(_A bull recently got into a china shop, but was coaxed out before any
damage was done._)
WE cut but a decadent figure;
Our virtues grow sickly and pale;
Our forefathers' valour and vigour
Live only in poem and tale;
Our thews are beginning to soften;
No more are we sturdy and hard;
These facts have been often and often
Explained to the bard.
But still to despondent repining
He never consented to yield;
For comfort amid our declining
He looked to the beasts of the field;
Though others grew haggard with grief, he
Maintained a refusal to quake
So long as our bulls remained beefy
And a steak _was_ a steak.
But now there _is_ cause to repine, a
Dread portent of what to expect:
A bull has got loose in the china
And nothing, no, nothing's been wrecked.
Where fragments were wont to be scattered
Like forest leaves under a gale
Not even a saucer was shattered
By a flick of the tail.
Oh, say, can this care for the teacup
Proclaim that the common decay
Is busting the bovine physique up
And hasting the horrible day
When the bard, too, must take up the story
That the halo of England grows dim,
Since the beef, whence she gathered her glory,
Is void of its vim?
* * * * *
Honours Easy.
"L25 Reward. Lost, either at Folkestone Harbour or from a
Pullman Car, a Gentleman's Fur Coat, lined with minx."
_Morning Post._
* * * * *
"Miss Trenerry, wearing a coat of rose charmeuse, with
white fur collar, and several gentlemen."--_Express and Echo
(Exeter)._
* * * * *
"Young Man requires board and lodging in Carshalton; hot and
cold bath preferred."
_The Herald (Sutton)._
He can't have it both ways at once.
* * * * *
"At the Gare de Lyon this afternoon Rolland was welcomed by
General de Castelnau, who embraced him and took his arm to the
buffet of the station, where a reception was held."--_Daily
Telegraph._