you ever talk to me again like that. Do you hear? Leave me--go away! I
don't want you to walk a step further with me! Go home! I hope I will
never, never see you again!' and she turned her back on him indignantly.
Ah Moy made no response, but still stuck gamely at her side. She walked
faster; so did he, keeping right in line. For a square or so they
hurried along. Then she gave it up, slowed down, and said mildly, 'I am
glad, of course, that you are fond of me, Ah Moy. I want all the members
of my class to like me. I am trying to do a good part by you, and I hope
some day to see you back in your native land leading your people to the
light; but you have a great deal to learn yet. Besides,' she added
thoughtfully, reverting to his unlucky remark, 'haven't you a wife in
China?'
"'I have _two_ wifee in old countly,' replied Ah Moy proudly, 'but I
have none in 'Mellica--not a single wifee--no, not one! Ah Moy want
'Mellican wifee, so ba-ad, so ba-ad!' he said plaintively.
"Miss Cragiemuir was seized with a wild desire to shriek with laughter,
but she wisely suppressed it. She felt that with the frank avowal of her
scholar the end of her usefulness at Bethany was drawing near. It
sobered and saddened her.
"Ah Moy accompanied her in sullen silence to the door of the house in K
Street. Well-dressed church-goers gazed curiously at the pair, and many
facetious remarks were bandied about. Fragments of this found their way
to the ear of Major Cragiemuir as he was taking his afternoon airing in
the park, and filled him with wrath. The Major is a testy, pompous
specimen of the retired army officer, and takes himself very seriously.
His sense of dignity and propriety is never for a moment in abeyance,
and covers himself and all his belongings like a pall.
"'This thing shall be stopped,' he declared, fuming with rage. 'I have
put up with Janet's infernal nonsense long enough! I won't have her the
laughing stock of the town! She shall give up this Chinese Sunday-school
business at once! But what next, what next?' he groaned 'Really, Janet
is getting quite beyond me--something decisive will have to be done.
Each new fad is more damnable than the other! Will there never be any
let up? God knows I have been a good father, and let her have her own
way in everything--nearly everything; but this is going a little too
far! If her mother had lived things would have been so different. Ah,
me!' And muttering angrily to himself, he whacked the inoffending
shrubbery with his cane.
"The old gentleman's walk was quite spoiled.
"When Miss Cragiemuir and Ah Moy reached the house in K Street the young
woman thanked her pupil for his escort, and politely wished him a good
afternoon. As she was about to leave him he madly seized her around the
waist, exclaiming, 'Ah Moy kissee you good-bye!' and tried his best to
do so. Miss Cragiemuir screamed, and nearly fainted with fright.
Luckily, the Major turned the corner just at this moment, and speedily
took in the situation. He rushed at the Chinaman, hurling him to the
pavement, and beat him soundly with his ever-ready stick. Then he
bestowed several well-directed kicks upon the prostrate form. Ah Moy
scrambled to his feet and fled, closely pursued by the enraged Major;
but the nimble-footed Chink managed to make good his escape, darting
into a friendly alley, and disappearing.
"The terrified girl hurried into the house, and received shortly
afterward from her father a brief, but spirited lecture, which she will
long remember. He sternly declared, after touching upon all of her
hobbies,--he called them by a stronger name,--that if she continued to
give him trouble he would close up the Washington house and live in
future at The Oaks, the Cragiemuir place down in Maryland. This dire
threat proved most effectual, for Janet hated The Oaks, and she recalled
with disagreeable vividness one never-to-be-forgotten year spent there
as a child. So she went to her room and wrote to the superintendent at
Bethany that a sudden change in her plans would force her to give up her
class. The letter, a masterpiece in its way, closed with expressions of
the deepest regret, and was duly received by the excellent Mr. Bagby,
who felt that both Bethany and himself had sustained an irreparable
loss.
"But the affair of the Chinaman by no means ended here.
"Ten minutes after his unpleasant encounter with Major Cragiemuir, Ah
Moy arrived at his place of business in Four-and-a-half Street, a mass
of bruises, and with a heart full of hatred for his assailant. Perhaps,
after all, the fellow had meant no harm. In his guileless, imitative way
he had simply tried to do what he had often seen American young men do.
