I applied myself so assiduously to the art, that, with the unreserved
communications of Madame Gironac, I became a proficient, and could equal
her own performances--Madame Gironac declared that I excelled her,
because I had more taste--but to return.
After I had parted with Madame Gironac, I went upstairs, and found Lady
R--sitting at the table, looking at the purchases she had made.
"My dear Valerie," cried she, "you don't know how you have obliged me by
introducing that little woman and her flowers. What a delightful and
elegant employment for a heroine to undertake--so lady-like! I have
determined that mine shall support herself by imitating flowers in wax.
I am just at the point of placing her in embarrassed circumstances, and
did not well know how she was to gain her livelihood, but, thanks to
you, that is selected, and in a most charming and satisfactory manner.
It is so hard to associate poverty with clean hands."
About a fortnight afterwards, after some other conversation, Lady R--
said, "My dear Valerie, I have a surprise for you. The season is nearly
over, and, what is more important, my third volume will be complete in a
fortnight. Last night as I was wooing Somnus in vain, an idea came into
my head. I proposed going to pass the autumn at Brighton, as you know,
but last night I made up my mind that we would go over the water; but
whether it is to be Havre, or Dieppe, or Paris, or anywhere else I
cannot say, but certainly La Belle France. How do you like the idea? I
think of making a sort of sentimental journey. We will seek adventures.
Shall we go like Rosamond and Celia? I with `gallant curtal axe,'
dressed as a youth. Shall we be mad, Valerie? What say you?"
I hardly knew what to say. Lady R--appeared to have a most unusual
freak in her head, and to be a little more odd than usual. Now I had no
wish to go to France, as I might fall in with people whom I did not wish
to see; and moreover, from what I had heard of her ladyship's adventures
in Italy, I was convinced that she was one of many, I may say, who fancy
that they may do as they please out of their own country, and I
certainly did not wish to figure in her train; I therefore replied, "I
know my own country well, Lady R--, and there cannot be a less eligible
one for a masquerade. We should meet with too many _desagremens_, if
unprotected by male society, and our journey would be anything but
sentimental. But if you do go to France, does Lionel accompany you?"
"Well, I do not know, but I should like him to learn the language. I
think I shall take him. He is a clever boy."
"Very," replied I; "where did you pick him up?"
"He is a son of my late father's"--(`a son of--' exclaimed I)--"tenant,
or something I was going to say," continued Lady R--, colouring; "but I
could not recollect exactly what the man was. Bailiff, I think. I know
nothing about his father, but he was recommended to me by Sir Richard
before he died."
"Recommended as a servant?" replied I; "he appears to me to be too good
for so menial a position."
"I have made him above his position, Valerie; not that he was
recommended as a servant, but recommended to my care. Perhaps some day
I may be able to do more for him. You know that we are to go to Lady
G--'s ball to-night. It will be a very brilliant affair. She gives but
one during the season, and she always does the thing in good style.
Bless me, how late it is! The carriage will be round in two minutes;
I've a round of visits to pay."
"Will you excuse me? I have promised to take a lesson of Madame
Gironac."
"Very true; then I must enter upon my melancholy task alone. What can
be so absurd as a rational and immortal soul going about distributing
pasteboard!"
We went to Lady G--'s ball, which was very splendid. I had been
dancing, for although I was not considered probably good enough among
the young aristocrats to be made a partner for life, as a partner in a
waltz or quadrille I was rather in request, for the odium of governess
had not yet been attached to my name, having never figured in that
capacity in the metropolis, where I was unknown. I had but a short time
taken my seat by Lady R--, when the latter sprang off in a great hurry,
after what I could not tell, and her place was immediately occupied by a
lady, who I immediately recognised as a Lady M--, who had, with her
daughters, composed a portion of the company at Madame Bathurst's
country seat.
"Have you forgotten me, Mademoiselle de Chatenoeuf?" said Lady M--,
extending her hand.
