Eulalia. How many monethes old is it.
Xantip. It lacketh lytle of. vii.
Eula What a tale is this, ye reken the monethes by nightes and
dayes double.
Xantippa. Not so.
Eula. It can not be none other wyse, yf ye reken from the mariage
day.
xantippa. yea, but what thē, I spake with him before we were
maried.
Eulalia. Be children gotten by speakinge.
xantip. It befell so that he mette me alone and begon to ticke at
me, and tickled me vnder the arme holes and sydes to make me laugh. I
might not awaie with ticklynge, but fell downe backewarde vpon a bedde and
he a lofte, neuer leuinge kyssynge on me, what he did els I can not saye,
but by sayncte Marie within a while after my bely beganne to swell.
Eula. Go now and disprayse thine husbāde whiche yf he gette
children by playe, what wyll he do whē he goeth to it in good ernest.
xantippa, I fere me I am payed agayin.
Eula. Good locke God hath sent a fruitfull grounde, a good tylmā.
Xantip. In that thing he might haue lesse laboure and more thanke.
Eula. Few wyues finde at theyr husbandes in that behalf but were ye
thē sure togither.
xanti. yea that we were
Eula. The offence is the lesse. Is it a man chylde.
xantip. yea.
Eula. He shal make you at one so that ye wil bow & forbere.
What saieth other mē by thin husband, they that be his cōpanions,
they delite with him abrode
xā, They say that he is meruelous gentyl, redy to do euery man
pleasure, liberal and sure to his frende.
Eula. And that putteth me in good cōfort that he wyll be ruled
after our counsayll.
xantip. But I fynde him not so.
Eula. Order thy selfe to him as I haue tolde thee, and cal me no
more true sayer but a lier, if he be not so good vnto the as to anie
creature liuinge Again cōsidre this he is yet but a childe, I thinke
he passethe not. xxiiij. the blacke oxe neuer trode on hys fote, nowe it
is but loste laboure to recken vpon anye deuorse.
xantippa. Yet manye a tyme and ofte I haue troubled my braynes
withal
Eulalia. As for that fantasye whensoeuer it commeth into your mynd
first of all counte how naked a thynge woman is, deuorsed from man. It is
the hyghest dignitie that longethe to the wyfe to obsequyous vnto her
spouse. So hath natyre ordeined so god hath appoynted, that the woman
shoulde be ruled al by the man loke onely vppon this whiche is trouth,
thine husbande he is, other canste thou none haue. Againe forgette not
that swete babe be gotten of both your bodies what thin beste thou to do
with that, wilte thou take it awaye with thee? Thou shalte bereue thyne
husband his ryght wylt thou leue it with hym? thou shalt spoile thy self
of thy chefeste Jewell thou haste. Beside all this tell me trueth hast
thou none euyll wyllers, Besyde all thys tell me trueth, hast thou none
euyll wyllers.
xan. I haue a stepdame I warrant you, and myne husbandes mother
euen such another.
Eula. Do they hate the so deadly.
xantip. They woulde se me hanged.
Eula. Thē forget not thē what greater plesure couldest
thou shew them then to se the deuorsed from thine husband and to led a
wydowes lyfe. Yea and worse thē a wydow, for wydowes be at their
choise.
xantippa. I holde well with youre coūsell, but I can not awaye
with the paynes.
Eulalia. yet recken what paines ye toke or ye colde teache your
paret to speake.
xantippa. Exceadynge much.
Eu. And thinke you much to labour a lytel in reforming your husbād
with whō you may liue merely all the dayes of your lyfe. What busines
doe mē put thē self to be wel & easly horsed & shal we
think our selues to good to take paines that we mai haue our husbādes
gētil & curteise vnto vs.
xantip. What shal I do.
Eu. I haue told you al redy, se that al thing be clene & trim
at home, that no sluttysh or vnclenlye syghtes dryue hym oute a dores. Be
your selfe alwayes redy at a becke, berynge continuali in minde what reuerēce
the wife oweth vnto her husbād. Be neyther in your dūpes, nor
alwayes on your mery pinnes go nether to homely nor to nycely. Let your
meat be cleane dressed, you know yourhusbādes diet. What he loueth
best that dresse. Moreouer shewe your selfe louinge and fayre spokē
vnto thē where he loueth, call them now and thē vnto your table.
