Eulalia. Thus was I well ware on, that I neuer tell my husbād
his fautes before companie, nor I neuer caried any cōplaynte furthe a
dores: the mendes is soner made whē none knoweth it but two, and
there were anie suche faute that myght not be wel borne nor amēded by
ye wyues tellige, it is more laudable that the wife make
complaynte vnto the Parentes and kynsfolke of her husband, then vnto her
own, and so to moderate her complaynte that she seme not to hate hym but
hys vice nor let her play all the blabbe, that in some poynt vnutered, he
may know & loue his wiues curteysy.
Xantip. She had nede be aswellerned womā, that would do all
this.
Eu. Mary through suche demeanoure, we shall sterre our husbādes
vnto lyke gentylnesse.
Xan: There be some that cannot be amended with all the gentyll
handlynge in the worlde.
Eula: In faith I thyncke nay, but case there be, marke this wel the
good man must be for borne, howe soeuer the game goeth, then is it better
to haue him alwayes at one point or ells more kinde and louing throw oure
gentill handlinge, then to haue him worse and worse throwe our
cursednesse, what wyll you say and I tell you of husbādes that hath
won theyr wiues by suche curtesie, howe muche more are we boūde to
use the same towarde our husbandes.
Xantip. Than shall you tell of one farre vnlyke vnto thyne husband.
Eula. I am aquented with a certayne gentelman well lerned and a
veri honest man, he maried a yonge wyfe, a mayden of. xvii. yeare olde
brede and brought vp of a chylde in the countre vnder her fathers and
mother wing (as gentilmen delite to dwel in the countre) to hunt &
hawke This yong gētilman would haue one that were unbrokē,
because he might the soner breake her after hys owne mind, he begā to
entre her in learning syngynge, and playinge, and by lytle and lytle to
vse here to repete suche thynges as she harde at sermons, and to instruct
her with other things that myght haue doone her more good in time to come.
This gere, because it was straūge vnto this young womā which at
home was brought vp in all ydelnesse, and with the light communication of
her fathers seruantes, and other pastimes, begā to waxe greuouse
& paynfull, vnto her. She withdrew her good mynde and dylygence and whē
her husband called vpon her she put ye finger in the eye, and
wepte and many times she would fal downe on the grounde, beatynge her head
agaynst the floure, as one that woulde be out of thys worlde. When there
was no healpe for this gere, the good man as though he hadde bene wel
asked his wyfe yf she woulde ryde into the countre with him a sporting
vnto her fathers house, so that she graunted anone. When they were cōmē
thyther, the gentilman left his wyfe with her mother & her sisters he
wēt furth an huntynge with his father in lawe, there betwene theym
two, he shewed al together, how that he hadde hoped to haue had a louynge
companion to lead his lyfe withall, now he hath one that is alwaies
blubberynge and pyninge her selfe awaye withoute anye remedie, he prayeth
him to lay to hys hande in amendinge his doughters fautes her father
answered yt he had ones giuen hym his doughter, and yf that she
woulde not be rewled by wordes (a goddes name take Stafforde lawe) she was
his owne. Then the gētylman sayd agayne, I know that I may do but I
had leuer haue her amēded eyther by youre good counsell or
commaundement, then to come vnto that extreme waies, her father promised
that he would fynde a remedye. After a dai or two, he espied time and
place whē he might be alone with his doughter. Then he loked soureli
vpō his doughter, as though he had bene horne woode with her, he
began to reherse how foule a beaste she was, how he feared many tymes that
she neuer haue bestowed her. And yet sayde he much a doe, vnto my great
coste and charg, I haue gottē the one that moughte lye by any Ladyes
syde, and she were a quene and yet thou not perceiuying what I haue done
for the nor knowynge that thou hast suche a man whiche but of his goodnes
myghte thynke thee to euill to be stoye in his kytchen, thou contrariest
al his mind to make a short tale he spake so sharpely to her, that she
feared that he wold haue beaten her. It is a man of asubtyll and wylye
wytte, whyche wythout a vysarde is ready to playe anye maner of parte. Thē
this yonge wife what for feare, and for trouthe of the matter, cleane
stryken oute of countenaunce, fell downe at her fathers fete desyryng hym
that he wolde forgette and forgiue her all that was past and euer after
she woulde doe her duetye Her father forgaue her, and promised that she
shoulde finde him a kynd and a louynge father, yf so be that she
perfourmed her promyse.
xantippa. How dyd she afterwarde?
Eulalya, whē she was departed frō her father she came
backe into a chaumber, and there by chaunce found her husband alone she
fel on her knees to hym and said. Mā in tymes paste, I neyther knewe
you nor my selfe, from this daye froward ye shall se me cleane chaunged,
onelye pardon that is past, with that her husbande toke her in his armes
& kyssed her sayinge she should lacke nothyng yf she woulde holde her
in that mind.
xantip. Why did she cōtinue so.
