that his expedition should be uncommonly splendid. With this view he
confiscated on all sides the property of his subjects, whilst his worthy
mother stripped the seraglios she visited of the gems they contained.
She collected all the sempstresses and embroiderers of Samarah and other
cities to the distance of sixty leagues, to prepare pavilions,
palanquins, sofas, canopies, and litters for the train of the monarch.
There was not left in Masulipatam a single piece of chintz, and so much
muslin had been bought up to dress out Bababalouk and the other black
eunuchs, that there remained not an ell in the whole Irak of Babylon.
During these preparations Carathis, who never lost sight of her great
object, which was to obtain favour with the Powers of Darkness, made
select parties of the fairest and most delicate ladies of the city; but
in the midst of their gaiety she contrived to introduce serpents amongst
them, and to break pots of scorpions under the table; they all bit to a
wonder; and Carathis would have left them to bite, were it not that, to
fill up the time, she now and then amused herself in curing their wounds
with an excellent anodyne of her own invention, for this good princess
abhorred being indolent.
Vathek, who was not altogether so active as his mother, devoted his time
to the sole gratification of his senses, in the palaces which were
severally dedicated to them; he disgusted himself no more with the Divan
or the Mosque. One half of Samarah followed his example, whilst the
other lamented the progress of corruption.
In the midst of these transactions the embassy returned which had been
sent in pious times to Mecca. It consisted of the most reverend
Moullahs, who had fulfilled their commission and brought back one of
those precious besoms which are used to sweep the sacred Caaba: a present
truly worthy of the greatest potentate on earth!
The Caliph happened at this instant to be engaged in an apartment by no
means adapted to the reception of embassies, though adorned with a
certain magnificence, not only to render it agreeable, but also because
he resorted to it frequently, and stayed a considerable time together.
Whilst occupied in this retreat he heard the voice of Bababalouk calling
out from between the door and the tapestry that hung before it: “Here are
the excellent Mahomet Ebn Edris al Shafei, and the seraphic Al
Mouhadethin, who have brought the besom from Mecca, and with tears of joy
intreat they may present it to your majesty in person.”
“Let them bring the besom hither; it may be of use,” said Vathek, who was
still employed, not having quite racked off his wine.
“How!” said Bababalouk, half aloud and amazed.
“Obey,” replied the Caliph, “for it is my sovereign will; go instantly,
vanish; for here will I receive the good folk, who have thus filled thee
with joy.”
The eunuch departed muttering, and bade the venerable train attend him.
A sacred rapture was diffused amongst these reverend old men. Though
fatigued with the length of their expedition, they followed Bababalouk
with an alertness almost miraculous, and felt themselves highly
flattered, as they swept along the stately porticoes, that the Caliph
would not receive them like ambassadors in ordinary in his hall of
audience. Soon reaching the interior of the harem (where, through blinds
of Persian, they perceived large soft eyes, dark and blue, that went and
came like lightning), penetrated with respect and wonder, and full of
their celestial mission, they advanced in procession towards the small
corridors that appeared to terminate in nothing, but nevertheless led to
the cell where the Caliph expected their coming.
“What! is the Commander of the Faithful sick?” said Ebn Edris al Shafei
in a low voice to his companion.
“I rather think he is in his oratory,” answered Al Mouhadethin.
Vathek, who heard the dialogue, cried out: “What imports it you how I am
employed? approach without delay.”
They advanced, and Bababalouk almost sunk with confusion, whilst the
Caliph, without showing himself, put forth his hand from behind the
tapestry that hung before the door, and demanded of them the besom.