At meate, se that al thinges be well sauored, and make good there, And whē
that he is toppe heuy playing on his lute, sytte thou by and singe to him
so shalte thou make hym keepe home, and lessen hys expences This shall he
thynke at length, in faythe I am a fonde felowe that maketh suche chere
with a strumpet abroode with greate lossee bothe of substance and name,
seyng that I haue a wyfe at home bothe muche fayrer, and one that loueth
me ten times better, with whome I may be both clenlyer receiued and
dayntelier cherisshed
xantip. Beleuest thou that it will take and I put it into a profe.
Eulali. Looke on me. I warrante it or ought longe I wyll in hande
with thyne husbande, & I will tell hym his part.
xantippa. ye marie that is well sayde. But be wyse that he espie
not our casle, he would plaie his fages, all the house should be to lytle
for hym.
Eulalia. Take no thoughte. I shall so conuey my matters, that he
shall dysclose all together hym selfe, what busynesse is betwene you, that
done I wyll handell him pretelie as I thinke beste, and I truste to make
him a new man for the and when I se my time I wyl make a lie for thee, how
louinge thou hast spoken of him.
xantippa. Chryst spede vs and bringe our pupose well aboute.
Eulalia. He will not fayle the so thou do thy good wyll.
There was a man that maried a woman whiche hadde great riches and beawtye.
Howe bee it she hadde suche an impedyment of nature that she was domme and
coulde not speake, whiche thynge made him ryghte pensyfe, and sayd,
wherfore vpon a daye as he walked alone ryght heuye in hearte thynkynge
vpon his wyfe. There came one to hym and asked him what was the cause of
his heuynesse whiche answered that it was onely bycause his wife was borne
dōme. To whome this other said I shal shewe the soone a remedy and a
medicyne (therfore that is thus) go tak an aspen leafe and lay it vnder
her tōge this night shee beinge a sleape, and I warrant the that shee
shall speake on the morowe whiche man beyng glad of thys medycyne prepared
therfore and gathered aspen leaues, wherfore he layd thre of them vnder
her tonge whan shee was a sleape. And on the morow when he him selfe
awaked he Desyrous to know how hys medicine wrought being in bed with her,
he demaunded of her how she did, and sodēly she answered and sayd, I
beshrewe thy harte for waking me so early, and so by the vertue of that
medycyne she was restored to her speche. But in cōclusion her spech
encresed day by day and she was so curst of cōdycyon that euery daie
she brauled and chyd with her husbande, so muche at the laste he was more
weped, and had much more trouble and disease wyth her shrewed wordes then
he hadde before whē she was dumme, wherfore as he walked another time
alone he happened to mete agayne with the same personne that taught hym
the sayde medycine and sayde to hym thys wyse. Syr ye taught me a medicin
but late to make my domme wyfe to speake, byddynge me lay an aspen leafe
vnder her toūg when she sleapte, and I layde three Aspen leaves
there. Wherfore nowe she speaketh. But yet she speaketh soo much & so
shrewdlye that I am more werier of her now, then I was when she was dōme:
Wherfore I praie you teache me a medycine to modyfye her that she speake
not so muche. This other answered and sayd thus. Sir I am a deuyl of hel
but I am one of thē that haue least power there. Al be yet I haue
power to make a womā to speake, but and yf a woman begin ones to
speake, I nor al the deuyls in hel that haue the mooste power be not able
to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leue speakyng.
The end of this pleasant dialogue declaryng the seueral properties of ye
two contrary disposers of the wyues aforesayde.
Imprinted at London in Paules
church yearde, at the sygne of
the
Sunne, by Antony
Kytson.
[This section produced by David Widger]
A mery Dialogue, declaringe the propertyes of shrowde shrewes, and
honest wyues, not onelie verie pleasaunte, but also not a lytle
profitable: made by ye famous clerke D. Erasmus. Roterodamus.
Translated into Englyshe.
A mery Dia-
logue, declaringe the propertyes
of shrowde shrewes,
and ho-
nest wyues, not onelie verie
pleasaunte, but also not a
lytle profitable: made
by ye famous clerke
D. Erasmus.
Roteroda-
mus.
Translated into
Englyshe.
Anno. M.CCCCC.
LVII.