I enjoyed it greatly, and on my part I brought a little mild

FALK

A REMINISCENCE

By Joseph Conrad

Several of us, all more or less connected with the sea, were dining in

a small river-hostelry not more than thirty miles from London, and less

than twenty from that shallow and dangerous puddle to which our coasting

men give the grandiose name of “German Ocean.” And through the wide

windows we had a view of the Thames; an enfilading view down the Lower

Hope Reach. But the dinner was execrable, and all the feast was for the

eyes.

That flavour of salt-water which for so many of us had been the very

water of life permeated our talk. He who hath known the bitterness of

the Ocean shall have its taste forever in his mouth. But one or two

of us, pampered by the life of the land, complained of hunger. It was

impossible to swallow any of that stuff. And indeed there was a strange

mustiness in everything. The wooden dining-room stuck out over the mud

of the shore like a lacustrine dwelling; the planks of the floor seemed

rotten; a decrepit old waiter tottered pathetically to and fro before

an antediluvian and worm-eaten sideboard; the chipped plates might have

been disinterred from some kitchen midden near an inhabited lake; and

the chops recalled times more ancient still. They brought forcibly to

one’s mind the night of ages when the primeval man, evolving the first

rudiments of cookery from his dim consciousness, scorched lumps of flesh

at a fire of sticks in the company of other good fellows; then, gorged

and happy, sat him back among the gnawed bones to tell his artless tales

of experience--the tales of hunger and hunt--and of women, perhaps!

But luckily the wine happened to be as old as the waiter. So,

comparatively empty, but upon the whole fairly happy, we sat back and

told our artless tales. We talked of the sea and all its works. The

sea never changes, and its works for all the talk of men are wrapped in

mystery. But we agreed that the times were changed. And we talked of old

ships, of sea-accidents, of break-downs, dismastings; and of a man who

brought his ship safe to Liverpool all the way from the River Platte

under a jury rudder. We talked of wrecks, of short rations and of

heroism--or at least of what the newspapers would have called heroism

at sea--a manifestation of virtues quite different from the heroism of

primitive times. And now and then falling silent all together we gazed

at the sights of the river.

A P. & O. boat passed bound down. “One gets jolly good dinners on board

these ships,” remarked one of our band. A man with sharp eyes read

out the name on her bows: Arcadia. “What a beautiful model of a ship!”

murmured some of us. She was followed by a small cargo steamer, and the

flag they hauled down aboard while we were looking showed her to be a

Norwegian. She made an awful lot of smoke; and before it had quite blown

away, a high-sided, short, wooden barque, in ballast and towed by a

paddle-tug, appeared in front of the windows. All her hands were forward

busy setting up the headgear; and aft a woman in a red hood, quite alone

with the man at the wheel, paced the length of the poop back and forth,

with the grey wool of some knitting work in her hands.

“German I should think,” muttered one. “The skipper has his wife on

board,” remarked another; and the light of the crimson sunset all

ablaze behind the London smoke, throwing a glow of Bengal light upon the

barque’s spars, faded away from the Hope Reach.

Then one of us, who had not spoken before, a man of over fifty, that had

commanded ships for a quarter of a century, looking after the barque now

gliding far away, all black on the lustre of the river, said:

This reminds me of an absurd episode in my life, now many years ago,

when I got first the command of an iron barque, loading then in a

certain Eastern seaport. It was also the capital of an Eastern kingdom,

lying up a river as might be London lies up this old Thames of ours.

No more need be said of the place; for this sort of thing might have

happened anywhere where there are ships, skippers, tugboats, and orphan

nieces of indescribable splendour. And the absurdity of the episode

concerns only me, my enemy Falk, and my friend Hermann.

There seemed to be something like peculiar emphasis on the words “My

friend Hermann,” which caused one of us (for we had just been speaking

of heroism at sea) to say idly and nonchalantly:

“And was this Hermann a hero?”

Not at all, said our grizzled friend. No hero at all. He was a

Schiff-fuhrer: Ship-conductor. That’s how they call a Master Mariner

in Germany. I prefer our way. The alliteration is good, and there is

something in the nomenclature that gives to us as a body the sense

of corporate existence: Apprentice, Mate, Master, in the ancient and

honourable craft of the sea. As to my friend Hermann, he might have

been a consummate master of the honourable craft, but he was called

officially Schiff-fuhrer, and had the simple, heavy appearance of a

well-to-do farmer, combined with the good-natured shrewdness of a small

shopkeeper. With his shaven chin, round limbs, and heavy eyelids he did

not look like a toiler, and even less like an adventurer of the sea.

Still, he toiled upon the seas, in his own way, much as a shopkeeper

works behind his counter. And his ship was the means by which he

maintained his growing family.

She was a heavy, strong, blunt-bowed affair, awakening the ideas of

primitive solidity, like the wooden plough of our forefathers. And there

were, about her, other suggestions of a rustic and homely nature. The

extraordinary timber projections which I have seen in no other vessel

made her square stern resemble the tail end of a miller’s waggon. But

the four stern ports of her cabin, glazed with six little greenish panes

each, and framed in wooden sashes painted brown, might have been the

windows of a cottage in the country. The tiny white curtains and the

greenery of flower pots behind the glass completed the resemblance. On

one or two occasions when passing under stern I had detected from my

boat a round arm in the act of tilting a watering pot, and the bowed

sleek head of a maiden whom I shall always call Hermann’s niece, because

as a matter of fact I’ve never heard her name, for all my intimacy with

the family.

This, however, sprang up later on. Meantime in common with the rest

of the shipping in that Eastern port, I was left in no doubt as to

Hermann’s notions of hygienic clothing. Evidently he believed in

wearing good stout flannel next his skin. On most days little frocks and

pinafores could be seen drying in the mizzen rigging of his ship, or

a tiny row of socks fluttering on the signal halyards; but once a

fortnight the family washing was exhibited in force. It covered the

poop entirely. The afternoon breeze would incite to a weird and flabby

activity all that crowded mass of clothing, with its vague suggestions

of drowned, mutilated and flattened humanity. Trunks without heads waved

at you arms without hands; legs without feet kicked fantastically with

collapsible flourishes; and there were long white garments that, taking

the wind fairly through their neck openings edged with lace, became for

a moment violently distended as by the passage of obese and invisible

bodies. On these days you could make out that ship at a great distance

by the multi-coloured grotesque riot going on abaft her mizzen mast.

She had her berth just ahead of me, and her name was Diana,--Diana not

of Ephesus but of Bremen. This was proclaimed in white letters a foot

long spaced widely across the stern (somewhat like the lettering of a

shop-sign) under the cottage windows. This ridiculously unsuitable name

struck one as an impertinence towards the memory of the most charming

of goddesses; for, apart from the fact that the old craft was physically

incapable of engaging in any sort of chase, there was a gang of four

children belonging to her. They peeped over the rail at passing boats

and occasionally dropped various objects into them. Thus, sometime

before I knew Hermann to speak to, I received on my hat a horrid

rag-doll belonging to Hermann’s eldest daughter. However, these

youngsters were upon the whole well behaved. They had fair heads, round

eyes, round little knobby noses, and they resembled their father a good

deal.

This Diana of Bremen was a most innocent old ship, and seemed to know

nothing of the wicked sea, as there are on shore households that know

nothing of the corrupt world. And the sentiments she suggested were

unexceptionable and mainly of a domestic order. She was a home. All

these dear children had learned to walk on her roomy quarter-deck. In

such thoughts there is something pretty, even touching. Their teeth, I

should judge, they had cut on the ends of her running gear. I have

many times observed the baby Hermann (Nicholas) engaged in gnawing the

whipping of the fore-royal brace. Nicholas’ favourite place of residence

was under the main fife-rail. Directly he was let loose he would

crawl off there, and the first seaman who came along would bring him,

carefully held aloft in tarry hands, back to the cabin door. I fancy

there must have been a standing order to that effect. In the course of

these transportations the baby, who was the only peppery person in the

ship, tried to smite these stalwart young German sailors on the face.

Mrs. Hermann, an engaging, stout housewife, wore on board baggy blue

dresses with white dots. When, as happened once or twice I caught her at

an elegant little wash-tub rubbing hard on white collars, baby’s socks,

and Hermann’s summer neckties, she would blush in girlish confusion, and

raising her wet hands greet me from afar with many friendly nods. Her

sleeves would be rolled up to the elbows, and the gold hoop of her

wedding ring glittered among the soapsuds. Her voice was pleasant, she

had a serene brow, smooth bands of very fair hair, and a good-humoured

expression of the eyes. She was motherly and moderately talkative. When

this simple matron smiled, youthful dimples broke out on her fresh broad

cheeks. Hermann’s niece on the other hand, an orphan and very silent, I

never saw attempt a smile. This, however, was not gloom on her part but

the restraint of youthful gravity.

They had carried her about with them for the last three years, to help

with the children and be company for Mrs. Hermann, as Hermann mentioned

once to me. It had been very necessary while they were all little, he

had added in a vexed manner. It was her arm and her sleek head that

I had glimpsed one morning, through the stern-windows of the cabin,

hovering over the pots of fuchsias and mignonette; but the first time I

beheld her full length I surrendered to her proportions. They fix her

in my mind, as great beauty, great intelligence, quickness of wit

or kindness of heart might have made some her other woman equally

memorable.

With her it was form and size. It was her physical personality that had

this imposing charm. She might have been witty, intelligent, and kind to

an exceptional degree. I don’t know, and this is not to the point. All

I know is that she was built on a magnificent scale. Built is the only

word. She was constructed, she was erected, as it were, with a regal

lavishness. It staggered you to see this reckless expenditure of

material upon a chit of a girl. She was youthful and also perfectly

mature, as though she had been some fortunate immortal. She was heavy

too, perhaps, but that’s nothing. It only added to that notion of

permanence. She was barely nineteen. But such shoulders! Such round

arms! Such a shadowing forth of mighty limbs when with three long

strides she pounced across the deck upon the overturned Nicholas--it’s

perfectly indescribable! She seemed a good, quiet girl, vigilant as

to Lena’s needs, Gustav’s tumbles, the state of Carl’s dear little

nose--conscientious, hardworking, and all that. But what magnificent

hair she had! Abundant, long, thick, of a tawny colour. It had the sheen

of precious metals. She wore it plaited tightly into one single tress

hanging girlishly down her back and its end reached down to her waist.

The massiveness of it surprised you. On my word it reminded one of a

club. Her face was big, comely, of an unruffled expression. She had a

good complexion, and her blue eyes were so pale that she appeared to

look at the world with the empty white candour of a statue. You could

not call her good-looking. It was something much more impressive.

The simplicity of her apparel, the opulence of her form, her imposing

stature, and the extraordinary sense of vigorous life that seemed to

emanate from her like a perfume exhaled by a flower, made her beautiful

with a beauty of a rustic and olympian order. To watch her reaching up

to the clothes-line with both arms raised high above her head, caused

you to fall a musing in a strain of pagan piety. Excellent Mrs.

Hermann’s baggy cotton gowns had some sort of rudimentary frills at neck

and bottom, but this girl’s print frocks hadn’t even a wrinkle; nothing

but a few straight folds in the skirt falling to her feet, and these,

when she stood still, had a severe and statuesque quality. She was

inclined naturally to be still whether sitting or standing. However, I

don’t mean to say she was statuesque. She was too generously alive; but

she could have stood for an allegoric statue of the Earth. I don’t mean

the worn-out earth of our possession, but a young Earth, a virginal

planet undisturbed by the vision of a future teeming with the monstrous

forms of life and death, clamorous with the cruel battles of hunger and

thought.

The worthy Hermann himself was not very entertaining, though his English

was fairly comprehensible. Mrs. Hermann, who always let off one speech

at least at me in an hospitable, cordial tone (and in Platt-Deutsch I

suppose) I could not understand. As to their niece, however satisfactory

to look upon (and she inspired you somehow with a hopeful view as to

the prospects of mankind) she was a modest and silent presence, mostly

engaged in sewing, only now and then, as I observed, falling over that

work into a state of maidenly meditation. Her aunt sat opposite her,

sewing also, with her feet propped on a wooden footstool. On the other

side of the deck Hermann and I would get a couple of chairs out of the

cabin and settle down to a smoking match, accompanied at long intervals

by the pacific exchange of a few words. I came nearly every evening.

Hermann I would find in his shirt sleeves. As soon as he returned from

the shore on board his ship he commenced operations by taking off his

coat; then he put on his head an embroidered round cap with a tassel,

and changed his boots for a pair of cloth slippers. Afterwards he smoked

at the cabin-door, looking at his children with an air of civic virtue,

till they got caught one after another and put to bed in various

staterooms. Lastly, we would drink some beer in the cabin, which

was furnished with a wooden table on cross legs, and with black

straight-backed chairs--more like a farm kitchen than a ship’s cuddy.

The sea and all nautical affairs seemed very far removed from the

hospitality of this exemplary family.

And I liked this because I had a rather worrying time on board my own

ship. I had been appointed ex-officio by the British Consul to take

charge of her after a man who had died suddenly, leaving for the

guidance of his successor some suspiciously unreceipted bills, a few

dry-dock estimates hinting at bribery, and a quantity of vouchers for

three years’ extravagant expenditure; all these mixed up together in a

dusty old violin-case lined with ruby velvet. I found besides a large

account-book, which, when opened, hopefully turned out to my infinite

consternation to be filled with verses--page after page of rhymed

doggerel of a jovial and improper character, written in the neatest

minute hand I ever did see. In the same fiddle-case a photograph of my

predecessor, taken lately in Saigon, represented in front of a garden

view, and in company of a female in strange draperies, an elderly,

squat, rugged man of stern aspect in a clumsy suit of black broadcloth,

and with the hair brushed forward above the temples in a manner

reminding one of a boar’s tusks. Of a fiddle, however, the only trace

on board was the case, its empty husk as it were; but of the two last

freights the ship had indubitably earned of late, there were not even

the husks left. It was impossible to say where all that money had gone

to. It wasn’t on board. It had not been remitted home; for a letter

from the owners, preserved in a desk evidently by the merest accident,

complained mildly enough that they had not been favoured by a scratch

of the pen for the last eighteen months. There were next to no stores on

board, not an inch of spare rope or a yard of canvas. The ship had been

run bare, and I foresaw no end of difficulties before I could get her

ready for sea.

As I was young then--not thirty yet--I took myself and my troubles very

seriously. The old mate, who had acted as chief mourner at the captain’s

funeral, was not particularly pleased at my coming. But the fact is the

fellow was not legally qualified for command, and the Consul was bound,

if at all possible, to put a properly certificated man on board. As to

the second mate, all I can say his name was Tottersen, or something like

that. His practice was to wear on his head, in that tropical climate, a

mangy fur cap. He was, without exception, the stupidest man I had ever

seen on board ship. And he looked it too. He looked so confoundedly

stupid that it was a matter of surprise for me when he answered to his

name.

I drew no great comfort from their company, to say the least of it;

while the prospect of making a long sea passage with those two fellows

was depressing. And my other thoughts in solitude could not be of a

gay complexion. The crew was sickly, the cargo was coming very slow; I

foresaw I would have lots of trouble with the charterers, and doubted

whether they would advance me enough money for the ship’s expenses.

Their attitude towards me was unfriendly. Altogether I was not getting

on. I would discover at odd times (generally about midnight) that I

was totally inexperienced, greatly ignorant of business, and hopelessly

unfit for any sort of command; and when the steward had to be taken to

the hospital ill with choleraic symptoms I felt bereaved of the only

decent person at the after end of the ship. He was fully expected to

recover, but in the meantime had to be replaced by some sort of servant.

And on the recommendation of a certain Schomberg, the proprietor of the

smaller of the two hotels in the place, I engaged a Chinaman. Schomberg,

a brawny, hairy Alsatian, and an awful gossip, assured me that it was

all right. “First-class boy that. Came in the suite of his Excellency

Tseng the Commissioner--you know. His Excellency Tseng lodged with me

here for three weeks.”

He mouthed the Chinese Excellency at me with great unction, though

the specimen of the “suite” did not seem very promising. At the time,

however, I did not know what an untrustworthy humbug Schomberg was. The

“boy” might have been forty or a hundred and forty for all you could

tell--one of those Chinamen of the death’s-head type of face and

completely inscrutable. Before the end of the third day he had revealed

himself as a confirmed opium-smoker, a gambler, a most audacious thief,

and a first-class sprinter. When he departed at the top of his speed

with thirty-two golden sovereigns of my own hard-earned savings it was

the last straw. I had reserved that money in case my difficulties came

to the worst. Now it was gone I felt as poor and naked as a fakir. I

clung to my ship, for all the bother she caused me, but what I could not

bear were the long lonely evenings in her cuddy, where the atmosphere,

made smelly by a leaky lamp, was agitated by the snoring of the mate.

That fellow shut himself up in his stuffy cabin punctually at eight, and

made gross and revolting noises like a water-logged trump. It was odious

not to be able to worry oneself in comfort on board one’s own ship.

Everything in this world, I reflected, even the command of a nice little

barque, may be made a delusion and a snare for the unwary spirit of

pride in man.

From such reflections I was glad to make any escape on board that Bremen

Diana. There apparently no whisper of the world’s iniquities had ever

penetrated. And yet she lived upon the wide sea: and the sea tragic

and comic, the sea with its horrors and its peculiar scandals, the sea

peopled by men and ruled by iron necessity is indubitably a part of the

world. But that patriarchal old tub, like some saintly retreat, echoed

nothing of it. She was world proof. Her venerable innocence apparently

had put a restraint on the roaring lusts of the sea. And yet I have

known the sea too long to believe in its respect for decency. An

elemental force is ruthlessly frank. It may, of course, have been

Hermann’s skilful seamanship, but to me it looked as if the allied

oceans had refrained from smashing these high bulwarks, unshipping

the lumpy rudder, frightening the children, and generally opening this

family’s eyes out of sheer reticence. It looked like reticence. The

ruthless disclosure was in the end left for a man to make; a man strong

and elemental enough and driven to unveil some secrets of the sea by the

power of a simple and elemental desire.

This, however, occurred much later, and meantime I took sanctuary in

that serene old ship early every evening. The only person on board that

seemed to be in trouble was little Lena, and in due course I perceived

that the health of the rag-doll was more than delicate. This object led

a sort of “in extremis” existence in a wooden box placed against the

starboard mooring-bitts, tended and nursed with the greatest sympathy

and care by all the children, who greatly enjoyed pulling long faces and

moving with hushed footsteps. Only the baby--Nicholas--looked on with a

cold, ruffianly leer, as if he had belonged to another tribe altogether.

Lena perpetually sorrowed over the box, and all of them were in deadly

earnest. It was wonderful the way these children would work up their

compassion for that bedraggled thing I wouldn’t have touched with a pair

of tongs. I suppose they were exercising and developing their racial

sentimentalism by the means of that dummy. I was only surprised that

Mrs. Hermann let Lena cherish and hug that bundle of rags to that

extent, it was so disreputably and completely unclean. But Mrs. Hermann

would raise her fine womanly eyes from her needlework to look on with

amused sympathy, and did not seem to see it, somehow, that this

object of affection was a disgrace to the ship’s purity. Purity, not

cleanliness, is the word. It was pushed so far that I seemed to detect

in this too a sentimental excess, as if dirt had been removed in

very love. It is impossible to give you an idea of such a meticulous

neatness. It was as if every morning that ship had been arduously

explored with--with toothbrushes. Her very bowsprit three times a week

had its toilette made with a cake of soap and a piece of soft flannel.

Arrayed--I _must_ say arrayed--arrayed artlessly in dazzling white paint

as to wood and dark green as to ironwork the simple-minded distribution

of these colours evoked the images of simple-minded peace, of arcadian

felicity; and the childish comedy of disease and sorrow struck me

sometimes as an abominably real blot upon that ideal state.

I enjoyed it greatly, and on my part I brought a little mild excitement

into it. Our intimacy arose from the pursuit of that thief. It was in

the evening, and Hermann, who, contrary to his habits, had stayed on

shore late that day, was extricating himself backwards out of a little

gharry on the river bank, opposite his ship, when the hunt passed.

Realising the situation as though he had eyes in his shoulder-blades, he

joined us with a leap and took the lead. The Chinaman fled silent like

a rapid shadow on the dust of an extremely oriental road. I followed. A

long way in the rear my mate whooped like a savage. A young moon threw

a bashful light on a plain like a monstrous waste ground: the

architectural mass of a Buddhist temple far away projected itself

in dead black on the sky. We lost the thief of course; but in my

disappointment I had to admire Hermann’s presence of mind. The velocity

that stodgy man developed in the interests of a complete stranger earned

my warm gratitude--there was something truly cordial in his exertions.

He seemed as vexed as myself at our failure, and would hardly listen to

my thanks. He said it was “nothings,” and invited me on the spot to

come on board his ship and drink a glass of beer with him. We poked

sceptically for a while amongst the bushes, peered without conviction

into a ditch or two. There was not a sound: patches of slime glimmered

feebly amongst the reeds. Slowly we trudged back, drooping under the

thin sickle of the moon, and I heard him mutter to himself, “Himmel!

Zwei und dreissig Pfund!” He was impressed by the figure of my loss. For

a long time we had ceased to hear the mate’s whoops and yells.

Then he said to me, “Everybody has his troubles,” and as we went on

remarked that he would never have known anything of mine hadn’t he by an

extraordinary chance been detained on shore by Captain Falk. He didn’t

like to stay late ashore--he added with a sigh. The something doleful in

his tone I put to his sympathy with my misfortune, of course.

On board the Diana Mrs. Hermann’s fine eyes expressed much interest and

commiseration. We had found the two women sewing face to face under the

open skylight in the strong glare of the lamp. Hermann walked in first,

starting in the very doorway to pull off his coat, and encouraging

me with loud, hospitable ejaculations: “Come in! This way! Come in,

captain!” At once, coat in hand, he began to tell his wife all about

it. Mrs. Hermann put the palms of her plump hands together; I smiled

and bowed with a heavy heart: the niece got up from her sewing to

bring Hermann’s slippers and his embroidered calotte, which he assumed

pontifically, talking (about me) all the time. Billows of white stuff

lay between the chairs on the cabin floor; I caught the words “Zwei und

dreissig Pfund” repeated several times, and presently came the beer,

which seemed delicious to my throat, parched with running and the

emotions of the chase.

I didn’t get away till well past midnight, long after the women had

retired. Hermann had been trading in the East for three years or more,

carrying freights of rice and timber mostly. His ship was well known in

all the ports from Vladivostok to Singapore. She was his own property.

The profits had been moderate, but the trade answered well enough while

the children were small yet. In another year or so he hoped he would

be able to sell the old Diana to a firm in Japan for a fair price. He

intended to return home, to Bremen, by mail boat, second class, with

Mrs. Hermann and the children. He told me all this stolidly, with slow

puffs at his pipe. I was sorry when knocking the ashes out he began

to rub his eyes. I would have sat with him till morning. What had I to

hurry on board my own ship for? To face the broken rifled drawer in my

state-room. Ugh! The very thought made me feel unwell.

I became their daily guest, as you know. I think that Mrs. Hermann from

the first looked upon me as a romantic person. I did not, of course,

tear my hair _coram populo_ over my loss, and she took it for lordly

indifference. Afterwards, I daresay, I did tell them some of my

adventures--such as they were--and they marvelled greatly at the extent

of my experience. Hermann would translate what he thought the most

striking passages. Getting up on his legs, and as if delivering a

lecture on a phenomenon, he addressed himself, with gestures, to the two

women, who would let their sewing sink slowly on their laps. Meantime

I sat before a glass of Hermann’s beer, trying to look modest. Mrs.

Hermann would glance at me quickly, emit slight “Ach’s!” The girl never

made a sound. Never. But she too would sometimes raise her pale eyes

to look at me in her unseeing gentle way. Her glance was by no means

stupid; it beamed out soft and diffuse as the moon beams upon a

landscape--quite differently from the scrutinising inspection of the

stars. You were drowned in it, and imagined yourself to appear blurred.

And yet this same glance when turned upon Christian Falk must have been

as efficient as the searchlight of a battle-ship.

