Then, too, many young college men are deterred from becoming Dry
Agents by thinking of the comparative scantiness of the monetary
rewards. This difficulty is only an imaginary one—for, luckily,
as soon as a man’s code of honor has been elevated to the extent
that it permits him to take up a career of pussy-footing there is
generally eliminated at the same time any objection he might have
to what is often called bribery. Thus, by a fortunate combination
of circumstances, a Dry Agent is enabled to serve mankind and, at
the same time, greatly increase his own personal fortune.
But we cannot wait until our college graduates come to regard
pussyfooting as a career. We must do what we can with the
material at our disposal. We must in some way educate our present
Dry Agents so that they can go to any function in polite society
and remain as inconspicuous and as completely disregarded as the
host. As a first step in such a social training I offer the
following suggestions, in the hope that before long no function
will be complete without the presence of four or five correctly
dressed National Prohibition Enforcement Officers, ready and
eager to arrest the host and hostess and all the guests on the
slightest provocation.