eagles envy us our nest; a small spring supplies us with Abdest, and we
daily repeat prayers which the Prophet approves. We love you, O
Commander of the Faithful! our master, the good Emir Fakreddin, loves you
also; he reveres in your person the vicegerent of Mahomet. Little as we
are, in us he confides; he knows our hearts to be good as our bodies are
contemptible, and hath placed us here to aid those who are bewildered on
these dreary mountains. Last night, whilst we were occupied within our
cell in reading the holy Koran, a sudden hurricane blew out our lights
and rocked our habitation; for two whole hours a palpable darkness
prevailed, but we heard sounds at a distance which we conjectured to
proceed from the bells of a Cafila passing over the rocks; our ears were
soon filled with deplorable shrieks, frightful roarings, and the sound of
tymbals. Chilled with terror, we concluded that the Deggial, with his
exterminating angels, had sent forth their plagues on the earth. In the
midst of these melancholy reflections we perceived flames of the deepest
red glow in the horizon, and found ourselves in a few moments covered
with flakes of fire; amazed at so strange an appearance, we took up the
volume dictated by the blessed Intelligence, and, kneeling by the light
of the fire that surrounded us, we recited the verse which says: ‘Put no
trust in anything but the mercy of Heaven; there is no help save in the
holy Prophet; the mountain of Kaf itself may tremble, it is the power of
Allah only that cannot be moved.’ After having pronounced these words we
felt consolation, and our minds were hushed into a sacred repose; silence
ensued, and our ears clearly distinguished a voice in the air, saying:
‘Servants of my faithful servant! go down to the happy valley of
Fakreddin; tell him that an illustrious opportunity now offers to satiate
the thirst of his hospitable heart. The Commander of true believers is
this day bewildered amongst these mountains, and stands in need of thy
aid.’ We obeyed with joy the angelic mission, and our master, filled
with pious zeal, hath culled with his own hands these melons, oranges,
and pomegranates; he is following us with a hundred dromedaries laden
with the purest waters of his fountains, and is coming to kiss the fringe
of your consecrated robe, and implore you to enter his humble habitation,
which, placed amidst these barren wilds, resembles an emerald set in
lead.” The dwarfs, having ended their address, remained still standing,
and, with hands crossed upon their bosoms, preserved a respectful
silence.
Vathek in the midst of this curious harangue, seized the basket, and long
before it was finished the fruits had dissolved in his mouth; as he
continued to eat his piety increased, and in the same breath which
recited his prayers he called for the Koran and sugar.
Such was the state of his mind when the tablets, which were thrown by at
the approach of the dwarfs, again attracted his eye; he took them up, but
was ready to drop on the ground when he beheld, in large red characters,
these words inscribed by Carathis, which were indeed enough to make him
tremble:
“Beware of thy old doctors, and their puny messengers of but one cubit
high; distrust their pious frauds, and, instead of eating their melons,
impale on a spit the bearers of them. Shouldst thou be such a fool as to
visit them, the portal of the subterranean palace will be shut in thy
face, and with such force as shall shake thee asunder; thy body shall be
spit upon, and bats will engender in thy belly.”
“To what tends this ominous rhapsody?” cries the Caliph. “And must I
then perish in these deserts with thirst, whilst I may refresh myself in
the valley of melons and cucumbers! Accursed be the Giaour, with his
portal of ebony! he hath made me dance attendance too long already.
Besides, who shall prescribe laws to me? I forsooth must not enter any
one’s habitation! Be it so; but what one can I enter that is not my
own?”
Bababalouk, who lost not a syllable of this soliloquy, applauded it with
all his heart, and the ladies for the first time agreed with him in
opinion.
The dwarfs were entertained, caressed, and seated with great ceremony on
little cushions of satin. The symmetry of their persons was the subject
of criticism; not an inch of them was suffered to pass unexamined;
knick-knacks and dainties were offered in profusion, but all were
declined with respectful gravity. They clambered up the sides of the
Caliph’s seat, and, placing themselves each on one of his shoulders,
began to whisper prayers in his ears; their tongues quivered like the
leaves of a poplar, and the patience of Vathek was almost exhausted, when
the acclamations of the troops announced the approach of Fakreddin, who
was come with a hundred old grey-beards and as many Korans and
dromedaries; they instantly set about their ablutions, and began to
repeat the Bismillah; Vathek, to get rid of these officious monitors,
followed their example, for his hands were burning.
