clarkson's to stroll about the
lovely rural walks after dinner and until twilight; and on this
particular evening they departed in twos and threes, leaving me to make
my apology without witnesses. I was rather sorry they went; it was not
pleasant to feel that I was principally responsible for my nephews'
blunder, and to have no opportunity to allay my conscience-pangs by
conversation. It seemed to me Miss Mayton was forever in appearing; I
even called up my nephews to have some one to talk to.
Suddenly she appeared, and in an instant I fervently blessed Toddie and
the soup which the child had sent upon its aimless wanderings. I would
rather pay the price of a fine dress than try to describe Miss Mayton's
attire; I can only say that in style, color and ornament it became her
perfectly, and set off the beauties of a face which I had never before
thought was more than pleasing and intelligent. Perhaps the anger which
was excusable after Toddie's graceless caper had something to do with
putting unusual color into her cheeks, and a brighter sparkle than
usual in her eyes. Whatever was the cause, she looked queenly, and I
half imagined that I detected in her face a gleam of satisfaction at
the involuntary start which her unexpected appearance caused me to
make. She accepted my apology for Toddie with queenly graciousness, and
then, instead of proposing that we should follow the other ladies, as a
moment before I had hoped she would, she dropped into a chair. I
accepted the invitation; the children should have been in bed half an
hour before, but my sense of responsibility had departed when Miss
Mayton appeared. The little scamps were safe until they should perform
some new and unexpected act of impishness. They retired to one end of
the piazza, and busied themselves in experiments upon a large
Newfoundland dog, while I, the happiest man alive, talked to the
glorious woman before me, and enjoyed the spectacle of her radiant
beauty. The twilight came and deepened, but imagination prevented the
vision from fading. With the coming of the darkness and the starlight,
our voices unconsciously dropped to lower tones, and HER voice seemed
purest music. And yet we said nothing which all the world might not
have listened to without suspecting a secret. The ladies returned in
little groups, but either out of womanly intuition or in answer to my
unspoken but fervent prayers, passed us and went into the house. I was
affected by an odd mixture of desperate courage and despicable
cowardice. I determined to tell her all, yet I shrank from the task
with more terror than ever befell me in the first steps of a charge.
Suddenly a small shadow came from behind us and stood between us, and
the voice of Budge remarked:--
"Uncle Harry 'spects you, Miss Mayton."
"Suspects me?--of what, pray?" exclaimed the lady, patting my nephew's
cheek.
"Budge!" said I--I feel that my voice rose nearly to a scream--"Budge,
I must beg of you to respect the sanctity of confidential
communications."
"What is it, Budge?" persisted Miss Mayton; "you know the old adage,
Mr. Burton: 'Children and fools speak the truth.' Of what does he
suspect me, Budge?"
"'Tain't SUS-pect at all," said Budge, "it's es-pect."
"Expect?" echoed Miss Mayton.
"No, not 'ex,' it's ES-spect. I know all about it, 'cause I asked him.
Espect is what folks do when they think you're nice, and like to talk
to you, and--"
"Respect is what the boy is trying to say, Miss Mayton," I interrupted,
to prevent what I feared might follow. "Budge has a terrifying faculty
for asking questions, and the result of some of them, this morning, was
my endeavor to explain to him the nature of the respect in which
gentlemen hold ladies."
"Yes," continued Budge, "I know all about it. Only Uncle Harry don't
say it right. What he calls espect _I_ calls LOVE."
There was an awkward pause--it seemed an age. Another blunder, and all
on account of those dreadful children. I could think of no possible way
to turn the conversation; stranger yet, Miss Mayton could not do so
either. Something MUST be done--I could at least be honest, come what
would--I would be honest.
"Miss Mayton," said I, hastily, earnestly, but in a very low tone,
"Budge is a marplot, but he is a truthful interpreter for all that. But
whatever my fate may be, please do not suspect me of falling suddenly
into love for a holiday's diversion. My malady is of some months'
standing. I--"
"I want to talk SOME," observed Budge. "You talk all the whole time.
I--I--when _I_ loves anybody I kisses them."
