It is the tendency of the age to excuse many social errors in
young people, and especially is this true of the mischievous
pranks of college boys. If Harvard football heroes and their
“rooters,” for example, wish to let their hair grow long and wear
high turtle-necked red “sweaters,” corduroy trousers and huge
“frat” pins, I, for one, can see no grave objection, for “boys
will be boys” and I am, I hope, no “old fogy” in such matters.
But I also see no reason why these same young fellows should not
be interested in the graces of the salon and the arts of the
drawing-room. Consider, for example, the following two letters,
illustrating the correct and incorrect method in which two young
college men should correspond, and tell me if there is not some
place in our college curriculum for a Professor of Deportment:
An Incorrect Letter from a Princeton Student to a Yale Student
Congratulating the Latter on His Football Victory
DEAR MIKE:
Here’s your damn money. I was a fool to give you odds. ED. P. S. What
happened at the Nass? I woke up Sunday with a terrific welt on my
forehead and somebody’s hat with the initials L. G. T., also a Brooks
coat. Do you know whose they are? P. P. S. Please for God’s sake
don’t cash this check until the fifteenth or I’m ruined.
And here is the way in which I would suggest that this same
letter be indited.
A Correct Letter from a Princeton Student to a Yale Student
Congratulating the Latter on His Football Victory
MY DEAR “FRIENDLY ENEMY”:
Well, well, it was a jolly game, wasn’t it, and it was so good to see
you in “Old Nassau.” I am sorry that you could not have come earlier
in the fall, when the trees were still bronze and gold. I also regret
exceedingly that you did not stay over until Sunday, for it would
have been such a treat to have taken you to see the Graduate School
buildings and the Cleveland Memorial Tower. However, “better luck
next time.”
The enclosed check is, as you may well guess, in payment of our wager
on the result of the gridiron-contest. Truly, I am almost glad that I
lost, for I can not but think that gambling in any form is at best an
unprofitable diversion, and this has taught me, I hope, a lesson from
which I may well benefit. Do not think me a “prig,” dear Harry, I beg
of you, for I am sure that you will agree with me that even a
seemingly innocent wager on a football match may lead in later life
to a taste for gambling with dice and cards or even worse. Shall we
not agree to make this our last wager—or at least, next time, let us
not lend it the appearance of professional gambling by giving “odds,”
such as I gave you this year.
You must have thought it frightfully rude of me not to have seen you
to the train after that enjoyable evening at the Nassau Inn, but to
tell you the truth, Harry, the nervous excitement of the day proved
too much for me and I was forced to retire. My indisposition was
further accentuated by a slight mishap which befell me outside the
Inn but which need cause you no alarm as a scalp wound was the only
result and a few days’ rest in my cozy dormitory room will soon set
matters to rights. I trust, however, that you will explain to your
friends the cause of my sudden departure and my seeming
inhospitality. Such jolly fellows they were—and I am only too glad to
find that the “bulldogs” are as thoroughly nice as the chaps we have
down here. Incidentally, I discovered, somewhat to my dismay, as you
may well imagine, that in taking my departure I inadvertently “walked
off” with the hat and overcoat of one of your friends whose initials
are L. G. T. I am mortified beyond words and shall send the garments
to you by the next post with my deepest apologies to the unlucky
owner.
Rest assured, Harry my friend, that I am looking forward to visiting
you some time in the near future, for I have always been curious to
observe the many interesting sights of “Eli land.” Particularly
anxious am I to see the beautiful trees which have given New Haven
its name of “the City of Elms,” and the collection of primitive
paintings for which your college is justly celebrated. And in closing
may I make the slight request that you postpone the cashing of my
enclosed check until the fifteenth of this month, as, due to some
slight misunderstanding, I find that my account is in the unfortunate
condition of being “overdrawn.”
Believe me, Harry, with kindest regards to your nice friends and
yourself and with congratulations on the well deserved victory of
your “eleven,” Your devoted friend and well wisher, EDWARD ELLIS
COCHRAN.