The good Emir, who was punctiliously religious, and likewise a great
dealer in compliments, made an harangue five times more prolix and
insipid than his harbingers had already delivered. The Caliph, unable
any longer to refrain, exclaimed—
“For the love of Mahomet, my dear Fakreddin, have done! let us proceed to
your valley, and enjoy the fruits that Heaven hath vouchsafed you.”
The hint of proceeding put all into motion; the venerable attendants of
the Emir set forward somewhat slowly, but Vathek, having ordered his
little pages in private to goad on the dromedaries, loud fits of laughter
broke forth from the cages, for the unwieldy curvetting of these poor
beasts, and the ridiculous distress of their superannuated riders,
afforded the ladies no small entertainment.
They descended, however, unhurt into the valley, by the large steps which
the Emir had cut in the rock; and already the murmuring of streams and
the rustling of leaves began to catch their attention. The cavalcade
soon entered a path which was skirted by flowering shrubs, and extended
to a vast wood of palm-trees, whose branches overspread a building of
hewn stone. This edifice was crowned with nine domes, and adorned with
as many portals of bronze, on which was engraven the following
inscription: “This is the asylum of pilgrims, the refuge of travellers,
and the depository of secrets for all parts of the world.”
Nine pages, beautiful as the day, and clothed in robes of Egyptian linen,
very long and very modest, were standing at each door. They received the
whole retinue with an easy and inviting air. Four of the most amiable
placed the Caliph on a magnificent taktrevan, four others, somewhat less
graceful, took charge of Bababalouk, who capered for joy at the snug
little cabin that fell to his share; the pages that remained waited on
the rest of the train.
When everything masculine was gone out of sight the gate of a large
enclosure on the right turned on its harmonious hinges and a young female
of a slender form came forth; her light brown hair floated in the hazy
breeze of the twilight; a troop of young maidens, like the Pleiades,
attended her on tip-toe. They hastened to the pavilions that contained
the sultanas, and the young lady, gracefully bending, said to them:
“Charming Princesses, everything is ready; we have prepared beds for your
repose, and strewed your apartments with jasmine; no insects will keep
off slumber from visiting your eyelids, we will dispel them with a
thousand plumes; come then, amiable ladies! refresh your delicate feet
and your ivory limbs in baths of rose water; and, by the light of
perfumed lamps your servants will amuse you with tales.”
The sultanas accepted with pleasure these obliging offers, and followed
the young lady to the Emir’s harem, where we must for a moment leave
them, and return to the Caliph.
Vathek found himself beneath a vast dome, illuminated by a thousand lamps
of rock crystal; as many vases of the same material, filled with
excellent sherbet, sparkled on a large table, where a profusion of viands
were spread; amongst others were sweetbreads stewed in milk of almonds,
saffron soups, and lamb _à la crême_, of all which the Caliph was
amazingly fond. He took of each as much as he was able, testified his
sense of the Emir’s friendship by the gaiety of his heart, and made the
dwarfs dance against their will, for these little devotees durst not
refuse the Commander of the Faithful; at last he spread himself on the
sofa, and slept sounder than he had ever before.
Beneath this dome a general silence prevailed, for there was nothing to
disturb it but the jaws of Bababalouk, who had untrussed himself to eat
with greater advantage, being anxious to make amends for his fast in the
mountains. As his spirits were too high to admit of his sleeping, and
not loving to be idle, he proposed with himself to visit the harem, and
repair to his charge of the ladies, to examine if they had been properly
lubricated with the balm of Mecca, if their eyebrows and tresses were in
order, and, in a word, to perform all the little offices they might need.
He sought for a long time together, but without being able to find out
the door; he durst not speak aloud, for fear of disturbing the Caliph,
and not a soul was stirring in the precincts of the palace; he almost
despaired of effecting his purpose, when a low whispering just reached
his ear; it came from the dwarfs who were returned to their old
occupation, and for the nine hundred and ninety-ninth time in their
lives, were reading over the Koran. They very politely invited
Bababalouk to be of their party, but his head was full of other concerns.