Miss Mayton gave a little start, and my thoughts followed each other
with unimagined rapidity. SHE did not turn the conversation--it could
not be possible that she COULD not. She was not angry, or she would
have expressed herself. Could it be that--
I bent over her and acted upon Budge's suggestion. As she displayed no
resentment, I pressed my lips a second time to her forehead, then she
raised her head slightly, and I saw, in spite of darkness and shadows,
that Alice Mayton had surrendered at discretion. Taking her hand and
straightening myself to my full height, I offered to the Lord mere
fervent thanks than he ever heard from me in church. Then I heard Budge
say, "_I_ wants to kiss you, too," and I saw my glorious Alice snatch
the little scamp into her arms, and treat him with more affection than
I ever imagined was in her nature. Then she seized Toddie, and gave him
a few tokens of forgiveness--I dare not think they were of gratitude.
Suddenly two or three ladies came upon the piazza.
"Come, boys," said I. "Then I'll call with the carriage tomorrow at
three, Miss Mayton. Good evening."
"Good evening," replied the sweetest voice in the world; "I'll be ready
at three."
"Budge," said I, as soon as we were fairly outside the hedge-gate,
"what do you like better than anything else in the world?"
"Candy," said Budge, very promptly.
"What next?"
"Oranges."
"What next?"
"Oh, figs, an' raisins, an' dear little kittie-kitties, an' drums, an'
picture-books, an' little bakin' dishes to make mud-pies in, an'
turtles, an' little wheelbarrows."
"Anything else?"
"Oh, yes--great big black dogs--an' a goat, an' a wagon for him to draw
me in."
"Very well, old fellow--you shall have every one of those things
tomorrow."
"Oh--h--h--h--h!" exclaimed Budge, "I guess you're something like the
Lord, ain't you?"
"What makes you think so, Budge?"
"Oh, 'cause you can do such lots of things at once. But ain't poor
little Tod goin' to have noffin'?"
"Yes, everything he wants. What would you like, Toddie?"
"Wants a candy cigar," replied Toddie.
"What else?"
"Don't want NUFFIN' else--don't want to be boddered wif LOTS of fings."
The thoughts which were mine that night--the sense of how glorious a
thing it is to be a man and be loved--the humility that comes with such
a victory as I had gained--the rapid alternation of happy thoughts and
noble resolutions--what man is there who does not know my whole story
better than I can tell it? I put my nephews to bed; I told them every
story they asked for; and when Budge, in saying his prayers, said "an'
bless that nice lady that Uncle Harry 'spects," I interrupted his
devotions with a hearty hug. The children had been awake so far beyond
their usual hour for retiring that they dropped asleep without giving
any special notice of their intention to do so. Asleep, their faces
were simply angelic. As I stood, candle in hand, gazing gratefully upon
them, I remembered a sadly neglected duty. I hurried to the library and
wrote the following to my sister:
"HILLCREST, Monday Night.
"DEAR HELEN:--I should have written you before had I been exactly
certain what to say about your boys. I confess that until now I have
been blind to some of their virtues, and have imagined I detected an
occasional fault. But the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I see
clearly that my nephews are angels--positively angels. If I seem to
speak extravagantly, I beg to refer you to Alice Mayton for collateral
evidence. Don't come home at all--everything is just as it should
be--even if you come, I guess I'll invite myself to spend the rest of
the summer with you; I've changed my mind about its being a bore to
live out of town and take trains back and forth every day. Ask Tom to
think over such bits of real estate in your neighborhood as he imagines
I might like.
"I repeat it, the boys are angels, and Alice Mayton is another, while
the happiest man in the white goods trade is
"Your affectionate brother
"HARRY."
Early next morning I sought the society of my nephews. It was
absolutely necessary that I should overflow to SOME one--some one who
was sympathetic and innocent and pure. I longed for my sister--my
mother, but to SOME one I must talk at once. Budge fulfilled my
requirements exactly; he was an excellent listener, very sympathetic by
nature, and quick to respond. Not the wisdom of the most reverend sage
alive could have been so grateful to my ear as that child's prattle was
on that delightful morning. As for Toddie--blessed be the law of
compensation! his faculty of repetition, and of echoing whatever he
heard said, caused him to murmur "Miff Mayton, Miff Mayton," all
morning long, and the sound gained in sweetness by its ceaseless
iteration. To be sure, Budge took early and frequent occasions to
remind me of my promises of the night before, and Toddie occasionally
demanded the promised candy cigar; but these very interruptions only
added joy to my own topic of interest each time it was resumed. The
filling of Budge's orders occupied two or three hours and all the
vacant space in the carriage; even then the goat and goat-carriage were
compelled to follow behind.