Having prostrated themselves as well as the corridor would permit, and
even in a tolerable semicircle, the venerable Al Shafei, drawing forth
the besom from the embroidered and perfumed scarves in which it had been
enveloped, and secured from the profane gaze of vulgar eyes, arose from
his associates, and advanced, with an air of the most awful solemnity,
towards the supposed oratory; but with what astonishment! with what
horror was he seized! Vathek, bursting out into a villainous laugh,
snatched the besom from his trembling hand, and, fixing upon some cobwebs
that hung suspended from the ceiling, gravely brushed away till not a
single one remained. The old men, overpowered with amazement, were
unable to lift their beards from the ground; for, as Vathek had
carelessly left the tapestry between them half drawn, they were witnesses
to the whole transaction; their tears gushed forth on the marble; Al
Mouhadethin swooned through mortification and fatigue; whilst the Caliph,
throwing himself backward on his seat, shouted and clapped his hands
without mercy. At last, addressing himself to Bababalouk: “My dear
black,” said he, “go, regale these pious poor souls with my good wine
from Shiraz; and, as they can boast of having seen more of my palace than
any one besides, let them also visit my office courts, and lead them out
by the back steps that go to my stables.” Having said this, he threw the
besom in their face, and went to enjoy the laugh with Carathis.
Bababalouk did all in his power to console the ambassadors, but the two
most infirm expired on the spot; the rest were carried to their beds,
from whence, being heart-broken with sorrow and shame, they never arose.
The succeeding night Vathek, attended by his mother, ascended the tower
to see if everything were ready for his journey; for he had great faith
in the influence of the stars. The planets appeared in their most
favourable aspects. The Caliph, to enjoy so flattering a sight, supped
gaily on the roof, and fancied that he heard during his repast loud
shouts of laughter resound through the sky, in a manner that inspired the
fullest assurance.
All was in motion at the palace; lights were kept burning through the
whole of the night; the sound of implements and of artisans finishing
their work, the voices of women and their guardians who sung at their
embroidery, all conspired to interrupt the stillness of nature and
infinitely delight the heart of Vathek, who imagined himself going in
triumph to sit upon the throne of Soliman.
The people were not less satisfied than himself; all assisted to
accelerate the moment which should rescue them from the wayward caprices
of so extravagant a master.
The day preceding the departure of this infatuated prince was employed by
Carathis in repeating to him the decrees of the mysterious parchment,
which she had thoroughly gotten by heart, and in recommending him not to
enter the habitation of any one by the way; “for well thou knowest,”
added she, “how liquorish thy taste is after good dishes and young
damsels; let me, therefore, enjoin thee to be content with thy old cooks,
who are the best in the world, and not to forget that in thy ambulatory
seraglio there are three dozen pretty faces, which Bababalouk hath not
yet unveiled. I myself have a great desire to watch over thy conduct,
and visit the subterranean palace, which no doubt contains whatever can
interest persons like us; there is nothing so pleasing as retiring to
caverns; my taste for dead bodies and everything like mummy is decided;
and I am confident thou wilt see the most exquisite of their kind.
Forget me not, then, but the moment thou art in possession of the
talismans which are to open to thee the mineral kingdoms and the centre
of the earth itself, fail not to despatch some trusty genius to take me
and my cabinet, for the oil of the serpents I have pinched to death will
be a pretty present to the Giaour, who cannot but be charmed with such
dainties.”
Scarcely had Carathis ended this edifying discourse when the sun, setting
behind the mountain of the Four Fountains, gave place to the rising moon;
this planet, being that evening at full, appeared of unusual beauty and
magnitude in the eyes of the women, the eunuchs, and the pages, who were
all impatient to set forward. The city re-echoed with shouts of joy and
flourishing of trumpets; nothing was visible but plumes nodding on
pavilions, and aigrets shining in the mild lustre of the moon; the
spacious square resembled an immense parterre, variegated with the most
stately tulips of the East.
Arrayed in the robes which were only worn at the most distinguished
ceremonials, and supported by his Vizir and Bababalouk, the Caliph
descended the grand staircase of the tower in the sight of all his
people; he could not forbear pausing at intervals to admire the superb
appearance which everywhere courted his view, whilst the whole multitude,
even to the camels with their sumptuous burdens, knelt down before him.
