both in religion and in politics. In modern spiritualism we have
entranced women, who give us reports from the dead. In modern crusades
we have devout women, who visit tippling-houses and convert them into
sanctuaries of prayer. In politics we have mismated and unmated women,
who hold conventions, clamor for the ballot, and advocate the doctrine
of "natural selection."
It is true that every marriageable woman has a natural right to select,
if not elect, a husband; and this she may and ought to do, not by
ballot, but by the influence of her charms and her virtues. If all
marriageable men and women were but crystallized into happy families,
earth would soon become a paradise. Yet if this were done, we doubt not
there would still remain some "strong-minded" women, who would get up a
convention to reform paradise. The truth is, the women will do pretty
much as they please, and the best way is to let them.
Yet all must admit that a woman of refinement is not only a ruling
spirit, but "a power behind the throne greater than the power on the
throne." Her rights are therefore within her own grasp. Among these she
has the right, and to her belongs the responsible duty, of educating her
children in first principles, and in those sanctified lessons which
have been revealed to man from heaven. It is the mother's precepts
which constitute the permanent foundation of the child's future
character. Hence no woman is really competent to discharge the
responsible duties of a mother as she ought, unless she has first been
properly educated. There can be no object more deserving of
commiseration, perhaps, than a mother who is surrounded by a family of
young children, and yet is so ignorant as to be unable to instruct them
in the rudiments of a common-school education and in the fundamental
principles of a Christian life. The character of every child, it may be
assumed, is essentially formed at seven years of age. The mother of
Washington knew this, and felt it, and in the education of her son,
taught him at an early age the leading truths of Christianity. She took
the Bible for her guide, and taught him to take the Bible for his guide.
His subsequent career proves that he adhered to the instructions of his
mother. When he came to pay her a visit, at the close of the war, after
an absence of seven long years, she received him with the overflowing
heart of a mother, as her dutiful son, and thought of him only as a
dutiful son, never uttering a word in reference to the honors he had won
as a military chieftain.
Soon after this, General Lafayette, wishing to make the acquaintance of
the mother of Washington before returning to France, called at her
residence in Virginia, and introduced himself. He found her at work in
the garden, clad in a homespun dress, and her gray head covered with a
plain straw hat. She saluted him kindly, and calmly remarked, "Ah,
Marquis, you see an old woman; but come, I can make you welcome in my
poor dwelling without the parade of changing my dress." In the course of
conversation Lafayette complimented her as the mother of a son who had
achieved the independence of his country, and acquired lasting honors
for himself. The old lady, without the least manifestation of gratified
pride, simply responded, "I am not surprised at what George has done,
for he was always a very good boy." What a noble response, in its moral
grandeur, was this! Certain it is that such a mother was worthy of such
a son. A monument, plain, yet expressive in its design, has been erected
at Fredericksburg to her memory. It bears this simple, yet sublime
inscription:
"Mary, the Mother of Washington."
The extent of woman's moral power can only be limited by the extent of
her capacities. In every circle, whether domestic, social, or political,
the accomplished woman is a central power--_imperium in imperio_; and
though she may not directly exercise the right of suffrage, yet her
influence and her counsels, even an expression of her wish, enable her
to control the political, as well as the social, destinies of men and of
nations. It is in this way that she may "have her way." It was the
accomplished wife of Mr. Monroe who made him President of the United
States. She was the first to propose his name as a candidate. Her
influence with members of Congress induced them to concur in advocating
his election; he was elected. His administration, as we all know, was
distinguished as "the era of good feeling."
The prevalent idea that women need less education than men is a gross
error, worthy of heathendom perhaps, but entirely unworthy of
Christendom. Let women be as generally and as liberally educated as men,
and, my word for it, the question of woman's rights would soon settle
itself. The right of women to be thus educated cannot be doubted,
because it is a divine right, and because God has made woman the
maternal teacher of mankind, and the chief corner-stone of the social
fabric. Yet she should be educated with reference to her proper sphere
as woman,--a sphere which is higher than that of man in the economy of
Nature. Her capacities for industrial pursuits, such as are consistent
with her physical abilities, should be developed so that she may be
qualified to provide for herself, and to sustain herself in life's
battle, if need be, without the aid of a "companion in arms."
Nevertheless, marriage is one of Heaven's irrevocable laws. It is, in
fact, the great law of all animal-life, and even of plant-life. Nowhere
in Nature is there a single instance in which this law is not obeyed, in
due time, except in the case of mankind. Why is this? It certainly would
not be so if it were not for some grand defect in our social
system,--some false notions acquired by education, which are peculiar to
our civilization, and which induce apostasy to truth and natural
justice. Man was created to be the protector of woman, and woman to be
the helpmeet of man. Each therefore has an appropriate sphere; and the
obligations of each are mutual, growing out of their mutual interest and
dependence. The sphere of the one is just as important as the sphere of
the other. Neither can live, nor ought to live, without the aid, the
love, and the sympathy of the other. Whether so disposed or not, neither
can commit an infraction of the other's rights, without violating a law
of Nature.
