I have had (since I mentioned the Spanish Ladies in a former letter) an
opportunity of seeing something more of them; what they may be at
_Madrid_, I cannot take upon me to say; but I am inclined to believe,
that notwithstanding what you have heard of Spanish beauty, you would
find nature has not been over liberal as to the persons of either sex in
Spain; and though tolerable good features upon a brown complexion, with
very black hair finely combed and pinned up with two or three gold
bodkins, may be very pleasing, as a _new object_, yet a great deficiency
would appear, were you to see the same women dressed in the high fashion
of England or France. England, for real and natural female beauty,
perhaps surpasses all the world; France, for dress, elegance, and ease.
The Spanish women are violent in their passions, and generally govern
every body under their roof; husbands who contend that point with them,
often finish their days in the middle of a street, or in a prison; on the
other hand, I am told, they are very liberal, compassionate, and
charitable. They have at _Barcelona_ a fine theatre, and tolerable good
music; but the actors of both sexes are execrable beyond all imagination:
their first woman, who they say is rich by means of one _talent or
other_, (for me, like my little Lyons water girl, has _two talents_) is
as contemptible in her person as in her theatrical abilities: it is no
wonder, indeed; for these people are often taken from some of those
gipsey troops, I mentioned in a former letter, and have, consequently, no
other qualifications for the stage but impudence instead of confidence,
and ignorance instead of a liberal education. Perhaps you will conclude,
that the theatre at _Madrid_ affords much better entertainment; on the
contrary, I am well assured it is in general much worse: a Gentleman who
understands the language perfectly, who went to _Madrid_ with no other
view but to gratify his curiosity, in seeing what was worthy of notice
there, went only once to the theatre, where the heat of the house, and
the wretchedness of the performance, were equally intolerable; nor are
the subjects very inviting to a stranger, as they often perform what they
call "_Autos Sacramentales_"--_sacramental representations_. The people
of fashion, in general, have no idea of serving their tables with
elegance, or eating delicately; but rather, in the stile of our
fore-fathers, without spoon or fork, they use their own fingers, and give
drink from the glass of others; foul their napkins and cloaths
exceedingly, and are served at table by servants who are dirty, and often
very offensive. I was admitted, by accident, to a Gentleman's house, of
large fortune, while they were at dinner; there were seven persons at a
round table, too small for five; two of the company were visitors; yet
neither their dinner was so good, nor their manner of eating it so
delicate, as may be seen in the kitchen of a London tradesman. The
dessert (in a country where fruit is so fine and so plenty) was only a
large dish of the seeds of _pomegranates_, which they eat with wine and
sugar. In truth, Sir, an Englishman who has been in the least accustomed
to eat at genteel tables, is, of all other men, least qualified to travel
into either kingdoms, and particularly into Spain; especially, if what
Swift says be true, that "a nice man is a man of dirty ideas,"--I know
not the reason, whether it proceeds from climate, or food, or from the
neglect of the poorer order of the people; but _head combing_ seems to be
a principal part of the day's business among the women in Spain; and it
is generally done rather publicly.--The most lively, chearful, neat young
woman, I saw in Spain, lived in the same house I did at _Barcelona_; she
had a good complexion, and, what is very uncommon, rather light hair;
and though perfectly clean and neat in her apparel, yet I observed a
woman, not belonging to the house, attended every morning to comb this
girl's head, and I believe it was _necessary_ to be combed. I could not
very well ask the question; but I suspect that there are people by
profession called _headcombers_; every shop door almost furnishes you
with a specimen of that business; and if it is so common in _Barcelona_,
among a rich and industrious people, you may imagine, it is infinitely
more so among the slothful part of the inland cities and smaller
towns;--but this is not the only objection a stranger (and especially an
English Protestant) will find to Spain; the common people do not look
upon an Englishman as a Christian; and the life of a man, not a
Christian, is of no more importance in their eyes than the life of a dog:
it is not therefore safe for a protestant to trust himself far from the
maritime cities, as an hundred unforeseen incidents may arise, among
people so ignorant and superstitious, to render it very unsafe to a man
known to be a Protestant. If it be asked, how the Consuls, English
merchants, &c. escape?--I can give no other reason than what a Spaniard
gave me, when I put that question to him:--"Sir," said he, "we have men
here, (meaning Barcelona) who are Protestants all day, and Papists all
night; and we have a chapel where they go, into which no other people are
admitted." However, I was convinced, before I went into Spain this time,
from what I remembered formerly, that it was necessary to appear a good
Catholic; so that I always carried a little crucifix, or two, some beads,
and other _accidental_ marks of my faith; and where I staid any time, or,
indeed, where I slept upon the road, I took occasion to let some of those
_powerful protectors_ be seen, as it were, by chance;--it is very
necessary to avail one's self of such innocent frauds, in a country where
innocence itself may not be sufficient to shield you from the fury of
religious bigotry, where people think they are serving God, by destroying
men: The best method to save yourself, is by serving God in the same
manner they do, till you are out of their power. I really thought, that
Philosophy and Reason entered into Spain at the same gate that the
Jesuits were turned out of the kingdom; and, I suppose, some did; but it
must be many years before it is sufficiently diffused over the whole
nation, to render it a country like France; where men, who behave with
decency and decorum, may live, or pass through, without the least
apprehension or inconvenience on the score of religion; if they do not
meddle with politics or fortifications.
