(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)
_House of Lords, Monday, February 23rd._--Temporarily relieved from
thoughts of Ulster or meditations upon Marconi, House gave itself up
to bright debate on question not less attractive because of spice
of personality. Spice acquired additional piquancy since it was not
supposed to be there. Its absence was indeed formally insisted upon.
"Oh no, we never mention him. His name is never heard." All the same,
as debate went forward, names _did_ occur. Glances, furtively shot
from side to side of House, casually rested upon particular seats,
whether empty or occupied.
SELBORNE introduced subject by moving Resolution condemning principle
that a contribution to Party funds should be a consideration to a
Minister recommending to the Sovereign bestowal of a titular honour.
Subject delicate one to handle. As SELBORNE admitted, WILLOUGHBY DE
BROKE and RIBBLESDALE in succession concurring, it was not a Party
question. Notorious that since the days of Lord NORTH both political
parties are tarred with same brush. Through difficult circumstances
SELBORNE adroitly picked his way in lively speech. Sorely handicapped
by Resolution, the effect of which, even with assistance of other
House, would, as RIBBLESDALE pointed out, be absolutely nil. "In the
end," he said, "both Houses would be only expressing a pious, almost a
Pharisaical opinion."
This conceded, the Lords, having no work to do, might have done much
worse than devote sitting to breezy debate.
WILLOUGHBY DE BROKE at his best in his enunciation of principles upon
which, were he dispenser of honours in the Radical camp, he would
choose his peers. Whilst taking broad view of case on eugenic
principles, he would be inclined to make selection in favour of
childless candidates.
"The sons of newly-created Radical peers are," he shrewdly remarked,
"almost certain to be Tories, while a Radical grandson of a Radical
peer is a phenomenon never seen."
Incidentally the bold Baron took occasion to remark that his own title
was conferred upon an ancestor in reward for active part taken in
placing the Tudor dynasty on the throne. Some noble lords, whose
patent to peerage is of rather more recent date, whilst agreeing
generally with his views, thought this remark superfluous. Why drag in
the Tudors?
WILLOUGHBY'S graphic account of an interview with the agent of a
moneyed applicant for honours was capped by RIBBLESDALE, who confided
to listening Senate particulars of occasions when, as a Whip he had
from time to time been "approached."
MILNER, shocked by what he regarded as frivolity, proposed to treat
the subject "with a slight approach to seriousness." Proposal cast a
blight over proceedings which were hurried to conclusion.
_Business done._--SELBORNE'S Resolution agreed to with verbal
amendment.
[Illustration: _Lord CREWE (to Lord SELBORNE on his way to the Debate
on the Sale of Honours)._ "I trust we shall have no stone-throwing."
_Lord SELBORNE._ "I'm entirely with you. Too much stained-glass about,
what?"]
_House of Commons, Tuesday._--Resemblance of House of Commons to the
sea never more strikingly illustrated than at to-night's sitting. For
five hours and a half deadliest calm reigned. Benches less than
half full. Questions droned through appointed period. House got into
Committee of Supply on Civil Service estimates. Votes for Colonial
Service offered occasion for debate on Camel Corps disaster in
Somaliland last August. LULU defended in detail the policy and action
of his department. At half-past eight, talk still dragging slow length
along, he moved closure. Division on proposal to reduce the estimate,
equivalent to vote of censure, ran Government majority up to 125.
Suddenly scene changed. It was the mid-dinner hour, period at which
House is as a rule dismally empty. The four-hundred-and-seventy
Members who had taken part in the division, instead of fleeing in
accordance with custom as if fire had broken out, made for their
seats, whence rose the buzz of excited talk that presages a tempest.
The miracle was worked by Ulster. FALLE, having by favour of fortune
at ballot-box secured portion of sitting as Private Member's property,
moved Resolution calling upon PRIME MINISTER, forthwith to submit
to House his proposals for alteration of Government of Ireland Bill.
Opposition mustered in support. Ministerialists whipped up to last
man. When, following mover and seconder of Resolution, PREMIER
appeared at the table he was welcomed by shout of exultant cheering.
