_Tom commences an amour with a young lady of his own kidney.—He
turns actor and makes his first appearance on the stage at
Bartholomew-fair._
Tom was according to the custom of this celebrated place invested
with all the requisite apparatus of _Yates_ and _Shuter_. The
day was proclaimed by the Lord-Mayor, and the usual solemnities,
performed, of which _Tom_ was entirely ignorant. To describe this
great festival would be superfluous to most, therefore, for the sake
of the few, we shall confine ourselves to the department of _Tom_
the _Cat_. The bill run thus, several pantomime entertainments by
a real _Cat_, who excels _Maddox_ on the wire, plays the slight of
hand better than —— performs the dexterity of rope-dancing, and tells
fortunes; little, very little of this, oh! ingenious reader did _Tom_
the _Cat_, know any thing of it; yet his wise promulgators, thought
proper to impose on his supposed wisdom, and on the ignorance of
those who had met there to be imposed upon.
The German had however employed a piece of canvass to represent the
figure of _Tom_, in his various attitudes, something like those
exhibited of _Steward_, _Saunders_, _Maddox_, and Miss _Wilkinson_;
attitudes which the _Cat_ never performed.
The populace were drawn in, and more came to see _Tom_ the _Cat_’s
performance than that of either _Shuter_ or _Yates_.
When _Tom_ the _Cat_, made his first appearance at Bartholomew-fair,
it was not doubted but he would give the greatest satisfaction. The
monkeys and their tribe were first introduced to the people, who
played their old tricks over and over; but when the people called
aloud for _Tom_’s appearance it was then, and not till then, that
the sport of the fair begun; they gaped wide, when there appeared
several gentlemen of the human species; two by two, then several
ladies of the female species, two by two, dressed in robes of mimic
tissue; maids of honour in pairs, with white gloves. Next baboon,
king at arms, dressed in his regalia, attended by two ushers; next
came the ladies of the bed-chamber, followed by two pages of the
back-stairs, two train bearers; who bore the princesses coronet on a
velvet cushion, adorned with the arms of the _singeric_ order; and in
the middle, supported by two _feline_ lords, appeared _Tom_ beneath
a canopy of state. He was known, as _Garrick_ is, or as _Barry_ and
_Mossop_ was, by the dignity of his steps, and by other marks and
badges of his superiority over all the rest. For oh! reader; believe
me, who was present at this triumphal procession, that this mock
entrance was no more than the artifice of a German, purely invented
to deceive you, and to draw you in, whereas, there was nothing worthy
to be seen, but the figure and appearance of _Tom_, graced or rather
disgraced by the attendance of these _syngeric_ animals.
When he appeared first there was an universal clap of applause, tho’
he neither said or did any thing; he had been taught to make his
usual obedience in private, as players study their parts and get one
to hold them, to see if they are _gotten perfect_.
The first part he appeared in was in the _jack-scene_, which as it
was drawing up, he times the motion, leaping upon it, goes it ever so
swiftly, on which he stands till the leads are drawn up. Then, like
_Harlequin_, he is seen in the wheel turning a heavy spit, laden with
several joints of flesh and fowl, cut out in wood, at length he leaps
out of the wheel, and is received by the cook in the frying pan, out
of which he jumps into the fire, to verify the good old proverb,
_out of the frying pan into the fire_. This fire being painted to
deceive, did accordingly deceive the ignorant, but as _Tom_’s feet
never felt the heat of it, so did he after many grimaces of the
feet (allow me the expression) jump directly on the ladder of ropes
placed in a vertical position, on which he descended and ascended
better than e’er a minister of them all. The monkeys were put to the
trial, but they could not execute like him; in his begging attitude,
he collected for his master forty pence, out of a hundred and fifty
present; but when he jumped through the hoop on the stage, they all
threw down half-pence, pence, and shillings, which he had too much
honour to gather up, but left that to his substitute, the German’s
wife.