"No, my lady, I am glad to see you looking so well. I hope your
daughters are also quite well?"
"Thank you; they look very well in the evening, but rather pale in the
morning. It is a terrible thing a London season, very trying to the
constitution, but what can we do? We must be out and be seen
everywhere, or we lose caste--so many balls and parties every night.
The fact is, that if girls are not married during the three first
seasons after they come out, their chance is almost hopeless, for all
the freshness and charm of youth, which are so appetising to the other
sex, are almost gone. No constitution can withstand the fatigue. I've
often compared our young ladies to the carriage horses--they are both
worked to death during the season, and then turned out to grass in the
country to recover themselves, and come up fresh for the next winter.
It really is a horrible life, but girls must be got off. I wish mine
were, for what with fatigue and anxiety I'm worn to a shadow. Come,
Mademoiselle de Chatenoeuf, let us go into the next room. It is cooler,
and we shall be more quiet; take my arm: perhaps we shall meet the
girls."
I accepted her ladyship's invitation, and we went into the next room,
and took a seat upon a sofa in a recess.
"Here we can talk without being overheard," said Lady M--; "and now, my
dear young lady, I know that you have left Madame Bathurst, but why I do
not know. Is it a secret?"
"No, my lady; when Caroline went away I was of no further use, and
therefore I did not wish to remain. You may perhaps know that I went to
Madame Bathurst's on a visit, and that an unforeseen change of
circumstances induced me to remain for some time as instructress to her
niece."
"I heard something of that sort, a kind of friendly arrangement, at
which Madame Bathurst had good cause to be content. I'm sure I should
have been, had I been so fortunate; and now you are residing with Lady
R--, may I inquire, without presuming too much, in what capacity you are
with Lady R--."
"I went there as an amanuensis, but I have never written a line. Lady
R--is pleased to consider me as a companion, and I must say that she has
behaved to me with great kindness and consideration."
"I have no doubt of it," replied Lady M--; "but still it appears to me
(excuse the liberty I take, or ascribe it to a feeling of good-will),
that your position with Lady R--is not quite what those who have an
interest in you would wish. Everyone knows how odd she is, to say the
least of it, and you may not be perhaps aware, that occasionally her
tongue outruns her discretion. In your presence she of course is on her
guard, for she is really good-natured, and would not willingly offend
anyone or hurt their feelings, but when led away by her desire to shine
in company, she is very indiscreet. I have been told that at Mrs W--'s
dinner-party the other day, to which you were not invited, on your name
being brought up, she called you her charming model, I think was the
phrase; and on an explanation being demanded of the term, she said you
stood for her heroines, putting yourself in postures and positions while
she drew from nature, as she termed it; and that, moreover, on being
complimented on the idea, and some of the young men offering, or rather
intimating, that they would be delighted to stand or kneel at your feet,
as the hero of the tale, she replied that she had no occasion for their
services, as she had a page or footman, I forget which, who did that
portion of the work. Surely this cannot be true, my dear Mademoiselle
de Chatenoeuf?"
Oh! how my blood boiled when I heard this.
How far it was true, the reader already knows; but the manner in which
it was conveyed by Lady M--, quite horrified me. I coloured up to the
temples, and replied, "Lady M--, that Lady R--has very often, when I
have been sitting, and she has been writing, told me that she was taking
me as a model for her heroine, is very true, but I have considered it as
a mere whim of hers, knowing how very eccentric she is. I little
thought from my having good-naturedly yielded to her caprice, that I
should have been so mortified as I have been by what you have
communicated to me. That she must have been indiscreet, is certain, for
it was known only to herself and me."
"And the footman."
"Footman, my lady? There is a boy--a sort of page there."
"Exactly; a lad of fifteen or sixteen, a precocious, pert boy, who is
much indulged by Lady R--, and, if report says true, is nearer related
to her than she is willing to acknowledge. Did you never observe that
there is a strong likeness?"