The dwarfs, though scandalised at his dissolute morals, directed him to
the apartments he wanted to find; his way thither lay through a hundred
dark corridors, along which he groped as he went, and at last began to
catch from the extremity of a passage the charming gossiping of the
women, which not a little delighted his heart. “Ah, ha! what, not yet
asleep!” cried he; and, taking long strides as he spoke. “Did you not
suspect me of abjuring my charge? I stayed but to finish what my master
had left.”
Two of the black eunuchs, on hearing a voice so loud, detached a party in
haste, sabre in hand, to discover the cause; but presently was repeated
on all sides: “’Tis only Bababalouk! no one but Bababalouk!” This
circumspect guardian, having gone up to a thin veil of carnation-coloured
silk that hung before the doorway, distinguished, by means of the
softened splendour that shone through it, an oval bath of dark porphyry,
surrounded by curtains festooned in large folds; through the apertures
between them, as they were not drawn close, groups of young slaves were
visible, amongst whom Bababalouk perceived his pupils, indulgingly
expanding their arms, as if to embrace the perfumed water and refresh
themselves after their fatigues. The looks of tender languor, their
confidential whispers, and the enchanting smiles with which they were
imparted, the exquisite fragrance of the roses, all combined to inspire a
voluptuousness, which even Bababalouk himself was scarce able to
withstand.
He summoned up, however, his usual solemnity, and, in the peremptory tone
of authority, commanded the ladies instantly to leave the bath. Whilst
he was issuing these mandates the young Nouronihar, daughter of the Emir,
who was sprightly as an antelope, and full of wanton gaiety, beckoned one
of her slaves to let down the great swing, which was suspended to the
ceiling by cords of silk, and whilst this was doing, winked to her
companions in the bath, who, chagrined to be forced from so soothing a
state of indolence, began to twist it round Bababalouk, and tease him
with a thousand vagaries.
When Nouronihar perceived that he was exhausted with fatigue, she
accosted him with an arch air of respectful concern, and said: “My lord,
it is not by any means decent that the chief eunuch of the Caliph, our
Sovereign, should thus continue standing; deign but to recline your
graceful person upon this sofa, which will burst with vexation if it have
not the honour to receive you.”
Caught by these flattering accents, Bababalouk gallantly replied:
“Delight of the apple of my eye! I accept the invitation of thy honeyed
lips; and, to say truth, my senses are dazzled with the radiance that
beams from thy charms.”
“Repose, then, at your ease,” replied the beauty, and placed him on the
pretended sofa, which, quicker than lightning, gave way all at once. The
rest of the women, having aptly conceived her design, sprang naked from
the bath, and plied the swing with such unmerciful jerks, that it swept
through the whole compass of a very lofty dome, and took from the poor
victim all power of respiration; sometimes his feet rased the surface of
the water, and at others the skylight almost flattened his nose; in vain
did he pierce the air with the cries of a voice that resembled the
ringing of a cracked basin, for their peals of laughter were still more
predominant.
Nouronihar, in the inebriety of youthful spirits, being used only to
eunuchs of ordinary harems, and having never seen anything so royal and
disgusting, was far more diverted than all of the rest; she began to
parody some Persian verses, and sang with an accent most demurely
piquant:
“O gentle white dove, as thou soar’st through the air,
Vouchsafe one kind glance on the mate of thy love;
Melodious Philomel, I am thy rose;
Warble some couplet to ravish my heart!”
The sultanas and their slaves, stimulated by these pleasantries,
persevered at the swing with such unremitted assiduity, that at length
the cord which had secured it snapped suddenly asunder, and Bababalouk
fell floundering like a turtle to the bottom of the bath. This accident
occasioned a universal shout; twelve little doors, till now unobserved,
flew open at once, and the ladies in an instant made their escape, after
throwing all the towels on his head, and putting out the lights that
remained.
The deplorable animal, in water to the chin, overwhelmed with darkness,
and unable to extricate himself from the wrap that embarrassed him, was
still doomed to hear for his further consolation the fresh bursts of
merriment his disaster occasioned. He bustled, but in vain, to get from
the bath, for the margin was become so slippery with the oil spilt in
breaking the lamps, that at every effort he slid back with a plunge,
which resounded aloud through the hollow of the dome. These cursed peals
of laughter at every relapse were redoubled; and he, who thought the
place infested rather by devils than women, resolved to cease groping,
and abide in the bath, where he amused himself with soliloquies,
interspersed with imprecations, of which his malicious neighbours
reclining on down suffered not an accent to escape. In this delectable
plight the morning surprised him. The Caliph, wondering at his absence,
had caused him to be everywhere sought for. At last he was drawn forth,
almost smothered from the wisp of linen, and wet even to the marrow.