Whatever may be the evils of our present social or political system, it
is evident that the right of suffrage, if extended to woman, could not
afford a remedy, but on the contrary, would tend to weaken, rather than
strengthen, mutual interests, by creating unwomanly aspirations and
domestic dissensions, thus sundering the ties of love and affection
which naturally exist between the sexes. In a word, it would be opening
Pandora's box, and letting escape the imps of social and political
discord, and finally result in universal misrule, if not in positive
anarchy.
Modesty and delicacy are the crowning characteristics of a true woman.
She naturally shrinks from the storms of political strife. Give her the
right of suffrage,--a boon no sensible woman desires; place her in
office, in the halls of legislation, in the Presidential chair; enrobe
her with the judicial ermine, or make her the executive officer of a
criminal tribunal,--and how could she assume the tender relations of a
mother, and at the same time officiate in any of these high places of
public trust, in which the sternest and most inflexible duties are often
required to be performed?
It is not possible, however, that the erratic comets, whose trailing
light occasionally flashes athwart our political sky, will ever acquire
sufficient momentum to jostle the "fixed stars" out of place, because
there is a fixed law of Nature which preserves them in place. There is
also a law of Nature which makes man not only the protector, but the
worshipper, of woman,--a worship which is as instinctively paid as
reciprocated, and which is by no means inconsistent with the worship of
God, but in truth is a part of it. It is this kind of worship--this
natural and holy impulse of the heart--which constitutes the basis of
man's rights and of woman's rights, and should harmonize all their
relations in life.
We see the instinctive exhibition of man's reverence for women almost
every day of our lives, and often in a way that proves how ridiculous
are modern theories in regard to woman's rights, when brought to the
test in practical life. Not long since, in one of our cities where a
woman's rights convention was in session, a strong-minded female
delegate entered a street railway car, when an old gentleman arose to
give her his seat, but at that moment, suspecting her to be a delegate,
asked, "Be you one of these women's righters?"--"I am." "You believe a
woman should have all the rights of a man?"--"Yes, I do." "Then stand up
and enjoy them like a man." And stand up she did,--the old gentleman
coolly resuming his seat, to the great amusement of the other
passengers.
Whatever maybe the pretensions of agitators, it is certain that no
woman of refined culture, or of proper self-respect, will attempt to
step outside of her appropriate sphere. This she cannot do if she would,
without doing violence to the sensibilities of her nature. When true to
herself, woman, like the lily-of-the-valley, prefers the valley, where
she can display her native loveliness in comparative retirement, secure
from the inclemencies of a frowning sky; while man, born with a more
rugged nature, prefers, like the sturdy oak, to climb the hills and the
mountains, where he delights to breast the assaults of storm and
tempest, and to fling the shadow of his stately form over the valley, as
if to protect the ethereal beauty of the lily from the too ardent gaze
of the sun. And, though a solitary flower may sometimes be seen climbing
the mountain height, it is only the modest lily-of-the-valley--the true
woman--whose cheering smile man aspires to share, and whose purity of
character calls into exercise his reverent admiration.
"Honored be woman! she beams on the sight,
Graceful and fair as an angel of light;
Scatters around her, wherever she strays,
Hoses of bliss on our thorn-covered ways;
Roses of paradise, sent from above,
To be gathered and twined in a garland of love!"
AIM HIGH.
In addressing you as a graduating class, permit me to suggest for your
consideration a few thoughts on the importance of regarding self-culture
not only as a duty, but as the only means of elevating and ennobling
your aspirations in life.
Though you have completed your academical course with a degree of
success which does you credit, you should remember that the great work
of education still lies before you, and that the formation of your
characters and the shaping of your destinies are committed to your own
hands. And here let me assure you that it is little rather than great
things which mark the character of a true gentleman. In fact, there is
but one way in which a refined education can be acquired, and that is,
"little by little."
It is thus from day to day, from year to year, from everybody, and from
everything, that you may learn, if you will, something new, something
useful; and though you care not to do it, yet you will, in spite of
yourselves, learn something, good or evil, just as you may choose to
apply it.
You certainly have the power to choose between good and evil,--in other
words, to achieve the loftiest aims. Yet in directing your aspirations,
you must adapt means to ends; collect your materials and refine them,
and in refining them give them the brilliancy of costly jewels,--jewels
which you can wear with becoming grace and dignity wherever you may go,
and at all times and under all circumstances.
