A large number of young girls enter society without formal introductions.
After leaving school, they assume their social responsibilities with no
formality. It is seldom that a girl enters the social world under
eighteen, or over twenty-two. The early appearance implies no college
career; the later, that, she has spent several years at college or
finishing school.
Increasingly, however, it is becoming the custom to introduce the young
aspirant for social recognition at some function given in her honor. This
may be a ball, a reception, a "coming-out party," a dinner, a tea, at
which the debutante is introduced to the older members of the circle in
which she will move. Whereas her associates heretofore have been young
folk of her own age, she now meets the people of all ages who constitute
what we call society. Her circle of acquaintances will be much enlarged,
and her breeding will be judged by the manner in which she accepts her new
obligations.
A Grave Mistake.--The greatest mistake the debutante can make is to treat
with carelessness and lack of respect the matrons, young or old, to whom
she is introduced. In the arrogance of her youth and ignorance she may
think them "old frumps" and devote herself to her mates in age and
inexperience. But the "old frumps" hold the trump cards; she will be
dependent on them for invitations to many pleasant little functions,
especially those exclusive affairs to which it is an honor to be invited,
and if she is not personally agreeable, there will always be some one else
to take the place that might have been hers, for a chaperon often
influences a young man's invitations. Moreover, by her disrespect for age
and position she advertises her lack of good breeding and social training.
Her Dress.--The debutante dresses in white at her "coming-out party," as a
rule; white being supposed to typify her virginal attitude in the social
realm. The mother receives her guests with her daughter standing at her
side. It is not uncommon for two girls of about the same age who are close
friends to be introduced at the same function. The celebrant's friends
send flowers; sometimes the number of bouquets is so great that a screen
is arranged behind her on which they are displayed. Girls pique themselves
on the number of such tributes.
[722 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
If Not a Belle.--But suppose a girl is not pretty enough, nor rich enough,
nor attractive enough to become a social success. She will suffer
countless mortifications. In society, as in business, "Nothing succeeds
like success." If she is popular, she will have a very happy time as
debutante. If she is not "a success," her chaperon will despair of her.
She will be partnerless when other girls have too many; she will have to
retire to the dressing-room, deeply humiliated because unescorted to the
supper-room. She will be a wall-flower while others dance. Young men are
very selfish; unless a girl has some claim to consideration, personally,
or they expect invitations through her parents, they often will selfishly
neglect her.
What shall she do in such a case? She will be happier and more contented
to give up the losing fight, find some sphere that is congenial, and
determine to adorn it. There are many kinds of belles; she may make
herself a belle of the home, a belle in out-door sports, a queen of the
chafing-dish. Far better these humbler triumphs than neglect and
unhappiness in the social world.
A girl looks forward to her debut with many joyous anticipations, but
often finds her second social season a happier one than her first. She is
more sure of herself, less shy and reserved; little things--the small
mistakes made through ignorance--do not worry her so much; she has gained
ease and grace of manner, having shed her self-consciousness.