For some time a general stillness prevailed, which nothing happened to
disturb but the shrill screams of some eunuchs in the rear; these
vigilant guards, having remarked certain cages of the ladies swagging
somewhat awry, and discovered that a few adventurous gallants had
contrived to get in, soon dislodged the enraptured culprits. The majesty
of so magnificent a spectacle was not, however, violated by incidents
like these. Vathek meanwhile saluted the moon with an idolatrous air,
that neither pleased Morakanabad nor the Doctors of the Law, any more
than the vizirs and the grandees of his court, who were all assembled to
enjoy the last view of their sovereign.
At length the clarions and trumpets from the top of the tower announced
the prelude of departure; though the instruments were in unison with each
other, yet a singular dissonance was blended with their sounds; this
proceeded from Carathis, who was singing her direful orisons to the
Giaour, whilst the negresses and mutes supplied thorough-base without
articulating a word. The good Mussulmans fancied that they heard the
sullen hum of those nocturnal insects which presage evil, and importuned
Vathek to beware how he ventured his sacred person.
On a given signal the great standard of the Califat was displayed, twenty
thousand lances shone around it, and the Caliph, treading loyally on the
cloth of gold which had been spread for his feet, ascended his litter
amidst the general awe that possessed his subjects.
The expedition commenced with the utmost order and so entire a silence,
that even the locusts were heard from the thickets on the plain of
Catoul. Gaiety and good-humour prevailing, six good leagues were past
before the dawn; and the morning star was still glittering in the
firmament when the whole of this numerous train had halted on the banks
of the Tigris, where they encamped to repose for the rest of the day.
The three days that followed were spent in the same manner; but on the
fourth the heavens looked angry, lightnings broke forth in frequent
flashes, re-echoing peals of thunder succeeded, and the trembling
Circassians clung with all their might to their ugly guardians. The
Caliph himself was greatly inclined to take shelter in the large town of
Gulchissar, the governor of which came forth to meet him, and tendered
every kind of refreshment the place could supply; but, having examined
his tablets, he suffered the rain to soak him almost to the bone,
notwithstanding the importunity of his first favourites. Though he began
to regret the palace of the senses, yet he lost not sight of his
enterprise, and his sanguine expectations confirmed his resolution; his
geographers were ordered to attend him, but the weather proved so
terrible that these poor people exhibited a lamentable appearance; and,
as no long journeys had been undertaken since the time of Haroun al
Raschid, their maps of the different countries were in a still worse
plight than themselves; every one was ignorant which way to turn; for
Vathek, though well versed in the course of the heavens, no longer knew
his situation on earth; he thundered even louder than the elements, and
muttered forth certain hints of the bow-string, which were not very
soothing to literary ears. Disgusted at the toilsome weariness of the
way, he determined to cross over the craggy heights and follow the
guidance of a peasant, who undertook to bring him in four days to
Rocnabad. Remonstrances were all to no purpose; his resolution was
fixed, and an invasion commenced on the province of the goats, who sped
away in large troops before them. It was curious to view on these half
calcined rocks camels richly caparisoned, and pavilions of gold and silk
waving on their summits, which till then had never been covered but with
sapless thistles and fern.
The females and eunuchs uttered shrill wailings at the sight of the
precipices below them, and the dreary prospects that opened in the vast
gorges of the mountains. Before they could reach the ascent of the
steepest rock, night overtook them, and a boisterous tempest arose,
which, having rent the awnings of the palanquins and cages, exposed to
the raw gusts the poor ladies within, who had never before felt so
piercing a cold. The dark clouds that overcast the face of the sky
deepened the horrors of this disastrous night, insomuch that nothing
could be heard distinctly but the mewling of pages and lamentations of
sultanas.
To increase the general misfortune, the frightful uproar of wild beasts
resounded at a distance, and there were soon perceived, in the forest
they were skirting, the glaring of eyes which could belong only to devils
or tigers. The pioneers, who, as well as they could, had marked out a
track, and a part of the advanced guard were devoured before they had
been in the least apprized of their danger. The confusion that prevailed
was extreme; wolves, tigers, and other carnivorous animals, invited by
the howling of their companions, flocked together from every quarter; the
crashing of bones was heard on all sides, and a fearful rush of wings
overhead, for now vultures also began to be of the party.