The acquisition of a mere book-knowledge, however desirable, will avail
you but little, unless you acquire at the same time correct habits and
principles, united with refinement of manners. The world will be likely
to take your personal appearance, your style of dress and address, as
the true index of your character, and whether deceived at first view or
not, will finally estimate you at your true value. In perfecting your
education, it is not to be expected that you are to master every branch
of human learning, but rather that you are to make your life a life of
thought, of study, of observation, of strife to excel in all that is
good, and in doing good.
In attempting to achieve great things in the world, you must not
overlook little things,--little attentions, little civilities due to
others with whom you may come in contact; for your claims to
consideration will be estimated by the character of your conduct in
social life. There are certain conventionalities recognized in good
society which you must respect, and to which you must conform, if you
would be well received. Your manners and habits are therefore of vital
importance as elements of character.
It has been truly said that man is a "bundle of habits." It may be said
with equal truth that our own worst enemies are "bad habits." We all
know that bad habits fasten themselves upon us, as it were, by stealth;
and though we may not perceive the influence which they exert over us,
yet other persons perceive it, remark it, and judge us accordingly. The
formation of correct habits in early life is comparatively easy, while
the correction of bad habits, when once formed, is always difficult,
especially in more advanced years. In a word, if you would become model
characters, you must discard all bad habits, all odd habits, all that is
ungracious or ungraceful in word, deed, or manner, and make it the
leading rule of your life to observe the proprieties of life in all
places and under all circumstances. In order to achieve all this, it is
indispensable that you should study yourselves, watch yourselves,
criticise yourselves, and know yourselves as others know you. The value
of self-examination has been forcibly as well as beautifully expressed
in a single stanza by Robert Burns,--
"O wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursel's as ithers see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion!"
It is true that in relation to the laws of etiquette many books have
been written, which are in fact more read than observed, and which are
more perplexing than practical. No lady or gentleman was ever made truly
polite, truly agreeable, truly amiable, by a strict observance of
artificial rules. Something more is needed; something must be done. It
is in the heart, in the exercise of all the moral and Christian virtues,
that true politeness has its foundation. True politeness is never
selfish, never ostentatious, but always overflowing with kindness,
always angelic in its attributes. In word and deed, it is always
considerate, delicate, and graceful; yet in its ministrations it always
preserves its own self-respect, while it manifests its sincere respect
for all that is good and for all that is meritorious.
Heaven has imposed on us the duty of acquiring all the knowledge we can.
In discharge of this heaven-born duty, we should begin at once the
great work of self-culture,--a work never to be discontinued. He who
would build a spacious and a lofty temple, a fit dwelling-place for
divinity, must first lay the foundations broad and deep,--not in sand,
but on a rock; and then, though storm and tempest beat against it, it
cannot fall, because it is founded on a rock.
But in adopting a system of self-culture, too much care cannot be
bestowed on the cultivation of your manners, your attitudes, your style
of conversation, and your expression of sentiment. In regard to manners,
it is impossible to prescribe exact rules. The best models for you to
copy are to be found in the manners of the model men and women of our
country who give tone to society. At any rate, be governed by good sense
and by the dictates of nature, so modified by art as to conceal art. To
disguise art is the perfection of art. In this lies the secret power of
angelic charms,--the charm of polished womanhood and manhood.
In your social intercourse employ a pure and unambitious style of
diction, and be careful to maintain a quiet and unobtrusive deportment;
and above all things avoid singularities and eccentricities, nor attempt
to attract attention for the sake of gratifying an overweening vanity.
And while you manifest a due respect for others, be careful to maintain
your own self-respect. Never indulge in exhibiting violence of temper;
but on all occasions control your feelings and expressions, though
provocations arise which justly excite your indignation.
If you would attain to the highest possible standard of social
refinement and moral virtue, you must rely on yourselves, must look into
the mirror of your own hearts and behold your own defects, and then
proceed at once to apply the appropriate remedies. To do this
effectively may cost you much labor, yet the task will be found
comparatively easy when you have resolved to execute it.
It is not only your privilege, but your duty, to acquire knowledge from
every source, as the bee gathers honey from every flower. Collect and
compare facts; for in every fact, whether great or small, there lies hid
a lesson of wisdom,--a logic which is not only irresistible, but divine.
Theories are of but little value unless attested by facts. All mere
theories are alike worthless, whether they relate to the physical or
moral world. "Prove all things, and hold fast that which is good." No
better rule than this, for your guidance through life, ever was or ever
can be given. Facts, though "stubborn things," are never falsehoods. You
may therefore regard facts as truth, as the kind of mental food you
should acquire, digest, and convert into nutriment, and thus grow strong
and wise, until you have realized the great fact that "man was created
but a little lower than the angels."
