_A curious conference between some of the most eminent personages
of the prison, during_ Tom’_s confinement. In which_ Tom
Traveller _relates part of his own life and adventures_.
It has been a usual, and a wise method too let me tell you, with all
Biographers to relax the reader’s mind with somewhat episodical
in imitation of _Homer_ and _Virgil_ in their Epics, who introduce
several respectable persons into the drama, beside _Achilles_, and
_Æneas_, so have we thought that we should oblige our readers,
who would in return be obliged to us for not cramming them with
the single adventures of _Tom_ the _Cat_ only, since we have this
fair opportunity of opening a fine prison-scene to his view, and
entertaining him with the most curious adventures, and interesting
incidents of _Tom the Traveller_, extracted from no book, or books
in the world, as his surprizing memoirs are no where to be found
but in this true history, and if any of our readers should be so
incredulous as to doubt the veracity of these anecdotes, we shall be
bold to remind him of the more incredible travels and voyages, which
are not half so well authenticated, though passed upon the world
every day, as real and genuine.
While the prisoners were regaling themselves over what liquor
_Tom_ the _Cat_’s adventure unexpectedly afforded them, _Hugh_,
known by the name of _Hugh of the Borough_, reminded one of his
fellow-prisoners of telling his story, which he was going to begin,
when they were interrupted by the introduction of the new prisoner
the _Cat_, for, as he told him, he and the rest had just finished
their narratives, and it only remained, for him to go on with his;
in compliance therefore of this reasonable demand: _Tom Traveller_,
so he was called, commenced his history in the following procedure.
_The_ LIFE _of_ TOM TRAVELLER.
As I was begot, conceived and born in a most extraordinary manner,
so it will appear in the course of my life, that my adventures, even
in abstract, as I shall relate them, have been equally amazing. My
mother was treacherously deluded by an opiate infused into a glass
of wine, when she had the good or ill-fortune (I know not which)
of being debauched in her sleep by her master, the husband of a
woman of quality with whom she lived; I was the result of this
piece of treachery; nor did my mother give the least intimations
of her discovering this foul practice, though she on awaking, could
not but perceive the alteration from that of a maid, to that of a
woman. When she had got rid of me in the most private manner, (for
she left her lady, when the signs of pregnancy appeared) she took me
wrapt up in a basket, and going to a publick house in _Piccadilly_,
she called for a gill of wine, drank it, and leaving a guinea to
be changed, she went out and was seen no more, but she left me in
her stead, thinking me and the guinea, a tolerable bargain for a
gill of wine, nor had I remained there long, before I made my host
of the tavern, sensible, that he had got a new guest; as I was a
fine boy, and he had no child, he put me out to nurse, resolving to
adopt me as his own, since I was a _comeby_-chance, and since he
thought it cruel not to give the same reception to a human creature,
as is given commonly to a Cat or a Dog, and tho’ I did not come of
my own accord, like a Cat, or a Dog, yet was I brought, and could
not be supposed to intrude myself, as those creatures do, when they
have lost their masters, so he thought me more worthy of a welcome,
than either of the above animals. When I was five years old, I was
brought home by the nurse, and as they saw I was a promising child
of my age, being as lusty and tall, as the waiter, who was twelve,
but born a dwarf, I was soon fit to be called to the bar, I improved
myself in observations on men, and manners, which I made my study,
till about eighteen, I became one of the knowing ones, when I left
my supposed father, to join a set of gamblers, where I learnt every
thing to qualify me for Bath, the races, or even Ar——r’s. I resolved
to leave this life, took the high-road, and bought a fine horse at
Newmarket with what money I had won there by betting and cheating,
having at one bett won a hundred guineas of the D—— of ——, as I was
let into the secret by the riding jocky, who went halves with me for
his information. Having equipt myself with every thing necessary for
_collecting_, or raising contributions on the road, I met with none
who dared oppose me; I robbed three captains of ships, one admiral,
two lieutenants of marines, beside what I robbed in common; when
I found that all men were naturally cowards, and consequently to
be robbed, without resistance, I grew more bold; but what gave me
courage but their cowardice, for had they, as they said, strenuously
opposed, ’tis ten to one, as I opposed numbers, I should have
grown timid, and submitted; but I found it otherwise, and from the
discovery, met with success; I then ventured upon the continental
gentlemen; but them I found worse in the article of courage, than the
maritime; a lieutenant crossed me, and I thought verily, he had the
same intent on me, that I had on him; I put my hand to the holsters,
and stood bravely for him, but he with as much intrepidity delivered
me his purse, before I had actually demanded it: Actuated by this
hero’s valour, I persuaded myself that all men were cowards, and, I
consequently determined to _frighten_ them all, since I found, they
were to be _frightened_. Here the narrative was interrupted by a loud
report of six or seven female Voices, that Mrs. _Clotilda Skinflint_,
together with her _Bravo_, the old husband had entered the goal,
to demand the body of Tom, to be re-delivered to them, upon which
re-delivery, she was willing to pay all costs and damages, which
by this time amounted to no less than three shillings, exclusive
of garnish. And so ends this chapter, when the affairs of _Tom the
Cat_, shall seem more desirable by the reader, than those of _Tom the
Traveller_.