Marriage--License to Preach--Purchase of Freedom--A Call to Baltimore.
I had not been a member of the church a great while, before I formed an
attachment to a young woman, who ultimately became my wife. I have ever
regarded her as the special gift of God to me. She embraced religion
about the same time that I did. We had been acquainted with each other
for several years previous, and although we associated frequently in the
same social circle together; yet nothing of a special liking had
manifested itself until the day she was baptized.
But we were both slaves, and of course had to get the consent of our
owners, before we went further. My wife belonged to the late Carter L.
Stephenson, Esq., who was a brother to Hon. Andrew Stephenson, of Va. My
wife's master was quite indulgent to the servants about the house. He
never restrained visitors from coming on his premises to visit his
domestics. It was said he had the likeliest set of servant girls in the
town; and though I cannot say I got the prettiest, yet I think I got
the best one among them. We have lived happily together, as husband and
wife, for the last twenty-eight years. We have had nine children--seven
born in slavery, and two since my wife's freedom. Five out of the seven
in slavery I have bought--two are still in bondage.
Before long, the brethren chose me to fill the office of a deacon. But
it never seemed to me to be the place that God designed for me; though I
felt willing to do whatever lay in my power for God's glory and the good
of His people. The impression made upon my mind at my conversion, to
talk to sinners, increased on me, until I could wait no longer.
I related my convictions of duty to my brethren, and particularly to one
who was always held in high esteem for his piety and excellent
character--a colored brother, Armistead Walker. My case was first
brought by him before the colored portion of the church; and after a
full hearing of my statement, by the white brethren, with regard to my
call to preach, &c., I was licensed to preach the gospel, and exhort
sinners to repentance, as opportunity might be afforded. I had ample
opportunities at that time, for doing good, by preaching to my fellow
men, both in town and country.
Several other colored brethren, about this time, gave evidence of having
been called of God, to the work of preaching the gospel. Among these was
a dear brother, named Alexander Daniel. He was a bright and shining
light, among our people, and everything considered, I think he was the
best preacher of color I ever heard. But alas, he is no more! He was
esteemed as a christian minister, and his friends, both white and
colored, united in erecting a monument over his grave.
In my attempts to preach the gospel to my fellow sinners, I often felt
embarrassed, not knowing how to read a chapter in the Bible correctly.
My desires now increased for such a knowledge of the sacred Scriptures,
as would enable me to read a chapter publicly to my hearers. I thought
that if I had all my time at my own command, I would devote it all to
divine things. This desire I think, led me more than anything else, to
ask permission of my master, Dr. F. Patten, to purchase my freedom. I
made this a subject of prayer, both night and day, that God would show
me what he would have me do. I felt encouraged to hope that I should
find favor with my owner, as he had always treated me kindly. But how
shall I get the purchase money, provided he grants my request?--This
appeared a difficult matter, but I thought if my master would give me a
chance, that I should be able to raise the money.
I went to him, and stated my wishes, informing him why I wanted to be
free--that I had been led to believe the Lord had converted my soul, and
had called me to talk to sinners. He granted my request, without a
single objection, fixing my price at five hundred dollars.
But now I had to tell him that I had no money, and that I desired him to
grant me another request; which was, to let me travel and find friends,
who would give me the money. After learning my wishes fully, he
consented, and told me, when I got ready to start, he would give me a
pass, to go where I pleased.
I thanked him sincerely for this privilege, and after making
arrangements, in the way of obtaining suitable letters of
recommendation, I left Fredericksburg, in June, 1845, for Philadelphia,
New York, Boston, &c.
After spending nearly four months in visiting the northern cities, I
returned home, with about one hundred and fifty dollars, greatly
disheartened.
Previous to going north, I had raised about a hundred and fifty dollars,
which I had already paid on my debt.