The terror at length reached the main body of the troops which surrounded
the monarch and his harem, at the distance of two leagues from the scene.
Vathek (voluptuously reposed in his capacious litter upon cushions of
silk, with two little pages beside him of complexions more fair than the
enamel of Franguestan, who were occupied in keeping off flies) was
soundly asleep, and contemplating in his dreams the treasures of Soliman.
The shrieks, however, of his wives awoke him with a start, and, instead
of the Giaour with his key of gold, he beheld Bababalouk full of
consternation.
“Sire,” exclaimed this good servant of the most potent of monarchs,
“misfortune is arrived at its height; wild beasts, who entertain no more
reverence for your sacred person than for that of a dead ass, have beset
your camels and their drivers; thirty of the richest laden are already
become their prey, as well as your confectioners, your cooks, and
purveyors; and, unless our holy Prophet should protect us, we shall have
all eaten our last meal.”
At the mention of eating the Caliph lost all patience; he began to
bellow, and even beat himself (for there was no seeing in the dark). The
rumour every instant increased, and Bababalouk, finding no good could be
done with his master, stopped both his ears against the hurly-burly of
the harem, and called out aloud: “Come, ladies and brothers! all hands to
work! strike light in a moment! never shall it be said that the Commander
of the Faithful served to regale these infidel brutes.”
Though there wanted not in this bevy of beauties a sufficient number of
capricious and wayward, yet on the present occasion they were all
compliance; fires were visible in a twinkling in all their cages; ten
thousand torches were lighted at once; the Caliph himself seized a large
one of wax; every person followed his example, and, by kindling ropes’
ends dipped in oil and fastened on poles, an amazing blaze was spread.
The rocks were covered with the splendour of sunshine; the trails of
sparks wafted by the wind communicated to the dry fern, of which there
was plenty. Serpents were observed to crawl forth from their retreats
with amazement and hissings, whilst the horses snorted, stamped the
ground, tossed their noses in the air, and plunged about without mercy.
One of the forests of cedar that bordered their way took fire, and the
branches that overhung the path, extending their flames to the muslins
and chintzes which covered the cages of the ladies, obliged them to jump
out, at the peril of their necks. Vathek, who vented on the occasion a
thousand blasphemies, was himself compelled to touch with his sacred feet
the naked earth.
Never had such an incident happened before. Full of mortification,
shame, and despondence, and not knowing how to walk, the ladies fell into
the dirt. “Must I go on foot?” said one; “Must I wet my feet?” cried
another; “Must I soil my dress?” asked a third; “Execrable Bababalouk!”
exclaimed all; “Outcast of hell! what hadst thou to do with torches?
Better were it to be eaten by tigers than to fall into our present
condition! we are for ever undone! Not a porter is there in the army,
nor a currier of camels, but hath seen some part of our bodies, and, what
is worse, our very faces!” On saying this the most bashful amongst them
hid their foreheads on the ground, whist such as had more boldness flew
at Bababalouk; but he, well apprized of their humour, and not wanting in
shrewdness, betook himself to his heels along with his comrades, all
dropping their torches and striking their tymbals.
It was not less light than in the brightest of the dog-days, and the
weather was hot in proportion; but how degrading was the spectacle, to
behold the Caliph bespattered like an ordinary mortal! As the exercise
of his faculties seemed to be suspended, one of his Ethiopian wives (for
he delighted in variety) clasped him in her arms, threw him upon her
shoulder like a sack of dates, and finding that the fire was hemming them
in, set off with no small expedition, considering the weight of her
burden. The other ladies, who had just learnt the use of their feet,
followed her, their guards galloped after, and the camel-drivers brought
up the rear as fast as their charge would permit.
