We've jist bin and had sitch a Pannick in the City as we ain't not had
since the prowd and orty Portogeese threttened to stop any more old
Port from leaving of their shores, unless we guv 'em up ever so much
of the hinside of Afrikey. Ah, that was a pannick that was, and all
us Waiters felt it severially, but her Majesty's Guvernment, seeing at
wunce the sollem natur of the threat, made such terrems as settled the
hole affair, and Port went down as ushal.
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Well that was bad enuff in all conshense, but it was nothink to what
we has all bin threttened with, from the Lord MARE on his throne of
power to the umblest waiter of his royal estaberlishmunt. I herd ony
last week from the Gildall Beedle, so it must be trew, that ever so
many of what's called Comishunners of Suers had cum a tearing down
stairs from their place up above, a cussin and a swearin like mad,
becoz the Kumpany as was a jest beginnin for to lite up our streets
with Lectrissity. had writtin for to say as they coodn't get it dun
for more nor another year. Well that was bad enutf for them as likes
that tell-tail lite, "but wuss remanes behind," as the Pote says; and
I reelly ardly xpecs to be beleeved when I says, as they threttened
not to lite up the onered Manshun Ouse to the werry last! and as the
gas has all a bin taken away, there wooden have been not no lites, and
consequently not no Dinner in that grand Ome of Horspitallerty, not
for twelve long weary hungry munse!
The shudder as run thro Gildhall when this was fust menshund, the
Beedel tells me, was sumthink quite orful, and the langwidge used,
ewen by anshant Deppertys, sumthink not to remember, but sumthink to
forget as soon as posserbel.
However, a gentle reminder from them as could do what they threttind,
whether it was six months' hard, or suppenshun from wun of their own
tall, red lamp postesses, brort them all to their sewen senses, and
everythink is to be reddy for the fust State Bankwet at the reglar
hour on the reglar day; and so the dedly wroth of the grand old
Copperashun is apeezed, and there is no longer enny tork of a mighty
band of hindignent Welshers a marching up to Town to awenge the dedly
hinsult with which their poplar Monnark was threttined!
Wun of our werry cleverest Depputys said to me.--"Ah, Mr. ROBERT, if
our ennemys had reelly xtinguished all our light, I shoud indeed have
said, with the Pote, _Habsent Homen!_"
I didn't kno a bit what he meant, but I rayther think it were sumthink
seesonnabel about Ome sweet Ome, or about the likker "habsinth," wich
I don't hold with. But I quite agreed with him.