Limping and chattering his teeth, he appeared before his master, who
inquired what was the matter, and how he came soused in so strange a
pickle.
“And why did you enter this cursed lodge?” answered Bababalouk, gruffly.
“Ought a monarch like you to visit with his harem the abode of a
grey-bearded Emir, who knows nothing of life? And with what gracious
damsels doth the place, too, abound! Fancy to yourself how they have
soaked me like a burnt crust, and made me dance like a jack-pudding the
live-long night through, on their damnable swing! What an excellent
lesson for your sultanas to follow, into whom I have instilled such
reserve and decorum!”
Vathek, comprehending not a syllable of all this invective, obliged him
to relate minutely the transaction; but instead of sympathising with the
miserable sufferer, he laughed immoderately at the device of the swing,
and the figure of Bababalouk mounting upon it. The stung eunuch could
scarcely preserve the semblance of respect.
“Ay, laugh, my lord! laugh,” said he; “but I wish this Nouronihar would
play some trick on you; she is too wicked to spare even majesty itself.”
Those words made for the present but a slight impression on the Caliph;
but they not long after recurred to his mind.
This conversation was cut short by Fakreddin, who came to request that
Vathek would join in the prayers and ablutions to be solemnised on a
spacious meadow, watered by innumerable streams. The Caliph found the
waters refreshing, but the prayers abominably irksome; he diverted
himself, however, with the multitude of Calenders, Santons, and Dervises,
who were continually coming and going, but especially with the Brahmins,
Fakirs, and other enthusiasts, who had travelled from the heart of India,
and halted on their way with the Emir. These latter had, each of them,
some mummery peculiar to himself. One dragged a huge chain wherever he
went, another an ouranoutang, whilst a third was furnished with scourges,
and all performed to a charm; some clambered up trees, holding one foot
in the air; others poised themselves over a fire, and without mercy
filliped their noses. There were some amongst them that cherished
vermin, which were not ungrateful in requiting their caresses. These
rambling fanatics revolted the hearts of the Dervises, the Calenders, and
Santons; however, the vehemence of their aversion soon subsided, under
the hope that the presence of the Caliph would cure their folly, and
convert them to the Mussulman faith; but, alas! how great was their
disappointment! for Vathek, instead of preaching to them, treated them as
buffoons, bade them present his compliments to Visnow and Ixhora, and
discovered a predilection for a squat old man from the isle of Serendib,
who was more ridiculous than any of the rest.
“Come!” said he, “for the love of your gods bestow a few slaps on your
chops to amuse me.”
The old fellow, offended at such an address, began loudly to weep; but,
as he betrayed a villainous drivelling in his tears, the Caliph turned
his back and listened to Bababalouk, who whispered, whilst he held the
umbrella over him: “Your Majesty should be cautious of this odd assembly
which hath been collected I know not for what. Is it necessary to
exhibit such spectacles to a mighty potentate, with interludes of
Talapoins more mangy than dogs? Were I you, I would command a fire to be
kindled, and at once purge the earth of the Emir, his harem, and all his
menagerie.”
“Tush, dolt!” answered Vathek; “and know that all this infinitely charms
me; nor shall I leave the meadow till I have visited every hive of these
pious mendicants.”
Wherever the Caliph directed his course objects of pity were sure to
swarm round him: the blind, the purblind, smarts without noses, damsels
without ears, each to extol the munificence of Fakreddin, who, as well as
his attendant grey-beards, dealt about gratis plasters and cataplasms to
all that applied. At noon a superb corps of cripples made its
appearance, and soon after advanced by platoons on the plain, the
completest association of invalids that had ever been embodied till then.
The blind went groping with the blind, the lame limped on together, and
the maimed made gestures to each other with the only arm that remained;
the sides of a considerable waterfall were crowded by the deaf, amongst
whom were some from Pegû with ears uncommonly handsome and large, but
were still less able to hear than the rest; nor were there wanting others
in abundance with humpbacks, wenny necks, and even horns of an exquisite
polish.