A female cat was then introduced, with whom he was to dance a minuet:
This too he performed to the satisfaction of all present; and when
the stewards appointed him to lead up the country dances, no person
there was more alert or brisk, than he to see that the ladies were
properly served with negus, tea, or coffee, as they desired: After
this it is said, there was an _Harlequin_ entertainment performed,
in which _Tom_ played the part of _Harlequin_, and his mistress or
partner that of _Columbine_, to the utmost satisfaction of all the
people who visited the German’s booth on this occasion, and some go
so far as to say that neither _Shuter_ or _Yates_ had much company
that night, as the German had cunningly inserted it at the top of
his bills that the character of the _Harlequin_, was to be performed
by _Tom_ the _Cat, who never appeared on any stage before_, and the
character of _Columbine_ by a young Lady of the _Cat-kind, it being
the first time of her appearing in that character_. This is the lady
of the feline quality with whom _Tom_ from this happy occasion of
playing _Harlequin_ with her commenced an amour.
With this young virgin _Tom_ was locked up by the German, in order to
have a fine breed by them. She was of a pure milk white, unspotted as
her chastity, had been the favourite puss of a lady not so unspotted
as herself; her ladyship seldom went a visiting without her dear
_Araminta_, (so she called her;) unhappy for poor _Minty_ she was one
summer’s evening diverting herself with catching flies, when this
cruel son of Judah took her up, and ran away with her; and though
her ladyship advertised her with marks, and tokens, and a handsome
reward, yet the Jew locked her up so close, that there never was any
tidings of her since, till this respectable history discovered the
place of her confinement, and sent _Tom_ to be the knight to this
distressed damsel.
On being closetted by this superb beauty, _Tom_ fell deeply
ennamoured, as indeed what Cat could withstand her insuperable charms
without feeling the flames of love. It is said that his passion for
her gave him a poetical turn, and produced these lines of the feline
composition.
On the Charms of MINTY the CAT, written by her lover TOM,
_Minty_, consent to be my bride
And I will quit all Cats beside,
Not the gay kitten in her prime,
Shall tempt my love to waste the time,
On any other Cat but thee,
On any but my charming she,
Let thy cærulean eyes behold
Thy lover _Tom_ to slavery sold,
A prisoner like thyself confined,
Yet to the cares of bondage blind,
So charming _Minty_ will but deign
To let me wear a lover’s chain,
Thy freedom I will ensure,
Thy self from injury secure,
Yes I’ll secure my charming Cat
From the fierce dogs, or o’er grown rats.
If _Minty_ on my faith relies on,
I’ll try each mouse for fear of poison,
Secure from harm, we’ll mouse together
Nor value dog or rat, a feather.
Still in my breast will imprint you
And wear thee in my heart dear _Minty_.
Whether he sat it to music himself, or some other celebrated master
framed the vocal composition, we cannot certainly say, but we hear
it was sung by a very good voice at the fair in the presence of
_Minty_’s self, who doubtless was not a little proud to hear her
beauties extolled by her own lover.
_Tom_ was too courtly to attack her any other way, than _en
Cavalier_—and she was not so prudish as to cry _Pish!_ like some
modern fine ladies, or say—I would not have you imagine me so easy
a conquest,—or I am none of those creaters you think me, and such
stuff—as his professions were honourable, and as she was conscious of
her own beauty, she believed his vows to be unfeigned, and though,
Conscious of her beauty she look’d down
Permitting the admiring sighing lover
Without restraint to feed upon her charms.