"Good heavens, my lady, you surprise me."
"And, I fear, have also annoyed you; but," continued Lady M--, laying
her hand on mine, "I thought it kinder to let you know your peculiar
position than to sneer and ridicule, as others do, behind your back.
This is a sad world in one respect; if there is any scandal or false
report spread against us, it is known to everyone but ourselves. We
cannot find, but rarely, a friend who is so really our friend as to tell
us of it. The poison is allowed to circulate without the power being
given to us of applying an antidote--so hollow is friendship in this
world. My dear mademoiselle, I have done otherwise; whether you thank
me for it or not, I cannot tell; perhaps not, for those who communicate
unpleasant intelligence, are seldom looked kindly upon."
"Lady M--," replied I, "I do thank you most heartily. I do consider
that you have acted a friendly part. That I have been dreadfully
shocked and mortified, I admit," continued I, wiping away the tears that
forced their passage; "but I shall not give an opportunity for future
unjust insinuations or remarks, as I have made up my mind that I shall
leave Lady R--as soon as possible."
"My dear mademoiselle, I did not venture to make you acquainted with
what I knew would, to a person of your sensitive mind, be the cause of
your quitting the protection of Lady R--without having considered
whether an equivalent could not be offered to you; and I am happy to say
that I can offer you a home, and I trust comfort and consideration, if
you will accept of them. The fact is, that had I known that you had any
idea of quitting Madame Bathurst, I should have made the offer then--now
I do so with all sincerity;--but at present you are agitated and
annoyed, and I will say no more. If I send the carriage for you
to-morrow at two o'clock, will you do me the favour to come and see me?
I would call upon you, but of course the presence of Lady R--would be a
check to our free converse. Say, my dear, will you come?"
I replied in the affirmative, and Lady M--then rose, and giving me her
arm, we walked back to the bench which I had left, where I found Lady
R--in a hot dispute with a member of Parliament. I sat down by her
unnoticed, and Lady M--having smiled an adieu, I was left to my own
reflections, which were anything but agreeable. My head ached
dreadfully, and I looked so ill that Lady R--'s warm antagonist
perceived it, and pointed it out to her, saying, "Your _protegee_ is not
well, I fear, Lady R--."
I replied to Lady R--, "that I had a violent headache, and wished to get
home if it were possible."
She immediately consented, and showed great concern. As soon as we were
home, I need hardly say, that I hastened to my room.
I sat down and pressed my forehead with my hands: my knowledge of the
world was increasing too fast. I began to hate it--hate men, and women
even more than men. What lessons had I learnt within the last year.
First Madame d'Albret, then Madame Bathurst, and now Lady R--. Was
there no such thing as friendship in the world--no such thing as
generosity? In my excited state it appeared to me that there was not.
All was false and hollow. Self was the idol of mankind, and all
worshipped at its altar. After a time I became more composed, I thought
of little Madame Gironac, and the recollection of her disinterested
kindness put me in a better frame of mind. Mortified as I was, I could
not help feeling that it was only the vanity of Lady R--and her desire
to shine, to which I had been made a sacrifice, and that she had no
intention of wounding my feelings. Still, to remain with her after what
had been told to me by Lady M--was impossible.
And then I reflected upon what steps I should take. I did not like to
tell Lady R--the real grounds of my leaving her. I thought it would be
prudent to make some excuse and part good friends. At last it occurred
to me that her intention of going to France would be a good excuse. I
could tell her that I was afraid of meeting my relatives.
Having decided upon this point, I then canvassed the words of Lady M--.
What could she offer me in her house? She had three daughters, but they
were all out, as the phrase is, and their education supposed to be
completed. This was a mystery I could not solve, and I was obliged to
give up thinking about it, and at last I fell asleep. The next moment I
woke up, jaded in mind, and with a bad headache, but I dressed and went
down to breakfast. Lady R--asked after my health, and then said, "I
observed you talking very confidentially with Lady M--. I was not aware
that you knew her. Between ourselves, Valerie, she is one of my
models."