Had he not frequently observed big Policeman Ryan kiss the red-haired
widow who kept the lodging-house around on Missouri Avenue? Did not
Muggsy Walker--across the street--salute his sweetheart in the same
manner? Ah Moy had many times witnessed what struck him as a most absurd
ceremony on the part of the foreign devils; but he had watched them
closely, though, and flattered himself that he too could do the proper
thing when occasion called for it. He had, in fact, done so, and was
beaten for his pains! This was a h--l of a country, anyhow, thought he;
after this he would stick to the good old ways of his native land, and
have a whole skin to his credit. The teachings of a long line of
philosophical ancestors were by no means lost upon this their up-to-date
descendant. No more monkey tricks for him!
"On the night of the beating, Ah Moy did not feel equal to presiding
over the tables, so the resort was closed for the first time in many
months. Down in the dark sub-cellar he soothed his ruffled feelings with
a long, quiet smoke, and meditated upon elaborate though somewhat
impracticable schemes of revenge as he lay in his bunk.
"Several days later the Chinaman, still sore and in a bad humor, swung
himself on a car for Sam Yen's, whose laundry was some distance up town.
Yen was a quiet, easygoing fellow, and Ah Moy thought it great fun to
badger and worry him whenever there was nothing more promising in view.
On this particular morning Ah Moy found Yen shaking with a chill, and
almost too weak to drag himself across the room. Sam scarcely replied to
his tormentor's teasing, and the latter was about to leave the place in
disgust, when a well-known countenance appeared in the doorway, and
Dennis Coogan came in.
"Coogan was Major Cragiemuir's factotum, and Ah Moy, who had spent many
a weary hour opposite the house in K Street waiting to catch a glance of
Janet Cragiemuir, knew him by sight. Coogan presented a ticket and
demanded his 'wash.' Sam Yen reached feebly for the pink slip of paper,
peered up and down the rows of bundles on the shelves, and finally
announced that the garments were not ready, but would be later in the
day. Coogan then stalked out, stating that he would call again at five
o'clock, sternly warning Sam not to disappoint him. Coogan aped the
Major to the life, and Ah Moy, recognizing the caricature, hated him
heartily for it. Yet, the Chinaman, sitting behind the counter, with his
eyes nearly closed, paid but scanty attention to the customer; but when
Coogan left, a look of supreme cunning flitted over his wooden face. He
was silent for a few moments, and then, to the surprise and delight of
Yen, volunteered to remain and complete the day's work, urging the sick
man to turn in until he felt better. Sam Yen gladly accepted the offer
of his kindly disposed countryman, and Ah Moy hurriedly left for his own
laundry to get, he said, a very superior polishing iron, promising to
return in a few moments. When he found himself on Pennsylvania Avenue
near Four-and-a-half Street he entered the tea, spice, and curio
emporium of Quong Lee.
"Quong Lee was not only a shrewd merchant, but a skilful chemist as
well, and was regarded with deep reverence and esteem by his fellows.
The eminent man, had he been a trifle taller, would have readily been
taken for the great Li Hung Chang, spectacles and all; and it was owing
as much to this wonderful resemblance as to his wisdom and learning that
Chinatown groveled at his feet. He received Ah Moy effusively when the
latter, breathless and excited, burst into the stuffy little room at the
rear of the shop.
"'Welcome, thrice welcome, oh, Beautiful One,' said Quong Lee (not in
English, but in the liquid dialect of the Shansi region). 'It fills my
heart with joy to see you. Why have you thus deserted the lifelong
friend of your father?'
"Ah Moy smiled sardonically, for he had parted from Quong Lee but at
sunrise that morning, after a warm discussion over some of the nicer
points of the game, and the old man's query appealed very strongly to
his by no means undeveloped sense of humor.
"'Most excellent and revered sage,' replied Ah Moy dryly, 'pardon the
unheard-of negligence, and generously deign to overlook the
thoughtlessness of your sorrowing servant--do that; and, Quong Lee, you
must help me! Quickly! Quickly! I want a poison such as you can easily
distil. A mixture so deadly that the slightest contact with it is fatal!
Give me that, I pray you, and let me go. Hurry! Hurry! I am in haste!'
"'You ask much of me, Ah Moy, after your harsh, ill-timed words of the
morning,' remarked Quong Lee coldly.
"'Forget them, O Munificent; forget them,' said Ah Moy, deeply
contrite. 'Carried away by excitement, your abject slave considered
but lightly what he then so foolishly said, and now so fervently
regrets--and--and--let's drop this powwow, Quong Lee. I have no time for
it! I tell you, man, I am in a hurry!'