Yet, she was not ashamed to confess an equal passion for him,
and to repay his love and sincerity, with the surrender of those
charms, which none but so handsome a fellow as _Tom_ could either
conquer or deserve; we shall here be silent, and draw a curtain
over those conubial delights, which we cannot paint: Certain it is,
that they were both virgins, and therefore some people may be apt,
superstitiously to apprehend that the first child must be a fool; but
to falsify that vulgar opinion, we can affirm, that the first child
_Minty_ ever had, was the wittiest of the five, of which she was
delivered this lying in, and that the last born died of a miserable
consumption, contracted in the womb from the imbecility of its
texture. However, she was not so delicate or tender as to keep her
room for the fashionable month: History affirms, that she killed two
lusty mice, eat a slice of bacon, which she lighted on by accident,
and went through the part of Columbine two days after delivery. The
applause _Tom_ got in the character of Harlequin procured him such
a character as the celebrated _Lun_ himself never purchased, with
all his feats of activity; nay, this approbation went so far, that
several people came to converse and familiarly play with him and
actually gave him money, which he put into his master’s hands to keep
for him; notwithstanding his confinement grew very irksome to _Tom_
and his young lady, yet he fared very elegantly. He had bread and
milk, for his breakfast every day, fresh meat for his dinner, and
milk for supper; she indeed during her pregnancy longed for tea, of
which the Jew seldom drank any.
To obtain freedom for himself and dear _Minty_, became now the sole
object of his attention; it engrossed all his thoughts, and almost
interfered with his business. No husband on earth, could love a wife
better than he did his _Minty_, but love itself, incompatible with
bondage and confinement seemed to give way to the noble efforts for
freedom, with which his mind struggled. She indeed was a sharer in
his misfortunes, which in some measure sweetned the bitter cup, and
alleviated his misery, and though he did not understand Latin, yet he
thought with the Roman Poet,
_Salamæn miseris socios habuisse doloris._
As he was taking a walk with _Minty_, he observed a mouse under the
bed, and darting at it, he missed his aim, but made a happy discovery.
Not the famous _Erwin_, when he thought he found out the longitude
by discovering the immersion of the satellite of _Jupiter_, could be
more sensibly affected with raptures of delight, than our hero was
on the discovery of a mouse-hole, which led into the next garret.
Not _Columbus_, when he found _America_, nor _Cortez_ on discovering
the _Indian_ mines of gold could be more overjoyed. He would have
cried, ευρηκαμεν, but he happened not to understand the Greek—sure
it is he thought it, though he did not express it in terms; but he
was no sooner about reconnoitring the place, in order to invest it
_vi et armis_, than the door opened, and he was for ever torn away
from the arms of his beloved _Minty_. Oh! dire misfortune to lose his
mistress, together with the means of escape, and just at the very
crisis of the discovery.
So have I known a bard who having happily nicked a line, finds
himself embarressed and sorely perplexed to discover a rime to it.
He consults _Bysshe_’s Art of Poety, turns over the leaves, and
investigates the whole volume to catch the rhime, but in vain—at
length he scratches his head, pares his nails with his teeth, and
fathoms the depth of his own memory, when, oh! unspeakable! a dun
raps at the door, the rhime, just in the point of view, escapes him,
and is lost for ever, never alass to be again recovered. It had been
some consolation thought _Tom_, with himself, if this interruption
was deferred only till I had made the discovery to my charming
_Minty_—now she must pine in solitude, and waste the remainder of
her widowhood in fruitless anguish and imprisonment; constrained
to obey, though reluctant, every summons of her lordly ruler, to
frisk, and dance without inclination, for the entertainment of a
pitiful mob. Thus he lamented, till he was brought down stairs to be
exhibited as a shew; for his extroardinary beauty and the rumour
of his many excellent qualifications had drawn several to drink at
the house where the Jew lodged, in order to have a sight of _Tom
the Harlequin_, as he was now nick-named though other historians,
and some commentators differ in this point, insisting that he was
more universally called _Harlequin Tom_. Our penetration is not
sufficiently piercing to discuss this, or to determine the dispute
either in the affirmative or the negative. Many, however, were the
encomiums bestowed on the singularity of his shape, his fine skin,
and extraordinary stature, the brightness of his eyes, the symmetry
of his limbs, the poignancy of his wit, or the agility of his body.
When our hero had gone through his several exercitations, the Jew
pinned down his chain to the floor, and sat himself down with the
company who had invited him to regale over a pot of beer, which when
he consented one of the company who did not come there for nothing,
entered into the following dissertation, which the reader will find
in the next chapter, and if he chuses to read it through, he will
find it none of the most frivolous in the history.