"Indeed," replied I, "I do not think that her ladyship is aware of the
honour conferred upon her."
"Very likely not, but in the last work she was portrayed to the life.
Lady M--is a schemer, always plotting; her great object now is to get
her three daughters well married."
"I believe that most mothers wish that, Lady R--."
"I grant it, and perhaps manoeuvre as much, but with more skill than she
does, for every one sees the game that she is playing, and the
consequence is, that the young men shy off, which they probably would
not if she were quiet, for they are really clever, unaffected, and
natural girls, very obliging, and without any pride; but how came you to
be so intimate with Lady M--?"
"Lady M--and her eldest daughter were staying for some time with Madame
Bathurst in the country when I was there."
"Oh, I understand, that accounts for it."
"I am going to call upon Lady M--, if she sends her carriage for me,"
replied I. "She told me that she would, if she could, at two o'clock.
She has proposed my paying her a visit; I presume it will be after she
leaves town."
"But that you will not be able to do, Valerie; you forget our trip to
France."
"I did not think that you were serious," replied I; "you mentioned it as
the resolution of a night, and I did not know that you might not think
differently upon further consideration."
"Oh no, my resolutions are hastily formed, but not often given up. Go
to Paris we certainly shall."
"If you are determined upon going, Lady R--, I am afraid that I cannot
accompany you."
"Indeed!" exclaimed her ladyship, in surprise. "May I ask why not?"
"Simply because I might meet those I am most anxious to avoid; there is
a portion of my history that you are not acquainted with, Lady R--,
which I will now make known to you."
I then told her as much as I thought necessary relative to my parents,
and stated my determination not to run the risk of meeting them. Lady
R--argued, persuaded, coaxed, and scolded, but it was all in vain; at
last she became seriously angry, and left the room. Lionel soon
afterwards made his appearance, and said to me, in his usual familiar
way, "What's the matter, Miss Valerie? The governess is in a rage about
something; she gave me a box on the ear."
"I suppose you deserved it, Lionel," replied I.
"Well, there may be differences of opinion about that," replied the boy.
"She went on scolding me at such a rate that I was quite astonished,
and all about nothing. She blew up cook--didn't she--blew her half up
the chimney--and then she was at me again. At last I could bear it no
longer, and I said, `Don't flare up, my lady.'"
"`Don't my lady me,' cried she, `or I'll box your ears.'"
"Well, then, as she is always angry if you call her my lady, I thought
she was angry with me for the same reason, so I said, `Sempronia, keep
your temper,'--and didn't I get a box on the ear."
I could not help laughing at this recital of his cool impudence, the
more so as he narrated it with such an air of injured innocence.
"Indeed, Lionel," said I at last, "you well deserved the box on the ear.
If you ever quit the service of Lady R--, you will find that you must
behave with proper respect to those above you; if not, you will not
remain an hour in any other house. Lady R--is very odd and very
good-tempered, and permits more liberties than any other person would.
I will, however, tell you why Lady R--is displeased. It is because she
wishes me to go to France with her and I have refused."
"Then you are going to leave us?" inquired Lionel, mournfully.
"I suppose so," replied I.
"Then I shall go, too," said the boy. "I'm tired of it."
"But why should you go, Lionel? You may not find another situation half
so comfortable."
"I shall not seek one. I have only stayed here with the hope that I may
find out from her ladyship who and what my parents were, and she will
not tell me. I shall live by my wits, never fear; `the world's my
oyster,' as Shakespeare says, and I think I've wit enough to open it."
I had not forgotten the observations of Lady M--relative to Lionel, and
what the lad now said made me surmise that there was some mystery, and,
on examination of his countenance, there _was_ a family likeness to Lady
R--. I also called to mind her unwillingness to enter upon the subject
when I brought it up.