The program for the afternoon was arranged to the satisfaction of every
one. I gave the coachman, Mike, a dollar to harness the goat and teach
the children to drive him; this left me free to drive off without being
followed by two small figures and two pitiful howls.
I always believed a horse was infected by the spirit of his driver. My
dear old four-footed military companions always seemed to perfectly
comprehend my desires and intentions, and certainly my brother-in-law's
horses entered into my own spirits on this particular afternoon. They
stepped proudly, they arched their powerful necks handsomely, their
feet seemed barely to touch the ground; yet they did not grow restive
under the bit, nor were they frightened even at a hideous steam
road-rolling machine which passed us. As I drove up to Mrs. Clarkson's
door I found that most of the boarders were on the piazza--the memories
of ladies are usually good at times. Alice immediately appeared,
composed of course, but more radiant than ever.
"Why, where are the boys?" she exclaimed.
"I was afraid they might annoy your mother," I replied, "so I left them
behind."
"Oh, mother hardly feels well enough to go today," said she; "she is
lying down."
"Then we can pick up the boys on the road," said I, for which remark,
my enchantress, already descending the steps, gave me a look which the
ladies behind her would have given their best switches to have seen.
We drove off as decorously as if it were Sunday and we were driving to
church; we industriously pointed out to each other every handsome
garden and tasteful residence we passed; we met other people driving,
and conversed fluently upon their horses, carriages and dress. But when
we reached the edge of the town, and I turned into "Happy Valley," a
road following the depressions and curves of a long, well-wooded
valley, in which there was not a single straight line, I turned and
looked into my darling's face. Her eyes met mine, and, although they
were full of a happiness which I had never seen in them before, they
filled with tears, and their dear owner dropped her head on my
shoulder. What we said on that long drive would not interest the
reader. I have learned by experience to skip all love talks in novels;
no matter how delightful the lovers may be. Recalling now our
conversation, it does not seem to me to have had anything wonderful it
in. I will only say that if I had been happy on the evening before, my
happiness now seemed to be sanctified; to be favored with the love and
confidence of a simple girl scarcely past her childhood is to receive a
greater honor than court or field can bestow; but even this honor is
far surpassed by that which comes to a man when a woman of rare
intelligence, tact and knowledge of society and the world, unburdens
her heart of all its hopes and fears, and unhesitatingly leaves her
destiny to be shaped by his love. Women like Alice Mayton do not thus
give themselves unreservedly away except when their trust is born of
knowledge as well as affection, and the realization of all this changed
me on that afternoon from whatever I had been into what I had long
hoped I might one day be.
But the hours flew rapidly, and I reluctantly turned the horses' heads
homeward. We had left almost the whole of "Happy Valley" behind us, and
were approaching residences again.
"Now we must be very proper," said Alice.
"Certainly," I replied, "here's a good--by to happy nonsense for this
afternoon."
I leaned toward her, and gently placed one arm about her neck; she
raised her dear face, from which joy and trust had banished every
indication of caution and reserve, my lips sought hers, when suddenly
we heard a most unearthly, discordant shriek, which presently separated
into two, each of which prolonged itself indefinitely. The horses
started, and Alice--blessed be all frights, now, henceforth, and
forevermore!--clung tightly to me. The sounds seemed to be approaching
us, and were accompanied by a lively rattling noise, that seemed to be
made by something wooden. Suddenly, as we approached a bend of the
road, I saw my youngest nephew appear from some unknown space, describe
a parabolic curve in the air, ricochet slightly from an earthy
protuberance in the road, and make a final stop in the gutter. At the
same time there appeared, from behind the bend, the goat, then the
carriage dragging on one side, and lastly, the boy Budge, grasping
tightly the back of the carriage body, and howling frightfully. A
direct collision between the carriage and a stone caused Budge to loose
his hold, while the goat, after taking in the scene, trotted leisurely
off, and disappeared in a road leading to the house of his late owner.
"Budge," I shouted, "stop that bawling, and come here. Where's Mike?"