The cause of my failure to raise all the money, I believe, was that I
was unaccustomed to addressing large congregations of strangers; and
often, when I was favored with an opportunity of presenting my case to
the people, I would feel such embarrassment that I could scarcely say
anything. And I met another obstacle, which discouraged me very much;
which was, that some persons would tell me they sympathized with me, in
my efforts to get free; but they said it was against their principles to
give money, to buy slaves. I confess, this was new to me, and would cut
me down much in my spirits--still I found generous and noble-hearted
friends, who treated me with every mark of kindness.
I began to wonder to myself, whether God was in this matter, or not; and
if so, why I had not succeeded. However, having returned home, I went
to work at my trade, for the purpose of earning the remainder of the
money. Having paid what I was able, toward my debt, and reserving enough
to open a shop, upon my own account, my old boss, Mr. Wright, my true
and constant friend, became my protector, so that I might carry on my
business lawfully. In this, however, I was not very successful; but I
had not been long engaged at it, before I received a communication from
my white Baptist friends in Baltimore, through my pastor, Rev. Sam'l
Smith, informing me that if I would come to Baltimore, and accept an
appointment as missionary to the colored people of that city, they would
assist me in raising the balance of the money then due upon myself.
This was indeed an unexpected, and to me an undesired call. I began to
think, how can I leave my wife and seven small children, to go to
Baltimore to live, a distance of more than a hundred miles from them.
This, I thought, could not be. I thought my children would need my
watchful care, more now than at any other time. It is true, they were
all slaves, belonging to a rich widow lady. But she had always given me
the entire control of my family. Now, if I should leave them at their
tender age, mischief might befall them. Still, as the letter from
Baltimore was from gentlemen of the best standing, it became me to give
them an answer. This I could not do, without first consulting my master.
I did so, and after giving the matter a careful consideration, he
thought I had better go and see those gentlemen--he was perfectly
willing to leave the matter to me.
The result was, that I accepted the offer of the brethren in Baltimore;
and by them I was enabled to pay the debt I owed; and I have never had
cause to repent it--though I had misgivings sometimes, when I would get
into trouble.
But I have found those who were my friends at first, are my friends
still. In a few weeks after I had arrived in Baltimore, (1847,) the
white Baptists who were favorable to the mission in behalf of the
colored people, secured for me an appointment as missionary of the
Domestic Board of the Southern Baptist Convention, in connection with
the Maryland Baptist Union Association. I now felt a debt of gratitude
to these dear friends, that I could not show more acceptably to them,
than by engaging heartily in the work to which I had been thus called. I
went to work, first, by hiring a room in a private house, where I would
collect what few children I could get together, in a Sabbath school. I
continued in this place for nearly a year, teaching the little children,
and preaching to a few grown persons, who would come in at times to hear
what this Baptist man had to say; and who, after satisfying their
curiosity, would generally leave me. During my stay in this locality, I
could not find half a dozen colored Baptists, who would take hold with
me in this missionary enterprise. There were some few attached to the
white churches; but only two of those showed any disposition to help me
in this great and good work. I found that everybody loved to go with the
multitude, and it was truly up-hill work with me. I found some who are
called Anti-Mission, or Old School Baptists, who, when I called upon
them, would ask of what faith I was,--and when I would reply, that I
belonged to what I understood to be the Regular Baptists, they would
answer, "Then you are not of our faith," &c.
Now I felt lonely indeed, separated far from home, from family, from
dear brethren and friends; thrown among strangers in a strange place.
Those I came to benefit, stood aloof from me, and seemed to look upon
all my movements with distrust and suspicion, and opposed to all I was
trying to do for the moral and spiritual benefit of our degraded race.
But, thanks be to God, all I found in Baltimore were not of this stamp.
Those of the white Baptists who had been the means of calling me to this
field, adhered to me like brethren, indeed. Could I feel at liberty to
mention names, I would bring to notice some dear friends who have ever
stood by me, in all my efforts to do good, and whose acts of
disinterested benevolence have been rarely equaled. But their labors of
love are recorded on high, and I must forbear.