No one can tell another person what to talk about. Advice on that subject
is valueless. There are some things we may do, however, to make ourselves
agreeable in conversation. We may study the art of expressing ourselves
clearly,--saying what we wish to say without circumlocution. Some people
seem to begin in the middle of a subject and talk both ways.
Avoid personalities in your conversation. Don't talk about yourself;
nobody is interested in your personal perplexities and troubles. Don't
recite your "symptoms" nor tell what the doctor says, nor what diet he has
prescribed. Nothing, positively nothing, is so tiresome. Don't indulge in
animadversions upon the absent, nor make sarcastic remarks about them.
Try to discover some subject in which your companion is interested, and
get him to talking. Then show yourself a good listener. A woman may get
the reputation of being bright and clever if she will simply show herself
a good listener. To do this, she must give her attention to the person who
is talking. She must seem interested. Her eyes must not wander around the
room; she must not take up picture or book and glance over it; her
questions must be intelligent and to the point. Then, unless the speaker
is a well-known bore, she need never suffer under the imputation of being
neglected in society, and she will be thought courteous and intelligent.
Discourtesies.--To interrupt a speaker, to take the words out of his mouth
and finish the sentence for him, to broach a new topic, irrelevant to that
in hand, unless the latter is in danger of leading to thin conversational
ice,--all these are discourtesies.
To yawn while listening to anyone; to show lack of interest in a story or
anecdote that is being told, or let the attention wander, is marked
impoliteness. We are not to remind a speaker that his story is an old one,
or that he has told it before.
Some Things to Avoid.--A man should avoid raving over the perfections, the
beauty or chic of one woman to another. He shouldn't talk golf to one who
doesn't know the language of the game, nor discourse on music to the
unmusical. Above all, he shouldn't undertake to entertain the whole
company, nor introduce a topic in which he only is interested or informed.
The more serious questions of life are barred in society; people wish to
be amused, not instructed. An inveterate talker, especially one of a
didactic turn, is a bore. So is the man who puts a hobby through its
paces. Avoid exaggerations in conversation, also extravagances, such as
"beastly this" or "awfully that," also avoid over emphasis. Don't talk in
italics.
[776 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
The Speaking Voice.--A clear, distinct enunciation should be cultivated.
The voice need not--should not--be raised above the ordinary
conversational level to make one perfectly understood, if only one speaks
clearly. This is something that can be cultivated. So also a
discrimination in the use of words, so that which most nearly expresses
the meaning of the speaker comes to him readily.
A pleasant voice is a charm, either in man or woman. A noted teacher of
singing once remarked that the cultivation of the speaking voice is a
positive duty, and possible to almost everyone. Certainly a harsh,
squeaky, shrill or affected tone of voice may be improved by care and
endeavor.