"Now, Quong Lee, while wholly in Ah Moy's power, and quite well aware of
it, exacted from all of his countrymen a certain amount of deference,
and was loath that his visitor should prove an exception to this
gratifying rule. Ah Moy knew this, but the little farce was becoming
very irksome to him; it took up too much of his always valuable time,
and he intended to forego it in future. Quong Lee, thought he, was a
tiresome old goat who badly needed his whiskers trimmed and his horns
sawed off; and he, Ah Moy, was the man for the job.
"'I am indeed fortunate,' said Quong Lee, ignoring Ah Moy's concluding
remark, 'tremendously lucky, in fact, for I think I have in my
laboratory just what you desire. Yes, I am sure of it. I will get it
without further delay.' He took down a lighted lantern from the wall,
and lifting a trap door at the end of the room, plunged into the
darkness. From the opening nasty, suffocating smells arose, and Ah Moy
was driven out to the shop, where he impatiently awaited his learned
friend. That worthy soon reappeared, and paying no attention whatever to
the odors, beckoned Ah Moy into the room. Ah Moy approached gingerly.
"'My beloved child,' said Quong Lee, exhibiting the regulation tiny
phial of romance containing a few drops of a white liquid, 'here is a
poison ten-fold more subtle and deadly than that ejected from the fangs
of the cruel serpent of the plain. The merest scratch from a weapon
dipped in it will effect instant death. The victim curls up as a tender
leaf in the midday sun. Yet it may be taken into the stomach with
impunity. Strange, is it not? The minute quantity that you see here is
all that I possess, and I shall feel honored if you will accept it.
But,' he added, clutching Ah Moy by the wrist, 'should trouble come,
remember that I--Quong Lee----'
"'Trust me for that, venerable Uncle of the Moon; your name shall not be
breathed in the matter, whatever happens. Ah Moy is not the man to bring
misfortune upon the lifelong friend of his father,' and the fiendish
chuckle which accompanied this remark filled the merchant-chemist with
alarm.
"'A million thanks, O Illustrious,' continued Ah Moy, pocketing the
phial. 'I shall never forget your generosity. In good time I shall
repay. Ah Moy will not prove ungrateful. Pardon this brief visit, O
revered wearer of the crimson blouse. We meet again to-night. Bathed in
the glow of thy approving smile, I leave thee. We meet again to-night,
to-night. For the present, farewell. And I say, old 'un, you were dead
wrong about that last game. You get a little dippy toward morning, don't
you? Most old folks do. Ta, ta.' He glided out, slamming the door behind
him.
"Quong Lee followed his guest to the street, and watched his retreating
figure until lost to sight.
"'Curse him! Curse him!' hissed the old man vindictively. 'May the gods
destroy him! And Quong Lee will aid them! Give me but the chance; oh,
give me but the chance!' And he crossed his fingers.
"The subject of this cheerful soliloquy returned without delay to Sam
Yen's, who welcomed him with a wan smile, and after explaining some
minor details of the work, crept off to his cot. Ah Moy immediately
began his self-imposed task, and worked with a will, crooning the while
a quaint Celestial air. It was ironing day at Sam Yen's, and the new
hand did not object particularly to that part of the process. By a
quarter after four he had completed the job, and surveyed with much
satisfaction the neat bundles, duly ranged on the shelves.
"Dennis Coogan arrived at dusk, and throwing down his ticket and some
small change on the counter, walked off with his parcel, mumbling
something uncomplimentary about the dirty haythin' who kept honest folks
waitin' for their clothin'. Later in the evening Sam Yen appeared, much
refreshed, and relieved his kind assistant. Ah Moy then left, cutting
short the thanks of his countryman.
"Honesty is the best policy, and it is to be regretted that this astute
maxim had not been more thoroughly kneaded into the moral make-up of Mr.
Dennis Coogan. Arriving at the house in K Street, Coogan, sneaking
through a side entrance and across the yard at the rear, took his
master's clothing up to his own little room over the stables, where he
carefully selected such articles as seemed to strike his fancy. It was
the night of the coachmen's ball, and Dennis did not propose to be
eclipsed at that event by any Jehu who ever handled the ribbons. So
there in readiness lay the hired dress-suit, the Major's gleaming linen,
and the other necessaries of evening attire. Coogan leisurely donned the
unaccustomed plumage, paying as much attention to his toilet as a
debutante when arraying herself for her first cotillion. After
struggling into a remarkably obstinate shirt he selected the highest
collar he could find, put it on, and admiringly surveyed the general
effect in a cracked mirror, turning his head this way and that as he did
so. Suddenly, with a gasping cry, he lurched forward, and fell heavily
to the floor.
