"You assume that your secretary is a _demoiselle du monde_"--she went
on--"if you have reached that far--you should know that there is some
honor, some _tenue_ left in old families,--and so you should treat her
with consideration, and respect her incognito.--All this is not like
you, my son!"
The Duchesse had dropped the "thee and thou"--it hurt me.
"I want to treat her with every respect--" I reiterated.
"Then believe me it is unnecessary for you to know her name--I am not
altogether pleased with you, Nicholas."
"Dear Duchesse! that grieves me--I wish I could explain--I have only
wanted to be kind--and I don't even know her address and could not send
flowers when her brother died."
"They did not want flowers, perhaps--Take my advice--of the best I can
give--Pay your secretary her wages--as high ones as she will accept--and
then treat her as if she were fifty years old--and wore glasses!"
"She does wear glasses--abominable yellow horn rimmed spectacles!" I
announced excitedly.--"Have you never seen them?"
The Duchesse's eyes flashed--.
"I have not said I ever met Miss Sharp, Nicholas--"
I knew the affair was now hopeless--and that I would only risk the real
displeasure of my dear old friend if I continued in this way. So I
subsided.--I had some instinct too that I would not receive sympathy
even if I owned that my intentions were strictly honourable.
"I will say no more--except that should you know these people _cherè
Duchesse_--and you ever discover that I could help them in any way--that
you will call upon me to any extent."
[Illustration: The fiery vixen Suzette (Renee Adoree) is enraged to
learn of Sir Nicholas' (Lew Cody) attentions to other women, and leaves
in a flurry. (A scene from Elinor Glyn's production "Man and Maid" for
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)]
She looked at me very searchingly and said laconically.
"_Bien._"
Then we talked of other things, and I tried to reingratiate myself--The
war was going better--Foch would wish to push his advantage. Things must
have some end--in the near future.--When was I going to England?--All
these subjects we discussed.
"When I am out of the hands of these doctors and have my new leg and
eye--I will return, and then, I want to go into Parliament."
The Duchesse warmed up at once.--That was just the thing for me to
do--that and to marry some nice girl of my own world, of which there
must be an embarrassment of choice--with all the men killed in my
country!
"I would want such an exceptional woman, Duchesse!"
"Do not look for the moon, my son--Be thankful if she has been
sufficiently well brought up to have a decent conduct--the manners of
the young girls now revolt me.--I try to go with the times----but these
new fashions are disgusting."
"Do you think a woman ought to be perfectly innocent and ignorant of
life to make the marriage happy--" I asked.
"The insides of the minds of young girls one is never sure of, but the
_tenue_ should be correct at all costs, so that they may have something
to uphold them as well as religion--which is no longer so surrounding
as it used to be."
"Duchesse, I want someone who would love me passionately, and whom I
could passionately love."
"For that, my poor boy--" and she sighed--"it is not found among young
girls--these things come after one knows, and can discriminate--put them
aside from your thoughts--they are temptations which one resists if one
can, and at all events makes no scandals about.--Love! _Mon Dieu_, it is
the song of the poets, it cannot happen in the world--with
satisfaction--It must be a pain always--Do your duty to your race, and
your class--and try not to mix up sentiment with it!"
"There is no hope of my finding someone I could really love, then?"
"I do not know--in your own country it may be--here it is the wife of
someone else who holds the charm--and if it were not for _tenue_ society
could not exist.
"All that one must ask of the young is that they act with discretion, so
that they can reach the autumn of life without scandals against their
names--If the _Bon Dieu_ adds love--then they have been indeed
fortunate."
"But Duchesse--with your great heart--have you never loved--?"
Her eyes seemed to grow beautiful and young again--they diffused a
fire--.
"Loved--Nicholas--! All women love once in their lives--happy for them
if it has not burnt their souls in its passage--Happy if the _Bon Dieu_
has let it merge into love for humanity--" And soft tears dimmed the
dark blue brilliancy.
I leaned forward and kissed her hand with deep devotion--then the
ancient servitor came in and she was called to a ward--but I left
feeling that if there is really some barrier of family between Alathea
and me--there would be no use in my appealing to the Duchesse--Sorrows
she understands--and war and suffering--and self-sacrifice--Love she
understands and passion--and all that appertains thereto--but all these
things go to the wall before the conception of the meaning of _noblesse
oblige_ which ruled when Adelaide de Mont Orgeuil--wedded the Duc de
Courville-Hautevine, in the eighties! The only thing left now was to
telephone to Maurice--.
He came in for a few minutes just before dinner--.
He has questioned Alwood Chester of the American Red Cross, who had told
him that Miss Sharp had been Miss Sharp always while she worked for
them, and that no one knew anything further about her.
Well!--if her father is a convict, and her mother--in a mad house, and
her sister consumptive--I still want her for herself--.
Is that true--Could I face disease and insanity coming into my family--?
I don't know--All I know is that I do not believe whatever curse hangs
over the rest it has touched her--She is the picture of health and
balance and truth--Her every action is noble--and I love her--I love
her--there!
Next day she came in at ten as usual--She brought all the chapters
annotated--. As her attitude towards me had been as cold as it was
possible for an attitude to be, I cannot say that there was any added
shade of contempt since her interview with Suzette--What had passed
between them perhaps Burton will be able gradually to discover--.
I controlled myself, and behaved with a businesslike reserve--She had
nothing to snub me for, or to disturb her--She took the papers at twelve
o'clock--and I sighed as she left the room--I had watched her furtively
for nearly two hours--Her face was a mask--And she might indeed really
have been concentrating upon the work in hand. Her hands are whitening
considerably--. I believe their redness had something to do with her
little brother, perhaps she put very hot things on his chest.--I have
never seen such a white skin--it shows like mother of pearl against the
cheap black frock--The line of the throat is like my fascinating Nymph
with the shell--indeed the mouth is not unlike her's also. I wonder if
she has dimp--but I had better not think of those things--!
I am now determined to ask her to marry me on the first occasion I can
screw up my courage sufficiently. I have decided what I am going to say.
I am going to be quite matter of fact--I shan't tell her that I love her
even--I feel if I can secure her first I shall have a better chance
afterwards. If she thought I loved her, her nature is of that honest
kind that she might think it was dishonorable to make so uneven a
bargain with me--but if she just thinks I want her for my secretary and
to play to me--and even perhaps that there is some brute part which she
despises mixed up in my feeling for her--and which I would promise to
keep in check--she may feel that it is fair for her to take my name, and
my money, and give me nothing in return.
After lunch, which we did not have together, George Harcourt came in,
and diverted me until four o'clock.
After we had discussed the war news for a long time he began as usual
about Violetta--.
She was perfection!--She had fulfilled all he had ever asked of a
woman--but--or rather in consequence of this--she had begun to bore him,
while a new vixen with no heart and the brain of a rabbit--now drew him
strangely!
"And what are you going to do about it, my dear George?"
"Deceive her of course, Nicholas. It is a painful necessity that my kind
heart forces me to perpetrate."
He was smoking contemplatively.