The Emir, to aggrandise the solemnity of the festival in honour of his
illustrious visitant, ordered the turf to be spread on all sides with
skins and table-cloths, upon which were served up for the good Mussulmans
pilaus of every line, with other orthodox dishes; and, by the express
order of Vathek, who was shamefully tolerant, small plates of
abominations for regaling the rest. This prince, on seeing so many
mouths put in motion, began to think it time for employing his own; in
spite, therefore, of every remonstrance from the chief of his eunuchs, he
resolved to have a dinner dressed on the spot. The complaisant Emir
immediately gave orders for a table to be placed in the shade of the
willows. The first service consisted of fish, which they drew from a
river flowing over sands of gold at the foot of a lofty hill; these were
broiled as fast as taken, and served up with a sauce of vinegar, and
small herbs that grow on Mount Sinai; for everything with the Emir was
excellent and pious.
The dessert was not quite set on when the sound of lutes from the hill
was repeated by the echoes of the neighbouring mountains. The Caliph,
with an emotion of pleasure and surprise, had no sooner raised up his
head than a handful of jasmine dropped on his face; an abundance of
tittering succeeded the frolic, and instantly appeared through the bushes
the elegant forms of several young females, skipping and bounding like
roes. The fragrance diffused from their hair struck the sense of Vathek,
who, in an ecstasy, suspending his repast, said to Bababalouk:
“Are the Peris come down from their spheres? Note her in particular
whose form is so perfect, venturously running on the brink of the
precipice, and turning back her head, as regardless of nothing but the
graceful flow of her robe; with what captivating impatience doth she
contend with the bushes for her veil! could it be she who threw the
jasmine at me?”
“Ay! she it was; and you too would she throw from the top of the rock,”
answered Bababalouk; “for that is my good friend Nouronihar, who so
kindly lent me her swing; my dear lord and master,” added he, twisting a
twig that hung by the rind from a willow, “let me correct her for want of
respect; the Emir will have no reason to complain, since (bating what I
owe to his piety) he is much to be censured for keeping a troop of girls
on the mountains, whose sharp air gives their blood too brisk a
circulation.”
“Peace, blasphemer!” said the Caliph; “speak not thus of her who over her
mountains leads my heart a willing captive; contrive rather that my eyes
may be fixed upon hers, that I may respire her sweet breath, as she
bounds panting along these delightful wilds!” On saying these words,
Vathek extended his arms towards the hill, and directing his eyes with an
anxiety unknown to him before, endeavoured to keep within view the object
that enthralled his soul; but her course was as difficult to follow as
the flight of one of those beautiful blue butterflies of Cashmere, which
are at once so volatile and rare.
The Caliph, not satisfied with seeing, wished also to hear Nouronihar,
and eagerly turned to catch the sound of her voice; at last he
distinguished her whispering to one of her companions behind the thicket
from whence she had thrown the jasmine: “A Caliph, it must be owned, is a
fine thing to see, but my little Gulchenrouz is much more amiable; one
lock of his hair is of more value to me than the richest embroidery of
the Indies; I had rather that his teeth should mischievously press my
finger than the richest ring of the imperial treasure. Where have you
left him, Sutlememe? and why is he now not here?”
The agitated Caliph still wished to hear more, but she immediately
retired, with all her attendants; the fond monarch pursued her with his
eyes till she was gone out of sight, and then continued like a bewildered
and benighted traveller, from whom the clouds had obscured the
constellation that guided his way; the curtain of night seemed dropped
before him; everything appeared discoloured; the falling waters filled
his soul with dejection, and his tears trickled down the jasmines he had
caught from Nouronihar, and placed in his inflamed bosom; he snatched up
a shining pebble, to remind him of the scene where he felt the first
tumults of love. Two hours were elapsed, and evening drew on before he
could resolve to depart from the place; he often, but in vain, attempted
to go; a soft languor enervated the powers of his mind; extending himself
on the brink of the stream, he turned his eyes towards the blue summits
of the mountain, and exclaimed: “What concealest thou behind thee? what
is passing in thy solitudes? Whither is she gone? O Heaven! perhaps she
is now wandering in thy grottos, with her happy Gulchenrouz!”
In the meantime the damps began to descend, and the Emir, solicitous for
the health of the Caliph, ordered the imperial litter to be brought.
Vathek, absorbed in his reveries, was imperceptibly removed, and conveyed
back to the saloon that received him the evening before.