"Great was the horror and distress in the Cragiemuir household the next
morning when the shockingly discolored body of the ill-fated Coogan was
found. Major Cragiemuir, who was attached to the man, was sorely grieved
by his death; and as there were no relatives to claim the body had the
poor fellow buried from the K Street house, which was closed until after
the funeral. The family physician and his confreres who examined the
corpse were puzzled for some time as to the cause of Coogan's death.
Cases of this sort, they solemnly declared, while not unknown to the
profession, were yet extremely rare; and the long scientific name which
was inscribed on the register at the health office as the disease that
carried off Dennis Coogan had certainly never been seen there before.
The slight scratch under the chin made by one of the sharp points of the
collar was quite unnoticed in the rigid inspection to which the body was
subjected.
"On the evening following the untimely death of Dennis Coogan, impelled
by a curiosity which he could not resist, Ah Moy sought out the
fashionable neighborhood where the Cragiemuirs resided, and found, as he
had scarcely dared hope, the mansion closed and the badge of mourning on
the door. He saw a dim light burning in the front parlor, and in his
excited fancy could see the still form of the hated Major reposing in
the satin-lined casket beneath the flickering gas jets. The Chinaman
laughed aloud, and then a look of supreme terror came into his face, for
he thought he saw a menacing figure leave the house, and with clenched
fists start over to him.
"Ah Moy, shrieking, turned and fled.
[Illustration: "Ah Moy, shrieking, turned and fled!"]
"He finally took refuge from his imaginary pursuer at Wo Hong's. Here he
drank repeatedly a fiery liquor which the proprietor, serenely
untroubled by the revenue laws, dispensed to his pals for a trifle. When
Ah Moy staggered into his den several hours later, Quong Lee, who had
arrived on the scene, noted with much satisfaction the ghastly
appearance of his friend.
"'If he keeps this up for any length of time,' thought the learned man,
'I shall be spared the performance of a very unpleasant act. Murder is
not in my line--now--anyway. It is trying work for an old man like
me--and the police forever at one's heels!'
"Leaving his associates in charge of the tables, Ah Moy wearily sought
the adjoining room, a filthy, ill-lighted apartment, with rows of bunks
along its sides. Opening a cupboard he drew forth a pipe and a small jar
of opium. His stained fingers trembled violently as he rolled a much
larger pill than usual and placed it in the bowl of his pipe. He had
consumed a frightful quantity of the stuff in the past few days, and his
nerves were in just the condition that required a larger amount than
ever to quiet them.
"He stretched himself at full length in the nearest bunk and proceeded
to lull the awful fantasies which threatened his reason. With a moan he
buried his face in his pillow; for at the end of the room he saw a grim
phantom whom, he felt sure, the doubly accursed Quong Lee had
maliciously admitted. The old man should pay dearly for this on the
morrow! Ah Moy felt his fingers tightening convulsively around the
throat of the dying Quong Lee; he could hear the croaking in his
victim's wind-pipe, and the gruesome death-rattle! The sounds were all
well known to the Chinaman, and recalled a chain of lurid experiences.
"'I should have done it before,' he muttered, as in his fancy he kicked
the body aside.
"He grew calmer. There was a bright gleam of hope in the thought that
with the death of Major Cragiemuir his wooing would be far less
difficult. As to the girl returning his love--bah! Women were not
consulted upon such matters--in China. He smiled, for he felt that his
triumph was assured.
"Radiant visions came to him. He was floating in space, wafted by
perfumed breezes. Around him were lovely faces dimly outlined in circles
of roseate clouds. Each face was Janet Cragiemuir's, and all smiled most
bewitchingly at him. Showers of white and yellow blossoms fell at
intervals, and the orchestra from the Imperial theatre at Pekin boomed
lazily in the distance.
"Happy, happy Ah Moy!
"But the Chinaman, though a hardened smoker, had badly miscalculated
matters, for when Quong Lee came in at daybreak to awaken him the
'Beautiful One' had been dead many hours!"
* * * * *
"Now, Mr. Denmead," said Colonel Manysnifters, turning to another
representative of the press, "it's your turn. Let us have it good and
strong. I have read your East Side Sketches, and like 'em immensely.
Can't you give us a touch of New York in yours?"
"I'll try," said Denmead modestly, "though it isn't exactly a story. It
was just a passing incident, but it was something that I will not soon
forget. An affair of that kind is apt to make more or less of an
impression on a fellow. Maybe you will agree with me."
