Upon your arrival in the city where the wedding is to take place
you will be met by the bridegroom, who will take you to the home
of the bride where you are to stay. There you are met by the
bride’s father. “This is my best man,” says the groom. “The best
man?” replies her father. “Well, may the best man win.” At once
you reply, “Ha! Ha! Ha!” He then says, “Is this your first visit
to Chicago?” to which the correct answer is, “Yes, sir, but I
hope it isn’t my last.”
The bride’s mother then appears. “This is my best man,” says the
groom. “Well,” says she, “remember—the best man doesn’t always
win.” “Ha! Ha! Ha!” you at once reply. “Is this your first visit
to Chicago?” says she, to which you answer, “Yes—but I hope it
isn’t my last.”
You are then conducted to your room, where you are left alone to
unpack. In a few minutes the door will open and a small boy
enter. This is the brother of the bride. You smile at him
pleasantly and remark, “Is this your first visit to Chicago?”
“What are you doing?” is his answer. “Unpacking,” you reply.
“What’s that?” says he. “A cutaway,” you reply. “What’s that?”
says he. “A collar bag.” “What’s that?” “A dress shirt.” “What’s
that?” says he. “Another dress shirt.” “What’s that?” says he.
“Say, listen,” you reply, “don’t I hear some one calling you?”
“No,” says he, “what’s that?” “That,” you reply, with a sigh of
relief, “is a razor. Here—take it and play with it.” In three
minutes, if you have any luck at all, the bride’s brother will
have cut himself severely in several places which will cause him
to run crying from the room. You can then finish unpacking.