That you may not imagine my suspicions of the danger of passing thro'
Spain are ill founded, I will relate what happened to two English
Gentlemen of fashion at _Marcia_ as I had it from the mouth of one of
them lately:--they had procured letters of recommendation from some
friends to the _Alguazile_, or chief magistrate of that town; and as
there were some unfavourable appearances at their first entering
_Marcia_, and more so at their _posada_, they thought it right to send
their letters directly to the _Alguazile_; who, instead of asking them
to his house, or visiting them, sent a servant to say he was ill, and
who was directed to invite them to go that night to the comedy: they
thought it right, however, to accept the invitation, extraordinary as it
was: the _Alguazile_'s servant conducted them to the theatre, and paid
(for he was directed so to do, he said) for their admittance; and having
conducted his strangers into the pit, he retired. The comedy was then
begun; but, nevertheless, the eyes of the whole house were turned upon
them, and their's, to their great astonishment, upon the _sick
Alguazile_ with his whole family. Those near whom they at first stood,
retired to some distance: they could not, he said, consider the manner
in which they were looked at, and retired from, but to arise from
disgust or dislike, more than from curiosity. This reception, and the
manner in which they had been sent there, deprived them of all the
amusement the house afforded; for though the performers had no great
excellence, there was, among the female part of the audience, more
beauty than they expected. Mr. B----, one of the Gentlemen, at length
discovered near him in the pit a man whom he knew to be an Irishman, and
in whole countenance he plainly perceived a desire to speak, but he
seemed with-held by prudence. At length, however, he was got near enough
to his countryman to hear him say, without appearing to address himself
to any body, "_Go hence! go hence_!" They did so; and the next morning,
tho' it was a fine town, which they wished to examine, and to spend some
time in, set off early for _Carthagena_, where they had some particular
friends, to whom they related the _Alguazile_'s very extraordinary
behaviour, as well as that of the company at the theatre. It was near
the time of the Carnival at _Carthagena_: the conduct of _Don Marco_ to
the two gentlemen strangers, became the subject of conversation, and
indeed of indignation, among the Spaniards of that civilized city; and
the _Alguazile_, who came to the Carnival there soon after, died by the
hands of an assassin; he was stabbed by a mask in the night. Now suppose
this man lost his life at _Carthagena_, for his ill behaviour to the two
strangers at _Marcia_, or for any other cause, it is very certain, if
natives are so liable to assassination, strangers are not more secure.
P.S. To give you some idea of the address of the pulpit oratory in
Spain, about sixty or seventy years ago, (and it is not in general much
better at present) take the following specimen, which I assure you, is
strictly true:--
A preacher holding forth in the place called _Las_ Mancanas at Madrid,
after informing his auditors of the sufferings of Jesus Christ,
added,--and is it not strange, that we still continue to sin on, and
live without repentance? O Lord God! said he, why sufferest thou such
ungrateful and wretched sinners to live?--And instantly giving himself a
violent box on the ear, the whole assembly followed his example, and
four thousand _soufflets_ were given and received in the twinkling of an
eye.--The French Embassador, from whose _memoires_ I take this story,
was upon that instant bursting out in laughter at the pious ceremony,
had he not been checked by one of his friends, who happened to stand
near, and who assured him, that his rank and character would not have
saved him, had he been so indiscreet, for the enraged populace would
have cut him in a thousand pieces; whereupon he hid his face in his
handkerchief, and boxed his own ears more for the love of himself than
from gratitude to his Redeemer.