They soon reached the spot where the wild beasts had commenced the
carnage, and which they had too much spirit to leave, notwithstanding the
approaching tumult and the luxurious supper they had made; Bababalouk
nevertheless seized on a few of the plumpest, which were unable to budge
from the place, and began to flay them with admirable adroitness. The
cavalcade being got so far from the conflagration as that the heat felt
rather grateful than violent, it was immediately resolved on to halt.
The tattered chintzes were picked up, the scraps left by the wolves and
tigers interred, and vengeance was taken on some dozens of vultures that
were too much glutted to rise on the wing. The camels, which had been
left unmolested to make sal ammoniac, being numbered, and the ladies once
more enclosed in their cages, the imperial tent was pitched on the
levellest ground they could find.
Vathek, reposing upon a mattress of down, and tolerably recovered from
the jolting of the Ethiopian, who to his feelings seemed the roughest
trotting jade he had hitherto mounted, called out for something to eat.
But, alas! those delicate cakes which had been baked in silver ovens for
his royal mouth, those rich manchets, amber comfits, flagons of Schiraz
wine, porcelain vases of snow, and grapes from the banks of the Tigris,
were all irremediably lost! And nothing had Bababalouk to present in
their stead but a roasted wolf, vultures _à la daube_, aromatic herbs of
the most acrid poignancy, rotten truffles, boiled thistles, and such
other wild plants as most ulcerate the throat and parch up the tongue.
Nor was he better provided in the article of drink, for he could procure
nothing to accompany these irritating viands but a few vials of
abominable brandy, which had been secreted by the scullions in their
slippers.
Vathek made wry faces at so savage a repast, and Bababalouk answered them
with shrugs and contortions; the Caliph, however, ate with tolerable
appetite, and fell into a nap that lasted six hours. The splendour of
the sun reflected from the white cliffs of the mountains, in spite of the
curtains that enclosed him, at length disturbed his repose; he awoke
terrified, and stung to the quick by those wormwood-coloured flies, which
emit from their wings a suffocating stench. The miserable monarch was
perplexed how to act, though his wits were not idle in seeking
expedients, whilst Bababalouk lay snoring amidst a swarm of those
insects, that busily thronged to pay court to his nose. The little
pages, famished with hunger, had dropped their fans on the ground, and
exerted their dying voices in bitter reproaches on the Caliph, who now
for the first time heard the language of truth.
Thus stimulated, he renewed his imprecations against the Giaour, and
bestowed upon Mahomet some soothing expressions. “Where am I?” cried he;
“what are these dreadful rocks? these valleys of darkness? are we arrived
at the horrible Kaf? is the Simurgh coming to pluck out my eyes, as a
punishment for undertaking this impious enterprise!” Having said this,
he bellowed like a calf and turned himself towards an outlet in the side
of his pavilion; but, alas! what objects occurred to his view! on one
side a plain of black sand that appeared to be unbounded, and on the
other perpendicular crags, bristled over with those abominable thistles
which had so severely lacerated his tongue. He fancied, however, that he
perceived, amongst the brambles and briers, some gigantic flowers, but
was mistaken; for these were only the dangling palampores and variegated
tatters of his gay retinue. As there were several clefts in the rock
from whence water seemed to have flowed, Vathek applied his ear, with the
hope of catching the sound of some latent runnel, but could only
distinguish the low murmurs of his people, who were repining at their
journey, and complaining for the want of water.
“To what purpose,” asked they, “have we been brought hither? Hath our
Caliph another tower to build? or have the relentless Afrits, whom
Carathis so much loves, fixed in this place their abode?”
At the name of Carathis Vathek recollected the tablets he had received
from his mother, who assured him they were fraught with preternatural
qualities, and advised him to consult them as emergencies might require.
Whilst he was engaged in turning them over he heard a shout of joy and a
loud clapping of hands; the curtains of his pavilion were soon drawn
back, and he beheld Bababalouk, followed by a troop of his favourites,
conducting two dwarfs, each a cubit high, who brought between them a
large basket of melons, oranges, and pomegranates. They were singing in
the sweetest tones the words that follow: