PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD.
Motherhood the Glory of Womanhood.—Maternity Natural and
Productive of Health.—Prevalence of Knowledge of Methods Used
to Prevent Conception.—Mothers Should Prepare Their Daughters
for Maternity.—Motherhood the Sanction for Wifehood.—Effect of
Fixed Habits of Mother upon Offspring.—Adjustment of Clothing
to Expectant Motherhood.—Importance of Proper Exercise.—The
Sitz Bath.—Threatened Miscarriages.—Effects of Environment upon
the Unborn.—Why Italian Children Resemble the Madonnas.—The
Child the Expression of the Mother’s Thoughts.—The Five Stages
of Prenatal Culture Stated and Illustrated.—The Mother of the
Wesleys.—The Child the Heir and Expression of the Mother’s
Thought and Life.
“Oh in woman how
Mighty is the love of offspring: ere
Unto her wandering, untaught mind, unfolds
The mystery that is half divine, half human,
Of life, of birth, the love of unborn souls
Within her, and the mother yearning creeps
Through her warm heart, and stirs its hidden deeps
And grows and strengthens with each riper year.”—ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
“Motherhood is not a remote contingency, but the common duty and the
common glory of womanhood.”
“They should know that the less children and the more servants in the
home, the less health and happiness, other things being equal. It is
natural for women to bear children, and unnatural to evade this function;
the everlastingly recurrent congestion of the generative organs, month
after month, year in and year out, without the rest of generation,
promotes a true disease of these organs, and favors all the various
growths which afflict so large a proportion of our women.”
With the prevailing ignorance, which has been the heritage of our
daughters for so many generations, no thought of preparation for
motherhood has exercised them. On the other hand, much the larger
majority of our young women come to the marriage altar, far better
informed in the methods of preventing conception, or producing abortion
after conception has really taken place, than of any proper preparation
for motherhood. Who are their teachers? Many who should blush with
shame that they lend their influence to this nefarious business; this
education in invalidism, murder and suicide. Many, who should be the
teachers in truth and purity. Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, aunts,
“friends,” young matrons, who have become adepts in the business, and
whose punishment has not yet overtaken them—all these, and many more.
Christians? Yes, professing Christians; but who would hardly like to
have their advice in these things written along side of their confession
of faith in the records of the church. They should remember that it is
written in a larger book than that of a church, and written so large that
all the world can read it by and by.
In the first steps of preparation for motherhood, the mother should be
the teacher. That so few mothers are capable of teaching their daughters
as they should, emphasizes the need of right teaching along these lines,
and the necessity of plain talks with mothers and daughters.
From a recent paper I clipped the following: “There is a story going
the rounds, that the last convention of the National Mothers’ Congress,
was not entirely successful, owing to the fact, that only about one
out of every ten delegates was even married. Since the object of the
organization is the better care, discipline and rearing of the young,
it has been determined that every delegate to the convention next
month, must show her right to be there. While many unmarried women
are probably more capable of rearing children than many who are trying
to, no exceptions will be made to the rule of making the organization
exclusively for mothers and wives.”
To my mind the writer of this criticism has shown far less wisdom
than those who appointed as delegates, unmarried women. What better
preparation for motherhood, than listening to the wise discussions
relative to the care and training of children? Hence the convention is
conserving the wisest purpose when it admits as delegates the young and
unmarried women. Had I the appointing power I would make at least half
the delegates from this class.
All the way from childhood onward, the wise mother will be instilling
truths into the minds of her daughters, that will be along the line
of preparation for motherhood. The early teaching of truth, the early
knowledge of self and sex relations, the right estimate of marriage, all
these lessons are preparing the way for the later knowledge that precedes
motherhood.
From the wedding day, the young matron should shape her life to the
probable and desired contingency of conception and maternity. Otherwise
she has no right or title to wifehood.
While it has been proven that transient states of the parents have
far less influence upon the offspring, than fixed habits of mind, yet
much can be done by way of amending defects, and fixing admirable and
desired traits in character, which before had been transient, and thus
influencing with greater power the minds of the offspring.
Let this be always remembered that the stronger and more beautiful the
mother becomes, the more lovely will be her children. Soul-gardeners
should all mothers be in a peculiar sense, that the children which shall
be given her, may have good soil in which to generate and grow during
antenatal life.
No sacrifice should be considered too great for her to make, that this
end may be conserved. As soon as she discovers herself pregnant, she
should modify her clothing to the comfort and healthfulness of herself
and baby. If she have already learned how to dress healthfully, she will
need to make few changes in the early months. No weight of clothing
should be allowed to rest upon the hips; everything must be supported
from the shoulders. The skirt and waist can be fashioned in one garment,
and so made that they can be let out to accommodate themselves to the
growing need. The dainty and pretty maternity gowns are everything that
can be desired, and can be so diversified that they meet all the wants
of taste and change. Patterns for these can be bought at any reliable
pattern house, and the gown can be made as elaborate as fancy dictates.
The union suit of underclothing, the union skirt and waist combined, and
the gown, are all that should be worn throughout the entire period. If
more warmth is needed it should be given in the undergarments.
Exercise must be taken daily as a religious duty. The common work which
is to be done about the home, is as good as any system of physical
exercise which can be devised for development and healthfulness
throughout pregnancy; however, other movements for the special
strengthening of the muscles of the back and abdomen may be taken with
profit.
Beginning with the fourth month sitz baths (a bath taken in a sitting
posture with only the parts about the hips submerged) should be taken
as often as twice weekly for the following three months, and after this
to the close of the period, every night just before retiring. The water
should be as hot as can well be borne, and the bath continued for at
least fifteen or twenty minutes, while a half hour can do no harm if
it be enjoyed. Warm water should be added to keep the bath at an even
temperature. Of course this should be taken in a warm room where there is
no danger of a chill at the time or after.
With proper exercise and the baths, there will be no need of bandaging to
hold up the pendant abdomen, for the strengthened muscles will do their
work better than art can do it.
A word right here will not be out of place, upon the subject of
threatened miscarriages. Young wives who are uninformed on these things
will often be greatly troubled at symptoms which to them may seem
alarming, which are not so at all, while on the other hand they may pass
over too lightly other symptoms that are really grave in character.
At any time throughout the pregnancy a flow of blood, even if slight,
must be considered grave enough to call for the counsel of the physician.
Pains simulating menstrual pains, if at all aggravated must be looked
after, and not be allowed to continue. Great care should always be taken
at what would have been were she not pregnant, the regular monthly
period, as the greatest danger of miscarriage comes at these times. No
undue exercise should be taken, but instead, all the work, recreation and
exercise should be rather under the ordinary, at these periods.
If miscarriage threatens, the first symptom to cause alarm will be a flow
of more or less amount, and, on the appearance of this the physician
should be at once consulted. Following this there should be enforced
rest, preferably in a reclining position, for several days, until all
fears that there will be a return are allayed, then the usual cares must
be resumed with caution.
To guard against threatened miscarriage any young wife need only observe
the rules which govern right living and carefulness, and she need have no
fear.
All this for preservation and care; now a further word.
It has been remarked by travellers in Italy, that many of the native
children bear a striking resemblance to the pictures of the child Jesus,
from the adoration which the mothers give the Madonnas. The same truth is
here again taught, that we not only become like what we most love, and
think most about, but that we may transmit this likeness to our little
ones. O mothers! what an incentive to high and noble thinking, and to
worthy objects for our loves.
So far as inheritance goes this is too true, but there is another side
which we must not fail to emphasize. Surroundings and education, with
the grace of God, may do very much to eradicate harmful hereditary
tendencies. Yet the truth remains that the prevailing tendencies of a
life are inborn, and unless they are set in the right direction, we do
battle against them at fearful odds, and with an expenditure of a vast
amount of strength, that used otherwise would give us a long push in the
successful journey of life.
Harriet Prescott Spofford has in her inimitable way put the truth of
this mother inheritance in these words: “No intelligence, no cunning, no
benevolence, could evade the inevitable. For what she was, that her child
was. You do not gather figs from thistles. What she had made herself, she
had made her child; what she had become that her child became also. In
being born the child became all that.”
That we may train the more systematically our little unborn babes, it
will be well for us to study the five stages of prenatal culture. In
giving these stages, I would not have you understand that at no other
time except at these periods are the given characteristics of mind and
body cultured and strengthened; but that in these special periods they
receive their strongest impetus and determination. Throughout the entire
ten lunar months should we foster and culture all the sweet graces, but
especially in these times.
In the first two of the ten lunar months of pregnancy the physical nature
of the little one is shaped. During this time the mother should pay
especial attention to physical exercises which will add to her strength
and insure vigorous health through the remaining months. In other words,
she should fix her habits of exercise in this period and adhere to them
as closely as possible throughout the entire ten months. As far as may
be, put pleasure and diversion into your exercise.
Look at beautiful pictures, study perfect pieces of statuary, forbid as
far as possible the contemplation of unsightly and imperfect models.
Make your reading tend toward the same end and you will be rewarded
with beautiful, vigorous children. If it be true, as we know it is,
that the dog-fancier can produce you a dog at will, that will be marked
as you order, why may not this same law be demonstrated in the human
family? Remember the story of Jacob’s sheep and the “pilled rods” for
illustration in the animal kingdom.
During the third and fourth months the vital instincts are determined.
Then the domestic and social affections and loves, love of home and
family, are implanted. How very much the future mother may do by making
the home at this time the fairest place on earth; and becoming so in love
with it herself, that her child may forever in its after life repeat this
affection.
“In the fifth and sixth months the observing, or perceptive powers are
cultured and engrafted. Individuality, form, weight, color, calculation,
time, tune, language and the five external senses.”
Surely, enough variety in study for this period. If you are not
observing, learn to be, by persistent exercise; assert your
individuality; study independence in thought and action; be self-reliant,
self-contained. Study form and outline until you can take them in at a
glance. If you have never cultivated an artistic taste do so at this
time. If you have not the time, talent or money to learn to execute
pictures yourself, you can at least study the beautiful things done by
others, and can implant the love for these things, which may be highly
developed in your child. Many an ideal to which you have never been able
to give expression will thus be wrought out in the most glowing imagery
hereafter by your children. The things you have longed to be will find
expression in their lives.
Many a poet, I believe, has been born of parents whose lives were poems,
but who were never able to express a couplet in rhyme or meter. “Susanna
Wesley, with the song of praise and the gospel of peace in her heart,
bore and gave to the world two sons, whose spiritual achievement in song
and sermon set in motion a wave of blessing that has carried peace to
thousands of souls the world over, and will carry to the end of time.
Herself no singer or preacher, but living the song and the sermon that
found expression in her sons.”
Truly nowhere does seed-sowing bring a hundredfold more surely, than that
implanted in the prenatal life of our babies.
“In the fourth stage we develop the constructive and beautifying powers;
as constructiveness, ideality, sublimity, mirthfulness, imitation,
suavity, etc.” How much, by giving during this period, these faculties
in your own mind full play, and judicious cultivation, can you add of
blessing and happy helpfulness to the little life growing to maturity
under your heart.
“The fifth and last stage of two months we may call the humanitarian and
beneficent. In this period, the religious or worshipful aspirations,
spiritual or upward looking powers, as hope, veneration, benevolence,
charity, etc., etc., receive their impetus.”
How beautiful is the thought that in the last two months while waiting
for the little one to come into her arms, the mother’s thoughts should
be especially directed toward the highest and noblest possibilities of
her nature, and that by so doing she may endow her child with these
characteristics.
O mother, mother! As you learn these things, prove them in your own life;
and then your work is only begun; for you are bound by all the ties of
our common sisterhood to pass them on to mothers less favored than you,
that they too may learn the possibilities bound up in motherhood.
A noble rule among the early Christians was this: “Whenever you learn a
new and good thing, go and find some one that does not know it, and tell
him of it.” A blessed rule for us as mothers to follow. We who have had
some of the higher opportunities have a great responsibility resting upon
us.
I found a few months ago, in one of our religious papers a little poem
that appealed to me in its beauty and truthfulness. I cut it out and read
it over many times until the words were learned. It is too true, I said
to myself, but need it be so? No; it need not, if we reach out for the
noblest within us and claim our privileges.
I caught up my pen and in the meter that had sung itself into my heart, I
copied my own thoughts on the subject, and I will give them both to you.
THE BABY.
BY EMMA A. LENTE.
“She is a little hindering thing,”
The mother said,
“I do not have an hour of peace
Till she’s in bed.
“She clings unto my hand and gown
And follows me
About the house from room to room,
Talks constantly.
“She is a bundle full of nerves,
And wilful ways.
She does not sleep full sound at night,
Scarce any, days.
“She doesn’t like to hear the wind,
The dark she fears,
And piteously she calls to me
To wipe her tears.
“She is a little hindering thing,”
The mother said,
“But still she is my wine of life,
My daily bread.”
The children what a load of care
Their coming brings:
But oh, the grief when God doth stoop
To give them wings.
THE BABIES.
The children: what if months before
We planned their lot,
And never in the passing weeks,
Their good forgot?
What if, as little garments grew
From busy hands,
We wrought with tender patient care
The soul’s white bands?
And what if we both willed and prayed
That baby’s life
Should be a better one than ours
’Mid toil and strife?
So filled the weeks while waiting them
With full content,
That sweetness, joy and bubbling life
Were to them lent?
I’m sure this song would then be changed
And read more sweet;
We’d sing it to the dancing time
Of baby feet.
She’s such a little gladsome thing
The mother’d say,
I cannot have an hour of joy
When she’s away.
She is a bundle full of rest
And joyous ways;
She sleeps so sweetly round at night,
And fills my days.
She doesn’t mind about the wind,
The dark ne’er fears,
She laughs and sings and cuddles down
With smiles not tears.
She’s such a little helping thing
The mother’d say;
And is my very wine of life
From day to day.
Such children: what a load of love
Their coming brings:
But oh the grief when parents fail
To give them wings.