Falk was the other assiduous visitor on board, but from his behaviour

he might have been coming to see the quarter-deck capstan. He certainly

used to stare at it a good deal when keeping us company outside the

cabin door, with one muscular arm thrown over the back of the chair, and

his big shapely legs, in very tight white trousers, extended far out and

ending in a pair of black shoes as roomy as punts. On arrival he would

shake Hermann’s hand with a mutter, bow to the women, and take up his

careless and misanthropic attitude by our side. He departed abruptly,

with a jump, going through the performance of grunts, handshakes, bow,

as if in a panic. Sometimes, with a sort of discreet and convulsive

effort, he approached the women and exchanged a few low words with them,

half a dozen at most. On these occasions Hermann’s usual stare became

positively glassy and Mrs. Hermann’s kind countenance would colour up.

The girl herself never turned a hair.

Falk was a Dane or perhaps a Norwegian, I can’t tell now. At all events

he was a Scandinavian of some sort, and a bloated monopolist to boot.

It is possible he was unacquainted with the word, but he had a clear

perception of the thing itself. His tariff of charges for towing ships

in and out was the most brutally inconsiderate document of the sort I

had ever seen. He was the commander and owner of the only tug-boat on

the river, a very trim white craft of 150 tons or more, as elegantly

neat as a yacht, with a round wheel-house rising like a glazed turret

high above her sharp bows, and with one slender varnished pole mast

forward. I daresay there are yet a few shipmasters afloat who remember

Falk and his tug very well. He extracted his pound and a half of

flesh from each of us merchant-skippers with an inflexible sort of

indifference which made him detested and even feared. Schomberg used to

remark: “I won’t talk about the fellow. I don’t think he has six drinks

from year’s end to year’s end in my place. But my advice is, gentlemen,

don’t you have anything to do with him, if you can help it.”

This advice, apart from unavoidable business relations, was easy to

follow because Falk intruded upon no one. It seems absurd to compare a

tugboat skipper to a centaur: but he reminded me somehow of an engraving

in a little book I had as a boy, which represented centaurs at a stream,

and there was one, especially in the foreground, prancing bow and arrows

in hand, with regular severe features and an immense curled wavy beard,

flowing down his breast. Falk’s face reminded me of that centaur.

Besides, he was a composite creature. Not a man-horse, it is true, but

a man-boat. He lived on board his tug, which was always dashing up and

down the river from early morn till dewy eve.

In the last rays of the setting sun, you could pick out far away down

the reach his beard borne high up on the white structure, foaming up

stream to anchor for the night. There was the white-clad man’s body, and

the rich brown patch of the hair, and nothing below the waist but the

‘thwart-ship white lines of the bridge-screens, that lead the eye to the

sharp white lines of the bows cleaving the muddy water of the river.

Separated from his boat to me at least he seemed incomplete. The tug

herself without his head and torso on the bridge looked mutilated as it

were. But he left her very seldom. All the time I remained in harbour

I saw him only twice on shore. On the first occasion it was at my

charterers, where he came in misanthropically to get paid for towing out

a French barque the day before. The second time I could hardly believe

my eyes, for I beheld him reclining under his beard in a cane-bottomed

chair in the billiard-room of Schomberg’s hotel.

It was very funny to see Schomberg ignoring him pointedly. The

artificiality of it contrasted strongly with Falk’s natural unconcern.

The big Alsatian talked loudly with his other customers, going from one

little table to the other, and passing Falk’s place of repose with his

eyes fixed straight ahead. Falk sat there with an untouched glass at his

elbow. He must have known by sight and name every white man in the room,

but he never addressed a word to anybody. He acknowledged my presence by

a drop of his eyelids, and that was all. Sprawling there in the chair,

he would, now and again, draw the palms of both his hands down his face,

giving at the same time a slight, almost imperceptible, shudder.

It was a habit he had, and of course I was perfectly familiar with it,

since you could not remain an hour in his company without being made to

wonder at such a movement breaking some long period of stillness. It was

a passionate and inexplicable gesture. He used to make it at all sorts

of times; as likely as not after he had been listening to little Lena’s

chatter about the suffering doll, for instance. The Hermann children

always besieged him about his legs closely, though, in a gentle way, he

shrank from them a little. He seemed, however, to feel a great affection

for the whole family. For Hermann himself especially. He sought his

company. In this case, for instance, he must have been waiting for him,

because as soon as he appeared Falk rose hastily, and they went out

together. Then Schomberg expounded in my hearing to three or four people

his theory that Falk was after Captain Hermann’s niece, and asserted

confidently that nothing would come of it. It was the same last year

when Captain Hermann was loading here, he said.