"But, Lionel," said I, after a pause, "what is it that makes you suppose
that Lady R--conceals who were your parents--when we last talked on the
subject, you said you had found out something--she told me that your
father was a bailiff, or steward to Sir Richard."
"Which I have proved to be false. She told me that my father was Sir
Richard's butler; that I have also discovered to be false, for one day
the old housekeeper, who called upon me at school, came here, and was
closeted with Lady R--for half-an-hour. When she went away, I called a
hackney-coach for her, and getting behind it, went home with her to her
lodgings. When I found out where she lived, I hastened back immediately
that I might not be missed, intending to have made a call upon her. The
next day Lady R--gave me a letter to put in the twopenny-post; it was
directed to a Mrs Green, to the very house where the hackney-coach had
stopped, so I knew it was for the old housekeeper. Instead of putting
the letter in the post, I kept it till the evening, and then took it
myself.
"`Mrs Green,' said I, for I found her at home with another old woman,
sitting over their tea, `I have brought you a letter from Lady R--.'
This is about a year ago, Miss Valerie.
"`Mercy on me,' said she, `how strange that Lady R--should send you
here.'
"`Not strange that she should send a letter by a servant,' said I, `only
strange that I should be a servant.'
"I said this, Miss Valerie, as a random throw, just to see what answer
she would make.
"`Why, who has been telling you anything?' said she, looking at me
through her spectacles.
"`Ah,' replied I, `that's what I must keep to myself, for I'm under a
promise of secrecy.'
"`Mercy on me, it couldn't be--no, that's impossible,' muttered the old
woman, as she opened the letter and took out a bank-note, which she
crumpled up in her hand. She then commenced reading the letter; I
walked a little way from her, and stood between her and the window.
Every now and then she held the letter up to the candle, and when the
light was strong upon it, I could read a line from where I stood, for I
have been used to her ladyship's writing, as you know. One line I read
was, `remains still at Culverwood Hall;' another was, `the only person
now left in Essex.' I also saw the words `secrecy' and `ignorant' at
the bottom of the page. The old woman finished the letter at last, but
it took her a good while to get through it.
"`Well,' says she, `have you anything more to say?'
"`No,' says I; `you are well paid for your secrecy, Mrs Green.'
"`What do you mean?' said she.
"`Oh, I'm not quite so ignorant as you suppose,' replied I.
"`Ignorant,' said she, confused, `ignorant of what?'
"`When were you last in Essex?' said I.
"`When, why? what's that to you, you impudent boy?'
"`Nay, then, I'll put another question to you. How long is it since you
were at Culverwood Hall?'
"`Culverwood Hall! What do you know about Culverwood Hall? the boy's
mad, I believe; go away, you've done your message; if you don't, I'll
tell her ladyship.'
"`Certainly, Mrs Green,' said I. `I wish you a good-night.'
"I left the room, slamming the door, but not allowing the catch to fall
in, so that I held it a little ajar, and then I heard Mrs Green say to
the other woman,
"`Somebody's been with that boy; I wonder who it can be? He's put me in
such a flurry. Well, these things will out.'
"`Yes, yes, it's like murder,' replied the other; `not that I know what
it's all about, only I see there's a secret--perhaps you'll tell me,
Mrs Green?'
"`All I dare tell you is that there is a secret,' replied Mrs Green,
`and the boy has got an inkling of it somehow or another. I must see my
lady--no, I had better not,' added she; `for she is so queer that she'll
swear that I've told him. Now there's only one besides myself and her
ladyship who knows anything, and I'll swear that he could not have been
with the boy, for he's bedridden. I'm all of a puzzle, and that's the
truth. What a wind there is; why the boy has left the door open. Boys
never shut doors.'
"Mrs Green got up and slammed the door to, and I walked off; and now,
Miss Valerie, that's all that I know of the matter; but why I should be
sent to a good school and wear pepper and salt, and to be taken away to
be made first a page, and now a footman, I can't tell; but you must
acknowledge that there is some mystery, after what I have told you."