Eulalya. Euen tyll her endynge daye, nor there was none so vyle a
thynge but that she woulde laye handes on it redely with all her herte, if
her husband wolde let her, so great loue was begō and assured betwene
them and many a daye after, shee thanked god yt euer she met
with such a mā. For yf she had not she sayd she had ben cleane caste
awaye.
xan. We haue as greate plentie of suche housbandes, as of white
crowes.
Eulalya. Now, but for werieng you? I coulde tell you a thynge that
chaunced a late in this same citye.
xantyppa. I haue litell to doe, and I lyke your communicacyon very
well.
Eulalia. There was a certaine gentilmā he as suche sort of men
do, vsed much huntyng in the cuntre, where he happened on a younge
damoysell, a very pore womās child on whō he doted a man well
stryken in age, and for her sake he lay oftē out of his owne house
his excuse was hūtîg. This mās wife an exceding honest womā,
halfe deale suspecte the mater, tried out her husbandes falshed, on a tyme
whē he had taken his iourney fourth of the town vnto some other
waies, she wente vnto that poore cotage and boulted out all the hoole
matter, where he laye on nights, wheron he drāke, what thyng thei had
to welcō him withall. There was neither one thyng nor other, but bare
walles. This good womā returned home, and sone after came againe
brynginge wt her a good soft bed, and al therto belongyng and
certain plate besydes that she gaue them moneye, chargynge them that if
the Gentilmā came agayne, they shold entreate him better not beyng
knowē al this while that she was his wyfe, but fayued her to be her
sister. Not long after her husband stale thether againe, he sawe the howse
otherwyse decked, and better fare then he was wounte to haue. He asked,
frome whence commeth al this goodly gere? They sayde that an honeste
matrone, a kynsewoman of hys hadde broughte it thyther and commaunded
thenm that he should be well cherished when so euer he came, by and by his
hart gaue him that it was hys wiues dede, whan he came home he demaūded
of her yf she hadde bene there or nay, she sayd yea. Then he asked her for
what purpose she sente all that housholde stuffe thyther. Man (said she)
ye haue bē tenderly brought vp. I perceiued that ye were but corslie
handled there, me thought that it was my part, seing it was your wyll and
pleasure to be there ye shoulde be better loked to.
Xantippa. She was one of goddes fooles. I woulde rather for a bed
haue layd vnder him a bundel of nettels: or a burden of thistels.
Eula. But here the end her husbande perceyuyng the honeste of her
great pacience neuer after laye from her, but made good cheare at home
with his owne. I am sure ye knowe Gilberte the holāder.
Xan. Very well.
Eu. He (as it is not vnknowē maried an old wife in his florishîg
youth.
Xā. Per aduēture he maried the good and notthe woman.
Eulalia. There sayde ye well, setting lytell stoore by hys olde
wife, hunted a callette, with whom he kept much companie abrode, he dined
or supped litell at home. What wouldest thou haue sayd to ye
gere.
Xantip. What woulde I a said? I wolde haue flowē to the hores
toppe and I wolde haue crowned myne husbande at hys oute goinge to her
with a pysbowle,that he so ēbawlmed might haue gon vnto his souerayne
ladie.
Eula. But how much wiselier dyd this woman? She desyred that yonge
woman home vnto her, and made her good chere, so by that meanes she
brought home also her husband without ani witchraft or sorserie, and yf
that at anye season he supped abrode with her she would sende vnto them
some good dayntie morsel, and byd him make good chere
Xantippa. I had leuer be slayne then I woulde be bawde vnto myne
owne husbande.
Eulalia. Yea, but consyder all thynges well, was not that muche
better, then she shoulde be her shrewyshnesse, haue putte her husbandes
minde cleane of from her, and so haue ledde all her life in trouble and
heuynesse.
Xantippa. I graunte you well, that it was better so but I coulde
not abyde it.
Eulalya. I wyll tell you a prety story more, and so make an ende
One of oure neyghboures, a well disposed and a goddes man, but that he is
some what testie, on a day pomeld his wife well and thriftely aboute the
pate and so good a woman as euer was borne, she picked her into an inner
parler, and there weepynge and sobbynge, eased her heuye harte, anone
after, by chaunce her husbande came into the same place, and founde hys
wyfe wepyng. What sitest thou heare sayth he seighing & sobbîg
like a child Thē she like a wise woman sayde. Is it not more honesty
for me to lamente my dolours here in a secret place, thē to make
wondering and on oute crye in the strete, as other womē do. At so
wyfely and womanly a saing his hart melted, promysynge her faythfullye and
truelie that he woulde neuer laye stroke on her afterwarde, nor neuer did.