Naturally, I did not believe Schomberg, but I own that for a time I

observed closely what went on. All I discovered was some impatience on

Hermann’s part. At the sight of Falk, stepping over the gangway, the

excellent man would begin to mumble and chew between his teeth something

that sounded like German swear-words. However, as I’ve said, I’m not

familiar with the language, and Hermann’s soft, round-eyed countenance

remained unchanged. Staring stolidly ahead he greeted him with, “Wie

gehts,” or in English, “How are you?” with a throaty enunciation. The

girl would look up for an instant and move her lips slightly: Mrs.

Hermann let her hands rest on her lap to talk volubly to him for a

minute or so in her pleasant voice before she went on with her sewing

again. Falk would throw himself into a chair, stretch his big legs, as

like as not draw his hands down his face passionately. As to myself, he

was not pointedly impertinent: it was rather as though he could not be

bothered with such trifles as my existence; and the truth is that being

a monopolist he was under no necessity to be amiable. He was sure to get

his own extortionate terms out of me for towage whether he frowned

or smiled. As a matter of fact, he did neither: but before many days

elapsed he managed to astonish me not a little and to set Schomberg’s

tongue clacking more than ever.

It came about in this way. There was a shallow bar at the mouth of the

river which ought to have been kept down, but the authorities of the

State were piously busy gilding afresh the great Buddhist Pagoda just

then, and I suppose had no money to spare for dredging operations. I

don’t know how it may be now, but at the time I speak of that sandbank

was a great nuisance to the shipping. One of its consequences was that

vessels of a certain draught of water, like Hermann’s or mine, could not

complete their loading in the river. After taking in as much as possible

of their cargo, they had to go outside to fill up. The whole procedure

was an unmitigated bore. When you thought you had as much on board as

your ship could carry safely over the bar, you went and gave notice to

your agents. They, in their turn, notified Falk that so-and-so was ready

to go out. Then Falk (ostensibly when it fitted in with his other work,

but, if the truth were known, simply when his arbitrary spirit moved

him), after ascertaining carefully in the office that there was enough

money to meet his bill, would come along unsympathetically, glaring

at you with his yellow eyes from the bridge, and would drag you out

dishevelled as to rigging, lumbered as to the decks, with unfeeling

haste, as if to execution. And he would force you too to take the end of

his own wire hawser, for the use of which there was of course an extra

charge. To your shouted remonstrances against that extortion this

towering trunk with one hand on the engine-room telegraph only shook its

bearded head above the splash, the racket, and the clouds of smoke

in which the tug, backing and filling in the smother of churning

paddle-wheels behaved like a ferocious and impatient creature. He had

her manned by the cheekiest gang of lascars I ever did see, whom he

allowed to bawl at you insolently, and, once fast, he plucked you out

of your berth as if he did not care what he smashed. Eighteen miles down

the river you had to go behind him, and then three more along the

coast to where a group of uninhabited rocky islets enclosed a sheltered

anchorage. There you would have to lie at single anchor with your naked

spars showing to seaward over these barren fragments of land scattered

upon a very intensely blue sea. There was nothing to look at besides but

a bare coast, the muddy edge of the brown plain with the sinuosities

of the river you had left, traced in dull green, and the Great Pagoda

uprising lonely and massive with shining curves and pinnacles like the

gorgeous and stony efflorescence of tropical rocks. You had nothing to

do but to wait fretfully for the balance of your cargo, which was sent

out of the river with the greatest irregularity. And it was open to

you to console yourself with the thought that, after all, this stage

of bother meant that your departure from these shores was indeed

approaching at last.

We both had to go through that stage, Hermann and I, and there was a

sort of tacit emulation between the ships as to which should be ready

first. We kept on neck and neck almost to the finish, when I won

the race by going personally to give notice in the forenoon; whereas

Hermann, who was very slow in making up his mind to go ashore, did not

get to the agents’ office till late in the day. They told him there that

my ship was first on turn for next morning, and I believe he told them

he was in no hurry. It suited him better to go the day after.

That evening, on board the Diana, he sat with his plump knees well

apart, staring and puffing at the curved mouthpiece of his pipe.

Presently he spoke with some impatience to his niece about putting the

children to bed. Mrs. Hermann, who was talking to Falk, stopped short

and looked at her husband uneasily, but the girl got up at once and

drove the children before her into the cabin. In a little while Mrs.

Hermann had to leave us to quell what, from the sounds inside, must have

been a dangerous mutiny. At this Hermann grumbled to himself. For half

an hour longer Falk left alone with us fidgeted on his chair, sighed

lightly, then at last, after drawing his hands down his face, got up,

and as if renouncing the hope of making himself understood (he hadn’t

opened his mouth once) he said in English: “Well.... Good night,

Captain Hermann.” He stopped for a moment before my chair and looked

down fixedly; I may even say he glared: and he went so far as to make a

deep noise in his throat. There was in all this something so marked

that for the first time in our limited intercourse of nods and grunts he

excited in me something like interest. But next moment he disappointed

me--for he strode away hastily without a nod even.

His manner was usually odd it is true, and I certainly did not pay much

attention to it; but that sort of obscure intention, which seemed to

lurk in his nonchalance like a wary old carp in a pond, had never before

come so near the surface. He had distinctly aroused my expectations. I

would have been unable to say what it was I expected, but at all events

I did not expect the absurd developments he sprung upon me no later than

the break of the very next day.