"He--boo--hoo--went to--hoo--light his--boo--hoo--hoo--pipe, an' I just
let the--boo--hoo--whip go against to the goat, an' then he scattooed."
"Nashty old goat scaddooed," said Toddie, in corroboration.
"Well, walk right home, and tell Maggie to wash and dress you," said I.
"O Harry," pleaded Alice, "after they've been in such danger! Come here
to your own Aunt Alice, Budgie dear,--and you, too, Toddie,--you know
you said we could pick the boys up on the road, Harry. There,
there--don't cry--let me wipe the ugly old dirt off you, and kiss the
face, and make it well."
"Alice," I protested, "don't let those dirty boys clamber all over you
in that way."
"Silence, sir," said she, with mock dignity; "who gave me my lover, I
should like to ask?"
So we drove up to the boarding-house with the air of people who had
been devoting themselves to a couple of very disreputable children, and
I drove swiftly away again, lest the children should dispel the
illusion. We soon met Mike, running. The moment he recognized us, he
shouted:--
"Aye, ye little dhivils,--beggin' yer pardon, Masther Harry, an'
thankin' the Howly Mither that their good-for-nothin' little bones
ain't broke to bits. Av they saw a hippypottymus hitched to Pharaoh's
chariot, they'd think 'emselves jist the byes to take the bossin' av
it, the spalpeens."
But no number of ordinary hippopotami and chariots could have disturbed
the heavenly tranquillity of my mind on this most glorious of evenings.
Even a subtle sense of the fitness of things seemed to overshadow my
nephews. Perhaps the touch of my enchantress did it; perhaps it came
only from the natural relapse from great excitement; but no matter what
the reason was, the fact remains that for the rest of the evening two
very dirty suits of clothes held two children who gave one some idea of
how the denizens of Paradise might seem and act. They even ate their
suppers without indulging in any of the repulsive ways of which they
had so large an assortment, and they did not surreptitiously remove
from the table any fragments of bread and butter to leave on the piano,
in the card-basket, and other places inappropriate to the reception of
such varieties of abandoned property. They demanded a song after
supper, but when I sang, "Drink to Me only with Thine Eyes," and "Thou,
Thou, Reign'st in this Bosom," they stood by with silent tongues and
appreciative eyes. When they went to bed, I accompanied them by special
invitation, but they showed no disposition to engage in the usual
bedtime frolic and miniature pandemonium. Budge, when in bed, closed
his eyes, folded his hand and prayed:--
"Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' Toddie, an' Uncle Harry, an'
everybody else; yes, an' bless just lots that lovely, lovely lady that
comforted me after the goat was bad to me, an' let her comfort me lots
of times, for Christ's sake, Amen."
And Toddie wriggled, twisted, breathed heavily, threw his head back,
and prayed:
"Dee Lord, don't let dat old goat fro me into de gutter on my head
aden, an' let Ocken Hawwy an' ze pitty lady be dere netst time I dest
hurted."
Then the good-night salutations were exchanged, and I left the little
darlings and enjoyed communion with my own thoughts which were as
peaceful and ecstatic as if the world contained no white goods houses,
no doubtful customers, no business competition, no politics, gold
rooms, stock-boards, doubtful banks, political scandals, personal
iniquity, nor anything which should prevent a short vacation from
lasting through a long lifetime.
The next morning would have struck terror to the heart of any one but a
newly accepted lover. Rain was falling fast, and in that steady,
industrious manner which seemed to assert an intention to stick closely
to business for the whole day. The sky was covered by one impenetrable
leaden cloud, water stood in pools in the streets which were soft with
dust a few hours before; the flowers all hung their heads like
vagabonds who had been awake all night and were ashamed to face the
daylight. Even the chickens stood about in dejected attitudes, and
stray roosters from other poultry-yards found refuge in Tom's coop
without first being subjected to a trial of strength and skill by Tom's
game-cock.
But no man in my condition of mind could be easily depressed by bad
weather. I would rather have been able to drive about under a clear
sky, or lounge under the trees, or walk to the post-office in the
afternoon by the road which passed directly in front of Mrs. Clarkson's
boarding-house; but man should not live for himself alone. In the room
next mine were slumbering two wee people to whom I owed a great deal,
who would mourn bitterly when they saw the condition of the skies and
ground--I would devote myself to the task of making THEM so happy that
they would forget the absence of sunshine out of doors--I would sit by
their bedside and have a story ready for them the moment they awoke,
and put them in such a good humor that they could laugh, with me, at
cloud and rain.