Xantippa. No more wil mine god thanke my selfe.
Eulalya. But then ye are alwaies one at a nother, agreinge lyke
dogges and cattes.
Xan. What wouldest thou that I should do?
Eu. Fyrst & formest, whatsoeuer thy husbande doeth sayde thou
nothinge, for his harte must be wonne by lytell and litel by fayre meanes,
gentilnesse and forbearing at the last thou shalte eyther wynne him or at
the least waie thou shalt leade a better life thē thou doest now.
Xantippa. He his beyonde goddes forbode, he wil neuer amende.
Eulalia. Eye saye not so, there is no beest so wild but by fayre
handling be tamed, neuer mistrust man thē. Assay a moneth or two,
blame me and thou findest not that my counsell dooeth ease. There be some
fautes wyth you thoughe thou se them, be wyse of this especyall that thou
neuer gyue hym foule wordes in the chambre, or inbed but be sure that all
thynges there bee full of pastyme and pleasure. For yf that place which is
ordeined to make amēdes for all fautes and so to renew loue, be
polluted, eyther with strife or grugynges, then fayre wel al hope of loue
daies, or atonementes, yet there be some beastes so wayward and
mischeuous, that when theyr husbandes hath them in their arms a bed, they
scholde & chyde making yt same plesure their lewd
condicions (that expelseth all displeasures oute of their husbandes mynde
unpleasaunt and lytell set bi corrupting the medecine that shuld haue
cured al deadly greifes, & odible offēces.
xantip. That is no newes to me.
Eula. Though the woman shulde be well ware and wyse that she shulde
neuer be disobedient vnto her husbād yet she ought to be most circūspect
that at meting she shew her selfe redy and pleasaunt unto him.
xantyppa. Yea vnto a man, holde well withall but I am combred with
a beast.
Eula. No more of those wordes, most commonly our husbādes ar
euyll through our owne faute, but to returne againe vnto our taile they
that ar sene in the olde fables of Poetes sai that Venus whome they make
chiefe lady of wedlocke (hath a girdle made by the handy worke of Vulcan
her Lorde, and in that is thrust al that enforceth love and with that she
girdeth her whan so ever she lyeth wyth her housbande
xantippa. A tale of a tubbe.
Eulalya. A tayle it is, but herkē what the taile meaneth.
xantippa. Tell me.
Eulalia That techeth us that the wyfe ought to dyspose her selfe
all the she maye that lieng by her husbād she shew him al the plesure
that she cā; Wherby the honest love of matrimony may reuiue and be
renewed, & that there with be clene dispatched al grudges & malice
xant. But how shall we come by the thys gyrdle?
Eula. We nede neyther wytchraft nor enchauntment, ther is non of
them al, so sure as honest condiciōs accompayned with good feloshyp.
xan. I can not fauoure suche an husbande as myne is.
Eula, It is moste thy profyt that he be no longer suche. If thou
couldest by thy Circes craft chaunge thin husband into an hogge, or a bore
wouldest thou do it?
xantip. God knoweth.
Eu. Art thou in dout? haddest thou leauer marye an hogge than a mā.
Xantip. Mary I had leauer haue a manne.
Eulalia. wel, what and thou coudest by sorcery make him of a drōkarde
a soober man, of a vnthrifte a good housbande of an ydell losell a towarde
body, woldest thou not doe it?
xantip. yes, hardely, woulde I doe it. But where shoulde I learne
the cunnyng?
Eula. For soth that cōning hast thou in the if thou wouldest
vtter it, thyn must he be, mauger thy head, the towarde ye
makest him, the better it is for the, thou lokest on nothing but on his
leude cōdicions, and thei make the half mad, thou wouldest amende hym
and thou puttest hym farther oute of frame, loke rather on his good
condicions, and so shalt thou make him better. It is to late calagayne
yesterdaie before thou were maryed unto hym. It was tyme to cōsyder
what his fautes were for a women shold not only take her husbande by the
eyes but by the eares. Now it is more tyme to redresse fautes thē to
fynd fautes.
xantt. What woman euer toke her gusband by the eares.
Eulali. She taketh her husbande by the eyes that loketh on nothyng,
but on the beautye and pulcritude of the body. She taketh him by the
eares, that harkeneth diligētly what the common voice sayth by him
xantip. Thy counsaile is good, but it commeth a day after the
faire.
Eula. Yet it commeth time ynough to bringe thyne husbande to a
greate furtheraunce to that shall bee yf God sende you anie frute
togither.
xantippa. We are spede alredy of that.
Eulaly. How long ago.