I remember only that there was, on that evening, enough point in his

behaviour to make me, after he had fled, wonder audibly what he might

mean. To this Hermann, crossing his legs with a swing and settling

himself viciously away from me in his chair, said: “That fellow don’t

know himself what he means.”

There might have been some insight in such a remark. I said nothing,

and, still averted, he added: “When I was here last year he was just the

same.” An eruption of tobacco smoke enveloped his head as if his temper

had exploded like gunpowder.

I had half a mind to ask him point blank whether he, at least, didn’t

know why Falk, a notoriously unsociable man, had taken to visiting his

ship with such assiduity. After all, I reflected suddenly, it was a

most remarkable thing. I wonder now what Hermann would have said. As it

turned out he didn’t let me ask. Forgetting all about Falk apparently,

he started a monologue on his plans for the future: the selling of the

ship, the going home; and falling into a reflective and calculating

mood he mumbled between regular jets of smoke about the expense. The

necessity of disbursing passage money for all his tribe seemed to

disturb him in a manner that was the more striking because otherwise

he gave no signs of a miserly disposition. And yet he fussed over the

prospect of that voyage home in a mail boat like a sedentary grocer

who has made up his mind to see the world. He was racially thrifty I

suppose, and for him there must have been a great novelty in finding

himself obliged to pay for travelling--for sea travelling which was the

normal state of life for the family--from the very cradle for most of

them. I could see he grudged prospectively every single shilling which

must be spent so absurdly. It was rather funny. He would become doleful

over it, and then again, with a fretful sigh, he would suppose there

was nothing for it now but to take three second-class tickets--and there

were the four children to pay for besides. A lot of money that to spend

at once. A big lot of money.

I sat with him listening (not for the first time) to these

heart-searchings till I grew thoroughly sleepy, and then I left him and

turned in on board my ship. At daylight I was awakened by a yelping of

shrill voices, accompanied by a great commotion in the water, and the

short, bullying blasts of a steam-whistle. Falk with his tug had come

for me.

I began to dress. It was remarkable that the answering noise on board my

ship together with the patter of feet above my head ceased suddenly. But

I heard more remote guttural cries which seemed to express surprise and

annoyance. Then the voice of my mate reached me howling expostulations

to somebody at a distance. Other voices joined, apparently indignant;

a chorus of something that sounded like abuse replied. Now and then the

steam-whistle screeched.

Altogether that unnecessary uproar was distracting, but down there in my

cabin I took it calmly. In another moment, I thought, I should be going

down that wretched river, and in another week at the most I should be

totally quit of the odious place and all the odious people in it.

Greatly cheered by the idea, I seized the hair-brushes and looking at

myself in the glass began to use them. Suddenly a hush fell upon the

noise outside, and I heard (the ports of my cabin were thrown open)--I

heard a deep calm voice, not on board my ship, however, hailing

resolutely in English, but with a strong foreign twang, “Go ahead!”

There may be tides in the affairs of men which taken at the flood...

and so on. Personally I am still on the look out for that important

turn. I am, however, afraid that most of us are fated to flounder for

ever in the dead water of a pool whose shores are arid indeed. But

I know that there are often in men’s affairs unexpectedly--even

irrationally--illuminating moments when an otherwise insignificant

sound, perhaps only some perfectly commonplace gesture, suffices

to reveal to us all the unreason, all the fatuous unreason, of our

complacency. “Go ahead” are not particularly striking words even when

pronounced with a foreign accent; yet they petrified me in the very

act of smiling at myself in the glass. And then, refusing to believe my

ears, but already boiling with indignation, I ran out of the cabin and

up on deck.

It was incredibly true. It was perfectly true. I had no eyes for

anything but the Diana. It was she, then, was being taken away. She was

already out of her berth and shooting athwart the river. “The way this

loonatic plucked that ship out is a caution,” said the awed voice of my

mate close to my ear. “Hey! Hallo! Falk! Hermann! What’s this infernal

trick?” I yelled in a fury.

Nobody heard me. Falk certainly could not hear me. His tug was turning

at full speed away under the other bank. The wire hawser between her and

the Diana, stretched as taut as a harp-string, vibrated alarmingly.

The high black craft careened over to the awful strain. A loud crack

came out of her, followed by the tearing and splintering of wood.

“There!” said the awed voice in my ear. “He’s carried away their towing

chock.” And then, with enthusiasm, “Oh! Look! Look! sir, Look! at them

Dutchmen skipping out of the way on the forecastle. I hope to goodness

he’ll break a few of their shins before he’s done with ‘em.”

I yelled my vain protests. The rays of the rising sun coursing level

along the plain warmed my back, but I was hot enough with rage. I

could not have believed that a simple towing operation could suggest so

plainly the idea of abduction, of rape. Falk was simply running off with

the Diana.

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