"It certainly is strange, Lionel," replied I, "but my advice is that you
remain patiently till you can find it out, which by leaving Lady R--you
are not likely to do."
"I don't know that, Miss Valerie; let me get down to Culverwood Hall,
and I think I would find out something, or my wits were given me to no
purpose. But I hear her ladyship coming upstairs: so good-bye, Miss
Valerie."
And Lionel made a hasty retreat.
Lady R--slowly ascended the stairs, and came into the room. Her
violence had been exhausted, but she looked sullen and moody, and I
could hardly recognise her; for I must do her the justice to say, that I
had never before seen her out of temper. She sat down in her chair, and
I asked her whether I should bring her her writing materials.
"A pretty state I am in to write," replied she, leaning her elbows on
the table, and pressing her hands to her eyes. "You don't know what a
rage I have been in, and how I have been venting it upon innocent
people. I struck that poor boy--shame on me! Alas! I was born with
violent passions, and they have been my curse through life. I had hoped
that years had somewhat subdued them, but they will occasionally master
me. What would I not give to have had your placid temper, Valerie! How
much unhappiness I should have been spared! How much error should I
have avoided! I was going to say, how much crime."
Lady R--was evidently more talking to herself than to me when she said
the last words, and I therefore made no reply. A silence of more than a
quarter of an hour followed, which was broken by Lionel coming in, and
announcing the carriage of Lady M--.
"That woman is the cause of all this," said Lady R--; "I am sure that
she is. Pray do not wait, Valerie. Go and see her. I shall be better
company when you come back."
I made no reply, but left the room, and putting on my bonnet, was driven
to Lady M--'s. She received me with great cordiality, and so did her
daughters, who were in the room; but they were dismissed by their
mother, who then said, "I told you last night, my dear Mademoiselle de
Chatenoeuf, that I wished you to reside with me. You may say in what
capacity, and I acknowledge that I hardly know what answer to give. Not
as governess, certainly, for I consider it an odious position, and one
that I could not offer you; indeed, my girls do not require teaching, as
they have finished their studies; in only one thing you could be of
advantage to them in that respect, which is in music and singing. But I
wish you to come as their companion, as I am convinced that they will
gain much by your so doing. I wish you, therefore, to be considered by
others as a visitor at the house, but at the same time I must insist
that from the advantages my girls will derive from your assisting them
in music and singing, you will accept the same salary per annum which
you have from Lady R--. Do you understand me: I wish you to remain with
me, not as a model after the idea of Lady R--, but as a model for my
girls to take pattern by. I shall leave it to yourself to act as you
please. I am sure my girls like you already, and will like you better.
I do not think that I can say more, except that I trust you will not
refuse my offer."
There was a delicacy and kindness in this proposal on the part of Lady
M--which I felt gratefully; but it appeared to me that after all it was
only an excuse to offer me an asylum without any remuneration on my
part, and I stated my feeling on that point.
"Do not think so," replied Lady M--. "I avoided saying so, because I
would not have you styled a music-mistress; but on that one point alone
you will more than earn your salary, as I will prove to you by showing
you the annual payments to professors for lessons; but you will be of
great value to me in other points, I have no doubt. May I, therefore,
consider it as an _affaire arrangee_?" After a little more
conversation, I acquiesced, and having agreed that I would come as soon
as Lady R--went to the continent, or at all events in three weeks, when
Lady M--quitted London, I took my leave, and was conveyed back to Lady
R--, in the carriage which had been sent for me.
On my return, I found Lady R--seated where I had left her.
"Well," said she, "so you have had your audience; and I have no doubt
but that you were most graciously received. Oh! I know the woman; and
I have been reflecting upon it during your absence, and I have
discovered what she wants you for; but this she has not mentioned, not
even hinted at. She knows better; but when once in her house, you will
submit to it, rather than be again in search of a home."