I began at once to construct a story for their especial benefit; the
scene was to be a country residence on a rainy day, and the actors two
little boys who should become uproariously jolly in spite of the
weather. Like most people not used to story-making, my progress was not
very rapid; in fact, I had got no farther than the plot indicated above
when an angry snarl came from the children's room.
"What's the matter, Budge?" I shouted, dressing myself as rapidly as
possible.
"Ow--oo--ya--ng--um--boc--gaa," was the somewhat complicated response.
"What did you say, Budge?"
"Didn't say noffin'."
"Oh--that's what I thought."
"DIDN'T thought."
"Budge,--Budge,--be good."
"Don't WANT to be good--YA--A--A."
"Let's have some fun, Budge--don't you want to frolic?"
"No; I don't think frolic is nice."
"Don't you want some candy, Budge?"
"No--you ain't GOT no candy, I bleeve."
"Well, you sha'n't have any if you don't stop being so cross."
The only reply to this was a mighty and audible rustling of the bedding
in the boys' room, followed by a sound strongly resembling that caused
by a slap; then came a prolonged wail, resembling that of an ungreased
wagon-wheel.
"What's the matter, Toddie?"
"Budge s'apped me--ah--h--h--h!"
"What made you slap your brother, Budge?"
"I DIDN'T."
"You DID," screamed Toddie.
"I tell you I didn't--you're a naughty, bad boy to tell such lies,
Toddie."
"What DID you do, Budge?" I asked.
"Why--why--I was--I was turnin' over in bed, an' my hand was out, and
it tumbled against to Toddie--that's what."
By this time I was dressed and in the boy's room. Both my nephews were
sitting up in bed, Budge looking as sullen as an old jail-bird, and
Toddie with tears streaming all over his face.
"Boys," said I, "don't be angry with each other--it isn't right. What
do you suppose the Lord thinks when he sees you so cross to each other?"
"He don't think noffin'," said Budge; "you don't think he can look
through a black sky like that, do you?"
"He can look anywhere, Budge, and he feels very unhappy when he sees
little brothers angry with each other."
"Well, I feel unhappy, too--I wish there wasn't never no old rain, nor
nothin'."
"Then what would the plants and flowers do for a drink, and where would
the rivers come from for you to go sailing on?"
"An' wawtoo to mate mud-pies," added Toddie. "You's a naughty boy,
Buggie;" and here Toddie's tears began to flow afresh.
"I AIN'T a bad boy, an' I don't want no old rain nohow, an' that's all
about it. An' I don't want to get up, an' Maggie must bring me up my
breakfast in bed."
"Boo--hoo--oo," wept Toddie, "wants my brepspup in bed too."
"Boys," said I, "now listen. You can't have any breakfast at all unless
you are up and dressed by the time the bell rings. The rising bell rang
some time ago. Now dress like good boys, and you shall have some
breakfast, and then you'll feel a great deal nicer, and then Uncle
Harry will play with you and tell you stories all day long."
Budge crept reluctantly out of bed and caught up one of his stockings,
while Toddie again began to cry.
"Toddie," I shouted, "stop that dreadful racket, and dress yourself.
What are you crying for?"
"Well, I feelsh bad."
"Well, dress yourself, and you'll feel better."
"Wantsh YOU to djesh me."
"Bring me your clothes, then--quick!"
Again the tears flowed copiously. "Don't WANT to bring 'em," said
Toddie.
"Then come here!" I shouted, dragging him across the room, and
snatching up his tiny articles of apparel. I had dressed no small
children since I was rather a small boy myself, and Toddie's clothing
confused me somewhat. I finally got something on him, when a
contemptuous laugh from Budge interrupted me.
"How you goin' to put his shirt on under them things?" queried my
oldest nephew.
"Budge," I retorted, "how are you going to get any breakfast if you
don't put on something besides that stocking?"
The young man's countenance fell, and just then the breakfast bell
rang. Budge raised a blank face, hurried to the head of the stairs and
shouted:--
"Maggie?"
"What is it, Budge?"
"Was--was that the rising-bell or the breakfast-bell?"
"'Twas the breakfast-bell."