For the purpose of self-culture, in its highest sense, an ordinary
lifetime seems quite too short, though prolonged to threescore years and
ten. The value of time cannot be overestimated. If we would but consider
how many precious moments we fritter away and lose in an unprofitable
manner, we should see that it is the want of a due regard for the value
of time, rather than a want of time, of which we should complain. It is
not, therefore, the fault of a Divine Providence that we have not time
enough to perfect ourselves in the arts of a refined civilization, and
in the realization of the highest enjoyment of which our nature is
capable. Whatever else you may lose, never lose a moment of time which
can be profitably employed. A moment of time once lost can never be
regained. Insignificant as a moment may seem, your destiny may depend on
the improvement you may make of it, on the deed or thought it may
prompt. Life, though long, is made up of moments, and terminates in a
moment; and all true knowledge is founded in truth.
If you would prolong your lives, and enjoy health and happiness
accompanied with vigor of mind, study the laws of health and obey them.
Make yourselves thoroughly acquainted with yourselves, by becoming
acquainted with the physiology of the human system, and by living in
compliance with the requisitions of its principles. Nature is the best
physician you can employ, whatever may be your malady; but in order to
be healed by her prescriptions, you must apply to her in time, and adopt
the uniform and temperate habits of life which her laws require.
It is said that Nature has her favorites. This may be true. It would
seem that some persons are born poets, some philosophers, some fiddlers,
some one thing, and some another. It may be said that such persons are
specialists, born to accomplish a special purpose. They doubtless
subserve the interests of mankind as models, or standards of merit, in
their respective specialties; yet to be born a genius is not in itself a
matter of merit, but it is the good one does in the world which creates
merit and crowns life with honors.
Nearly all of our truly great men are men of self-culture, who have
acquired brains by the slow process of a lifelong industry in the
pursuit of knowledge. This class of men are not only much more numerous
than born geniuses, but much more useful. They have a wider range of
intellect and wield a wider influence. They are men who read, think, and
digest what they read. In their choice of books they select standard
authors. They are not book-worms, devouring everything that is
published; nor are they literary dyspeptics, who feed on sentimentalism
and French cookery, but hale, hearty men, who prefer common-sense and
roast beef,--caring more for the quality of their food than for the
quantity.
The world in which we live is a beautiful world. He who made it
pronounced it good, and designed it for the residence of the good. It is
in itself a paradise for all who choose to make it a paradise. In a
physical sense, it is not only a beautiful world, but a great storehouse
full of knowledge, full of wisdom, full of facts,--a record of the past
and of the future, written by a divine hand. In short, it is the great
Book of Life--of Revelation--in every word of which we may find an
outspoken thought,--
"Tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything."
In estimating your life-work, you should feel that yours is a high
destiny, and that much is expected of you. If you would succeed in the
world, you must have faith in yourselves as well as in a Divine
Providence, and act upon the principle that "God helps those who help
themselves." Wherever you go, make yourselves as acceptable and as
agreeable to all with whom you come in contact as possible. If you would
be preferred, prefer others; and if you would be beloved, scatter
flowers by the wayside of life, but never plant thorns, and in all you
do and say, unite modesty with simplicity and sincerity.
There can be no true manhood or womanhood that does not rest on
character, in the highest sense of the term. In fact, it is the
character we bear that defines our social position. The formation of
character is a work of our own, and requires the exercise of all the
better and higher powers of our nature. On character depends not only
our usefulness in life, but our individual happiness. Character is the
engraved mark, or sign, by which every individual is known, and
indicates the essential traits of his moral composition, the qualities
of his head and heart, as displayed in his aspirations and in the work
of his life. Character is more enduring than reputation. God respects
character; man respects reputation. The one is as lasting as eternity;
the other as evanescent as the bubble that glitters in the sunshine for
a moment, and then disappears forever.
In forming a true character, such an one as crowns the true man with an
imperishable diadem, there are many things to be considered, especially
the materials which enter into its moral masonry. Its foundation must be
solid and immovable, its superstructure chaste and elegant, and its
proportions harmonious and beautiful. Like a temple built for the gods,
it should be worthy of the gods. It should be not only beautiful in its
exterior, but be in its interior the life-work of a truly heroic soul.
Character represents soul. As character is moulded by human
instrumentalities, so is soul. Soul is therefore the essence of a true
manhood, a living principle that cannot die. It is an influence in
itself, and out of itself, felt everywhere and forever. It is the moral
life and the eternal life. Like a pebble cast into the broad ocean, its
impulse is sensibly felt by the entire ocean; every particle moves a
particle, until the vast deep is moved. Such is individual influence. If
character, then, be what it should be, truthful, noble, divine, it will
necessarily be godlike, and exert an influence in harmony with the
benevolent designs of Heaven.