"I really do not know what you mean, Lady R--," said I.
"Has not Lady M--asked you to come as a visitor, without specifying any
particular employment?"
"No, she has not. She has proposed my staying in the house to give
lessons to her daughters in music, and to be their companion; but there
is nothing stated as to a fixed residence with her."
"Well, Valerie, I know that I am odd; but you will soon find out whether
you have gained by the change."
"Lady R--, I really do not consider you should be so sarcastic or unkind
towards me. I do not like to go to France with you for reasons which I
have fully explained, at the expense of disclosing family affairs, which
I had much rather not have mentioned. You leave me by myself, and I
must seek protection somewhere. It is kindly offered by Lady M--, and
in my unfortunate position I have not to choose. Be just and be
generous."
"Well, well, I will," said Lady R--, the tears starting in her eyes;
"but you do not know how much I am annoyed at your leaving me. I had
hoped, with all my faults, that I had created in you a feeling of
attachment to me--God knows, that I _have tried_. If you knew all my
history, Valerie, you would not be surprised at my being strange. That
occurred when I was of your age which would have driven some people to
despair or suicide. As it is, it has alienated me from all my
relations, not that I have many. My brother, I never see or hear from,
and have not for years. I have refused all his invitations to go down
to see him, and he is now offended with me; but there are causes for it,
and years cannot wipe away the memory of what did occur."
"I assure you, Lady R--, I have been very sensible of your kindness to
me," replied I, "and shall always remember it with gratitude; and if you
think I have no regard for you, you are mistaken; but the subject has
become painful--pray let us say no more."
"Well, Valerie, be it so; perhaps it is the wisest plan--"
To change the conversation, I said--"Is not your brother the present
baronet?"
"Yes," replied Lady R--
"And where does he reside?"
"In Essex, at Culverwood Hall, the seat of all my misfortunes."
I started a little at the mention of the place, as it was the one which
the reader may remember was spoken of by Lionel. I then turned the
conversation to other matters, and by dinner-time Lady R--had recovered
herself, and was as amiable as ever.
From that day until Lady R--set off for Paris, there was not a word said
relative to Lady M--. She was kind and polite, but not so warm and
friendly as she had been before, and in her subdued bearing towards me
was more agreeable. Her time was now employed in making preparations
for her tour. Lionel was the only one who was to accompany her except
her own maid. At last she fixed the day of her departure, and I wrote
to Lady M--, who returned an answer that it suited her exactly, as she
would go to the country the day after. The evening before Lady R--was
to start was passed very gloomily.
I felt great sorrow at our separation, more than I could have imagined;
but when you have been associated with a person who is good-tempered and
kind, you soon feel more for them than you would suppose until you are
about to quit them.
Lady R--was very much dispirited, and said to me, "Valerie, I have a
presentiment that we never shall meet again, and yet I am anything but
superstitious. I can truly say that you are the only person to whom I
have felt real attachment since my youth, and I feel more than I can
describe. Something whispers to me, `Do not go to France,' and yet
something impels me to go. Valerie, if I do come back I trust that you
will consider my house your home, if at any time you cannot place
yourself more to your satisfaction; I will not say more, as I know that
I am not exactly a lovable person, and my ways are odd; but do pray look
upon me as your sincere friend, who will always be ready to serve you.
I have to thank you for a few happy months, and that is saying much.
God bless you, my dear Valerie."
I was moved to tears by what Lady R--said, and I thanked her with a
faltering voice.
"Come now," said she, "I shall be off too early in the morning to see
you: let us take our farewell."
Lady R--put a small packet into my hand, kissed me on the forehead, and
then hastened up to her own room.