Significant contrast with his reception when, a fortnight earlier,
he stood in same place and seemed inclined to dally with proposal for
exclusion of Ulster. Instinctively, or through whispered information,
Ministerialists knew he was now, as they put it, "going straight."
Their most sanguine expectation justified. PREMIER in fine fighting
form.
"Gentlemen opposite," he scornfully said, "seem to think we here can
be likened to a beleaguered garrison, driven by the stress of warfare
into an untenable position with failing supplies, with exhausted
ammunition, with shaken nerves, and that it is for them, the minority
of this House, to dictate the terms of capitulation that are to
determine whether we are to be allowed to surrender with or without
the honours of war."
That sufficed to indicate his position. Whilst disclosure increased
enthusiasm on Ministerial side it correspondingly inflamed passion on
benches opposite.
There was an anxious moment when fisticuffs seemed imminent across the
table in close proximity to shocked Mace. CARSON making interruption
(one of a continuous series), PREMIER thought it was WALTER LONG, and
severely enjoined him to restrain himself. LONG hotly retorted that he
had not spoken. Angry cheers and counter-cheers resounded in opposing
camps. PREMIER, accepting assurance of his mistake, apologised.
Fisticuffs postponed.
Warned by experience, PREMIER took no notice when MOORE OF ARMAGH
shouted, "Why do you funk a General Election?" or when later he
received from same source disclaimer of belief in his sincerity;
or when another Ulster Member characterised forceful passage in his
speech as "Tomfoolery."
Fresh roar of cheering broke over excited host of Ministerialists
when by way of last word PREMIER declared, "We are not going at the
eleventh hour to betray a great cause."
_Business done._--Proverbially swift descent from sublime to
ridiculous. Demand of Opposition for instant disclosure of Ministerial
plan altering Home Rule Bill met by Amendment from Liberal side
declaring confidence in Government. This carried by majority of 73.
When put as substantial Resolution eleven o'clock had struck. No
opposed business may be taken after that hour. House accordingly
forthwith adjourned. Record of night's business in Journals of House
prepared for perusal of posterity is comprehended in word "That----"
_Thursday._--House puzzled by question on Paper standing in name of
H. P. CROFT. Member for Christchurch desires "to ask the Secretary of
State for the Colonies whether he has received petitions in favour of
immediate legislation dealing with imported plumage through all or any
of the Prime Ministers of the States of Australia."
How, why and under what circumstances plumage should be "imported
through" Prime Ministers of the Australian Commonwealth no one can
guess. Generally agreed that, if such painful procedure actually
be the Colonial custom, prohibitive legislation cannot be too soon
undertaken.
SYDNEY HOLLAND, for many years the prop and stay of the London
Hospital, has taken his seat in the House of Lords on accession to the
Viscountcy of Knutsford. Apart from hereditary claim, he is the ideal
type of the class of peer whom reformers on both sides look to for
restoration of the prestige and usefulness of the Upper Chamber.
Nevertheless it is hoped he will not give up to Westminster what was
meant for mankind--the splendid devotion of capacity and energy to the
service of the sick poor of London.
_Business done._--In Committee on Supplementary Estimates.
* * * * *
The New Matrimonial Insurance.
"HUSBAND INSURED AWAY."
"_Daily Mail" Heading._
* * * * *
[Illustration: "Gentlemen opposite seem to think we here can be
likened to a beleaguered garrison, driven by the stress of warfare
into an untenable position."--_Mr. ASQUITH in the debate on Mr.
FALLE'S resolution._]
* * * * *
The Land Campaign once more.
"Large Foot Path, very strong, reduced to 6s. 11d., less than
half-price."
_Advt. in "The Accrington Observer._"
* * * * *
"Are we not having just a little too much London? A glance
over our rapidly growing fixture list suggests that the
predominance of the great Metrolopis in matters of golfing is
becoming rather too pronounced."--_Golfing._
It's not fair to the privonces.
* * * * *
"Members of the Chicago Bachelor Girls' Club, who number sixty
at present, say they must receive affirmative answers to this
list of questions before they will marry:
... Have you bad habits, such as drinking or smoking to
excess?..."--_Daily Mirror._
"The answer is in the affirmative."
"Then I am yours."
* * * * *