THE ENGAGED BACHELOR.
The etiquette of engagements is simple. There are no rules as to how a
man should ask a woman to be his wife.
A man is not at liberty to announce his engagement until his _fiancee_
gives him permission to do so. It is her family who have the right to
know first of the existence of an engagement. Very few engagements are
entered into so hurriedly as not to be anticipated in a way by the
members of the young woman's household. However, the first step to be
taken is the announcement by the _fiancee_ to her mother, her father, or
her proper guardian of the existing circumstances. Sometimes this is
done in a most informal way by both parties. The day after the
engagement has thus been announced it is good form for the man to have a
private talk with the young woman's parents or guardian. In America we
are supposed to be above the discussion of marriage settlements. A man
should never ask a woman to marry him unless he has the wherewithal to
support her in the manner in which she has been accustomed to live. An
inquiry into the state of the proposed son-in-law's finances is
perfectly proper and should not be taken amiss. Engagements are
announced to other members of the family than those of the household by
informal notes when it is decided it should be made public. Relatives
and intimate friends should be apprised of it before one's general
acquaintances. In these days of "society news" the general announcement
is frequently made through the medium of the newspapers. It can also be
made verbally.
During the engagement it is expected that a man's relatives and friends
should pay the prospective bride as much attention as possible. They
should call on her and felicitate her as soon as they have been informed
of the affair. A pretty compliment for a male member of the man's family
or one of his intimates is to send flowers to the new _fiancee_.
Engagements should never be announced unless the wedding day is fixed
approximately. Avoid long engagements.
The engagement ring is a solitaire diamond, but one with two smaller
diamonds is appropriate. This will depend upon the income of the swain.
Rings with colored stones, however, are not in vogue for engagements.
During the engagement the betrothed couple should be seen as much as
possible in each other's society. Neither should appear at large
entertainments to which the other has not been asked. Little attentions
are expected. A man should send from time to time, according to the
state of his finances, flowers, sweets, or other tokens. A sensible girl
will not approve of costly gifts if you can not afford them. A very
acceptable token would be a bunch of violets or American beauty roses
sent from a fashionable florist.