That people love change is certain, but still there is a mournfulness
connected with it; even in a change of residence, the packing up, the
litter attending it, the corded trunks and packages, give a forlorn
appearance to the house itself. To me it was peculiarly distressing; I
had changed so often within the last year, and had such a precarious
footing wherever I went, I felt myself to be the sport of fortune, and a
football to the whims and caprices of others. I was sitting in my
bedroom, my trunks packed but not yet closed down, thinking of Lady
R--'s last conversation, and very _triste_. The packet was lying on the
table before me, unopened, when I was roused by a knock at the door. I
thought it was Lady R--'s maid, and I said, "Come in."
The door opened, and Lionel made his appearance.
"Is it you, Lionel? What do you want?"
"I knew that you were up, and I recollected as we leave before you do,
to-morrow, that you would have no one to cord your luggage, so I thought
I would come up and do it for you to-night, Miss Valerie, if it is
ready."
"Thank you, Lionel, it is very considerate of you. I will lock the
trunks up, and you can cord them outside."
Lionel took out the trunks and corded them in the passage. When he had
finished he said to me, "Good bye, Miss Valerie. You will see me again
very soon."
"See you very soon, Lionel! I am afraid there is no chance of that, for
Lady R--intends to stay abroad for six months."
"I do not," replied he.
"Why, Lionel, it would be very foolish for you to give up such a good
situation. You have such unusual wages: twenty pounds a year, is it
not?"
"Yes, Miss Valerie. I should not get half that in another situation,
but that is one reason why I am going to leave. Why should she give me
twenty pounds a year. I must find out why, and find out I will, as I
said to you before. She don't give me twenty pounds for my beauty,
although she might give you a great deal more, and yet not pay you half
enough."
"Well, Lionel, I think you have been here long enough. It is too late
to sit up to pay compliments. Fare you well."
I shut my door upon him gently, and then went to bed. As usual after
excitement, I slept long and soundly. When I awoke the next morning, I
found it was broad day, and nearly ten o'clock. I rang the bell, and it
was answered by the cook, who told me that she and I were the only
people in the house. I rose, and as I passed by my table, I perceived
another package lying by the side of the one which Lady R--had given me.
It was addressed to me and I opened it. It contained a miniature of
Lady R--when she was about my age, and very beautiful she must have
been. It was labelled "Sempronia at eighteen. Keep it for my sake,
dear Valerie, and do not open the paper accompanying it until you have
my permission, or you hear of my being no more."
I laid the miniature down and opened the first packet given me by Lady
R--. It contained bank-notes to the amount of one hundred pounds,
nearly double the salary due to me. The contents of both these packets
only made me feel more melancholy, and I sighed heavily as I put them in
my dressing-case; but time ran on, and I had agreed to be at Lady M--'s
at one o'clock, when the carriage would be sent for me. I therefore
hastened my toilet, closed the remainder of my luggage, and went down to
the breakfast which the cook had prepared for me. While I was at
breakfast a letter was brought by the post. It had been directed to
Madame Bathurst, and was redirected to Lady R--'s address. It was from
Madame Paon, and as follows:--
"My dear Mademoiselle de Chatenoeuf,--
"As I take it for granted that you do not see the French papers, I write
to tell you that your predictions relative to Monsieur G--, have all
proved correct. A month after the marriage, he neglected madame, and
spent his whole time at the gaming-table, only returning home to obtain
fresh supplies from her. These were at last refused, and in his rage he
struck her. A suit for separation of person and property was brought
into court last week, and terminated in favour of Madame d'Albret, who
retains all her fortune, and is rid of a monster. She came to me
yesterday morning, and showed me the letter which you had written to
her, asking me whether I did not correspond with you, and whether I
thought, that after her conduct you could be prevailed upon to return to
her. Of course I could not give any opinion, but I am convinced that if
you only say that you forgive her, that she will write to you and make
the request. I really do not well see how you can do otherwise, after
the letter which you wrote to her, but of course you will decide for
yourself. I trust, mademoiselle, you will favour me with a speedy
answer, as Madame d'Albret is here every day, and is evidently very
impatient,--I am, my dear mademoiselle, yours,
"Emile Paon.
"Nee Merce."