XI
WHAT HAPPENED TO DENMEAD
"Several years ago I found myself in New York; penniless, weary, and
heartsick. I wandered one morning into a tiny park, mouldering in the
shadow of the huge skyscrapers with which Manhattan is everywhere
defaced. I sank upon a bench, pulled a soiled newspaper from my pocket,
and scanned for the fiftieth time the 'Help Wanted' columns. Work I
wanted of any kind, and work of any kind had eluded my tireless search
for days--ever since my arrival in New York. The benches about me were
filled with bleary, unshaven men; some asleep, others trying hard to
keep awake; each clutching a paper which presently it seemed they might
devour, goat-like, in sheer hunger. The stamp of cruel want convulsed
each hopeless face, and crowsfeet lines of despair lay as a delta
beneath each fishy eye. About us in all directions towered huge
monuments of apoplectic wealth--teeming hives, draining the honey from
each bee, tearing from thousands their best years, their finest
endeavors, their very hearts' blood--all to swell the wealth of a
bloated few! And we, the drones, sat mildewing in the little open space
below!
"The man next to me, his head hanging over the back of the bench in
ghastly jointlessness, awoke with a snort, stared about him stupidly,
and something like a sob bubbled up from his Adam-appled throat. He
wiped his eyes with the back of a grimy paw, and diving into a greasy
pocket pulled out a short black pipe. Between consoling puffs he jerked
out, 'A man's a damn fool--a damn fool, I say, to come to New York to
look for a job! That's why _you_ are here. Oh, I know. I can tell.
You're a stranger all right; that's easy to see. You look the part.'
"'That's so,' said I, 'and worse. I am about down and out. Financially,
I stand exactly twenty-one--no--twenty-three cents to the good.'
"'I am right with you, friend--only more so. I have nothing, absolutely
nothing! You've twenty-three cents, hey? A bad number, that
twenty-three. Give me the odd penny, and perhaps luck'll change for both
of us.' I put the copper into his hand, and in chucking it into his
pocket he dropped it. It rolled out to the center of the walk, and in an
instant not less than a dozen men made a determined rush for it. There
was a desperate struggle; others joined; it became a mad, screaming,
tumbling, sweating mob. Instantly a crowd from outside gathered, and a
free-for-all fight began. Hundreds flocked in from the adjacent streets.
The affair quickly assumed the proportions of a riot. Knives and
revolvers were brought into play. It was every man against his neighbor,
and an unreasoning wave of frenzy and blood seemed to sweep over the
crowd. The police rushed in from all quarters, but their efforts seemed
powerless. My new acquaintance and myself, the innocent cause of all the
trouble, managed to escape from the thick of the fray--he with the loss
of a hat and a bleeding face; and I in much worse shape--physically
sound, but--I had lost my twenty-two cents! We hurriedly entered a dark
canyon which led to wider paths where quiet reigned. The tumult in the
park, sharply accentuated by pistol shots, came to us like the roar of
falling water.
"'What an astonishing thing!' said my companion. 'And all for a penny--a
bloomin' penny! And to think of the fabulous wealth stored in the midst
of all these tigers! Do you suppose that mere walls of steel and granite
could withstand the fury of such a mob as this great city now holds,
straining at its leash? Horrible things will happen in New York one of
these days, and we will not have long to wait for it either. Discipline
of the crudest sort, and a leader, is all that is needed to start a
great army of destruction in motion!'
"'But how about the police, the Federal and State troops, supposed to be
in instant readiness?' I urged.
"'They would count as nothing before the fury of an organized mob. A
portion of the monstrous mountain of wealth stored here in New York City
should be moved to a central, safer point; say St. Louis, Omaha, or even
further west to Denver. It's piling up here is an ever-present menace
and danger. It is a serious problem.'
"'Quite so,' agreed I; 'but there is a much more serious problem
confronting you and me just at present, and that is a certain sickening
emptiness which makes one weak and giddy. My few coppers stood between
us and--and--well, serious thoughts of the future. I have never begged
nor stolen, and yet----'
"'Oh, don't bother about that. The thing's easy,' said my friend; 'just
watch me.'
"A fat, prosperous-looking man approached. His sleek face, garlanded
with mutton-chop whiskers, was creased in smiles. Evidently a broker who
had just 'done' some one, was my sour thought. There were but few on the
street, and the outlook for business was favorable.
"'Pardon me, friend,' whined my companion, stepping out in front of him,
'but can't you give a fellow a lift? I'm a mechanic by trade, and----'