_Gives an account of what became of_ Tom, _who meets with an
unexpected acquaintance, and a new mistress; is restored to his
liberty; goes a whoring, and is lost_.
The Jew having been plentifully and designedly plied with liquor,
(for he was permitted to drink the most part of ten pots to himself)
never missed the hero of our history, till the next morning, and
he went to bed that night as _David_’s sow, for he was not of
_David_’s line. His name was _Abram Judah_, but his descent was from
_Ishmael_, the hand-maid’s bastard son; and there are very few Jews
who can truly and really boast any other descent, tho’ they, like all
other people in this respect, when abroad, and far from their own
home, affect and boast a pedigree to which they have no title.—There
is not an English vagrant, on the common tramp (as they express it)
but pretends to be well born, well bred, and worthy a better fate,
than that to which he was then subject, even those under the dominion
of _Jack Ketch_, though born of the most profligate and abandoned
rogues, and prostitutes, and who have learned under the influence of
their example, those vices, which brought them to that end, shall
die with a lie in their mouths, and boast the honesty, if not the
gentility of their parents: But of this flagrant piece of bravado,
none are more guilty than the Welch, Irish and Scotch, who being
reduced under the English yoke, and deprived of all other titles to
worldly respect, hold fast a sprig of the tree of genealogy, and are
all gentlemen born to estates, which they are kept out of by right
owners, from _Shenkin ap Shones_, who has but three goats in the
world, to the meanest Highlander.
Far be it from the writer of this history to make national
reflections, but if these annals should happen to light into the
hands of any of the three nations, let such remember, that it is
absurd, and ridiculous to the last degree, to claim that respect
which the world will give them on an imaginary title, either an
estate on the mountain of Penmanmure, or a family descent, which, if
it ever existed, is long since extinct, and dead to all intents and
purposes.
But the Jews of all others run into the greatest extravagancies in
this hypothetical system. Each and every of them, from the meanest
pedlar up to S—— G—— will tell you the very identical spot in the
land of Canaan, which was alloted to them by their legislator, long
before the days of David: Nay, some of them shall boast of such
and such of their female relations, who had the honour to be of
the seraglio of king Solomon; nor can I neglect this favourable
opportunity which offers itself of relating a secret memoir, of two
or three of their richest people, which may serve as a specimen
of their disinterested loyalty to the present prince, under whose
auspicious government they enjoy all the reasonable privileges of
natural subjects.
There was a traitor condemned to be executed at Tyburn, for having
in this city watched our armaments by sea and land, and sent timely
notice to the French king of all our intended expeditions. When he
found that there was no hopes left, he privately sent to a proper
person, to acquaint him, that he had something of moment to impart,
which regarded the welfare of the nation. He was admitted, heard,
and examined, and actually gave information of the particular people
concerned in the French loan, at the head of which were the chief
people of the Jews, and principally three of their richest and most
opulent traders. The traytor by this discovery saved his life, at
the time that the people at Tyburn had paid for their places to
see the execution of so notorious a malefactor. The person to whom
the information was delivered, turned the discovery to the prudent
ends of government. He sent for the three principal money-lenders,
who being confronted by the informer, were obliged to confess
their treachery, and thus the loan intended for the French king,
immediately changed its channel, and by the dexterity of the
minister, became subservient to the expences of a tedious war.
Yet these loyal subjects are the very people, to whom we were on the
point of linking ourselves, by a voluntary act of naturalization,
as if we had entertained a presumptuous design of frustrating all
prophecies, and making null the predictions of their dispersion, and
of these people being a scattered people over the face of the whole
earth. It was in vain for the son of _Ishmael_ to lament the loss
of his favourite Cat. _Tom_ was irretrievably lost. His search was
fruitless, and the more he stirred in the search, the more he became
the object of ridicule.
Our hero was no sooner brought to his new lodings, than he found
himself in the arms of his old fellow-servant _Dolly Tinder_, by
whose subtilty the whole scheme was laid and executed by her agents,
_Split-Hair_, and _Quasimodo_; the favorable representations she
had made to the mistress with whom she now lived, of the beauty and
excellence of our hero, captivated the lady with the strongest desire
to have him in her own possession. She had indicated this desire to
_Split-Hair_, and _Quasimodo_, two schoolmasters who attended her
son, the one in Latin, the other in writing and accounts. She gave
them a guinea to carry on this design with more facility, and to
bribe proper instruments to bring off our hero; which was accordingly
performed in the manner related.
Had _Dolly Tinder_ given her mistress the most valuable present, she
could not more have ingraciated herself than by this new acquisition;
she fed him, caressed him, and did every thing endearing to cultivate
a good acquaintance with her favourite. He even rivalled her darling
parot in her affection; and ’tis said Poll took umbrage at this
unnatural desertion, and did not speak a word to his mistress for two
days. He refused even to be fed by her, and fell into the deepest
melancholy. However, in some few days more, _Tom_ behaved with that
deference and respect to the parrot, whose plumage he greatly
admired, and whose interests he was somewhat afraid of, that they
entered into a very great friendship, and correspondence soon after,
and he permitted Poll to take some of his best morsels, nay, brought
it to his very cage, so that in a short time after, _Poll_ would
walk all over him as he lay stretched by the fire side, and suffered
himself to be carried on his back as Tom walked along the parlour.
But it happened one evening in the dusk, that he espied a beautiful
young female, who seemed by her careless air to be disposed for a
night’s ramble. Our hero, therefore, with his usual complaisance,
went up to her, and made his inclinations known, that he should
be glad to share that night’s adventure in company with so fair a
creature, and she giving a half unwilling consent, he followed her to
a dark ally; and was never more seen or heard of by his disconsolate
mistress.